Sexuality in Writing/Roleplaying

[Nerd Wizard]

I've NEVER discussed sexuality in any way offline, now that I think of it... Just learned about it in school and did all my teen-era research online. I've probably destroyed my capacity for a normal relationship, in hindsight.

 

[Toni Nova]

Honestly, my view on sexuality in role play is it should flow with your character. I have Brent who fell for Ra and will not go without her or to any other, even if she moves on (yes he has been shelved for the time being, so tragic as that is). I have Mara who is a partying slut. For her that fits with her character believes that she is living in a simulation and that nothing matters. I have Zye Woden who has mated for life to a mere mortal, despite the fact that he is a vampire who is old enough to be her messiah. Then there is Toni, who frankly is gunsexual. I will let you think on that one for a moment.

Honestly, I think it should ultimately just follow with the Character's personality and that good writing dictates that their sexuality should not be their personality. To quote that wise show Big Mouth on Netflix, "Being gay and angry isn't a personality, sweetheart."

It is my personal opinion that if you describe your character in one sentence and it in anyway is a reference to their sexuality then you may want to re-think their character (e.g; "He's an asexual gunslinger" or "She is a lesbian Jedi" or "He is a lady killing smuggler."). I have nothing against gay, asexual, demisexual, etc people or characters. I am demisexual. I just think that people and characters are a lot more than who or what they have intercourse with.

That being said, if a character wants to have casual sex, go have casual sex. The long and short of it is I think just having fun should be the big point in what we do. If you want to write a hypersexualized macho man who flexes at every woman (I say that because that is what I see the most around here), do it. Just respect other writers in the process.

 

[Nerd Wizard]

It is my personal opinion that if you describe your character in one sentence and it in anyway is a reference to their sexuality then you may want to re-think their character (e.g; "He's an asexual gunslinger" or "She is a lesbian Jedi" or "He is a lady killing smuggler."). I have nothing against gay, asexual, demisexual, etc people or characters. I am demisexual. I just think that people and characters are a lot more than who or what they have intercourse with.

That being said, if a character wants to have casual sex, go have casual sex. The long and short of it is I think just having fun should be the big point in what we do. If you want to write a hypersexualized macho man who flexes at every woman (I say that because that is what I see the most around here), do it. Just respect other writers in the process.

I'm weird, for my part: I can WRITE the most graphic sex scenes you'll ever read, but I have so many moral qualms about sexuality IRL that I'm, as I've said before, a complete prude outside of the written word. I neither support nor persecute gays and bisexuals, and largely stay away from group identification in any way, shape or form (I'm an existentialist, after all), but I cannot safely, nor morally condone casual flings IRL and I've no desire for sex in any way nowadays, in stark contrast to my teen years, but I've no problem writing about sex in its many, deeply varied forms even to this day. I don't know what exactly that'd make me.

 

[Toni Nova]

[member="Last-Nerd-Bard"]

….. Human?

 

[Nerd Wizard]

[member="Toni Nova"]

I suppose... I still wish I was able to find some sort of technical term for such a strange... Outlook, as it were.

 

[Toni Nova]

[member="Last-Nerd-Bard"]

So you lead others to it, but you can't have it? Its RedSkullsexual. Its a new thing now.

Spoiler

 

[Nerd Wizard]

[member="Toni Nova"]

I also don't feel agony of being unable to have a relationship, for some reason. I'm just used to not fitting in, in the long run. So much willing exposure to porn over my teen years probably deadened my ability to even have a natural relationship, anyway. I'd be too irritable and sarcastic to live with, I think.

 

[Toni Nova]

[member="Last-Nerd-Bard"]

I don't want to deviate too far of topic or go into a zone that is less than ok for the board, but yeah that is a common concern. As I am continuing my degree in psychology a lot of notice is being given to porn and what it does to people's ability to relate to each other. IMO, there is not enough defined parameters or enough data on the subject to make a real conclusion yet or to make a concrete guarantee on those conclusions that are drawn.

 

[Nerd Wizard]

[member="Toni Nova"]

Understood, and I do hope the research turns up some interesting (and healing) results. The main reason I've gotten away from some of my old hobbies is because this one was always the safest one to rely on for healthy escapism. There's too much corruption everywhere else, and I'm tired of how society is getting more and more saturated by all of that sort of thing. It's just not healthy for people to put so much emphasis on it, at the expense of emotional bonds. I place such a huge emphasis on emotional beauty, moreso then others, in my writings. It's not healthy to lose all track of that stuff, as so many seem to be doing nowadays, if you'll forgive a slightly pessimistic outlook.

I wish you all the luck in getting your psychology degree.. I always loved that subject, myself. Very fascinating stuff, and fun to incorporate into the various heroic and villainous archetypes.

 

[Tathra Khaeus]

As far as I'm concerned - if you can't do it within the confines of PG -13. Then you're not just doing it for character reasons, not really. Especially when two people are involved.

If you need to describe the train going through the archway you're doing it for the wrong reasons imo. Like y'know, if its tasteful and tame. That's all you really need for dat mature character dev.

