Shifting Sands

[Bethany Kismet]

Bethany sputtered, eyes flying wide a moment after the water jetted into her face. She coughed, some of the water having gone up her nose. Blinking furiously, droplets flying from her lashes, she stared at him in open surprise with water dripping down her face.

She burst out laughing at the expression of amusement on his face, an unfamiliar to him glint in her eyes.

Quick as a flash, she reached out, dumping the remainder of the bottle over his head. Without waiting for him to escalate, she jumped up, grin flashing as she went sprinting for the water. The sand slowed her down more than she expected it to.

When he caught up with her it wasn't really a surprise to either of them.

[member="Michael Sardun"]

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Bethany Kismet"]

Sardun blinked when the cold water was poured over his head and she jumped up, running away from him.

That daze - did she just? - didn't last very long. Perhaps it was the frigid cold water pouring down his neck and back or it was simply reflexes, but two seconds later he had pushed himself off the floor and started running after her. It was a game... his instincts told him and that meant that catching up with her immediately wasn't the idea.

He let her think she was outrunning him, before he took off in a sprint.

Right as they burst into the water did the Jedi catch up with Bethany. He managed to turn her around to face him and was about to do... something, but then his lips were hooked into hers, his arms pulling her in for an embrace.

Instincts.

They didn't stand a chance.

 

[Bethany Kismet]

She'd tried to dodge at the last minute, but the drag of the water on her calves slowed her down just enough. At least, that's what she told herself as she found herself grabbed and spun around. She was laughing, a touch breathless, and already trying to decide if she was going to dunk him in the waves or not as her palms went up to his chest-

And this his lips were on hers, his arms folded around her.

Everything around them froze. A muffled sound was lost against his kiss.

She surprised herself by kissing him back.

Her finger tips rested lightly on his skin, her mouth warm against his. She pulled back before he did, her cheeks flushed. She didn't step away immediately, but those emerald eyes searched his face for something.

"Um. Hi."

[member="Michael Sardun"]

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Bethany Kismet"]

What she found was an expression of joy followed by sudden horrid realization followed by embarrassment and then a hasty retreat back into stoicism.

Silence ruled the waves for a while as Sardun wrecked his mind trying to figure out what to respond. Not that she made it very easy for him - she had kissed him back, didn't push him away... that means something, doesn't it? But then her words filled him with confusion, um hi?

What did that mean?

"I. Uh. Hi. I... was concerned about the cursed water you ingested and wanted to be sure you weren't poisoned?" Oh, right, good going Sardun. Yeah.

She will totally buy that.

Inwardly the Jedi Master face-palmed himself.

But in that sense Sardun did not retreat back, didn't push her away, but stayed where he stood. Maybe that meant something as well.

 

[Bethany Kismet]

His response was as equally confusing to her as hers had been to him, and she tilted her head slightly, blinking up at him for a moment while she processed. She hadn't missed the horror or embaressment on his face- how could she? But she also hadn't missed the joy. And there now was the expression she was so much more accustomed to than any of the others, but she didn't really know what to do with it.

Or what she felt about it.

"Oh. Yes of course," she said, trying a little too hard to smile, as if they were still just joking around. "But you know, that could have just gotten you a dose of it too. Didn't think that one through, huh?"

The joke fell about as flat as his did and her face turned a deeper shade of red. It was fairly obvious that neither of them was thinking all that clearly right now. Of course, he hadn't let go of her.

And she still hadn't moved back.

"Wait, you had some before I did."

Whelp.

[member="Michael Sardun"]

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Bethany Kismet"]

Sardun could practically feel the moment slip away from him.

But the entire issue was that he didn't know what he wanted - the kiss had happened before he could get himself in line and at this point he still didn't quite know where the hell it had come from. For years he had always been a Jedi of the old guard, no attachments, no relationships, no nothing. That didn't mean there had never been infatuations, prior to his induction into the Order and during, but that wasn't the point.

"I think I should let you go now." An awkward echo of a few weeks ago when Sardun had pulled her out of the hole and... held her... white... by the Force. A few moments later he did actually let go.

Didn't step away though, let her do that instead.

"I am not good at this." Frankness was the way to go here... maybe? How the feth was he supposed to know. "I don't know why I kissed you, but I liked it and I hope... you did not mind it."

His eyes left hers and he looked back towards the jungle and the outskirts behind the beach, tracing their steps.

"I do not want this to get weird."

Probably would have been better to realize that before you attached your lips to hers.

