Private Something Borrowed

[Nil Heska]

Although Nil didn’t verbally thank Braze for his apology, he gave an appreciative nod of his head. He had never been particularly gifted at talking about the uncomfortable stuff–sadness, anger, grief. Sorting through emotions was a luxury that few could afford in the undercity. It meant that the wounds that weren’t physical lasted longer than normal, sometimes never healing no matter how much time passed.

In his case, the pill of losing Meshi was one he still hadn’t quite swallowed. He had seen her body, had witnessed the indisputable proof that she would never come back. Yet, his mind hadn’t quite wrapped itself around the fact that his last memory of her was looking upon her battered, bleeding body. It was hard to fully understand that she was gone when he could still hear her voice so clearly in his mind.

Nil quickly returned his focus to the present, desperate to avoid dedicating any further thought to the loss of someone so significant to him. It certainly helped that the cheesy bread was so delicious. He picked up another slice and chewed it thoroughly as he looked down at the menu.

“I’m not too bad at reading,” he told Braze with his mouth full. “I might ask for help if there are any big words on here, though…”

At a glance, there wasn’t anything too challenging. Some of the items pictured looked like they would be positively delicious. He could feel his mouth beginning to water as he scanned over the various options… Pork broth noodles, synthsteak, and narquois rolls. How was he supposed to decide when it all looked so good?

“I think I’m gonna get another basket of bread and the Kublag Curry,” Nil eventually declared as he set the menu back down on the table.

With that out of the way, he was finally able to consider Braze’s offer. He wasn’t entirely sure what an arcade was or what it entailed, but if Braze was interested, then Nil figured he would be too. After all, the boy sitting across from him hadn’t steered him wrong yet. This day felt like something out of a comic book.

“Count me in. What do you do at an arcade?” He asked, trying to stop himself from eyeballing the last piece of bread in the basket.

Braze

 

[Braze]

TAGS: Nil Heska

More bread was brought to the table along with drinks in short order. An appetizer was laid out as well, covered in a generous amount of melted cheese.

Braze hesitated for a moment before speaking, his thoughts gathering like the steam from the hot cheese. "Uh... well, they have games there. Holovideo games mostly, but also tests of skill where you can win tickets and exchange them for prizes. There are little booth video games, fighting games, dancing games, and music games... quite a variety of games. The one I was looking at even has a bar that serves specialty food and drinks known on Atrisia, and a shop that sells cards and miniatures for tabletop games."

He paused, trying to paint a clearer picture. "I think they have lots of colorful lights and a mostly dark interior," he added, his voice gaining a bit of confidence. "They usually play music too."

 

[Nil Heska]

Going off of Braze's description, the arcade sounded pretty cool. Nil had never played many games, but he especially hadn't gotten the opportunity to try his hand at holovideo games. Fighting games sounded like something he would take to naturally, though. The thought of those alone made him eager to see what the arcade would be all about.

"Should be pretty sweet," he said with a nod of his head.

Again, he found his eyes drifting over to the next basket of bread they brought out. He picked up another piece and tore into it with his pointed teeth. It pulled apart easily, still soft and fluffy from the oven. Nil sank a little further into his seat as he chewed, looking out at the seating area beyond their booth. Most if not all of the patrons were dressed in nice clothes. He turned back to Braze.

"You're sure you don't mind paying for this?" He asked. "It might take me a while, but I could scrape together the money to pay you back. This place seems kinda expensive."

Braze

 

[Braze]

TAGS: Nil Heska

​

"Not at all, I don't mind. I'm allowed to spend money on 'necessities.' Besides, I've earned quite a bit by brokering deals, and I have a card from one of the major shareholders who owns this place. It lets me get free food for myself and my friends," Braze explained. "It's part of a deal I made. So, feel free to eat your fill, but don't overdo it to the point of making yourself sick. You can even order stuff to take with us if you want snacks for later. I don't mind cooking a fresh meal for dinner, though I usually cook for my Master, Jasper Kai'el , and myself. I enjoy cooking and savoring good food, but what I love even more is sharing that experience with others. Food is pretty universal."

Braze picked up a cheesy bread roll, cut into it, and spooned a cheesy mushroom inside, creating a unique little sandwich before taking a bite.

"Believe it or not, I know what it's like to go hungry and the unique burn of starvation," Braze added. "If you're enjoying yourself, that's all I need to know." He smiled, raising his little mushroom sandwich in a toast.

 

[Nil Heska]

It was good to know that this meal wouldn’t have much effect on Braze’s wallet, but it was even better to receive the gentle reminder that he needed to pace himself. Whenever food found its way in front of him, Nil had to exercise great restraint not to eat it all in one sitting. He had failed to do so an embarrassing number of times—and this time was no exception.

