Private Scars

[Iris Arani]

Weightless. Falling. Darkness. Pain. Fear. Anger. Despair.

Domxite.

Iris sat up all at once, panic filling her heart. Then, pain. The Padawan reached up to grip the side of her head, where everything burned. Only, she couldn't move her arm. A cast? She blinked, trying to focus on it. No, she couldn't. No depth? Unknowing of what that meant more panic filled her heart, her mind. She tried to stand, but more of her body had been bandaged, immobilized. What was happening? Where was Domxite? The armored helm of Thalia Senn flashed in her mind.

And she remembered. She'd been thrown. Domxite had been taken. Panic turned to despair as she stared at her lap. She couldn't save her friend. Tears welled. What was the point of any of her training, if she couldn't protect those closest to her?

Valery Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

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Location: Hospital​

Valery: Appearance​

Tag: Iris Arani ​

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When Valery heard about what happened to her Padawan, and that she was moved to a hospital, she had dropped everything to go and find her. The vacation she had hoped to pick up after the Cato Neimoidia crisis no longer mattered, her own training and recovery from the fight were now secondary concerns — she had to find her Padawan. ​

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Through the bond she shared with her Padawans, Valery could feel Iris' pain. The bond may not be nearly as strong as her dyad with Kahlil, but the pain the young girl was experiencing was so strong that she still felt it deep within her heart. It was a kind of agony that followed after going through great loss. It was something Valery was all too familiar with herself.​

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Arriving at the hospital not soon later, Valery had to do everything in her power not to snap against the people working there. The process of getting access to Iris' room took minutes, while she wanted to rush up there and be there for the young girl.​

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But when she finally was given the clearance, she made her way up and stepped into the room. Her eyes settled on the girl and slowly, she began to walk over.​

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"Iris, I'm so glad you're safe." Valery fought back tears herself and moved over to the bed to pull Iris into a gentle embrace. One that in some ways felt similar to when they hugged after Iris' rescue.​

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"What happened?" She finally asked as she pulled back to look at Iris' face.​

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[Iris Arani]

Iris was on the verge of a full blown panic attack as Valery Noble stepped into the room. Her breathing picked up. Her eyes widened. She just stared at her lap, at her hands. One still bandaged, the other seemingly okay. She was alone. Domxite was gone. The calming influence of her friend kept her.. Well. Calm. Always calm. Without them.. The one oddly colored eye that was visible blinked rapidly as Valery entered the room, already overflowing with tears.

She said nothing, just stared at her Master. Then broke down in her arms with heavy, sorrowful sobs.

 

[Valery Noble]

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Location: Hospital​

Valery: Appearance​

Tag: Iris Arani ​

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"It's okay. I'm here for you."

Valery's voice was soft and soothing while she held the girl in her arms. Looking at her Padawan, she noted the various injuries as well but it was easy to understand that those weren't the real problem. Her pain ran deeper and was far more emotional in nature. Slowly but surely, Valery puzzled it together. The presence that had always kept her calm and been with her in the best and worst moments was no longer there.​

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She blinked and briefly tightened the hug to show she understood.​

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"I know how much it hurts," Valery said softly.​

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"But do not give up hope for your friend. Now more than ever, they need you to remain hopeful."​

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[Iris Arani]

"I don't.. They're gone.. She took them! I couldn't.. It hurts. It all hurts!" Her body, her mind. Her heart. Iris was in full on sobs, crying into Valery Noble 's chest. The one hand that could move gripped her shoulder, clinging to her. Her voice stopped working. She was too worked up, too broken. So she did the only other thing she knew how to do. She needed to tell someone everything.

<They took Domxite! She just, clipped them on her waist! And threw me!> The images flashed. The moment of weightlessness. The fall. The impact and pain it brought. But she didn't stop there. <I'm so tired. I'm always getting hurt! I lost my finger because someone wanted to incite refugees to war! I got shot, twice! Pirates, slavers, criminals! I- I hate them! I hate what they did to me! They burn, every day they burn. It's so much easier to hide in the colors, but then Kai said I shouldn't! Using the Force as a crutch is wrong, but why? Why!?> She didn't dare lift her face from where she'd hidden it.

