Sea Glass (Complete)

[Kuzo]

A Z U R E

It had stormed for nearly the last three weeks without reprieve. Irajah had grown accustomed to the sound of rain pounding against her window and the slight shifts in the floating installation as the tides and currents moved it across the endless waters. While it could be anchored, for security reasons they had been allowed to drift- without knowing where to look, finding them on the vast oceans of Azure would be nearly impossible.

It was a small comfort.

Jolted out of sleep in the small hours before dawn, she sat up at the edge of the bed and rubbed her temples in some combination of pain and annoyance. The nightmares, with [member="Carach"]'s help, were improving, but they weren't gone yet. She paused, her hands freezing on her face for a moment. Something was different. Something was wrong. It sent a jolt through her as she scanned the small suite.

It wasn't until her eyes alit on the window that she realized what it was. Standing up, she padded slowly across the room. Her left hand came up, pressing lightly against the cool glass. Peering upward, she sighed, letting out a certain tension that she'd been holding since she had come to Azure.

The storm had stopped.

And she could see the stars.

*****

It didn't take long to dress and slip on shoes. She moved through the installation like a wraith. At this time of the night, there were few about, and those few she did run across were content with a small nod at most. Irajah palmed a particular door open, slipping in and letting it close behind her with a quiet purr.

The curved ceiling of the observatory allowed the night sky in. She didn't turn on a light, that would defeat the purpose, instead settling into one of the lounges and tilting her head up. A million pin pricks of light filled the view instead of the black clouds of the last few weeks.

Irajah curled up, eventually drifting back to sleep, lulled by the slight rocking of the installation and the clearing of the skies.

*****

She woke up feeling better than she had in long time. A little stiff from the last few hours sleeping somewhere she wasn't supposed to, but otherwise well rested for all that. It was still too early for breakfast, but she started drifting in that direction after a few minutes admiring the blue of the sky above her. No grey clouds and endless rain today. She knew it couldn't last, but that was alright.

Stretching as the Observation room's doors swooshed closed behind her, she started heading toward the dining room anyway. A sound down one of the side halls piqued her attention though. She frowned, a flash of worry flickering across her face. Fighting.

It wasn't until she confirmed the sound was coming from the gym that she relaxed at all. Pausing in the doorway, she peered inside.

"Oh."

 

[Jairus Starvald]

[member="Irajah Ven"]

The body and mind were closely entwined.

Train one, but ignore the other and both suffered in the end. This was an inherent truth that the Sith Lord followed since the day his step had graced the Galaxy. Start every day with exercises and end it with them, this was the key to a healthy body - well, it and a good, clean living.

His focus laid on the esoteric, of course.

Never would he be a master of physical combat... not in the way the Echani were anyway. But that wasn't necessary, not to have a simple edge in combat and to feel good.

Around him were three Thyrsians arrayed in a triangle. Their approach from three sides at once- his eyes were closed, but the Sith could see them lit up in the darkness of his mind. One of them lashed out with a leg aimed high and in response Carach went to his knee, the foot missing him only just so. The other two saw it as their chance - fists, high and low. High fist was blocked, low fist was taken to the gut and a grunt escaped him.

Without missing a beat Carach swiped the offender off his feet and was about to knock him unconscious with his heel... when her presence swept into the room.

"Stop." And all three Thyrsians halted in their tracks. His hand gestured. They got up to their feet, bowed and stepped back to wait by the walls of the gym.

"Doctor. I see you are up on your feet?"

I will be honest with you, the dark lord whispered once they left Maena behind, I am not a good man. I don't love you and doubt I ever will. But I like you... and I see your potential. Accept my help and I will make you strong... refuse and you are on your own.

I will make myself strong... but I'd like your help doing it.

 

[Kuzo]

The very last thing Irajah had wanted in those moments had been any profession of emotions. The blunt honesty had been what mattered- and the curt nod after her response. The look in his eye had changed every so slightly at it, though she hadn't tried to interpert it in that moment. There was too much else, oppresive and weighing. But, just maybe, it had been a touch of respect.