On the bright side, he had Braze to keep him in check, and he nodded along to the boy’s warning as he sat up a little straighter in the booth. He wiped his hands on his pants before reaching for a spoon. Mirroring Braze’s movements, he scooped up a stuffed mushroom and tapped it against his spoon. A second later, it was in his mouth, and he savored it for a short while before swallowing it.

“This is the first time I’ve enjoyed myself in a while,” Nil found himself admitting as he rested his elbows on the table. “I honestly thought you were gonna kick my ass for stealing your lightsaber. Didn’t really think doing something like that would get me a joyride and a free meal.”

Braze’s kindness was not wasted on him. No matter how many lightsabers the other boy had, Nil recognized that he had taken something of value from him. To be forgiven and treated to food was not the outcome he’d expected, but he was grateful nonetheless. There were few times in his life that he’d been shown such mercy.

“What I mean to say is thanks. I’ll remember this,” he clarified, clearing his throat a bit awkwardly.

Braze

 

[Braze]

TAGS: Nil Heska

Braze was quiet as he listened to the other boy, giving him his complete and undivided attention. "Well... take a deep breath and relax. There's no need to rush. I'm glad you're enjoying it. I figured you took something of mine to try and sell for food. Stealing isn't exactly the best course of action, but far be it from me to scold you. It's understandable to see why someone would steal in such a position... I'd steal too if I was starving," Braze offered.

"It's not the worst thing that's been done to my blade. I appreciate the apology too, and I believe you," he said gently.

"I rather enjoy the common creature comforts, such as hot water to get clean with, a cool environment, a soft, clean bed, and clean clothes. After being in the field for a few days, one starts to realize what they miss that they often take for granted," he trailed off. "I think we were brought together for a reason... I enjoy the more direct approach to offering help," Braze offered. "I've worked in soup kitchens for refugees a few times and sometimes the medical tents that treat wounded soldiers," he added. "My master took special interest in mercy missions to help others out who really needed it. The first time we met, we went to some small far-off planet and helped a town of people who were ill," Braze offered.

"I've kinda grown to enjoy making the universe a little nicer, even in small amounts," Braze offered. "I think I enjoy that part the most."

It wasn't long before dinner was brought out, and Nil was served his Kublag Curry.

Braze had ordered a filet and a baked sweet potato covered in roasted marshmallows, butter, and cinnamon sugar, accompanied by a mac and cheese dish. He had also ordered an extra entrée of steak and seafood to split and share. He would offer Nil a portion of anything he got if he wanted to try it as well, allowing him to sample new things he might not have had before.

 

[Nil Heska]

Hearing about all of the good that Braze was able to do as a member of the Order only made it more alluring to Nil. The cause to make the universe a little nicer was something he could see himself doing. If he had the means, he would lend his aid to people who had faced the same hardships he had. He would dedicate his time to working in a soup kitchen to spare people from the discomfort of gnawing hunger, just as he would pledge to protect people from any harm that threatened to come to them.

Once the food was brought out to the table, Nil wasted no time in digging in. It was an uphill battle to keep himself from eating with his hands, but he held onto his spoon for dear life as he feasted on his curry. It was pleasantly spicy and contained plenty of vegetables and meat. As he dusted off the last bit of food from the bowl, he wished that he hadn’t consumed so much bread so he could’ve asked for seconds.

“It’s funny,” Nil started as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, “I met a Jedi Master the other day… It was totally by random chance, but she gave me her com code and told me that I could talk to her more about maybe becoming a Jedi.”

He fished into his pocket and retrieved the small chip she’d handed him. Nil hadn’t dared lose track of the device after it had been placed in his care. Though he hadn’t been sure whether joining the New Jedi Order was the right choice then, he now found himself under the impression that the Force itself was working to push him toward the Order. This was the second Jedi he’d met in one week. Wasn’t that a sign in and of itself?

“I’ve never really given much thought to whether we meet people for certain reasons, but even I have to admit that this is getting kinda surreal,” he said with a bit of a laugh.

Braze

 

[Braze]

TAGS: Nil Heska

"Really? What did they look like? I bet I can guess who it was based on their appearance. Let's see if I can guess who it was... " Braze said, his interest sparking as he leisurely enjoyed his meal, relishing the atmosphere. "There aren't too many female Masters I know of... maybe five," he purred between bites of his potato.