<I love him! I told him I love him and he just.. I know he's not like me. He's not.. He said he might not be able to love me. But then he tried! And I.. I got angry! I lectured him for trying. And now he doesn't even like me! Domxite was kidnapped. Kai hates me. I keep loosing my friends. My best friends! I can't even save them when they need me. Can't even be a good friend when they need me to be. I can't even help Briana! She won't talk to me. She thinks I'm weird. I am weird, but I listen! I listen when it matters! She doesn't trust me!>

<I don't even know what I want to be. I dunno what kind of Jedi I want to be. I don't know what kind of life I want. I don't even know if I get what it means to love someone and I already fucked that up! All I keep doing is getting hurt. I stopped getting lost in the colors, and everything hurts! I just, I want to go back! I don't want to think anymore! I don't want to worry about people, or care, or get hurt. I want it to stop!>

 

[Valery Noble]

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Location: Hospital​

Valery: Appearance​

Tag: Iris Arani ​

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Valery's hand rested on the back of Iris' head, as she held the girl tightly against her chest. Her Padawan had never been someone to talk a lot, but so much had happened recently, and finally, it was all coming out at once. A wave of emotions struck Valery as a telepathic bond formed, and she just listened while she held Iris close.​

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For however long it took to let it out, Valery would remain quiet.​

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<I just, I want to go back! I don't want to think anymore! I don't want to worry about people, or care, or get hurt. I want it to stop!>​

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"But that isn't who you are, Iris," Valery said softly, her voice soothing and clear. "From the moment we met, you've always been there to help others even if nobody was there to help you. It's in your nature to show compassion, and to be kind. But life, especially that of a Jedi, is not always kind in return."​

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"It may be easy and comfortable to hide in the colors, to let nothing enter your own world, but there is so much out there worth opening up for. To make friends, to discover and experience love — they are examples of what makes life worth living. But loss, failure, and pain are part of life as well that we can't avoid."​

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Valery was quiet for a moment. She knew what it was like to lose friends and to lose someone you love. Her time in stasis had meant losing everything, and even before that her life had largely been shaped by those around her who she'd never see again. But she had made a new life for herself, and Iris could as well.​

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"They all shape us in different ways, but nothing should ever stop us from pursuing a good life. One where we don't become like the demons that hurt us, and one where we protect others against them."

Valery pulled back slightly and brought a hand up to Iris' cheek to wipe away a few tears, but also to look her Padawan in the eyes.​

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"Iris, don't give up on who you are, and don't give up on those you feel you've lost. It's when we no longer have hope in ourselves and those around us that we truly lose everything." Valery said with a tone that made it clear she knew exactly how that felt. She had lived through it all herself.​

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[Iris Arani]

It was Iris's turn to listen. She sniffled and cried, but it was quieter now. Letting everything out just made her feel tired. Exhausted. Her eye was puffy and red, still hidden in her embrace with Valery Noble . When the Master pulled back, she met her gaze. The one visible eye just full of hurt. Sadness. That exhaustion. "I want my friends back.." Her voice was hoarse, strained. As tired as she felt.

Her gaze lowered, as did her hand from where it'd been gripping Valery's tunic.

<I don't know what to do, how to fix any of it. .. How to fix me..>

 

[Valery Noble]

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Location: Hospital​

Valery: Appearance​

Tag: Iris Arani ​

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The corners of Valery's lips gently pulled up into a comforting and understanding smile. She knew her Padawan's heart was in the right place, and it never failed to show. Even when she struggled, her deep care for her friends was there. The only thing truly holding her back was the doubt she held in herself and her ability to get through this.​

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But that's what Valery was for.​

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"Well, let's take it one step at a time — together." She stressed as she shifted over so they were sitting beside each other. She pulled the girl against her side and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "First, I want you to focus on getting patched up. You can only help your friends if you're first able to stand on your own feet."​

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"Then, we'll do whatever we can to get Domxite back. I can already begin investigating, and I'm going to help you be ready to get your friend back. Briana Sal-Soren will be there for you, too. She's always going to be a friend. In fact, she's on her way here right now." she said with a soft smile.​

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"You're never going to stand alone and as long as you don't give up on your friends, they can find their way back to you." Valery said before pausing briefly, "This includes Kai as well. He might need some space and love might be difficult, as it can't be forced. But even if you two had an argument or bad fight, true friends will never turn their backs on you."​

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[Briana Sal-Soren]

Themes: XoXo
Tag: Iris Arani , Valery Noble

While distractions of late had kept Briana occupied, when the message from Valery came through, there was no hesitation on her part to answer. Concern of Iris' condition had left her anxiously pacing for days once the rescue teams had located the mangled body of her friend, following the crisis on Cato. Afterwards, it was all about playing the waiting game, looking for any little sign that she'd become lucid again.

