Private Someone Else's Business

[Corin Trenor]

In response, Corin was able to do little else than suck air between his teeth. He tensed with arms lazily nestled onto his waist, able to only accept the truth of all that Iris commented on. He visited Kai for the same reason he visited Iris now, though blanketed apologies undoubtedly did little to dissuade the pain she felt from the act. Supposed that Corin became a little more than tunnel visioned on the situation he threw himself into.

"Yeah," he muttered softly. He did suck.

"Tell me, then. How are you feeling, Iris, about all of it?"

Iris Arani

 

[Iris Arani]

"Honestly? Terrible. Carnifex was already messing with my head and Kai tried to steal my memories like they were some data recording that could just be erased. He was in my head. My best friend. All you people keep thinking he's some Sithspawn but he wasn't even born a Sithspawn. He was taken, tortured, twisted. And none of you gave him a chance to heal or even just reach a hand out. Then he hurt me. And I'm just. I'm so confused. And hurt. And angry."

She let out a breath, reached a hand up to rub at her brow as she tried to figure out what she was supposed to be feeling at this point. Anger didn't feel right. She didn't like feeling angry. Not at Kai, not at the others.

"Sometimes I just wish I could loose myself in the colors again and not worry about feelings."

Corin Trenor

 

[Corin Trenor]

"It may be time to sit down on the sidelines for a bit." He said with a raised eyebrow, "Let someone else take the brunt of it for a while, someone else can step up."

It sounded almost empty from Corin. Someone that could never, would never take such advice from someone. Perhaps Iris and himself were alike in that sense, left to be a little too stubborn that it came with a cost. In any case, maybe it was time for a sit down. To ease the mind, to calm the nerves, settle the soul. She was a healer, she would know better than him.

"People could have been better to Kai. I could have been. But this isn't about what Kai is or was, but about what he's done. So take a break from it all, Iris. I can handle this one on my own. Feel what you need to feel and come to terms with it."

Iris Arani

 

[Iris Arani]

"Oh shut up you're the same way. I don't need saving or someone to handle this for me. Just, someone helping? Someone working with me? Stop trying to do things on your own. And especially don't try and do it for me. Like everyone else thinks they need to for some reason. It's so much more frustrating than what Kai did. I'm not weak. I don't need a break. I just .. I don't know what I need."

Now she was grumbling. Rambling. She knew it, too. But she did need to say it, at least, she felt she did.

"Can you just, stay? Go eat a burger with me. Be my friend, without drugs or fake parties or stuff."

Corin Trenor

 

[Corin Trenor]

It was pointless to argue. Regardless, it was a losing matter for Corin. Unless he opted to accept a break of his own, and the chances of there were slim to none and leaned a little too far into the none section to ever be considered. He tore across Denon like some fist of self-alleged justice, likely a touch too brutal for the other life he chose to lead; maybe that was the point of it all, that unsaid and unmentioned cathartic release that allowed Corin to be a Jedi elsewhere.

Maybe. Maybe not.

"Yeah," Corin breathed lazily after a second or two worth of deliberation, a hint of hesitance found in there. He was a busy man, busier than he let on and only ever by his own design too. Run himself into an early grave, no doubt. "Let's do that, but I can't stay long."

She was Iris, anyways. She was certainly not lacking in the friends department. There were clearly much better candidates than Corin, yet convenience was a hell of a motivator.

Iris Arani

 

[Iris Arani]

Oh he said yes. Iris blinked for a moment, them smiled. Yeah. She was surprised, sure, but definitely not disappointed in the slightest. She'd practically spin on a heel to lead the way out towards the local burger joint. Some place to just eat and relax. Take a little break from the drama of it all. Or well, that's kind of what she wanted. Kind of. Really, she just wanted Corin to stop looking so damn miserable even when he smiled.

He might suck as a friend some times, but he was still a friend.

".. Oh. Right. Congrats on the knighting. Sorry I wasn't there."

