Ripples in the Water

[Anara Valnor]

She placed her hands in her lap, the lose of contact between them leaving her feeling oddly lonely. Absently she brushed her bangs from her face, the smile that had been upon her lips gradually fading away. Once more she chewed at her bottom lip, her brow coming together in thought. She'd attempted to tell her story of origin more than once, but thus far she had only succeeded in confusing the few she had told. Or in the case of Sarge he simply thought of her as a clone.

"Anwen...Talith."

Cronos would not recognize her last name, no one did, but she was hesitant to explain who her parents were mainly because of her father's lineage. Moridin's name was well known even now, years after his death, and her mother was likely just as renowned given her fall from grace. After a long pause she spoke again, her tongue sliding from between her lips to moisten them.

"Byss is my homeworld...I guess."

Calling a planet so corrupt by the Darkside her home was certainly odd, but it was all she had ever known. It was the place of her birth and the beginning of her life. Sighing she forced a smile and shook her head, seemingly at odds with herself. "Moridin...Father, he brought me into existence...and made me as I am." She knew the reason for her existence or at least the original reason. Now, however, she was free of the fate Moridin had designed for her and she was free to create her own future. Anwen felt as though she were being to cryptic with Cronos, but that wasn't her intent. In truth she didn't know how to explain her being to him as it made little sense even to her.

@[member="Cronos Aegir"]

 

[Qhorin Solas]

Her smile fell, and I was instantly saddened. Her smiles were powerful things, and I enjoyed them, enjoyed the sheer expressiveness of her face -- every emotion shined clearly, illuminated by her brilliant inner light. I couldn't quite believe that Byss was her homeworld. How had something so pure come from such a bleak, black place? I had never visited the planet but I knew of its reputation, had seen its wastes on holovids and datapads, and when I was near enough, when I reached deep enough into the Force, I could feel its darkness, like an oozing, infected wound. No, I couldn't believe that Anwen had been born there. Nonetheless, she spoke the truth.

The Force confirmed it.

"Moridin...Father, he brought me into existence...and made me as I am."​

​

That wasn't the whole of it, though, and I didn't need the Force to realize that -- her forced smile, barely more than a gentle curve of her lips, was telling enough. She was hesitant; unwilling, perhaps, to reveal more of her origins. Unwilling, or unable. Instead of focusing on her feelings, however, I focused on her words: specifically, her last words: made me as I am. What did that mean? Was she like me?

There was but one way to find out. "I too was made as I am," I confessed. I had never told anyone what I was about to reveal to her. No one. If asked, I wouldn't be able to explain why I told her -- it simply felt right. "I was cloned from the genetic material of an ancient Jedi Knight -- when I became aware of myself, I was this," I finished with a waving hand, gesturing to myself. My hand brushed her leg on its way down, and I realized how close we still were, suddenly hyper-aware of our nearness. I leaned back to rest my weight on my hands, but otherwise didn't move. "But you aren't a clone, are you?" Something told me she wasn't, and I voiced the thought, it rang with truth.

@[member="Anwen Talith"]​

 

[Anara Valnor]

His touch upon her leg caused her to glance downward for only a moment, but otherwise she didn't seem phased by the contact nor the fact that they still sat so close. Instead she was focused upon what he had said, their proximity meaning nothing in that moment. Sven, her brother, was the only other person she had met that was similar to her in his origins. However, now she could add Cronos to that list.

Her heart fluttered and her excitement rolled off her in waves as she sat forward just a bit. "Really?" She'd never met a clone before and her curiosity got the better of her as she reached out, her fingertips lightly touching his face as she traced his features. Her eyes followed the movement of her hand as her mind raced. Was he like the man he was cloned from? Or was he a person all his own simply with a borrowed face? Finally her hand dropped away from his face and back to her lap as she sat back once more, a smile still upon her lips.

"No. My father used his DNA and that of my mother's to create me. He..."


Her words had been rushing forth, but suddenly she stopped as the knowledge of her existence sat heavy upon her heart. She could not hate her father as she was incapable of the emotion, but despite his reasons for bringing her into the world she found it hard to stop loving him as well. Is it because of how he made me? Frowning she sat back farther until she was also leaning back upon her hands. Her bright eyes looked to the sky once more as she wrestled with herself before finally meeting Cronos' eyes again.

"I can't touch the Darkside. Moridin altered my brain chemistry so that I am incapable of feeling the emotions necessary to access the Darkside."

Any blush that had stained her cheeks was put to shame as her cheeks darkened considerably. Her words had come out in a rush as she revealed a cold truth about herself that no one except her family was aware of. The fact that she was engineered to be so pure was embarrassing and in truth it made her feel as though she were broken; there was so much in the world she could never understand thanks to her father.

@[member="Cronos Aegir"]

 

[Qhorin Solas]

She lifted her hands to my face, fingertips following its contours, ghosting over my jaw and cheeks, then down to my chin and up to my forehead. It was the strangest feeling to be inspected in such a way, but so too did it seem natural, just as natural as wind and rain. I had often done so myself, wondering about the man I was borne of, whose life I lived in hazy dreams and shadowy nightmares.

