Returning Home

[Varian Alaric]

Six years. Six long grueling years working in the First Order, primarily as a member of the Order of Ren.

That was how long it had been since the young Disciple of Ren, Primat Ren, had last seen home and seen the faces of his friends, parents, and siblings. Primat had never actually seen Tamora before. His name had been Varian Alaric when he had left his home behind. And he would return six years later, under the visage and title of Primat Ren. He had left a young and relatively awkward and innocent teenager, with his eyes and mind blind to the sorrows, beauty, and death which was in the Galaxy. And yet, he would return having faced all of it...and more. He wasn't returning to Tamora alone, no. He was here with Varas. She had talked about them going to Tamora some time when the two of them had first met on Virgillia. Back then, Primat would never have considered the two of them would actually develop feelings for one another. At that time, he had had feelings for the young Knight of Ren. And he had never expected for them to actually get together despite how much he had wanted it to happen.

And let, somehow...they become lovers. They were emotionally attached to one another and had on more than one occasion, spent very intimate and personal moment's with one another. Primat was of course, nervous to bring Varas to Tamora. It wasn't what you would call an 'urbanized' world. It only had one main, urban city with a few urban towns and the rest being farms and fishing villages that made use of galactic-standard technology though that was it. He knew he would have to introduce Varas to both his parents and family, maybe even a few of his friends if they still lived on Tamora or had somehow found a way off of the lush and beautiful planet. Primat didn't know what his parents would think of Varas, though he hoped and prayed that they would think good of her. He wasn't much of a religious man, though he prayed now in this moment for guidance and help. And it brought comfort to the young Disciple of Ren, if only a little comfort that is.

The two of them had caught a private shuttle from First Order space and set the path to head towards Tamora.

_______________________________________________________________​

"So, excited? Nervous? I hope everything goes well cause...you'll probably be meeting my parents a-and," Primat bumbled words out of his mouth quickly. He normally wouldn't be as nervous around Varas. The two had spent so many times with each other, so many intimate moments alone with one another, that he wouldn't ever be nervous or that hesitant around her. Though the thought of Varas meeting his parents made the young Disciple a bumbling mess of nerves and anxiety. His right leg subtly moved up and down out of sheer nervousness, while his right hand was wrapped around the left hand of Varas. He had been dreaming of taking her to Tamora ever since the two of them had actually gotten together romantically. However, dreaming something and actually doing something...were both two completely different and frightening experiences.

Primat's outfit was rather casual, he had opted for something simple and more casual. Especially considering that he was returning home, he didn't want people to know he had been working for some fear-inspiring massive, planet-spanning organization. Though, he could mention that the two of them worked for a military of some sort...but probably not specify that they were operatives within the Order of Ren. His parents would think that he had become a religious fanatic and met a pretty cult girl. Which was something that both amused Primat, and made him nervous at the prospect of them finding out.

[member="Varas Ren"]

 

[Armand Temi]

Hummmmmmmmmmm. Rrrrrrr. Rrrrrr. CRASH!

For the days leading up to her trip to Tamora, Varas focused on saber training with two fresh Disciples of the Order, anything to distract herself from the excitement. She would be traveling with Primat - alone! Alone! The entire upcoming trip seemed too perfect to be true, and the brunette Knight worried that someone was going to snatch it away like a well-earned piece of chocolate cake after a week of fasting.

Now they were in the shuttle on the way and Varas was much more relieved than nervous. This was actually happening!

She put a hand on Primat’s bouncing knee to steady it. “I’m more excited than anxious. And I can’t wait to meet your parents, truly.” Though Varas’s words were genuine, her tone gentle, she worried slightly that she would feel a strange envy over her lover’s upbringing.

But instead of feeling so poignantly estranged from your own parents, could you adopt his as your own, she wondered?

“I hope they like me,” she said, voicing only a sliver of the doubt in her mind. Like her lover she wore a casual outfit, mostly black, and not quite sure what the temperature would be when they landed, she’d brought a soft jacket which hung in the crook of her arm. Furthermore, the couple’s subterfuge was twofold. On one hand they had to lie to the Ren to make it seem like they were searching for intelligence on rebel forces and Jedi on Tamora, and then on the other, they would have to completely not mention the Ren to his parents and pretend they just met…

“Wait, what is our story again? Where did you and I meet?”

Oh poodoo, I'm going to completely kark this up.