She watched openly as the four men moved in a dance. Head tilted slightly to the side, she had no problem admiring either the physicals forms or the prowess displayed, though that was as far as it went.

Too much.

Irajah nodded, stepping into the room only once the sparring match had clearly paused. Her intention had not been to interrupt, but now that it had stopped she had no trouble entering the gym. She glanced around, hazel eyes flickering to the equipment around the room before back to @Carach.

"The storm stopped," she answered, as if that explained everything.

In a way though, it did. After all, she was talking about more than the actual weather.

For the last few weeks, she had rarely left the suite assigned to her, other than for meals and late night wandering. He had come every day and they had worked to reveal, layer by layer, so many of the things that had occurred in the last year. Some things were easy to come to grips with, once she saw them clearly.

Others had been harder to shake off.

Anger, fear, guilt, a hundred emotions shattered and spread across a mental landscape. She had traversed it, yes. But he had helped her navigate. There would still be hidden depths, kilometers to go. That journey might never end.

She didn't need to say that she was ready for the next steps. The fact that she was here now said that on it's own.

"I never want to be that weak again."

The first time she'd said it, she hadn't known just how weak she still was. Not physically, but in her position. In the people she had trusted. She didn't understand just how far she had to go then. She still had so far to go.

But at least now she knew it.

"Where do we start?"

 

[Jairus Starvald]

[member="Irajah Ven"]

"Body and mind, Doctor, body and mind." The retort came, before he turned his back to her and towards his waiting duelist partners, one nod from him and they filed out of the room. Ven wasn't ready yet for all three of them, she probably wasn't even ready for one of them or for him, but they needed to start somewhere... so somewhere they would go.

"For your mind to heal, your body needs to become strong. It cannot be a crutch. Finely honed, durable and balanced to precision, that is the way we go forward."

Topaz eyes looked over at her prosthetics.

She wasn't cradling them anymore and neither did she seemed particularly embarrassed by them either. This was good. It was some measure of physical progress in the face of their mental work - only another line underneath his point that both were equally important in the days and weeks and months to come.

"I am not a kind teacher." Carach finally warned. "I will be pushing you to your limits in the time to come. It will not be a pleasant experience in the slightest."

This was basically his way to give her one last chance to get out.

After this there were no take-backs or exits.

 

[Kuzo]

Irajah stepped to the side, allowing them to file out without impeding their progress, but her attention was on @Carach.

"Well, that's good, because I'm not interested in kindness."

The tone in her voice, the expression on her face, bordered on a snarl. After sifting through her memories with [member="Matsu Xiangu"], he would understand the visceral reaction to that statement. Kindness was the mask that had hidden so much of the wrongness that had bubbled just beneath the surface of her experiences of the last months. Her jaw clenched slightly, fingers curling into fists.

"I've never been physically strong. It never interested me when pursuits of the mind were available. Art. Medicine."

She looked down at her left arm, the one that was hers in truth. Rolling up the sleeve, she looked at the bruises there.

"And once Gideon came, I learned that my body could betray me in ways I never thought possible before."

Irajah looked up at him again, her face set and determined.

"I don't know what it can do. But I've let myself use it as an excuse long enough. I'm ready."

 

[Jairus Starvald]

[member="Irajah Ven"]

Now it was amusement coloring his expression, but he did not joke.

Because it was amusement born out of fledgling respect. Few individuals could rise above the torment this one had been through and still be somewhat capable of becoming... well... capable. The moment he laid his eyes on her on Maena, he had feared her lost and incapable of becoming a Sith. You needed a strong foundation, but when all you had were shards of your previous self?

Difficult, very difficult.

But Ven had surprised him in these past few weeks. There was anger, even the hints of hatred bubbling up from beneath the thin veneer of psuedo-fragility, all strong emotions that could be used.