Corin Trenor

 

[Corin Trenor]

It came as no surprise to see someone wished for Corin to not seem so miserable. He was a cynic, the events of his life ensured that much. Even as smiles were often worn all too often as a child, the recent years had seen Corin open his eyes to the truth. He considered himself more realistic than most others in their respective crowd, and with that came a certain bitter outlook on the worlds around them. But nonetheless, there was an odd warmth to the uncommon smile.

The same one he wore now, even if so faintly in the smallest tilt to the corner of his mouth. He craned his eyes down towards Iris, who seemed shorter than ever before. The boy that slept curled on the Perl couch was a man now, unable to ever do the same. He could even claim ownership of his own apartment now, yet the funds for them were hard to come by.

"It's fine," Corin dismissed with the wave of his hand. "You were busy. But you should have your own any day soon, no? I'll try and make it."

Iris Arani

 

[Iris Arani]

"I figured you wouldn't want Denon without anyone. With you and Dagon and all the others there, anyway." Oop. Right, she wasn't supposed to know about Dagon. She shrugged it off though. Stopped in front of the foodtruck speeder she frequented to order herself a burger. "Though, me as a knight? Ha. That'd be a thing, wouldn't it? Not sure what I think about that."

Corin Trenor

 

[Corin Trenor]

The mention of his elder brother figure found in his former master forced the sudden incline of his brow, but Corin elected to say no more on the matter. Just unwanted attention is all that would afford the two of them, though Corin certainly remembered the mention. Something to catalogue for later no doubt.

"Denon has more than my watchful eye," there was an increase as of late, but the situation worsened all the time. "It can do a few days without me." He commented before ordering his own burger.

It felt as if there were tens of them on Denon now. Too many for his liking, a little too much chaos.

He swallowed a mouthful, "What? You want to be a Padawan forever?" Corin asked, smirking.

Iris Arani

 

[Iris Arani]

"You know that's just a reason for you to take a break yourself, right?" She raised a brow before taking a bite of her own sandwich. And.. Just leaned into forgetting the other problems. It was easier to help other people. It's what she did to ignore her nightmares. Until she confronted them anyway. Ah she was going to have to confront Kai at some point too, huh.

Great.

She took another bite, frowning as she munched away in anger. Then blinked.

"No, I don't. I just, y'know. When am I ready? Do I just feel ready? Did you feel ready?"

Corin Trenor

 

[Corin Trenor]

"Few days without me when I'm busy somewhere else," he noted with the tilt of his head and continued smirk. "It's not so much about whether I can anymore, more about if I want to."

It was easier to help other people. Corin aided Denon, more so than an individual. It wore him down, body and mind, and yet still the newly made Jedi Knight would never be anywhere else. His mission and home, that was Denon, and no matter how filth-ridden the streets became they were his to watch over and clean up. Even if that came at the cost of his soul.

But on the question of that advancement, he pursed his lips. Fell into thought. He spoke carefully, as if each word was calculated, though never smoothly. "You just... Do it. It happens and you figure out how to move forwards. I stressed about it, at first, but now it's just how life is."

Iris Arani

 

[Iris Arani]

"If you didn't look so sad all the time I wouldn't mind you being so busy."

Another bite as she kept her gaze off of him. It just happens and ya deal with it, huh? Stressed? That didn't really make her want to be a Knight of the Order any time soon. Not that she had much of a choice. Kind of. She could just deny it, right? Heh, wouldn't that be funny.

Not that she'd do that to Valery.

"Do you do anything to destress?"

Corin Trenor

 

[Corin Trenor]

"Sad?" He rebuked with a mouthful of assorted meats, Corin was left to chew at them as his mouth twisted and his eyebrows became one in all the sudden disbelief. "It isn't that I'm sad," the Jedi continued after a hearty swallow, now with a much clearer voice. "Just not full of joyous whimsy. It's real out there, and I know you know that. It treats you a little different on your own."