[member="Primat Ren"]

 

[Varian Alaric]

Prinat jumped slightly when he felt Varas' hand fall on to his bouncing knee, now steadying it from it's previous nervous movements. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't have jumped out of surprise and shock. And yet, here he was, jumping at the feeling of Varas' warm hand on his knee. The reason as to why he was so jumpy alluded the young Disciple. Though if he did have to place a reason as to why, it was the prospect of Varas meeting his parents and seeing where he grew up. Primat was afraid that he had made him home of Tamora sound overly exciting with so many things to do, he was afraid that he had made out Tamora more exciting than it was. In truth, he wasn't sure just how exciting it was anymore. After all, he had left at only the age of eighteen and only had fond childhood memories, holos, and holo-videos to remember his life on Tamora. A life which, looking back on it now, now felt as though he had lived on Tamora a lifetime ago. Primat had gone through so much over just the course of six years. It made it feel as though he had lived two lives.

One life of eighteen years on his homeworld of Tamora. And a lifetime of six years working in and among the First Order.

"Hey, don't worry,"Primat said reassuringly. He did believe that his parents would like Varas, or at least he hoped that they would like her because he likes her. He at the very least, hope that they didn't hate her. But the Yong Disciple of Ren kept his hopes up high. In response to her worrying, he kisses her softly on the lips for a few seconds, enjoying this moment of solace for the young couple. "I'm sure that they will love you, Varas. As for our story...well, we met in the military which will explain why we are good at fighting and why we have weapons. And then we went to the Peace Core together to offer aid to victims of war. We first met up in the military as well but got together in the Peace Core. Got all that?"

Soon, the shuttle would make planetfall and land on the planet below at last...


[member="Varas Ren"]

 

[Armand Temi]

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMgHjKUJ-6E[/youtube]​

Right away, Varas noticed Primat’s jumpiness. Oh my poor sweet brother, she thought. He’s really nervous about this trip. She welcomed the kiss as a chance to ease his fears, letting her lips linger upon his as long as he would let them. This always left her a little breathless as being alone with him seemed like such a novelty.

“I think so,” she said. “It’s a nice fantasy to believe in doing good for once. Not that the Order is evil…”

I mean were they? Really good? Varas liked to believe the First Order’s values mirrored her own, but who was to say when she’d been specifically created in a laboratory to fight on their behalf.

Breaking through the atmosphere always made her stomach lurch just a little, but once Tamora grew closer, the round ball of light in the view port hypnotized her for a minute, until she asked, “Do you think the First Order strives for good? Do you ever think about what we do and wonder if we’re on the wrong side?”

[member="Primat Ren"]

 

[Varian Alaric]

After a few seconds of the pair of young lover's kissing, they pulled their lips away from one another. Somehow, the kiss had put Primat's fears at ease some, at least the kiss shared between the two members of Ren had made him less worried about what his parents would think of Varas. Even if his parent's didn't like Varas, which was something that he doubted, the young Disciple would still love the female Knight of Ren.

“Do you think the First Order strives for good? Do you ever think about what we do and wonder if we’re on the wrong side?”

Primat had not been anticipating that type of questioning from Varas. He knew she meant no malicious intent, though he struggled for a few seconds to formulate a response. The First Order had given him a home and a sense of worth after he had left Tamora six years ago. He had always thought of the imperial regime as a 'good' nation, one that did the most lawful actions that it saw were best. That didn't however, mean they didn't do...terrible things. He had never given those lines of thought much leeway before. He had always brushed away those unjust and rebellious thoughts before in the past. The young Disciple had never really had an interest in pursuing or pondering about the First Order, what it stood for, what it did...if it stood on the side of 'good' or 'evil.' Though, Primat knew he could be honest here with Varas. Even though he had never given the topic much thought beforehand, he decided to enlighten Varas...and himself about what he truly thought of the First Order. "I've never really given that...much thought before. Truthfully, I believe that the First Order...does what they believe, is right. I think that they try to bring order to this messed up Galaxy, but they go about it the wrong way at times. We...no, they go about doing things the absolute wrong way at times. Especially uh, Sieger. Truthfully, I still hold my allegiance to the First Order though as for Sieger, he isn't much of an authority figure. He is more of a...tyrannical figure who tries to instill fear in us with his power..."

