Private So far, so good

[Colette]

This place was twice the size of her hometown. As Colette walked through the great hall she could just imagine seeing them all given a parcel of the space and still have enough to move around comfortably. The winds were a bit colder than she was used to, but that was not saying much given that most places were cold when you grew up in an arid wasteland. They said it would take some getting used to, and given that it was just the first week that Colette had been here for she was willing to believe it.

Today was orientation. Master Noble would be giving a small meet and greet to welcome the latest batch of new arrivals. One at a time, that was the deal to help keep Valery’s schedule from clogging up, and now it was Colette’s turn. In truth she was nervous about it. This was the big one that everyone talked about, the hero of the year several years in the running, and then there was Colette who was here because — well, she didn’t really know why. She supposed simply because anything was better than where she was before.

Colette could feel the way her hands were clamming up. There was a slight tickle in her knees that begged her to go easy while her arms seemed to do everything they could to weigh her down. By the time that she approached Noble’s chamber she was positively rubbing her thumb against the palm of her hand to alleviate some of the stress as she slowly approached the door.

“Howdy…” She muttered to herself. “No, that’s stupid.”

“Hello!” She murmured through her teeth and groaned. “No…”

“How do you do?” She tried to quietly chirp but… “Nope.”

The door swooshed open, and there in the frame stood Noble herself. Colette yelped as she looked up at the woman. Her hands had clasped together to the point they threatened to fuse with one another while her quivering lips struggled to put any singular word or noise out. The doe-eyed expression did its job admirably in selling just how much she was overthinking this.

“Hi!” Was all that made its way from her throat to her lips. It was a high pitched squeal that ended no sooner than it had began as she stared at the Jedi Master before her.

Valery Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

"Hi!"

Valery blinked and even without using the Force, she could tell that the young woman was nervous. It wasn't exactly uncommon to see this with new arrivals — they were committing to an entirely new life, and some were perhaps a little intimidated or shy about meeting her as well. But Valery never wanted any Jedi to feel that way around her, so she quickly offered a warm, inviting smile and bowed her head respectfully.

"You must be Padawan Colette?" Valery asked, her tone gentle and kind. "It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Master Valery Noble."

With a gesture of her hand, she motioned for the younger Jedi to follow her, as she began to walk down the hallway. She could have chosen to bring her inside her room, but she had a better idea. Something that could help any person relax and be mesmerized at the same time.

"I hope the journey here wasn't too bad? And that you've enjoyed your stay on Coruscant thus far." Valery wasn't quite sure how long she had been here, but simple questions would hopefully help break the ice a little.

 

[Colette]

"No." Colette tried to answer before, "I mean yes! But no. Yes. It was…"

She was fumbling… Nobody liked it when you fumbled. Colette's hand began to pain from the way her thumb seemed to press harder and harder into the skin of her palms, and if she listened carefully she could have sworn that she could hear a tiny little squeak each time she did it. Her hand fidgeting came to a stop as she let her arm position itself in front of her so that the other hand could latch onto it with a careful stroke back and forth along the forearm.

"The trip was okay." She spoke through her gritted teeth. "N-not bad! It… I have never really—"

Nobody cared about what she had or hadn't done before, Colette was a nobody around here. The kid fell quiet and swallowed her words to let them sink and rumble in her stomach where they belonged. A quiet 'heh' blew past her thinned lips as she stared at the nearby wall. A very pretty wall. The prettiest wall she had seen in a while.

"Everything's great." She eventually muttered, only to realize that she wasn't speaking clearly. People in charge did not like it when you were unclear. And so she cleared her throat and spoke up again. "Great. It's all good."

"With the trip, I mean." She panicked. "Not the people." MORE PANIC. "No! I mean, the people are fine too!" Colette felt her heartbeat begin to pound against her chest. Usually in these situations she would find an excuse to go off and do something else, but she was quite literally here to just talk to this walking exemplar of what was right, and Colette was just some backwater trash panda from bum-struck-nowhere.