He looked back at her and tried to figure out what she was thinking.

 

[Bethany Kismet]

She had forgotten what it felt like to be kissed.

Bethany nodded when he repeated words from weeks ago, but somehow wasn't surprised (or upset) when it took a few more heartbeats before he did. There was an equally long pause before she stepped back, letting the sea breeze move between them again. Cool where a moment ago it had been warm.

She appreciated his honesty. It wasn't easy, but it was better than the alternatives. At the very least, he deserved the same.

When he finally did look back down at her, she smiled, a touch ruefully.

"I didn't mind," she said softly. "I..... liked it too. But I also don't know how I feel about it. And- I think- that once we both do, we should talk about it. Once you know that why, then, well."

She reached out and squeezed his hand briefly.

"You can tell me then."

If it had just been about the kiss- about that physical moment- then there was nothing here that Bethany was even interested in looking at further. She had enjoyed the kiss, but not enough to repeat it without a shared affection. And she didn't know if that came from either of them yet. In over half a millennia, she had kissed two men, and only one of those with love. There was no comparison between the two, and she knew that there was no going back for her. If she was there, in a moment like that, it had to mean something.

She swallowed, stepping back again and dropping his hand.

"I don't want it to be weird either. Regardless of anything else, you're my friend. You've had my back since Sekot. And I wouldn't give that up for anything, Michael. So, how about we promise to be honest with each other? No games. Just us. Whatever that ends up meaning."

[member="Michael Sardun"]

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Bethany Kismet"]

His back straightened out and a smile started playing on his expression again.

It wasn't the same kind of smile he had worn right after the kiss, but it was one of careful comfort. Because this was the kind of language Sardun could understand. Not the embarrassing wishy-washy tone where they had no idea what there was going on. But just... clarity and frankness, being blunt to each other, because they trusted that both of them could handle it.

He squeezed back gently, before letting go of the hand and it retreated seconds later again.

"I will. I can't promise it will be soon or fast or... smooth, but once I figure things out, we will talk about it." Sardun promised softly, before nodding.

It was interesting how fast they had grown to each other. Friends. He never had many of those, a few very good ones, but as the years passed they faded away into the background... and he stayed behind.

Not that Michael blamed them for it - what he had experienced? He basically pushed them away after that.

"Honesty. I can handle that, yeah. Hmm, what is th-" The Jedi looked past her, implying there was something behind her. She looked back over her shoulder, confusion apparent.

"Michael, I don't-"

As Bethany looked back she got a splash full of salt water in her face, while sputtering, she would only see his back... retreating from her again.

 

[Bethany Kismet]

Through laughter and salt water, Bethany sputtered, yelling after him-

"You're a wretched man, [member="Michael Sardun"]!"

He ran into the waves, likely assuming that his greater strength would push him through where the smaller woman would struggle to keep up. And at first, it was a good tactic. Until the water reached her waist anyway.

Because then? Then Beth could swim.

Either he'd forgotten the waterfall, or he wanted her to catch up, it didn't really matter which. But once the water was deep enough Bethany dove beneath it. She had no problem opening her eyes up in the salt water and she closed the entire distance beneath the water far faster than she'd been running through it.

Waiting until just the right moment (mid step with one foot off the sea floor), she reached out, snatching his ankle and yanking it out from under him- sending the larger man falling face first into the water.

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Bethany Kismet"]

Sardun looked back over his shoulder and there was nothing but water there.

That made him furrow his brows, but before he could realize what was happening, his face was already hitting the water. Mouth forced open and water forcing itself into his nose, burning because it was all salt. He pushed himself up and out of the water again, water everywhere, salt everywhere, it wasn't pleasant and yet Michael couldn't help - through the coughing - but laugh at it all.

"Gorram Kismet!" He shouted while trying to locate her.

He cheated.

Because Michael was many things, but playing by the rules wasn't a chief quality of his. Not when it worked against him anyway. The Force flowed through him and eased the burning, increased his focus and made him locate Bethany far sooner.

He dove underwater and engaged the pursuit.

 

[Bethany Kismet]

Without the Force to help him, there was no doubt that in this single thing at least, Bethany was the better swimmer. Of course, since he cheated, he managed to close the gap quicker than she expected. She'd moved into deeper water as soon as she'd pulled his feet out from under him.