She smiled very easily, I realized; another one graced her face, real this time, turning up the corners of her eyes. She explained that she wasn't a clone, that she'd been made with the combined DNA of this Moridin and a woman, truly making them her mother and father --

And then her smile fell as quickly as it had formed, twisting into a frown. She sat back and looked to the sky, seemingly locked in some sort of inner debate. I allowed her her silence to work through whatever it was that had darkened her thoughts.

"I can't touch the Darkside," she confessed in a rush, looking me in the eye. "Moridin altered my brain chemistry so that I am incapable of feeling the emotions necessary to access the Darkside."​

​

Her cheeks were as red as I'd ever seen them, darkened to a deep rouge. She seemed to be ashamed of the manner of her creation, and I considered exactly what that meant, to be unable to feel anger, or hatred, or fear. My thoughts churned as the rapids of a river, and silence reigned. All that thinking heralded a single, irrefutable truth.

"You would make a great Jedi," I announced with feeling. "The Darkside is not such a boon that you should lament not knowing its touch..." I looked away, eyes darkening. "The Darkside corrupts. Perhaps slowly, perhaps not completely, but it corrupts. It twists. Corrodes. Poisons." I looked to the distance, to the trees on the other side of the park, and saw nothing; nothing but my own sins staring me in the face. "For all its power, the Darkside is vile. Evil." I knew its touch. Knew its power. "Your purity makes you unique. Special -- something to be cherished and celebrated. Jedi have struggled for eons to achieve such a state of being as what you naturally enjoy."

But some negative emotion was necessary, wasn't it? Fear could keep you safe. Righteous anger, when channeled correctly, sharpened purpose and focus. Hatred was never good. But in the end, "It comes down to a matter of perception." As it always did. Perception made the intangible tangible, and vise versa. "You could be a powerful force for good," I continued. I thought of the splintering Jedi Order, of the treacherous Sith Empire, of the dictatorial Fringe Lords and the chaotic Confederacy, all with different agendas, different ideals, different dogmas. "The universe could use some good."

@[member="Anwen Talith"]​

 

[Anara Valnor]

His encouraging words put her worries to rest, for the most part. Suddenly she sat forward once more, her hands resting in her lap. "Thanks..." She still regretted not being able to feel certain emotions simply because she felt it put her at a disadvantage. However, she trusted that Cronos spoke the truth. Leaning forward she placed a light kiss upon his cheek.

She was not formerly trained in any Force techniques, but she was learning. While her aura was blinding, his was darker, and as he had talked of the Darkside she had felt it get darker still. His mind had moved to a bleak place and while she couldn't see his eyes as he wasn't looking at her, she could clearly see the expression on his face. He is seeing something else...He isn't here anymore.

The kiss was a simple gesture, meant to lighten his mood and show her appreciation. Sitting back once more she only offered him a small smile as a comfortable silence settled between them.

@[member="Cronos Aegir"]

 

[Qhorin Solas]

She kissed my cheek, chaste and innocent, clearing the greying haze of my thoughts like sunlight piercing through a dark cloud. "Thank you," I said quietly, sitting back again to look once more upon the clouds above. I was surprised at my candidness, but also glad that I'd found someone to share some of my story with. Still, I hadn't shared all, but neither had she. Some things just had to remain secret.

"Have you ever given any thought to becoming a Jedi?" I had, once I'd realized what my dreams meant. I still did. A part of me would always be a Jedi. The other part...

The other part was something else entirely.

@[member="Anwen Talith"]​

 

[Anara Valnor]

Her eyes had returned to the sky above as well and were only pulled back to the Cronos when he spoke. For a moment she said nothing as her brow knit together in thought, her eyes roaming his features absently. "Not...really." In truth she hadn't given much thought to what she would do with the power gifted to her by her parentage. However, given her strong link to the Light it only made sense to become a Jedi.

"My mother was a great Jedi Master before I was...awoken. It makes sense for me to follow that path."

@[member="Cronos Aegir"]

 

[Qhorin Solas]

"You should. Anything else would be a waste of your potential."

I thought suddenly of the lightsaber sitting in the grass beside me, the sleek, silver duralumin hilt shining in the sunlight. I had never felt comfortable wielding its blue blade, not against the fire-spewing Force-adept on Gromas 16, and not against the infinitely more dangerous master I faced in the Shadowlands of Kashyyk. It was a Jedi's weapon, and I was not a Jedi. But Anwen?

I grabbed the lightsaber, and passed it to her. "My gift to you, for strengthening my faith in the Force. It should serve you well."

@[member="Anwen Talith"]​

 

[Anara Valnor]

Her eyes shone brighter than they ever had previously, her smile the same. Gently, as though afraid the silver cylinder would burn her, she took the lightsaber from Cronos. She wanted to question him, make sure he was certain of his decision, but found that the words simply would not come. She studied her new lightsaber for several long minutes, her smile never diminishing.