If they didn't use her instead.

"We will see." The Sith Lord commented without taking one position or the other. "Your routine changes as of now - every morning and every night you train with me, I will be expecting your arrival to be punctual and without delay. No matter how exhausted you are from the previous day. The rest of the day will be spend on your mind, restoring it and healing it, until it is ready to receive the knowledge I will impart on you."

A fragile mind could not handle the ancient mysteries of the Sith.

They would break it as soon as he tried, make her mind their slave and turn her into... yet another mindless beast of violence and stupidity.

 

[Kuzo]

It was impossible to miss the amusement on his face, and she frowned ever so slightly. Otherwise, however, she didn't comment on it. This interaction was such night and day from when they had met on Dosuun. Had it really only been a month ago? It felt like a lifetime to Irajah.

This was better, however. This was what she needed, not the other.

In truth, Irajah didn't care about being a Sith. Not in this moment. She was merely unwilling to allow even a single shred of ability to pass through her hands untouched. Not any more.She had ignored her abilities for long enough, and it had cost her more than she ever could have dreamed. If she had learned, the first chance she'd had.... no, there was no reason to dwell on that. No way of knowing it anything would have been different. Guilt at past actions that were not truly her fault, or that could not be foreseen had been the scaffolding so much had been built on, and she deliberately, almost violently, rejected that thought. The anger that understanding had brought roiled there, just beneath the surface.

As of now-

Not this evening, not tomorrow. And she took him at his word. While she may not have dressed specifically with this in mind, her clothes were loose and comfortable, easily adapted to activity. She stepped up onto the mat, though she didn't not expect to spar him immediately- that would likely come in time. She understood just how weak she was. There was no illusion there, no false sense of pride in her abilities. She moved better now, accepting her cybernetics, but she was small with no experience.

She nodded, the expression on her face grim but determined.

"I won't let you down," she said, her tone matching her expression. Under those words however was a far more important set.

And I won't let myself down.

Impressing him was not her foremost concern. She wasn't entirely certain if that was even possible, and frankly, didn't care over much at this time. She didn't know what the end of this road looked like, or if it even had an end. But if every day she was better than the day before?
​She could work with that.

[member="Carach"]

 

[Jairus Starvald]

This was different than Dosuun.

Because [member="Irajah Ven"] did not require someone to swipe her off her feet now. She needed a Master, a stern one, one who would reach out and pull out the potential hiding inside of her. This wasn't the time for pleasure and neither did Carach particularly think that she was ready for pleasure either.

Perhaps at a later junction, when she had figured out her... everything, that would change.

Maybe.

"We will see." He simply repeated again, before pondering about her next move. "Alright, hit me."

Clearly Ven was taken aback by that command and wasn't inclined to actually do it. The Sith Lord sighed and walked up towards her, large frame, positively huge compared to her little form.

"I need to know what I am working with here. Hit me."

From there Carach could start formulating a way to train her without actually killing her doing it. She might feel he was killing her, but that was part of the job description. All that would be bad if she actually turned up dead. Waste of time, waste of resources and perhaps he even liked her a little bit.

 

[Kuzo]

When he first said it, she looked at him like he had three heads. When he repeated it, she chewed on her lower lip for a moment, then nodded.

Irajah wasn't a fighter. She was more of a 'duck and runner', truth be told. Sure, she'd slapped someone in a bar a handful of times in her life, but she was pretty sure that wasn't what he meant.

Due to the height difference, punching him in the torso seemed to be literally the only option. She didn't halfway it though, pulling back and giving it all that she had. It wasn't pretty. It wasn't particularly powerful. But it was surprisingly fast. It also wasn't timid or hesitant once she decided that he meant it. She really really wasn't concerned that she'd hurt him, after all.

Pow.

Ow.

"Karking maw!" she exclaimed, shaking her fist open as she looked up at [member="Carach"] . "What do you have in there? Bricks?"