She could feel the way her muscles were constricting. Walking got more and more difficult with each step, but she pushed through the pain to try and keep up with the master Jedi.

"Everyone is REALLY NICE." She blurted. "The trip was REALLY NICE."

"I'm sorry for not speaking clearly!"

NEVER APOLOGIZE.

"SORRY. I'M REALLY NERVOUS."

STOP.

Valery Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

Valery stopped and turned to Colette with a reassuring smile, "It's okay to be nervous," Valery said with the same tone as before. It didn't bother her at all that the young woman was rambling and finding it hard to make up her mind about what to say. She could still remember how she felt when she was surrounded by the Council in her own Padawan days — it was never the most comfortable thing.

But Valery would always make an effort to help Jedi feel at ease around her.

"I'm glad the trip was nice, and hopefully your stay here will be pleasant as well." She hummed a little and glanced around the hallways as they made their way down. A tour now would probably not be the most exciting and only make the Padawan more nervous. So instead, she settled on another little idea.

"Do you like tea? Or coffee maybe?" Valery asked, now changing directions to head to the cantina. "Let's grab something to drink, sit down and just get to know each other a little better." It would be a good opportunity to ask questions and calm down, and Valery always wanted to familiarize herself with her fellow Jedi, so she could more effectively lead them.

It was a win-win for her.

 

[Colette]

Oh god, she stopped. Why was she stopping? Was it something Colette had said? It was probably something she had said wasn’t it? She should have known better than to try and play it cool, or apologize, or even just speak at all. The girl nodded in response to Valery’s reassurance but it was clear that she perhaps had not taken it to heart just yet. All things considered the whole ‘get out of here’ thing was more something that her friends and acquaintances had urged her to do. All of this was a lot of big changes at once.

When Valery asked for tea or coffee there was this brief moment where Colette paused to pat at the canteen she usually carried on her belt. Except this time it was not. Her hands began to pat along her stomach and hip, head turning, body spinning as she tried to find where it was. She must have forgot it in her room when she was testing the piping earlier.

“My canteen.” She sighed. “I must have left it in…”

“Water. I want water.” She said and stopped to look at Valery as her arms slowly sunk from her shoulders to her waist. “There is so much water here.”

Spoken with the innocence of someone who had been forced to ration it for most of her life. The tea and coffee offers were nice, of course, but she found that nothing ever really beat the sensation of a nice glass of mostly clean water; the quality of which had skyrocketed when compared to her old source.

“But, I— Iiiii—... There are probably more interesting members to get to know, Master Noble.” Colette felt her tongue wiggle and writhe as she kept from saying much more, to keep herself from apologizing for something she had no reason to apologize for. “I’m sorry, this is,” And clearly she would not succeed at that. “Such a big place, and I am so small, and you are so big.”

“In- in a good way! Not like… Fat, or any—” The panic resurfaced. “Muscles. No! I mean, yes…”

“You are tall, and strong, and the savior of the galaxy, and I am just… Me.”

Valery Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

Despite reassurances, Colette still seemed to struggle with the world she had found herself in. From forgetting a canteen to her preference for water to almost calling Valery fat, and talking about her muscles. Valery blinked, waited until the young woman finished speaking, and then gently reached out to place her hand on top of Colette's shoulder. It was perhaps risky, and she really hoped it wouldn't spark a fight or flight reaction, but she wanted her to take a step back and slow down.

"You are the future of this Galaxy, Colette. You might not see it that way now, but one day it's going to be Jedi like you who make the difference out there." She paused and smiled. "So if anything, it's an honor that I can meet you now, and perhaps help you on the way to get there."

After a gentle squeeze of Colette's shoulder, Valery let go and walked into the cantina. Luckily, it wasn't busy at all because most were in class, so she found them a quiet place to sit, and briefly left the young woman alone to get her some water. When Valery returned, she sat down as well and offered the glass.

"Where are you from, if you don't mind me asking?" Valery then continued to keep the conversation going with simpler questions. Questions that would hopefully not have her overthinking everything.