Turning around at the feeling of the water churning behind her, she flashed him a grin beneath the water. Long black hair floated around her face and she wiggled her fingers at him before shooting off again. The sand beneath them was so pale, reflecting cerulean light from the surface all around. Tiny fish darted, startled by these two intruders to their realm.

Swimming back toward the surface, she took a quick breath before diving again-

But the water churning beside her as [member="Michael Sardun"] caught up meant that the chase was over. She laughed, throwing her head back.

"You need more practice swimming," she said with a crooked grin as she shook the water out of her face. Then, she winked. "Since you couldn't catch me without cheating."

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Bethany Kismet"]

"Cheating?" Crooked grin and winks were met with mock incredulity and moral outrage. "Ma'am, you wound me."

Now it was his expression that was filled with the wicked twinkle of the eyes and a smile, not one of hard edges, but one that spoke of soft content that they managed to bypass an awkward situation and come out on top anyway. Perhaps a part of him had been afraid a few moments after what had happened, that it would create an insurmountable rift between the two of them.

But the Jedi Master should not have feared such.

"Slander, I say. But seeing as you are exhausted in your defeat? Let's return to the beach and have you rest."

In truth it was Michael who needed to rest a bit. This wasn't a battle after all and the surge of Force usage had left him a bit tired, it would pass soon if he managed to get his hands on one of the powerbars he had packed with him.

They broke past the waves and strutted back onto the beach in fast measure, where Sardun stretched a bit.

To ease the ache of the muscles and sort. Very important.

 

[Bethany Kismet]

Even as they left the water, Bethany was still chuckling and shaking her head. She didn't pause when he did, heading up the beach to the towels. With a slight grimace, she realized that the only towel she'd brought was kind of full of sand- no way she was drying off with that.

Ah well. It was a beautiful, warm day with a slight breeze, she'd be fine.

Fishing through her bag, she pulled out a fresh bottle of water and two pieces of fruit. She wasn't particularly hungry (she rarely seemed to be when she spent a lot of time outside), but figured she should have something anyway.

"Michael? I've got water and-" she paused, blinking down the beach for a moment.

It wasn't something she often noticed. But she wasn't blind. Handsome men just rarely impacted her in any real fashion. But then, she'd been in his arms, albeit briefly, not long ago, and she took a moment and a considering look. Then she shook her head, chuckling at herself now.

"Water and fruit," she called out a moment later. She held up both. "Do you want some?"

[member="Michael Sardun"]

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Bethany Kismet"]

The stretch did not take up much time, which is why Sardun loved doing it.

It gave a pleasant feeling, helped the muscles relax and ensured that after expending a lot of energy, that the chance of tearing or burning out was minimized. Of course, the Jedi probably could have simply burned the Force a bit and eased his muscles that way, but what was the point of that?

No, sometimes you simply needed to use your body as it was given to you, instead of using shortcuts everywhere.

"You've seen me eat breakfast, what do you think?" Sardun called back, before trundling over to her. The water had already almost evaporated under the scrutiny of the heating sun. Quite a pleasant day all in all... awkward situations aside, but for the time being it had seemed to evaporate just as the water.

Maybe being open and honest to each other helped.

He took a piece of fruit, nodded his thanks and then settled himself down on the towel. The sand did not seem to bother him all that much.

"So, how's the training going with your padawans? Malok and... I think there was a new girl?"

 

[Bethany Kismet]

She finished chewing a bite before answering.

"[member="Malok"] and [member="Lethia Morow"], yes."

Gazing out over the water, her face drew thoughtful. For a moment, the half eaten fruit was forgotten in her hand.

"They both have gifts. They also both have a darkness in them. Malok's is more obvious, but he is working so very hard, and finding.... a peace here.... that I don't think he expected to find. Lethia's is.... harder to pin down."

Bethany leaned back, glancing over at Michael.

"They both have so much to offer, to themselves and to the galaxy. But they need to know that they can trust themselves.... and that we will trust them in turn. I have faith that Malok will make the right choices. Lethia concerns me a little bit though. Her darkness.... mirrors. I'm glad she came to Monastery when she did. Hopefully she'll find the foundation here she needs."

Tilting her head slightly, she smiled at him.

"What about you? Have you considered taking on a student? Or are your Journeymen enough for you?"

[member="Michael Sardun"]

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Bethany Kismet"]

Sardun had his doubts with both students.

Malok more than Morow. There was a cunning within Malok that reminded him of the Sith and part of him would always be suspicious of that kind of working. Bethany was aware of his reservations, but it ended there. She had been firm about her commitment to them and Michael saw no immediate threats that would make him act. Maybe that would change at a later stage or maybe Malok would prove himself trustworthy.