The conversation between the two lovers was interrupted as the shuttle finally landed. Primat and Varas walked out of the shuttle, carrying their bags with them. They weren't overly large bags, though enough for the two of them to stay a few weeks. The two were met with a peculiar sight of the city of Akaar. The spaceport was located upon a large hill which overlooked the center of the city below. Their were buildings of modern urban design that rose high up like skyscrapers, and their were more fantasy-esque buildings and details spread out among the city and built into part of the large skyscrapers, giving the city of Akarr an almost dream-like visage. Primat's mouth dropped in surprise and shock, it felt so...strange to be back here. To have his feet press against the same metal ground that he had stood on six years ago when he had first left. He was actually, home.

[member="Varas Ren"]

 

[Armand Temi]

Dark brows furrowed in concentration, Varas listened carefully to Primat. He was right in a way about Sieger and the Ren leadership. Maybe her grievances with the First Order had to do with politics and not necessarily with ideology.

As the shuttle dove into a bumpy landing, cutting off the discussion for a moment, once they hit the solid ground of the launch pad, the clone said, “I guess… I don’t even know what the right way of doing things is.”

But soon her gaze was distracted to the beautiful city before them, the towering skyscrapers, horizon dotted with starships, transports and even birds. “Wow, I didn’t realize that Akarr was so big. The way you described Tamora… well, I expected more of an agricultural world.” She slung her bag across her shoulder, the strap so long that her belongings nearly brushed the ground. Varas looked over at Primat studying his expression, which she found hard to read. She knew he was excited, but his wonderment of Akarr seemed a little different than hers. Was there a wistful nostalgia there imprinted upon his features? Was he nervous?

As she waited to see if they were getting picked up or would need to hail a speeder, she asked, “Do you ever get homesick? I mean, not know obviously, but when we’re at the Bastion or something?”

[member="Primat Ren"]

 

[Varian Alaric]

“Wow, I didn’t realize that Akarr was so big. The way you described Tamora… well, I expected more of an agricultural world.”

"Well, I mean it is a mostly agricultural world. Akaar is the only urbanized city, and the only place that has an actual spaceport...that is if you're counting official and actually built spaceports. Because some people have 'homemade' spaceports with gravel as the 'landing zone,' it's actually a pretty impressive sight. We have one at my family's farm so we can check that out if you're interested. Akaar is a pretty big city, it numbers in about three million people and yet most people don't live here. Trust me, you'll see just how beautiful Tamora get's when we get outside of the city!" Primat replied to Varas calmly and with new found confidence ans nostalgia. It was so strange being back here on Tamora. He had never believed that he would return home, ever. He had believed he would eventually return, though he had expected that to be within a ten or twelve year time-frame. Far from a six year time-frame. It felt so...alien and foreign to the young Disciple to actually return back home, to have the prospect of seeing his family again. And to have Varas see them and meet them. Primat was all kinds of nervous of course, yet all the more excited at the prospect of being able to see his family and maybe even friends again. Now that he was here on Tamora's surface, he realized the pros far outweighed the cons about returning to Tamora at last.

“Do you ever get homesick? I mean, not know obviously, but when we’re at the Bastion or something?”

That was a difficult question for the young Disciple of Ren to answer, and to even find an answer to. Saying he had not expected the question would be a lie from Primat, he had expected it to come up somehow. Though he had not known when it would come up, or even the context it would come up in. Primat didn't have an immediate reply for the female Knight of Ren, his lover. After a few seconds of mulling it over, he had a reply for her, "Yes I do. I get homesick at times when something remind's me of my life and of my home on Tamora. But it's not all of the time, it's only on occasion. Very rare occasions at that. Overall I would say that I do get homesick, though I tend to focus more on the present. And it helps when you're here with me, you help to distract me from my problems and focus on what life could be life outside of the order."


[member="Varas Ren"]

 

[Armand Temi]

“I can’t wait,” Varas responded. A line of speeder taxis suddenly appeared all vying for the couple’s credits. The Knight of Ren flagged the first one, driven by a female Chiss. She climbed into the back to let Primat negotiate with the driver and give her directions.

“I’m flattered, baby,” she said to him, using a pet name, one she’d picked up from a holomovie. Sweetie, honey, pateesa, pet, mesh’la, dear. Those had been considered, but baby just flowed the best off of her tongue. “I-I want to be your family no matter where we are stationed.”

Thinking of family as they began the journey to Primat’s parent’s farm, Varas thought about how she would describe her own parents. Biting her lower lip in consternation, she mused on this for awhile, pensively glancing out of the window. “So I am planning to be somewhat truthful to your mother and father about my parents. Tmoxin, my mother is a politician for the Confederacy and Kyrel? I guess I will call him by his familial name, Thomas and explain that he is a man from Dossun. Not quite sure how to explain the estrangement. Maybe we can say they both didn’t approve of our desire to help the Peace Corps in dangerous war zones?”

