Private Royal Pain

[Alicio Organa]

<How would you know that? You’re not a Jedi. A Jedi’s life is sacrifice.>

Alicio opened his mouth to respond, then closed it again. There was nothing he could say to that. He was trying to tell the Jedi how to be a Jedi. Trying to keep Kai from sacrificing himself, when Alicio sacrificed himself for the greater good all the time.

Kai's continued thought caused Alicio to narrow his eyes in thought, then snap them wide at the reveal that the padawan was Sithspawn. Alicio's racing mind tripped at the realization.

He was thankful, then, for a brief interruption, to gather his thoughts once more.

The Jedi he'd learned was named Zoar stepped into the room, and excused himself just as soon. Alicio simply blinked a couple of times, so shocked by the twists of the past few seconds, that he couldn't even respond as the droid-like padawan left the room.

"Well," he said, after a moment. "I suppose we know that works now."

"You were Sithspawn?" Alicio's mouth drew a thin line. He'd heard the term once before. But as always, he sought understanding. "So that's... the tool. Right?"

- Kai Bamarri -

 

[Kai Bamarri]

On the other side of the doors was Zoar, who promptly panicked at the sight of them and ran away. Despite the seriousness of the conversation, Kai couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

<I like Zoar. He’s funny.>

Then awkwardness descended as he realized what he’d done. He had just admitted what he was—or rather, what he had been—to a guy he’d only just met. Well, it wasn’t his fault Alicio was so easy to confide in…

Naturally, he had questions. <Yup,> was Kai’s brief, embarrassed first answer, followed by a softer and more subdued, <Yeah.>

<A Sith destroyed my original body and forced me to become something of his own creation. A Jedi rescued me and brought me to the Temple hoping I could be “cured”. It didn’t work, so I enrolled as a student here and hid what I was as best I could for the next few years. Some of the other Jedi found out and tried to kill me a few times, so I had to deal with that. Not to mention all the other problems that come with being a spawn of the Dark Side. When I saw an opportunity for a change… I took it. Now here I am.>

<And now I want my tool back. I want to be able to fly around the city again. I want to heal people with my tears and create lightsaber crystals from them. I want to change how I look whenever I want, and regenerate lost limbs, and lift heavy things, and reach great heights, and have a fighting chance without even needing to use the Force. I miss being the Doppelganger now more than I ever hated it—and believe me, I hated it. Now I'm nostalgic, I guess. Funny how that works, huh?>

Alicio Organa​

 

[Alicio Organa]

Alicio's frown continued as Kai explained his history. It wasn't a frown of disapproval, per se. More like deep thought. Delving so low, he couldn't help but look deeply troubled. Even if he was more contemplative, than anything.

The Alderaanian senator pondered in the middle of the room a moment more, before traveling to the edge of the room, and sitting down with his back to the wall. He paused a moment, then patted the ground at his side, as if asking Kai to join him. His own little bit of acceptance. He wouldn't hold Kai's past against him. Nor would he hold his future accountable, either.

"That sounds... difficult. Really difficult. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Being forced into a form that people hate. That hurt people." He inferred from previous context clues that Kai may not have been entirely in control. "But I understand why you would want it back. And it's your choice, who you want to be."

"I..." Alicio frowned again. Don't make this about yourself, Organa. "I want the same thing you do, in a way. All this training, my appointment to the Senate, I'm trying to gain more power, to help more people. So I get it." Alicio narrowed his eyes. "But there has to be a way to do it that takes care of you, too."

"I don't suppose there's such thing as a Jedispawn." The Count smirked at the crass turn of phrase. "Do you think there might be a process that can give you your former powers, while not corrupting you?"

- Kai Bamarri -

 

[Kai Bamarri]

When Alicio started to walk away, Kai thought he had royally screwed up. But the senator merely went to the edge of the room and sat down with his back against the wall, then patted the floor beside him.

Kai was a little reluctant to accept the invitation, but eventually he went over and sat down, hugging his knees to his chest. This felt a little like the moment in a holo drama where two friends, having spilled their guts, would share a drink or a cig or something similar.

But Alicio offered none of that, and probably wasn’t a fan of either anyway. The obligatory “that’s rough, buddy” line did come next, though.

"...And it's your choice, who you want to be."

<Everybody keeps telling me that. I hate it. Please, give me your honest opinion. What do you really think? Do the cons outweigh the pros, or the pros outweigh the cons?> Granted, Alicio was operating with limited information—but even Kai’s closest friends had fed him that same freaking line, hiding their feelings and opinions from him like they were afraid of what would happen if they did speak up.

He listened to Alicio’s proposal, one corner of his mouth curling up in a lopsided smile at the made-up word Jedispawn. <I mean, that would be based and all, but the whole idea of spawn is against Jedi teachings. We’re not supposed to mess around with nature that way.>

Pausing, he thought about it some more. A memory sprang to mind of a desperate duel in a cave.

<A Sith once tried to turn my dog Sophie against me. She’s a Sithspawn too. Well, she’s more of a wolf than a dog, actually, but she acts just like a big goofy dog most of the time. Anyway, the Sith used the Dark Side to try and activate her predator instincts, and to stop it I… did something that negated it? I don’t quite know how to describe it—it was like I found my own inner Light. For one brief, shining moment, I was allowed to believe that corruption was a spiritual quality, not something that tainted your DNA. But then it almost killed both of us, and I’ve never been able to replicate it since.>

Alicio Organa​

 

[Alicio Organa]

<Everybody keeps telling me that. I hate it. Please, give me your honest opinion. What do you really think? Do the cons outweigh the pros, or the pros outweigh the cons?>

Alicio cracked an unintentional, sympathetic smile. "If that's what you want... Well, on first impressions, I would say that there are plenty of regularly-spawned Jedi that do just fine without leaning on Sith alchemy. But I don't know all the pros and cons like you do. I'd bet that's why people keep telling you that. Because they trust you to make an informed decision. Ultimately, no one can do that for you but you."