 

[Jairus Starvald]

[member="Irajah Ven"]

Pow.

Carach blinked as the little lady started cursing and shaking her fist. This was probably not the moment to mention he literally had not felt that in any substantial way that would help her in battle. In truth, he should have expected this - she was small and after the crap she had been through... not as if she had been any stronger on Dosuun. But it did mean they had a long way to go.

"Durasteel plates." He retorted without a trace of irony or amusement. But Irajah knew him better than most after that long weekend. "We will work on your strength, but it won't ever be your focus point."

"Speed, mobility, balance, flexibility, those will be the things you will need to excel in to survive."

They started a warming-up next, get the blood and adrenaline going, following up with movements that strengthened her core and limbs. From there it was about her balance, learning to use her prosthetic like they were her regular limbs and beyond. In truth Carach could have just imprinted the knowledge inside of her and let her deal with it on her own.

But this wasn't just about training her, it was about fostering loyalty.

After quite some time the morning exercises were done. Both sweaty and even Carach was breathing a little bit heavier than usually.

"You did alright this morning."

 

[Kuzo]

Never in her life had Irajah exercised with this level of intent. Sure, before Gideon she was active, staying relatively fit just because it felt good to be so. But that, as in so much else about her life (with rare, particular exceptions) had been casual.

This was anything but.

She did her best, which, from her point of view, was distressingly inadequate. But she pushed, not giving up, even when all she wanted to do was lay down with her face on the mat. And she knew that this was only the beginning, the first steps. It would get harder in the coming days.

Bring it, she thought grimly.

Tomorrow morning she would very likely feel differently.

Irajah nodded at his comment. Alright. Adequate. It wasn't praise, simply acknowledgement and she accepted it for what it was. It didn't mean much, but she appreciated the thought at least.

Besides exhausted and out of breath (sore would come later, she was certain), she realized that, for the first time in weeks- she was famished.

"Breakfast then 'fresher," she paused. She wasn't asking his permission. "Where should I meet you after that?"

[member="Carach"]

 

[Jairus Starvald]

[member="Irajah Ven"]

"I haven't had any food yet myself." Carach stated as a matter of fact, before stretching himself a little bit. A stretch here, a stretch there, it was like the calculated movements of a large lion readying himself for an assault. There wasn't much motive behind it, of course, it only looked calculated. But Carach had been immersed in this persona for so long... that every single gesture or movement seemed to exert a certain sense of threat.

Just the way it was really.

"I will join you."

Just as she did not ask for permission for breakfast or showers, so did the Sith Lord not ask for permission to join her. It did not even come up in his mind that she would want some alone time.

Besides, she had been alone for long enough in between mind-healing sessions. After the ordeal Irajah has been through the last thing she needed was to be alone - it led to isolation and that only led to more suffering. There would be more than enough suffering for Ven in the following weeks and months.

He got a towel for himself and passed another one to Ven.

Then left the gym behind and started trundling over towards the cantina.

Carach seemed very relaxed now.

 

[Kuzo]

She toweled out her hair, patting her face as she fell into step with him. Unlike [member="Carach"] , Irajah wasn't particularly at ease. But, in fairness, she hadn't been once since he'd found her on Maena. But she was tired in a way she wasn't accustomed to, and that made some of the usual tension seep away.

Normally a bit of a chatter box, Raj was quiet as they walked to the cantina. If anyone was put off by the appearance of these two, disheveled and sweaty, they didn't comment. Which was probably just as well.

Her eyes skipped over the scant crowd- it seemed as though they had missed the main breakfast rush, but that was just fine as far as she was concerned. Picking a booth, she slid in across from him, settling the towel over her shoulders as she pulled up the holo of the menu. She scanned, tapping for a cup of caf and was about to pick her usual light breakfast when her stomach growled loud enough for her companion to hear it.

She grimaced, and picked something more substantial before tapping the menu closed again.