[member="Primat Ren"]

 

[Varian Alaric]

“I’m flattered, baby. I-I want to be your family no matter where we are stationed.”

At those words, Primat couldn't help but smile at Varas. The female Knight's words brought comfort to the young Disciple and reassurance to his doubts as well. He was glad that she felt the same way about him. And he loved the nickname, the pet name that Varas had come up for him. It was nice and cute, it gave Primat the idea to try and come up with a cute pet name for her as well. He would try to come up with it during their time on Tamora. Though for now, he brushed away that thought and focused on her and what his parents would say when he came home. They would no doubt be overjoyed, though probably embarrassed and annoyed that he had not called ahead of time. Though, Primat had wanted to surprise his parents and siblings at his return home, even though it was just a temporary return home though. It would take them awhile to get out of the city alone, though that gave the young couple plenty of time to talk and plenty of anticipation to see the encroaching trees and wildlife once they got outside of the city.


Primat's glacier blue eyes looked towards Varas as she began to talk about what type of cover she would put up for her parents and for how she would describe them. All of what she said sounded like it would work quite well in all honesty. "All of that will work, don't you worry. And yeah, let's go with that; your parents didn't approve of us working in the Peace Corps and that's what made us end up here."

[member="Varas Ren"]

 

[Armand Temi]

Varas smiled at Primat and gazed out of the window of the speeder taxi, eyes glazing over a bit as she pensively studied the landscape. Working for the galaxy Peace Corps did not seem like such a bad idea right now, especially after she’d been questioning the true nature of the First Order. But like any large program, volunteer or otherwise, both organizations gave a structure to those who participated.

And despite being born into the Order, the strict framework of the FO seemed like something she could not do without. As least she’d never tried and was hesitant to do so.

Changing the subject in her mind, she spoke in a soft voice, turning to Primat: “Maybe one of these days I’ll seek out my mother. What do you think? Or… am I just setting myself up for heartbreak if I think she’ll want anything to do with me?” Moisture pooled in her bright, green eyes as though she might tear up, but as she breathed, she gave her brother a wan smile to disguise her true emotions.

[member="Primat Ren"]

 

[Varian Alaric]

[member="Varas"]

“Maybe one of these days I’ll seek out my mother. What do you think? Or… am I just setting myself up for heartbreak if I think she’ll want anything to do with me?”

Primat didn't need to look at Varas to know that she was on the verge of tears, all he had to hear was the sound of her voice and the waiver in her normally calm tone. He didn't hesitate as he turned his body towards her, his blue eyes finding her green eyes which were pooled in moisture and an unrequited sadness brought about by painful, striking thoughts. He believed that he knew better than Varas about how her mother would react, or at least he believed that her mother wouldn't react like that. In truth, he didn't know how her mother would react to seeing her...though he felt like her mother would at least be pleasantly surprised to see her. That would count for something, hopefully. The young Ren didn't dwell on those thoughts and hopes for the future, their wasn't a need to. The more he hoped the reaction of Varas's mother would be happy, the more disappointed he would be in person if her mother wasn't excited.

He outstretched his arms, wrapping them around her and pulling her close and flush with his own body as he embraced her in a warm and comforting hug. He kept his arms firmly circled around her, yet gentle in their pressure encase she wanted to pull away and be left to her own thoughts. Although he didn't have much experience with familial problems, Primat would understand if she wanted to dwell on these thoughts by her lonesome. But he felt it was his duty to comfort her, even if she didn't want his warm embrace. The young Ren trailed his lips over her forehead, softly placing a kiss against her temple before his glazed and inviting eyes beamed down at her green eyes which were stained with the weariness of self doubt and hopelessness. "Hey, Varas, don't worry. I'm positive that she will be happy to see you, or pleasently surprised at the very least. And if she isn't, you'll still have me."

 

[Armand Temi]

Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, Varas told herself, but she could feel the hot tears well up and begin to leak down the sides of her shapely cheekbones. The more she tried to stop it, the faster her eyes pooled. And as Primat reached towards her, embracing her in sadness, not exploiting her weakness like her father might, she sobbed just a little, torso heaving into him.

“I-I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s come over me. But don’t worry, Brother. I’m still incredibly happy with you.” She attempted a smile, knowing it would come out quite lopsided. And the way she clutched at him with her hands would let him know she did not want to be alone.