The Count nodded in agreement. "Yeah, 'based' is a good word for it, I suppose." Alicio shrugged, rolling Introspect's blue and black gem between his fingers, appreciating the weight. "But I doubt it's impossible. The Force can imbue things with strength, it's what I did to my crystal. And I've heard that some Jedi can make plants explode with growth. That's messing around with nature, if I've ever heard it."

"It makes sense that there might be some kind of... Light-side alchemy, just waiting to be discovered. If it hasn't been already." It was certainly something to research, at least.

Kai's story about Sophie only cemented Alicio's theory in his mind. "But you did find an inner Light. Which means, theoretically, it had to be there in the first place. The Light Side, existing in a Sithspawn."

"I don't know, Kai. I'm spitballing here. But I just want to make sure you go over all your options before having to choose between yourself and others."

- Kai Bamarri -

 

[Kai Bamarri]

Alicio was right. Plenty of Jedi got along just fine despite not being Sithspawn. But they had never experienced it for themselves, and didn’t know what they were missing.

<That’s imbuement, which is different,> Kai said, pointing to the crystal in Alicio’s hand. <Alchemy is when you modify something living. Something with a consciousness, a spark of life. Part of the reason why it’s condemned by the Jedi is because it’s almost always unethical. And making a plant grow faster is different from changing its DNA, turning it into something else entirely.>

He smirked. <Also, natural crystals are better than synthetic. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.> He held up his. <See? Mine has three colors, yours only has two.>

After bullying Alicio over his lightsaber crystal, Kai mulled over the senator’s interpretation of events. He stuck out his lower lip in a thoughtful pout.

<Maybe it just makes me unique. Maybe the Bamarri in me can be one thing, while my body is another.>

Retrieving his lightsaber, he dismantled it and replaced the crystal inside. <And maybe choosing is the only way.> When the hilt was completed, he turned the finished weapon over in his hands, then cupped it between both hands and raised it to his lips. The reverent kiss was clearly ritualistic, an adapted form of some ancient Chaldean custom.

<Sorry for unloading all this personal stuff on you. You just came here to train, and here I am spilling my guts.>

Alicio Organa​

 

[Alicio Organa]

Alicio nodded acceptingly as Kai explained the subtle, yet complicated differences in the Force. He wasn't an expert in the subject, after all. Just a dreamer with too much optimism.

<Also, natural crystals are better than synthetic. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.> He held up his. <See? Mine has three colors, yours only has two.>

"It isn't about the colors," he responded, laughing a little. "I made this crystal. All on my own, using soil from the homeworlds of refugees I've helped. I... well, I poured my soul into it. That means more to me than finding a rock in a cave somewhere." He gazed at Introspect's crystal for a moment more, regarding it's royal blue edges and bruised black center, before replacing it into it's hilt.

Kai's continuation made his choice abundantly clear. Alicio didn't try to hide his displeasure, nor his muted resignation. The Count couldn't convince the Jedi that he was enough in one chance lightsaber sparring match.

"I don't mind," Alicio said, standing up. In fact, he felt honored to have been trusted with so much, so quickly. "Whenever you need someone to talk to, my door is open. I mean that." He nodded once. "And of course, you still need to convince me to be a Jedi, one of these days."

"I think I'm going to find a solo room. Maybe, when I get to your level, we can duel again."

The Count motioned to leave, before turning around with a grin.

"Do you have a favorite kind of tea? I'll make sure it's in stock."

- Kai Bamarri -

 

[Kai Bamarri]

<Hey, I didn’t find mine in a cave somewhere. I got it from Bamarre—it’s a shard of the same hunk of Chaldean marble that gave birth to me.> He nudged Alicio’s ribs with his elbow a bit. <Sure, you personalized yours and made it unique to you. Wow, very nice. And I’m willing to bet your crystal will only ever work for you. It has no legacy. Its power will die with you.>

Kai noticed that Alicio wasn’t happy about his decision. <Are you afraid of having to choose?> he asked. He’d been wondering why the senator seemed to take an almost personal interest in the matter.

At least Alicio didn’t mind talking about it. Kai was grateful he hadn’t been rambling at a brick wall this whole time. He grinned mischievously. <Okay good, okay fine.>

He stood up to leave, offering up a fist for Alicio to bump. <I’m not that crazy about tea, but if you can find the fun stuff, like those flowering tea bulb things that unfurl when you pour water on them, I can at least be entertained by that.>

Alicio Organa​

 

[Alicio Organa]

Alicio considered Kai's statement about what they left behind, giving it fair time to breathe, before answering with a calm certainty. "That's fine. I don't want this blade to be my legacy."

The perceptive padawan's next question, however, broke through his calm, revealing, for but a moment, a little guilt. Alicio gave it a similar beat of thought. "I... I've already made my choice." And if given the chance to change, he'd make the same choice over and over again. But he couldn't help but wonder...

If he were as single-mindedly selfless as Kai was, as he once was, would he be a better statesman? Do more good in a galaxy that desperately needs it?

That was the kind of question that would never leave him.

But for today, he would push it far from his mind.

"Blooming tea?" Alicio found a smile again, offering an extended fist to be bumped. "I've never had it, but I'm sure I could put something together."

"Be well, Kai." With small steps, the Count exited the room. He really needed to work on his guard.

- Kai Bamarri -