Corin understood what came next well before it came. Just another mention that it never had to be that way. He never had to be alone, and maybe it was true, but Corin sure cherished his isolation. The quiet solitude of his new apartment, filled with nothing more than dead air and the sound of acid rain on the window, was all the calm and relaxation the boy turned man ever needed.

In some refusal to admit it, Corin shook his head. Destress, a word that sounded an awful lot like distress. He knew the latter much better.

"To destress, I do what I do." It was a knowing look that met Iris, next. "It's satisfying. Helps me feel whole."

Iris Arani

 

[Iris Arani]

"Mm no you're full of it. I get it's easy to lie, but you know I can see the colors, right? I can see when you're sad." Is the blunt truth of it all. Though, she frowned. Whimsy, huh? Life was never like that. And she only frowned more at his next answer. Another bite of her burger as she munched away. And shook her head.

".. We both suck at dealing with our issues, huh."

Corin Trenor

 

[Corin Trenor]

He only raised a brow towards her with the tilt of his head in response, the dark strands of hair that framed his face rocked back and forth. Corin never lost track of that experience, that memory in which Corin could see into the colours; an incoherent blur of colours, unable to read. His eyes felt strained for days afterwards, close to a week. How Iris ever did it, he never understood it. Neither did the man ask, whether that was a mistake or not.

He chewed some more, able to tear into it faster than the young woman a full foot shorter than him now.

"Yeah," a breath-filled voice exhaled outwards with humoured smile and faint chuckle, no matter how short-lived. "Probably some therapists motherload."

Iris Arani

 

[Iris Arani]

"A Jedi therapist would already have their work cut out for them. Can't imagine how long they'd last trying to sort out our issues."

There was a bitter kind of laugh as she took another bite. He was already basically finished with his burger and she was barely halfway through. "I had to go to Voss to get some stuff worked out. It's all.. It's real tough."

Corin Trenor

 

[Corin Trenor]

"I remember when I was younger, lot of state-mandated stuff." He said wistfully, a subtle fade of his voice into a whisper. He leaned onto the nearby wall. "It never stuck. Lot of answers, but never... the answer, if that even makes sense."

He threw the last of it into his mouth, few more chews and that was it. Done. Good, too.

His vacant stare shifted down towards Iris, "Did you see them about the Carnifex... situation?"

Iris Arani

 

[Iris Arani]

"Mm." No, she didn't get it. But she also spent most of her life in a ditzy state of colors and whimsy. And, well. She'd never been to therapy herself, despite some how ending up a therapist to some of the current Padawans. Maybe she should look into training into that when she went back into school. When the wars ended enough for her to, anyway. She took another bite, chewed.

Set down what was left with a frown.

"He was in my head. After Tython he.. I don't know. Cast a spell? Cursed me? I don't know. But he was there. Every time I went to sleep. Tormenting me. Trying to goad me to kill myself. Hell, I think he could control me. He couldn't make me hurt anyone or hurt myself, but I'd wake up on the ledge of my apartment after he'd goad me to take a step. That kinda thing. It really messed me up."

Corin Trenor

 

[Corin Trenor]

He frowned. The sadness she remarked on earlier returned, a clear cut colour or colours for it surrounded Corin then. You could see it in his eyes, in how the eyebrows shifted around them, how the small lines formed next to them. How his mouch moved, barely. He breathed out an exhale with sound that flew from his throat, instinctive or reflexive. But even in it all, if there was a colour for curious then Iris could bet it was there.

He was always content to learn more.

"You say was. The Voss, did they fix it? Do you still feel things from him?"

Iris Arani

 

[Iris Arani]

"A healing ritual to get in my head and literally beat the darkness out. I haven't felt anything from him since. I've been able to sleep. Well, with the normal nightmares you get when you fight on the front lines." The bitterness returned, just a little. She wrapped up what was left of her burger, no longer feeling hungry.

"You're sad again."

Corin Trenor