Alone is how she felt most of the time while training with the Ren or out on the battlefield.

Varas let out a soft sigh as his lips caressed her forehead, petalled like a flower. Her love for him was so much more multi-dimensional than she ever thought imaginable. And glimpsing the shadow of self-doubt in his own eyes she wanted to wipe that away as though a stain off of an expensive white rug.

“Should I freshen up?” she asked, laughing now, giving him a peck on the cheek back and squeezing his knee. Varas pulled out a small tube of lipstick and an eyeliner pencil, incongruous feminine details for the normally militaristic Ren.

[member="Primat Ren"]

 

[Varian Alaric]

[member="Varas"]

Primat took in a deep, drawn-in breath as he felt Varas lean into him, resting her head against his chest. Slowing his breathing down, his glacier blue eyes beamed down towards Varas as he felt a soft trickle of liquid flow onto his shirt. He didn't have to see what she was doing or what was happening to know that she was crying. The young Ren wasn't great at comforting people who were in a depressed and upset state of mind, he had hardly ever dealt with people who were feeling down and depressed about their current situations before so this was something new for the young man. Despite not knowing how to properly comfort Varas in her distressed state, Primat didn't hesitate to try and do his best to comfort the woman who he loved. He hated to see anyone cry or become distressed in self-doubt. But when it was Varas who was experiencing self-doubts, he found that even harder to deal with than a stranger or friend was upset. The Ren's right hand went to the side of Varas's head, he drew his fingers softly against the side of her head as his fingers dipped and glided through her silky brown hair. He had seen people do this before in romance holo-movies which Marrisckal had forced him to watch, so he assumed the same thing worked in real life.

“Should I freshen up?”

The young man couldn't help but smile softly at hearing what Varas had said. Even though she had been crying, she still looked absolutely beautiful to him. Though her eyeliner was a bit smeared now, which was probably what Varas was referring to. Under any other circumstances, Primat would have told her that she looked absolutely beautiful to him. Though,, he had to admit, the smeared eyeliner now around her eyes looked a bit...comical which made him laugh slightly. Outstretching his finger, he dragged it across her cheek, collecting some of the smeared black eyeliner on the tip of his finger. "Well, you look absolutely fine to me, Varas. Though, you may want to reapply your eyeliner and...y'know, get rid of the smeared eyeliner around your eyes."

 

[Armand Temi]

Feeling Primat’s fingers flowing through her dark locks, Varas sighed, realized she didn’t want to be that girl, though the watching of holomovies on his part did the trick. The human touch immediately cheered her.

She listened to his words and pulled out a small compact, touching up her makeup, feeling as though this ritual was far too intimate for Primat to see.

But then again, they were lovers and shouldn’t he bear witness to everything?

“Better?” she asked feebly. Her face was painted now, a mask of beauty and promise, but Varas still felt incredibly insecure inside. Her heart fluttered like a lantern bird was stuck in her chest.

“We must almost be there, right Primat?”

[member="Primat Ren"]

 

[Varian Alaric]

[member="Varas"]

Primat's eyes were mesmerized in a shine of curiosity as he watched Varas. One moment, she had been crying out of fear and self-induced paranoia about her own mother and life outside of the First Order. The next moment, she sounded as if she had never been crying or ever been upset in the first place. It was something that the young man found hard to believe, because he had never truly realized the type of emotional comfort he brought his female lover beforehand. The Ren did have a faint impression on the impact and influence he had over her, and vice versa for her impact and influence over him. Though, he hadn't realized to the extent that his words had on her. The comfort they brought her, the joy they brought her, the utter bewilderment and shock they brought her. He found it hard to believe, and yet here they were. His arm around his lover, a lover who had just been sunken in a temporary depressed state due to feelings of self-hate and self-doubt. Thoughts and feelings which became immediately dissipated and thrown away when Primat had done his the very best that he could muster up to bring comfort to her sorrows and self-doubts.

"Better?”

"Oh please, you look 100% better than better,' you look as beautiful as the night...that night on the Booze Cruise over Bespin when we danced together and snuck away to...do things in secret," Primat said to Varas with a soft and gentle grin, as he did so, he gave her a mischievious wink about what the two of them had done that night. Whenever he thought of Varas he thought of that night that the two young lovers had spent together. It had been a night that the young Ren never would've thought would happen, and yet it did happen. And now they were here, in a sequence of events Primat had never dreamed would ever had happened.

“We must almost be there, right Primat?”


"Yeah, we're almost there. I can't wait for them to meet you!"