One step at a time, she felt confident she could help.

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

That hand would touch upon the most rigid of shoulders it had ever been laid on top of. Colette positively cringed up for that whole moment before eventually, very slowly, she began to ease up and allow herself to breathe like a normal human being again. She listened to what Valery had to say and took it in.

While it was probably meant as an honor to carry the galaxy on her back, thinking about it most certainly did not help Colette much. That was a lot of people that depended on her all of a sudden. A lot of responsibility for people that she didn’t even know. Last week her whole world had been a dozen scattered souls in a nomadic tribe, and now it was about to become a whole galaxy. Her eyes widened for a moment before they eased up from the gentle squeeze on her shoulder.

Valery went to get her drink and Colette her glass of water. By the time she was handed the glass she was already feeling a little better. The way the glass clearly seemed to shake in her grasp, and the way the water seemed to skip from side to side made it all the more evident that she wasn’t entirely fine, but that she was managing.

“I—” Colette began but took a sip from her water to stop herself. “I don’t know.” She muttered into her glass. “My tribe never gave it a name.”

Sixteen years of roaming the thing and she couldn’t even name it. For all the images she had of their hovering carriages and lumbering cattle they had with them as they placed beacon after beacon across its surface, she still had no name for it. Colette ran her finger along the engraved ridges of the glass as she found comfort in the waves of the glass as opposed to looking straight at Valery.

“I lived with a very close-knit group. Family by happenstance, not family by blood. My ma’ and da’ are…” She sighed. “Not around.”

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

Even though the glass was shaking a little in Colette's hands, Valery could still tell that she was feeling a bit better. It would take more time to get completely adjusted, but that wasn't entirely strange. In the old days, Jedi were practically raised at the Temple after their parents gave them up as young children. With so many joining the order much older, it took more time and effort to get settled in.

It wasn't easy to leave old friends and family behind. A topic that seemed to spark some deeper thought with Colette as well. The way her tone and body language shifted when she talked about her parents said it all.

"I understand," Valery said with a soft tone of voice. "I know it's not an easy change, but you're never alone here. As scary as it might appear to be, you can talk to any Jedi and ask for help if you need it. Myself included, of course." She flashed a much warmer smile and relaxed into her chair a little.

"What about hobbies and interests? Is there something you feel very passionate about?"

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

Colette broke into her first smile during her time with the Jedi. It was a thin, queasy-looking smile that pursed her lower lip underneath the upper lip as she looked over at Valery and the comfort she tried to offer. It lingered for a while longer, but her eyes glanced down at her glass again.

"I don't know." She admitted and fell into a thoughtful frown. "My tribe didn't put much emphasis on ownership and property. We each owned the clothes we wore, of course, but… This idea of owning something you don't need wasn't as desirable there as it seems to be out here."

"Only take what you need and give what you can." Colette smiled once more at Valery. "That's what the Elder always told me when I was growing up."

"And, I mean, I grew up on the move. I would like to wander, but Coruscant feels rather… Dead."

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

That smile, no matter how small, was very important to the Jedi Master. It was a sign that the conversation was going in the right direction, and Colette already seemed more at ease opening up about herself as well. So Valery just remained quiet, listened, and offered her own smile that helped convey her genuine interest.

"In some ways, your people are not too different from the Jedi. Traditionally, Jedi try not to be materialistic, so what we own is very minimal as well." Of course, that wasn't always the case anymore these days, but Valery certainly didn't own much either. Clothing, a lightsaber, her wedding ring, and that was about it.

"As for Coruscant... you're right. It's not the right world to wander in, but there are many others that will really blow you away. Perhaps I'll get to show you some if that interests you." Even with Padawans that weren't her own, Valery would often bring them along on missions or invite them to train away from the Temple.

The best way to train a Jedi was to show them what the Galaxy was really like.

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

There was something enticing in that offer to see something else, more so yet another world. All things considered Colette had only seen a handful of them at best, no more than five and mostly because they were on the road leading from her home to the temple.