There was only a momentary awkwardness (on her end at least) before the caf arrived and she was fortunately given something to do with her hands. As she wrapped her fingers around the mug, she frowned slightly, brow furrowing. She was growing accustomed to the cybernetics, but she would never get used to the ever so subtle difference in the way warmth transferred. Pouring a truly immoderate amount of sugar into the mug, she stirred it absently.

"What's next, after this?" She finally asked, sitting back to look at him. This was new territory. There was no routine to fall back on. If she was a little blunt, well, perhaps it could be forgiven. She was uncomfortable, not knowing.

 

[Jairus Starvald]

[member="Irajah Ven"]

In contrast to Irajah there was no awkwardness nor embarrassment as Carach waited for his food to arrive.

She wouldn't have seen what he had ordered, until it was set on the table. All of it. Spread around three different plates filled to the brink with meat, eggs, vegetables and a whole lot of other foodstuffs that seemed to be more at home for a small family during the evening dinner than anything else. But here it was, steaming already and waiting to be consumed by the large Sith. Perhaps it should have been expected - you can't really have a frame like that without the need to keep it there with consumption of a whole metric ton of food.

"Next?" The Sith mumbled, while taking stock of his produce. He salted the eggs just a tinsy tiny bit and added some pepper to the meat, letting it grizzle as it started to cool off just a tinsy tiny bit.

"Refresher, like you said. We smell."

Obviously that wasn't what Irajah had meant and by the wicked glint in the look he shot her, she would know that he knew that very well. But the one mistake many individuals made when dealing with broken minds was treating them like equally broken people. Coddling them into complacence and making them feel like they were practically useless as a result.

No, Carach would not go that way.

He cut off a good portion of the steak, watching intently with the same predatory gaze that he had once watched her... weeks ago if not months.

But before the Sith took the bite, he grinned at her. "We will be working on your mental walls, make you less easy to manipulate mentally and the sort."

 

[Kuzo]

She watched in growing amusement as the table was literally covered in dishes. Her own omelet, full of cheese and meat and vegetables along with fruit on the side suddenly seemed hardly immoderate. Cutting with the side of her fork, she paused, first bite halfway to her mouth as he answered. She gave him a sour look before starting to eat, but otherwise didn't comment right away. She was hungry and tired.

About halfway through the plate in front of her she finally started to slow down. At a more reasonable temperature, the caf was tipped back for a long moment before she sighed.

Pausing here, she watched [member="Carach"] critically for a moment. The look in those hazel eyes was fathomless for a moment, but it wouldn't be that difficult for him to see deeper. Irajah had always been a bit of an open book. Considering. Weighing.

"What's in this for you?"

The question was as blunt as her tone of voice.

"This seems like an awful lot of effort on your part. So. Why?"

She hadn't asked him before- simply too grateful to be out of the situation to look too deeply into his motives. His off-handed comment of 'I like you,' seemed wholly inadequate however, for the lengths he was going through, the time he was committing to.

And she was rightfully suspicious of his motives, after everything that had happened.

 

[Jairus Starvald]

[member="Irajah Ven"]

Amusingly enough Carach was also halfway through his plates.

But considering the sheer denseness of the food stapled on top of it, it probably said more about his hunger and the speed of his eating than anything else. But that was par for course with the Sith Lord, he enjoyed the food, yes, but it was also part of what needed to be done. A long list of things to keep himself in a good state of being, which was infinitely more important when you dabbled with the Darkside of the Force. In truth he wondered if the most powerful Sith did not ooze away into corpses and the sort, because they just stopped eating and only fed themselves on the Darkside.

"Is it not obvious?" Carach said after a while - he first had to chew through a very juicy piece of steak and that kept his focus for a little while. It was important to properly chew your food... otherwise there were a host of issues you opened yourself to.

"You have potential. I am honing it into a tool to be used, until the time comes you can stand on your own feet and do not need me anymore."

That was a better deal than most Sith got.