Morow... Morrow's fascination with the darkness concerned him as well, but she was more prey than predator. If they were able to keep her away from trouble, she would presumably be fine.

Big if.

"The Journeymen is all that I will allow myself." She knew a portion of his past now, his fall and the soft crawl back towards a segment of the Lightside.

The Journeymen were grown men and women, already fully realized within the Force and philosophy. All that Michael taught them was how to work together as a group, how to weed out the darkness and how to recognize it in the first place. How to stay vigil and staunch in the face of the shadows that waited.

A padawan was far more... intimate than that and the Jedi did not trust himself capable of being the foundation necessary.

"They are enough of a handful anyway. Have they been behaving well?"

 

[Bethany Kismet]

She'd gotten a little lost in thought and his last question caught her not fully paying attention.

"Hmm? Who? Your Journeymen? They've been very well behaved- I know I had reservations at first, but they have been the epitome of-"

She stopped rolling her eyes up to the sky when she caught the expression on his face.

"Oh, you mean Malok and Lethia. Yes, of course they have been."

Bethany shook her head, chuckling at herself for a moment. Finishing the fruit in two more bites, she chewed and swallowed, handing him the water bottle before laying back slowly. Crossing her arms behind her head, her eyes moved across the sky, following a bare wisp of cloud as it scuttled across the blue.

"With rare exception," like the droid parked on her couch, "everyone who has come to Sanctuary has been nothing but wonderful."

Her lips turned down in the barest trace of a frown.

"How long do you think we have?" She asked quietly. "Until that's shattered?"

[member="Michael Sardun"]

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Bethany Kismet"]

The bottle was accepted and he wet his mouth a bit, a welcome taste after the fruity sourness flooding his taste buds.

After that the Jedi Master laid down next to her.

It was peaceful as she answered his question. In the distance, far up in the sky, he could see the clouds flowing past. Most of them were nonsense, just ambiguous forms that had no apparent meaning. But some reminded him of things, like the head of a bantha, the wings of a Thirriken, one moment Sardun could even recognize the shape of a turtle inside of it all.

The question she posed... it sobered his outlook plenty.

In the end Bethany was the optimist of the two of them. Where her experiences had left her stronger and more certain, his... had left him shaken and pragmatic about what the Galaxy had to offer.

"Does it matter?" He responded with a question to a question. "The moment we started to make true change in the Galaxy, the moment we started to involve ourselves in the affairs of others to help them or shield them..."

A shrug.

"We can either be sheltered from the dangers of the Galaxy or we can make a difference for the Galaxy. There is no middle ground in my experience."

 

[Bethany Kismet]

"I know and I agree," she said softly.

She knew, all too well, just what putting themselves out there meant. The risk- and the cost. She'd paid it, time and time again without flinching. And that wouldn't change now. But how many of the others who had come full of hope and determination actually understood the risk they were signing up for? She had done her best to explain it without deliberately trying to frighten anyone away..... but could most of them truly understand?

In a past life, Bethany had sacrificed everything to bring light to the galaxy. Not once, but over and over again until she had made the ultimate choice and gave her life for the cause she believed in.

And it was a decision she would make, gladly, again if it came down to that.

But she also knew that she wouldn't recommend the path she'd chosen to walk to anyone else.

"I just worry."

It was a simple statement, but all of the weight of her thoughts pressed heavy upon it.

"Your job here is harder than mine," she said, chuckling slightly and turning her head to look over at him.

"You watch all of us running headlong into danger. But I suspect you wouldn't be running in yourself anymore if it wasn't for us."

[member="Michael Sardun"]

 

[Hira Mitsae]

[member="Bethany Kismet"]

Brows furrowed in thought as she said that.

Made him wonder what she saw when she looked at him.

Michael looked away, in that moment not wanting to look her in the eye as he tried to stop the flood of memories washing in. Would he still have fought if not for Sekot's pull and his meeting with Bethany? Would he still have stood between the good people and those who wished to hurt him?

Would he have continued to walk away?

Difficult. Difficult question and in that moment Sardun didn't like how clouded his heart was, how difficult it was to see through the heart of things and get a simple answer from himself.

"Maybe not." The Jedi finally said, just as the silence started to drag along.

"Maybe I would have jumped in, face-first into the first fight that stirred my blood without you balancing me."

A shrug followed.

"Who knows?"