 

[Nerd Wizard]

[member="Tathra Khaeus"]

I agree, and it only goes so far as to say "<insert name here> was nude", and, after a few brief descriptions of non-explicit flesh and the general state of the character's body and mood at its most graphic, as that's all that's really needed. Descriptions of kisses, embraces and cuddling can be nice, or the two being in a state of undress together in a bed (again, without explicit details) can add to the feeling of intimacy for the characters, but I never let things go too far beyond that. It can be distasteful and detract from all other elements in the story, of course.

 

[Allya Vi'Dreya]

I think, there is a classy way to handle it. Sexuality is a big part of some people's characters. They use it to get what they want, or they flaunt it, or can't have it, or whatever have you. In my case, I play an underage girl, however, being a teenager means I have to be aware of what she finds attractive, or what her random emotional spikes will be like. It means it could come up, however, there are definite ways to keep it within the confines of the PG-13 rating.

If something happens, it doesn't need to be broadcast, or explicitly detailed. The fact that it happened, alone changes parts of the RP, when done in a correct manner. Things like guilt, or love, or rethinking life choices etc. You don't need to really detail it, to have it be a changing force, you know?

 

[gdsryrox]

I believe it can vary depending on the character, for some it is a core part of what makes them act the way they do, other times it is just a personal aspect that only comes into affect at a certain point. I do find it fun to have it put to use and write a good romance story, a few of my character have wound up in some interesting ones due to their personality and sexuality.

I've also had some experience were a character has questioned their sexuality when their personality makes them like someone maybe a bit more then they would and if another character starts something off to make them change. Over all it is a very different matter that can have very different meaning depending on the writer and character used with no 'real' it can be expressed.

 

[Nerd Wizard]

I believe it can vary depending on the character, for some it is a core part of what makes them act the way they do, other times it is just a personal aspect that only comes into affect at a certain point.

I've also had some experience were a character has questioned their sexuality when their personality makes them like someone maybe a bit more then they would and if another character starts something off to make them change. Over all it is a very different matter that can have very different meaning depending on the writer and character used with no 'real' it can be expressed.

Regarding the first part of the quote, I believe that, the more one places focus on sexuality as being the core, defining trait of a character, regardless of whether it be homosexual or heterosexual, that you're only reducing the overall characterization and storytelling potential. When a character's path becomes divorced from morality in any way, the genre of "myth" no longer can be said to apply to the narrative in question, and Star Wars was originally a myth. The "special-ness" of the universe won't be around much longer once morality and worldbuilding are no longer emphasized. I'm old-fashioned like that.

Regarding the second part of your quote, I believe that romance (and by extension, sexuality), are all derived from moral action (and therefore cannot be separated from it). To emotionally value another and come to care for their individual well-being is all expressed at its best on a moral level - the sexual aspects are the byproducts of the act of morally growing close to, protecting and caring for another sentient, even it its merely through conversation and advice, great bonds can nonetheless grow out of a succession of months or years of just conversation about the surrounding universe and philosophizing about its many, varied elements. The whole "questioning" of sexuality is all based on the opinions of one's peers and the essence of "rumors", cliques and the nature of gossip overall. However, as I'm an existentialist, my whole life has been about ignoring mass opinion from every age group, both my own, older ones and younger ones alike (why should others - be they adult or peer - define me when my own actions and choices can do that far better then anyone else could?), so my experience and outlooks are NOT common, I don't believe - I never have put emphasis on what my peers thought, for better or for worse.

I hope that all makes some sense. For me, that's how two of my OCs grew to care for one another over the course of the Galactic Civil War - time spent together on and off the battlefield, learning about the surrounding universe and engaging every-so-often in moral philosophizing in their down-time (an effective means of encouragement and an act of compassion) as a means to escape the horrors of the war.

 

[STaCLO]

To me, I'm rather apathetic I feel when it comes to the relationship between RP and ERP. I know this isn't the case for some folks, but if I were to prioritize one over the other I feel like I'd be doing the storytelling equivalent of shooting myself in the foot. Since the real world ain't PG-13, and doesn't pull punches I don't feel like I should either. But I'm not saying I'm gonna do something like break site rules and write smut, it's just that I don't care to shy away from the more adult aspects of storytelling. Also I tend to leave it up to whoever I'm writing with whether or not they care for things to get a R or higher rating. Like people say, consent is sexy. :lol:

As for the sexuality of characters it really depends. I've written characters more fluid feelings and high sex drives and character where it hardly ever crosses my radar. For example I'd say that Old STaCLO here probably hangs around the Asexual/Aromantic side of the spectrum. Even though I think a whole can of worms worth of material could be had if STaCLO had his programing tweaked a little to make him for affectionate.

Overall I'd say that so long as the story wasn't jeopardized then I don't care how people swing, whether it be their sexuality or sexual activity in RP. I hope at least some of what I said made since, this is just y two cents.

 

[Nerd Wizard]

To me, I'm rather apathetic I feel when it comes to the relationship between RP and ERP. I know this isn't the case for some folks, but if I were to prioritize one over the other I feel like I'd be doing the storytelling equivalent of shooting myself in the foot. Since the real world ain't PG-13, and doesn't pull punches I don't feel like I should either. But I'm not saying I'm gonna do something like break site rules and write smut, it's just that I don't care to shy away from the more adult aspects of storytelling. Also I tend to leave it up to whoever I'm writing with whether or not they care for things to get a R or higher rating. Like people say, consent is sexy. :lol:

Well said, Sir.