"I…" She smiled at herself for a moment. "I want to see the ocean."

"I have heard there are planets that are nothing but water." Colette looked back in her glass, ashamed at how inexperienced she must seem. "And not drinkable water either but water that has life in it anyway."

"And, I guess—" She exhaled. "I guess what I want is…"

"It's stupid." Colette glanced off to the side. She could probably tell Valery, right? "I want to protect that."

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

"The ocean, hm?" Valery clearly sounded surprised but in a pleasant way. There weren't many Jedi who were overly invested in the aquatic worlds unless they came from one. But after visiting several during missions herself, Valery had grown fond of them, especially some of the people she encountered.

The Nautolans, in particular, had been extremely kind and welcoming.

"There are a lot of planets like it, and I'm sure we could make a trip to one, either for an assignment or just to learn. Being a Jedi isn't all about training with a lightsaber or the Force. We have to understand the Galaxy we're trying to protect as well," Valery said, hoping to play into what Colette expressed about wanting to protect such worlds.

Each planet could have vastly different cultures, so the way a Jedi helped one did not necessarily translate well to another.

"That desire to protect them, though, is what makes you a Jedi. It's not the experience you have, the skill with a lightsaber, or your proficiency with the Force. To me, it's about the heart."

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

Yet another little smile tugged at Colette's lips. If Jedi was all about having a heart then she had no problem giving it her all.

"Not that they can't take care of themselves, I just feel like if someone is given these sorts of opportunities it is their duty to make the most of it." She sighed at herself for a moment before she continued. "But, yet again, not that others can't take care of themselves, I just think that if someone can use the force to do good by others then that is what they should do it."

"Like when you have more food than you need. There is no need to hold onto something like that, it will go bad before you can enjoy it, so you share it. And if you have more power than someone else, then you use that power to bring them up to your level."

"If that's what a Jedi is, I mean, you know… I am okay with that."

"Actually…" She said and rubbed at the back of her neck. "What is a Jedi? To you, I mean. I was told by Knight Keer what he thought it was."

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

"That's very Jedi of you," Valery said with a smirk in response to just about everything Colette said. She saw responsibility in the abilities she had, and it was that selfless way of thinking that told Valery everything she needed to know. The young woman in front of her could easily become a good Jedi, even if she didn't see it herself yet, or if that thought frightened her. There was a time when Valery felt the same way.

"It is largely what being a Jedi is all about," Valery then continued to start answering the question.

"To me, a true Jedi is someone who uses their rare connection to the Force to selflessly help others to the best of their abilities. It's a life with a lot of sacrifice and responsibility, but one that can change so many more lives for the better. Our code and philosophies all revolve around this, and how we should approach it."

"From acquiring knowledge to understand the people and Galaxy we're trying to protect, to aspects of our lives we must conquer or honor. A Jedi's life is one of an eternal student, dedicated to the protection of others." She smiled faintly and let out a soft sigh as she thought about her own life for a moment.

"That doesn't mean that you don't at all focus on yourself, though. There was perhaps a time when it felt like that, but I've learned that allowing your own life to flourish a little, will make it much easier to help others better theirs. You can relate better to problems they might have, and the people can relate better to you as well. Finding the balance in all of that is a very important part of being a Jedi, to me."

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

So wait, Colette supposedly already had some of the ideals down? The kid looked at Valery with a confused look for a moment before she took yet another small sip from her glass as the master went into her idea of what a Jedi was. Even if most of it lined up with Knight Keer's explanation there were still some differences or pieces that she never really got from him.

"I see." She said despite not feeling like she had the whole picture at all. "Thank you."

"I never really thought about being that selfless, Master Noble." Colette then added. "The elder also said that life itself was selfish in a way. And that only a healthy mind can heal others, or something like that."

"I think I understand what they meant? They brought up a doctor that has the option of saving themself or someone else when there is only enough resources to save one of them. Either the doctor can save the person and die a selfless death, or they can act selfishly and save themselves at the cost of the other person's life but ultimately live on to help many others live."

