When the Jedi knelt down to check the the condition of the Sith she would find herself looking at the armored shell of a woman, the outside exterior that was for most all they would ever gaze at, and all they would ever know. This was the image that the Sith wanted everyone to see, the image that she wanted to be. Powerful and formidable, to have anything that made her weak to the guile manipulations, or attachments that had existed to hurt her in the past. But this shell was like all shells, a hollow case to hold within a vulnerable weak object which was the prison of her mind, the scars of her body, and all the pain she had carried with her with each and every enduring step. The Jedi was now doing something very risky, trying to crack the shell, to pierce the defenses that both it's subject and this outsider were protected by, and to risk seeing the gooey viscous yolk that would pour out.
When the Jedi grabbed the helmet, years upon years of emotional associations, brooding and hateful self destructive meditations would now begin to flow to her as the collective aftershock would begin to manifest and move her in a fit of psychometry. She might feel her vision haze her body begin to ache, and her mind sudden feel an intrusion of thoughts and memories shoot into her mind, suddenly the world of Ryloth disappeared as she was now overcome by a black void where collective images would hazily come to form.
Eyes shot open and now arms would begin to wiggle and move only to find them constricted to a chair, synthetic rope and cord used to bind her to the chair. An elevated heartbeat was racing, the rope's sickly appalling taste in her mouth as she looked around what was once the host of the best vacation she had to a new unknown hell and in front of her was a man. Someone who's mind conjured up associations and words of comfort, advice, safety and a wisdom that she let guide her every action after he entered her life. Someone who would do her wrong.
But why was he smiling? Why had his face contorted from it's usual caring expression to a grin of pure malice? Questions kept building and building and building demanding answers... Answers she wished she never heard as she heard her life unravel in front of her terrified eyes. Someone who was the sun of her world was now mocking her, telling her that their relationship was a farce, every word didn't matter, every expression of love just a thing to keep her hooked on him like a drug. And with it there was one sentence that stuck out to the Corellian's mind that would occasionally whisper into the recesses of her mind when she was alone. One that came after a gagged cry.
"Mmhhhyyphm?!" (Why)
"Simple really! I have a type, everyone does really. Some lust after Echani, or Zeltrons, some search for a dom, some search for a younger or older partner. That's not what I search for, really it's not your looks or any of that that has drawn me to you. You're rather boring and average in that regard. No I go a little deeper. See underneath all of that in that little piece of gray matter that plucks away that's where I find my type. He explained so trivially it was like someone describing what pet they preferred.
"See what you are is simple. You're a slut. Not the normal kind you think of when I say that, no no no no. I'm not that shallow. See you're damaged goods, still haven't figured out where you got your damage, but it radiates off of you. You are desperate, you think you're nothing and you tried to pass yourself off like that. You're secretly looking for someone to validate you and whisper all those lovely lies of how special you are, and how I understand you, how much you matter. Such massive lies, yet you eat it up like the glutton you are, and you practically wrapped yourself around my finger without me having to do a thing. It was fun! However the fun dies off sweetheart, after a while I tire of the parasite I let leech off of me for comfort and I must move on. You outlasted your welcome dear..."
Everything died away from the vision only to be absorbed by the sheer pain it brought. Then with it suddenly the pain of her heart being crushed and mangled by the strings she let tie around herself were replaced by something new. The void was now replaced by a brilliant burning orange as the entire room was engulfed in flame, skin raged away, nerves calling out in their singing death throes and an instinct took over. Thoughts disappeared, there was only one thing driving her. Survive. Underneath this there was something flowing inside her. White hot, something that caused her head to feel like a spike was being driven up to the core of brain from her spine. It empowered her as body now forced her self up, pieces of synthetic material now emitting a putrid smell as they weaken and burned in the flame and weakened their hold on the broken woman. She managed to get and without a thought her feet propelled her as slammed through an old fashion glass window. Shards cut her and the brilliant fire contrasting it's heat with searing cold. There was an impact, and then a blur until she found herself drowning in an icy darkness. The haze continued until faintly the body washed up on shore, eyes meekly closing barely registering a black boot stepping down near her.
Sakadi's view of the vision would recede into blackness briefly until she it slammed back into position in the form of someone walking down a hall in a Sith temple. At the end of the great chamber was a masked Sith in robes waiting for her. The body was now clasped in obsidian colored armor, sans for her head which remain exposed. Sensations of pain were constant in her body. Nerves that were constantly jammed on, joints that found themselves lacking cartilage causing them to grind against each other. Each step was a new nightmare. Yet it felt right, it felt good. Walking up to the robed Sith she could almost feel the smile underneath his mask, as Skylar introduced herself to the master and bowed. taking a meditative kneeling position in front of him. Red crimson came to life from his lightsaber. The blade brought over Skylar's head.
