Private Snow Blind

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons: Blaster Pistol
Tag: Valery Noble Kahlil Noble

"Well, technically I'd be sleeping on the way to pick up Briana, if that makes you feel any better..."

Yeah, Valery was annoyed. Hardly the first time Gatz had done that to her. He'd been about to speak up to answer Vera's question, but Kahlil beat him to the punch. Which was well enough, because his own answer wouldn't have been as illuminating. But Valery and Kahlil didn't understand: it wasn't about punishing himself. It was about being realistic. It was about managing expectations.

It was about reminding himself of what he'd done, so he wouldn't do it again.

"It's not about being worthy, or moving on." Gatz turned to the man, his voice soft just in case the children might overhear, "I've hurt a lot of people. I can't forget that. I can't forgive myself for that. Those sins will haunt me until I'm dead and buried."

Which would probably be pretty soon, all things considered. Kragan's hunters had been less persistent lately, probably because he'd killed so many, but eventually one of them would outsmart him, or outfight him. Even Smuggler's Luck ran out eventually.

"I'm not looking for redemption. I don't believe in it. I'm just trying to do better. But to do that, I have to remind myself of when I was worse."

 

[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Tag: Kahlil Noble Gatz Derrevar

"It does not!" Valery called out from the kitchen before she returned to handling the dishes. She was definitely annoyed now, so separating herself for a moment was probably a good idea. Especially with Vera picking up on it too - she didn't want things to get weird for the kids. Kahlil understood that too, and got the entire group to head into the kitchen with their mom, so they could was their hands.

All except for Aris, of course.

Once they had cleaned up their messy hands, they ran off and Valery was left to listen in to the conversation between her husband and Gatz. It sparked even more frustration, and after a moment, she stopped washing dishes and listened. She wanted to step through the doorframe to tell him how she felt.

But for now, she'd let her husband speak. Maybe he needed to hear it from someone else for once.

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"That's your choice, I suppose."

Kahlil wasn't going to try to convince him otherwise. It was the bed he made, and the bed he was determined to lay in. Instead, Kahlil walked past Valery, patted her shoulder as he went by to go find the kids and make sure they were all prepared for bed.

Valery Noble | Gatz Derrevar

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons: Blaster Pistol
Tag: Valery Noble Kahlil Noble

Well, Valery wasn't going to be pleased with him unless he agreed to stay.

At least Kahlil wasn't going to try and push him into anything. Gatz clearly hadn't convinced the man that the way he viewed himself was the correct way, but then, why wouldn't Kahlil believe in redemption? Smuggler, Sith Lord, and now a Jedi Master and a family man? His whole life story should have been proof to Gatz that it was possible to claw one's way out of depravity.

But Gatz wasn't Kahlil. Redemption just wasn't in him. He couldn't undo the damage he'd done. He didn't have enough time left. There were too many loose ends in his life, and most of them had blasters and a desire to claim the bounty tag that practically hung from his ear.

But that didn't mean he couldn't do better before death caught up with him. It wouldn't be enough, but it was something.

As Kahlil walked past his wife to prepare the children for bed, Gatz followed. He stopped next to Valery, grabbing a hand towel from the counter, and held his hand out for the plate she was washing so that he could towel it off and place it on the drying rack.

 

[Valery Noble]

Home

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Tag: Kahlil Noble Gatz Derrevar

Valery turned her gaze to Gatz as he joined her in the kitchen. She hesitated for a moment to offer him a plate, because she didn't like having guests helping out with chores. But in this case, she relented and offered him the clean plates and silverware to be dried.

"So, heading out after we're done here?" Valery asked while they worked on dishes.

"How does Briana feel about it?" She doubted that she'd support this decision if she knew the context, but she wanted to see if Gatz had shared that with her as well.

Meanwhile, Kahlil walked into the triplet's bedroom, and all three were already in PJ's, and sitting in bed to be tucked in. Vera was there too - she had helped them get settled and kept them busy until either Mom and Dad came over.

Preferably both, but even the little ones had a feeling they were not getting a kiss from Mom before falling asleep.

"Can I stay up later, dad?" Vera asked with pleading eyes. "I'm not little anymore and I wanna watch more shows." She surely wasn't going to be sent to bed at the same time as the triplets, right? Turning to them, she saw their needy eyes turn to their father, and chuckled.

"They want attention."