Colette smiled, gave a gentle laugh and looked up at Valery to gauge her reaction to the fake situation.

"We were encouraged to have an understanding for the doctor if we ever were in the seat of the patient."

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

"The elder also said that life itself was selfish in a way. And that only a healthy mind can heal others, or something like that."

Valery began to smile at that sentence in particular, as it aligned perfectly with what she had been trying to say. It's why she had distanced herself from the rules about attachments, and why she bonded with people on a far deeper level than she would have before her stasis. her life had gotten significantly better because of it, and ever since she allowed herself to feel, the impact she had on the Galaxy has grown immensely.

"This is how I look at it as well," Valery said. "The old traditional rules of the Jedi were quite extreme about selflessness, and they perhaps still wouldn't have saved themselves in your scenario either. To me, it's just important that you take good care of yourself so that you can actually help others."

She paused and placed her left hand in the palm of her right, so her fingers could touch the wedding ring. "To me, my family has offered me everything I need to always stand tall for others. Support from my husband, unconditional love from him and my daughter, and just a feeling of understanding. That you know what you're really doing it all for when you help other families too."

She looked at Colette again and finally took a sip from her cup of tea, "I think your people have prepared you quite well for the Jedi life, the way it is now."

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

"I…" Colette swallowed her words for a moment. It didn't feel right to talk back at the grandmaster of the Order you were about to join, but something about her made it seem like maybe she would be alright with it.

"Master Noble, I wasn't raised for the Jedi. I was raised to help drive herds across deserts and ensure the survival of my tribe." It still didn't feel right to have said that. "I was really just fortunate to have one of the wiser elders speaking for my tribe."

Inhale, shaky exhale. Nerves.

"But— I mean… Thank you. I appreciate the kind words."

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

Valery tilted her head when Colette started her sentence but hesitated at first. Then, she chuckled, "Oh I didn't mean to say that they raised you to be a Jedi. What I meant is that the lessons of your people, or that elder specifically, happen to also prepare you quite well for being a Jedi."

She offered a kind smile and hoped that Colette wouldn't feel uncomfortable talking to her, even if she disagreed or wanted to share a different opinion.

"But hmm," she paused for a moment. "Is there anything you'd like to see in the Temple? Now that we've gotten to know each other a little better. Or do you have questions for me that you'd like answered? With most things, I'm an open book."

 

[Colette]

Valery Noble

"Oh." She whispered rather softly as her hand dragged across her lips to push and pull at it in an effort to try and feel anything other than the burn of shame. "You meant like that."

"I— I do." She then said in response to Valery's question. "Are you ever… Scared of your own power?"

Her eyes wandered up to meet with Valery's; lingering shame beaten by curiosity.

"I've… Found it hard to sleep when I think too hard about where this could take me and what it could do to me or the people around me."

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Colette

Rather than saying more about the topic that left Colette embarrassed, Valery focused on the question she asked and gave it a moment of thought. As a Shadow, she had learned to be invisible and phase through walls, as a Guardian she had learned to augment her body far beyond what people could naturally do, and through her own studies, she had managed to create a Wall of Light that spanned across an entire planet - of course, with some help.

But was she afraid of it all?

Valery looked at Colette and smiled, "No, but I would be if I didn't know what I was doing or couldn't control it. This is one argument for why the Jedi brought in such young kids as well and asked their parents to give their Force-sensitive children up to the Jedi. Our abilities can allow us to help people, but in the wrong, untrained hands, they can be very dangerous. " She paused again and let out a soft sigh.

"As long as you learn to control your abilities, few things can go wrong. That said, I have been scared in the past, too. A long time ago, before I ended up in stasis, my old Master was brutally killed in front of my eyes. Something like that can spark such an emotional response that it's harder to control my own power. I've come a long way since, but I also have people in my life who are far closer to me than my old Master was."

"That's the balance you have to find as a Jedi. It's okay to embrace friendship or even love, but it can't consume you."