"You came before us a shattered husk, your body was weak, pathetic. Yet you had the power within to refuse your fate. To control the force rather then let it guide you to your death. You continue to refuse even now. You could have eased that pain within you, but you let it fester, you let it enhance your connection to the dark side. Even as overseers noted how you managed to defeat apprentices and knights who didn't have to fight with your limitations." The Sith would then move his saber down to over her left shoulder, crimson plasma burning away next to her ear. The Sith would then move it towards her head in what would be a decapitating move, though the darkside would call out from her and force the blade to push up and go over her head instead before falling to hover over her other shoulder. A pleased nod came from the sith as he extinguished his blade.
"Rise Knight Targrin" With that call the kneeling Sith apprentice would rise a knight. The robed Sith would extend out a helmet. The new knight grabbed it and would put the helmet on as a sealing hiss would emanate. The Sith looked back.
"Skyler died back on Carlac. I am now Amur."
A blink would whisk the temple away. Now it fixated on something different. The
industrial world of Chad. A woman was tending to her elbow, as she could feel it cry out in pain as the bones briefly had had dislodged from the joint. Looking at the woman words came up in association. Kind, sweet, innocent, intriguing. Curiosity brimming until suddenly a piercing question was asked.
"Why are you in so much pain? I can see it, all of it. There's ways to fix it."
Amur would answer telling Kalanda she had
"...Fell in love with a lie...". Her mind was now fixating back to being burned on Carlac, even as the Witch tried to be a beacon for her. Still the pain and shame just wrapped around her like binding wire. Ensnaring her with an anger that was demanding to lash out. A moment of concern suddenly came out for the fate of the witch and with that she uttered something like a plea.
"I'm not sure it's safe for you to be near me right now. You should go..." Though with it came a promise to watch over her if she came back into Sith territory.
The memory faded away as the industrial haze and yellow atmosphere disappeared and was replaced by a
turbo lift. A screaming beast had grabbed onto her and one of it's claws deep within her side before tossing her like it was nothing. The witch from the earlier vision was back, and had briefly repelled. The witch was now trying her best to care for her, but a heavy fear was now laced into the Sith's head. The fear of dying, and the fear she wouldn't be able to tell the witch how she truly felt. Memories of them being together floating in her mind before seeing a Star Weird coming down to try and Slice Kalanda's throat. The dying Sith quickly raised her arm and sent a current of lightning that killed it. Her limb dropping to the ground. Her vision was blurring and fading but she still there was a need to tell her atleast one final set of words in case it was to be her last.
"I... love you..."
The vision seemed to begin to welter and die off, as the turbo lift faded and now there was nothing but the dark to encapsulate the Jedi forced along this ride of memories. Then she could hear something. Whispers. They were faint, indistinguishable, yet the Jedi could perhaps register a feeling of guilt begin to manifest in her by proxy. The whispers, were the machinations of Amur's mind, a live retelling of what played in her head at the worst moment of her entire life. They grew louder and louder. Quick fervent whispers that trudged along in a manic song.
Look at all she does for you. you like you're little willing slave? How are you going to hurt her now. That's all you do ever do. You're nothing, you're just a sack of flesh that leeches off others like a parasite. It be easier for her if you were just dead. But you can't bear to hurt her do you? Yet you cause it anyways!
LOOK AT WHAT SHE DID TO HERSELF
THIS WAS DONE FOR YOU
The whisper turned into
SCREAMS, THAT RIPPED INTO THE FLESH OF AMUR'S MIND, HANDS TUGGING AND RIPPING AND CLAWING AT HER HEAD TEARING IT APART BIT BY BIT AND THEN JABBING A KNIFE INTO WHAT REMAINED. HER ENTIRE BODY FEELING LIKE IT WAS BEING RAKED OVER WITH SAND THAT TORE AWAY AT HER, AS IT FELT LIKE THE HANDS WERE RIDING UP HER BODY BEFORE CLASPING AROUND HER NECK.
She was in a
medical bay looking at the concerned eyes of her love as, caring more about Amur then she was about her own self as Amur's eyes remained permanently fixated on her arm. A blackened husk with a green substance that occasionally leaked, similar to the Ichor of Dathomir. Thoughts kept raging of Kalanda shooting fire out of her hands even as it burned and tormented her love. The chorus was now one giant cacophony of noise that wouldn't stop as she desperately wished to just retreat, to disappear from the universe and make everything just stop. The pain was overwhelming and then she felt it.
She felt her throat get pressed on and her windpipe get clasped shut. Breath eluded her as the voices screamed at her and overwhelmed her mind. The Sith struggled for air and nearly tried to cry out for air before she finally managed to dispel the Force away from her neck. Oxygen came flowing in as silently the revelation had hit her. She had just force choked herself.
The Sith was broken, shame over how useless she was now eating away at her. She couldn't do anything right. She was just a burden, just a parasite. She couldn't do anything. She wanted to be strong, to try and ease the pain inside Kala as she watched this unfold but she couldn't. She couldn't be the one to smile and lie. With it came the two most painful words she ever spoke in her life. After muttering these words she would turn and walk away like the coward she truly was.
"I'm sorry"
The vision would recede. Sakadi would find now she was back on Ryloth, touching a shattered helmet again. The Sith still passed out and at her mercy. What she would decide to do with this new found snap shot of the Sith's life was up to her. Atleast it was over.
Sakadi Marathi Sinvala