Rolling from the sea of mussed blankets that Briana found herself in, abandoning the warmth of her bedfellow, the young Padawan dressed quickly to make her away across the temples expanse and to the medbay.

Iris was there through some of the hardest moments of her life... how could she not possibly be there for Iris when she needed her? It was a silent vow she'd made, to never again live with the shame and regret of abandoning those who needed her when push came to shove.

When the door of the medbay opened, Briana's face and hair looked wind-swept. Then she saw her, sitting up... alive. That was all that mattered. Iris was alive.

Without hesitation, without faltering, the young woman ripped through the space that separated them at near-inhuman speeds and fell to the younger girls side, pulling Iris into an embrace, tears draining upon her head.

"I'm so glad you're finally awake," she sniffed, burring her glossy chestnut head against Iris' evening-black locks, hoping the tight embrace would convey just how much she cared and how scared she'd truly been to lose someone she considered near and dear to her heart. "I feared the worst."

 

[Iris Arani]

"...In fact, she's on her way here right now."

Wait, what?

"No. No no no. She can't. She'll.. I know her. She.." She'll freak out. After what happened with Justice and how he'd lost his arm, Iris could already see Briana Sal-Soren blaming herself for what happened, even though she had no hand in Iris's ill fated duel. She knew her friend. She didn't want her here, seeing her so broken and injured. The last thing she wanted was to see was guilt.

But, then she was there. Iris stopped babbling, just staring at her friend with her one good eye. Then she was being held again. She blinked, and Briana was there. More tears welled in her eyes as she turned into the hug, her one good arm reaching up to hold her fellow Padawan close. Tight.

"I.. I'm okay.."

 

[Valery Noble]

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Location: Hospital​

Valery: Appearance​

Tag: Iris Arani Briana Sal-Soren ​

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Valery smiled at Iris and eased up on the hug she had kept Iris in during their conversation. As much as she wanted to keep her Padawan close, she also needed space to recover and be comfortable, "It's going to be okay. Don't worr-" She blinked as the door opened and another woman stepped inside. Seeing Briana and feeling the woman's emotions, Valery shifted away from Iris a little and gave the two some space for their embrace.​

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"It's good to see you here, Briana," Valery said after the two had a moment.​

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"Iris is going to be okay, but she's going to need our help." Valery looked between the two, hoping to get their attention even if it was for only a moment.​

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"I know that during my pregnancy, I wasn't able to be there as much for you both. The injury on Ossus didn't help much either and well..." she paused and frowned a moment, thinking about how much she wanted to open up about. "I've not had an easy time recovering. But you two are very important to me, and together we're going to get out on top. No matter what obstacles we face."​

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"Neither of you are ever alone in your struggles." ​

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[Briana Sal-Soren]

Themes: XoXo
Tag: Valery Noble , Iris Arani

A shower of warmth erupted in Briana's core the moment Iris reciprocated the hug.

"I'm okay,"

A deeply concerned Briana wondered on those words and how quick Iris was to brush aside her own pain, but had some small idea of the difficulties Iris was facing. Pulling back from the embrace, she smoothed down Iris' hair and wiped her eyes, rosebud lips pulling into a small smile. "Yeah, you are." As if only now becoming aware that Valery was in the same room, Briana laughed incredulously, embarrassed that her bottled up emotions had broken free so easily while continuing to wipe the back of her hand across her damp face as she listened.

There was something so comforting when the three of them were together, a connection that existed between them. Looking between Valery and Iris, a deep calm settled into the atmosphere, the galaxy set right. They were not the family she was born with, but they'd become family none the less.

Each of them had endured more than any one person ever should, and Briana could not agree with Valeries sentiments more. With the Force as her witness, none of them would ever have to face whatever happened going forward, alone. Not ever. She would be their bulwark.

"All that matters now is Iris healing, and when we work together, we can accomplish anything. I know we'll figure it all out."

 

[Iris Arani]

Iris just.. Nodded. She wasn't sure if she agreed with what Valery Noble and Briana Sal-Soren were saying. How could she? Her gaze lowered to her bandaged arm. How long would it take for her to heal? How long would Domxite be in the hands of the woman who threw her off the train. As determined as the other two were, Iris couldn't help but feel defeated. Especially with how determined they were.

There was no pretending what happened didn't. Moving on wasn't something she could just do.