Once done doing her cursory inspection she set the silver cylinder aside then immediately launched herself into Cronos' chest. Small arms wrapped around his neck and she hugged him, her aura enveloping them as it thrummed with her happiness. "Cronos! Thank you!" Still smiling she planted yet another kiss upon his cheek, but this one held far more meaning than the last. After a moment she pulled away, though a hand still rested upon his chest as she brushed her bangs from her face.

@[member="Cronos Aegir"]

 

[Qhorin Solas]

I didn't expect her reaction to be so strong, just barely managing to keep my balance when she launched herself at me. I automatically returned her embrace, arms tight as I felt my own cheeks warm up from her second kiss in as many minutes, this one somehow heavier than the first, meaningful in a way I couldn't quite decipher. Her happiness was infectious and brought a beaming smile to my face, a barking laugh of delight slipping unexpectedly from my mouth.

"You're welcome," I returned, grinning down at her. "Go on, activate it. The color matches your eyes." I'd only just noticed the resemblance as I stared into them, watching the way the sunlight danced in their azure depths. The lightsaber was meant for her, I realized.

Our meeting could be nothing else but he will of the Force.

@[member="Anwen Talith"]​

 

[Anara Valnor]

Finally Anwen pulled away completely, sliding to the side so that she now sat beside him instead of across from him. Shoulder to shoulder with him, she extended the hand holding her new saber and her thumb slid across the activation button. As soon as the blade sprang to life a chill raced up her spine and her eyes slid closed; a sense of awe washed over her and she sighed. After a moment she opened her eyes once more and gazed at the brilliant blue blade, its light reflected in her eyes.

For a time she simply stared at the blade, slowly getting to her feet as a sense of purpose washed over her. "I know what to do..." The Force filled her and her aura shone brighter than the sun as brilliant green flames erupted from her palm once more. The flames danced about the hand holding her saber, then wrapped around her wrisst. As the flames danced about her wrist it also traveled up the hilt of her saber, but the metal did not heat up and was undamaged. The flames moved farther upward and her aura spiked higher as the flames collided with the blade which caused the blade to sing. The tune was strange and yet it was perfect, but it lasted only a moment as the green flames wrapped around the blue blade.

Smiling Anwen spun the blade a little and she laughed, turning her bright eyes upon Cronos once more. She had no formal training with weapons of any kind, but the saber felt like it was an extension of her arm already.

@[member="Cronos Aegir"]

 

[Qhorin Solas]

She stood with the saber in her hand, and I watched, mesmerized, as the emerald flames returned -- they rolled up her hand to the hilt and curled around the superheated plasma, emitting a strange resonance, beautifully unique and undoubtedly Anwen. Her soft laugh was a music unto itself, like a thousand tinkling bells, and as she twirled the saber my cheeks stretched wider and wider, smile growing to encompass my whole face. I laughed again, riding the waves of her delight. Her presence in the Force had seared itself into my mind, bright and warm and happy -- I could find her anywhere, I thought to myself, if I focused on that feeling. Anywhere.

"I can teach you how to wield it," I announced, looking up at her. With her standing and me sitting, she was still short, and that only made me laugh more. "I would need to retrieve a few items first, however... another lightsaber, for one, amongst other things..."

@[member="Anwen Talith"]​

 

[Anara Valnor]

"Really?"

It was likely that if she smiled any wider or if her eyes sparkled brighter that her entire body may well burst into flames. Looking back to her lightsaber she extinguished the blade and as the blade vanished, so to did the flames. Never before had she been able to control her flames in such a manner, but Cronos' gift had seemingly unlocked something within her. Smiling she rolled the saber from hand to hand before returning to her spot in the grass beside Cronos.

"I'd love that..."

Their shoulders were touching once more and she playfully nudged him, still beaming as brightly as before. "Cronos I..." She paused suddenly and just looked at him, then with soft exhalation she placed a head upon his shoulder in a friendly manner allowing her eyes to close. "I'm glad we met." Instead of pulling away she remained with her head upon his shoulder, a soft smile upon her lips.

@[member="Cronos Aegir"]

 

[Qhorin Solas]

Overcome with a lighthearted happiness, I nudged her back, even as I was perplexed by the swell of warmth I felt at the sight of her smile. I was struck again by how unique she was, one-of-a-kind amongst trillions, and how lucky I was to have found her, perhaps one of a handful of individuals who understood me without explanation, understood what it meant to be created, instead of born.

​

She sighed and rested her head on my shoulder. "I'm glad we met."​

​

I looked to the sun, its orange glow darkening to red as it drifted ever lower in the sky, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, more relaxed and comfortable than I could ever remember being. I took in a long, deep breath, imprinting this exact moment in my memory, smells, sounds, sights and all. Whenever I felt burdened by doubts, whenever things looked bleak, I would remember this moment, where I sat beneath fading clouds and wakening stars beside a true angel.

"So am I."

FIN.​

@[member="Anwen Talith"]​