Usually they were used and used and used until they were spend and thrown away. But Carach did not believe in such endeavors - what he believed was making someone strong, using that strength and then letting them stand on their own... because then you retained their loyalty as allies. Steadfast allies, who could actually be of more use when they had their own powerbases.

 

[Kuzo]

Irajah grimaced.

"A tool."

She put down her fork, slowly, leaning back against the seat and watching him. She made no attempt to hide the appraisal.

"A tool for me to use?" She paused, gaze sharping somewhat. "Or for you?"

There was silence for another moment as he chewed. It took all of her self control to keep watching him without fidgeting, without looking away. Finally he swallowed, those brilliant copper eyes on her.

"Both."

*****

Oddly enough, breakfast was less awkward (for Irajah at least) after that. That kind of honesty was refreshing, in it strange way. She knew where she stood, rather than having to unravel layer upon layer of manipulation. Sure, he was getting something out of this. But he was up front about it.

She hadn't dithered at the table when they were done. Confirming where they would meet again and at what time, then a nod and a murmur of thanks before she headed back to her quarters. There was enough time for a few moments to herself and that promised trip through the 'fresher, but not much more, so she didn't waste time. Those extra moments were taken beneath the hot water, her forehead against the tiles and her eyes closed.

*****

Short dark curls were still damp when she went to meet back up with him. Blue skies yawned beyond the dome of the observatory, but on the distant horizon, dark clouds gathered. Though the storm had passed in the night, there was always a promise of angry winds and driving rain.

The observatory was empty when she entered. She was early. Settling into one of the lounges (the one she had slept in the night before), she tilted her head up to watch the sky.

[member="Carach"]

 

[Jairus Starvald]

[member="Irajah Ven"]

Today wasn't a work day for him.

Ever since he had retired the Darell Irani persona things had slowed down for him. In the official story, Darell Irani had retired after many years of service - to Derellium and his large estates there. Iron Crown and all the other corporate assets were managed by a new CEO, who had succeeded Irani and rose up from the Boards of Directors. His shares were still owned by him, of course, because Darell Irani was not a man who let go easily.

It was all part of the persona.

At any rate, the Sith Lord decided to meditate in the observatory after a quick cold shower, before the actual session with Irajah. Just to collect his thoughts and center himself.

Completely immersed inside the White Current Carach was invisible from sight and most other mediums. But the moment a familiar weight settled itself down on his lap, his eyes blinked open.

"Eh." The Sith coughed. "Not that I mind you on my lap, but I am unsure this is the time or place."

She was still sitting on his lap.

Well then.

 

[Kuzo]

It took a moment to fully register what just happened. And then-

"And you can be invisible too? Maw drenched chit, is there anything you *can't* do?"

By the time she finished she was already standing up, brushing herself off and looking less flustered and more angry- with herself rather than him. She put her hands on her hips as she took a large step back.

"It still just looks like an empty chair," she muttered, her tone more than a little grumpy.

"I know you're there but even knowing that, I still can't see you. What, exactly, are you doing?"

​She crossed her arms over her chest, clearly agitated. The unexpected physical contact had thrown her, and she didn't like just how much it had done so. She knew that ever since that night she'd been different- flinchy, uncomfortable if she didn't see a touch coming.

As far as she was concerned, she had good reason to be.

[member="Carach"]

 

[Jairus Starvald]

[member="Irajah Ven"]

Slowly his figure faded back into existence.

It started with those eyes and grin, like a Cheshire cat, before the rest of the body followed suit. The answer was in his stance: legs crossed and hands cradling his knees. The man had been meditating, because the spirit and mind were as important for the functioning of yourself as your body.

"Meditating." The Sith Lord finally supplied, just to clarify it completely. "My apologies, once I am immersed I got the tendency to fade completely."

Part of the White Current.

Completely immersion within the little roils of the waves could detach your spirit and let it wander. The body disappeared and you were left with the incorporeal.

"Had a good shower?"