"If she had brown hair, fiery eyes, and a scar pattern over an eye, it must have been Master Valery Noble . Something tells me she tends to meet a lot of Force users in her position as Sword of the Jedi," Braze chirped softly. "She usually wears a bodysuit and carries violet blades with electrum detailing. Her hilt I think is made from Songsteel with Phrik emitter guards. "

Braze paused to take a sip of his drink, thinking it over. He knew Valery was often drawn to Force sensitives like a moth to a flame—likely the work of the Force itself, in his opinion. Everyone he knew had heard of Valery.

 

[Nil Heska]

The description Braze supplied perfectly matched that of the woman he'd seen just the other day. It certainly helped that he offered up the same name Nil had been given, too. By the sound of it, the Jedi Master ran into all sorts of Force-sensitive people from every walk of life. He was grateful that he hadn't been some strange outlier.

"I didn't get a good look at the saber," Nil admitted. "But it was Master Noble. She was nice."

Nil decided to leave out the part where she'd caught him using the Force to pocket items from the store. It was an unnecessary detail in his opinion—one that didn't add much to the story. There were more interesting things about the encounter they'd had with one another. Things that Nil thought Braze might know more about.

"She warned me about the Dark Side. I don't really know what that means, though. I guess I kinda thought that the Force was all the same," he added.

Braze

 

[Braze]

TAGS: Nil Heska

​

Braze took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before speaking. "The dark side is... an alluring path of the Force," he began, his voice heavy with the weight of experience. "It offers easy power, quick to consume you. Emotional desire-driven bending of the Force's will to your own for self-serving purposes is how it takes hold. Once you start using the dark side, it becomes all-consuming. It will poison your mind and body, becoming like an addictive drug you might feel you can't do without."

He paused, eyes distant, as if recalling a painful memory. "Using the dark side can feel cathartic, as if there are no boundaries," Braze continued. "It's easiest done when embracing tempestuous emotions, strong emotions like hate, fear, jealousy—the kind that give you adrenaline rushes."

Braze's expression darkened, and he spoke with a quiet intensity. "Using the dark side of the Force is akin to embracing a tempestuous storm within one's soul. It is a path that seduces with promises of power, freedom, and the fulfillment of one's deepest desires, but it exacts a heavy toll. For those who delve into its depths, the dark side offers an exhilarating rush of raw, unfettered energy, amplifying emotions like anger, fear, and hatred to near-overwhelming levels. This emotional surge grants the user immense strength, speed, and a heightened sense of purpose, as if every fiber of their being is aligned toward achieving their darkest ambitions."

He sighed, the weight of his words pressing down on him. "However, this power comes at the cost of one's inner peace and morality. The dark side feeds on the practitioner's negative emotions, twisting and corrupting their thoughts and actions. It creates a sense of insatiable hunger, a constant need for more power and control, leading to a cycle of ever-increasing darkness. The more one relies on the dark side, the more it consumes them, eroding their sense of self and making them a puppet to its will."

Braze's eyes hardened as he concluded, "It is the way of the Sith to use the dark side. They preach that peace is a lie and that strength will grant you freedom. They believe in might makes right while enslaving themselves to a vicious cycle, all under the guise that they are freeing themselves. In truth, they plunge deeper and deeper into the trappings of the dark side, being consumed body, mind, and soul."

 

[Nil Heska]

If Braze’s grim expression wasn’t enough to showcase the ominous nature of the dark side, then his words certainly were. Nil listened closely, partially hunched over the table as he kept his attention on the other boy. His explanation left extremely little to the imagination.

The path to the dark side sounded like a treacherous one–an unpredictable journey down a slippery slope. He could understand feeling attracted to easy power. In fact, he was sure that it was something he might have considered using had he not been raised to do the right thing (most of the time, anyway). Being pushed to the brink of survival made people behave in ways they previously never would have imagined.

Beyond that, the dark side seemed rather frightening. Its tendency to feed on the negative emotions of an individual was unsettling to think about. Nil had wrestled with unpleasant feelings for a significant portion of his life. It was alarming to know that tapping into the wrong parts of the Force ran the risk of turning him into some immoral psychopath.

To avoid such an outcome, he would need to receive some kind of training in the Force. It was next to impossible to ignore the offer of the Jedi now.

Nil shifted in his seat, resting his chin on his palm and looking down at his empty bowl. “Sounds like something I want to avoid… I’ll go with you to the Temple. Not today, but soon. I think it’s for the best that I learn more about this Force stuff and how to keep it in check.”

Braze

 

[Braze]

TAGS: Nil Heska

​

"So you don't want to have a sleepover tonight?" Braze queried, his voice laced with curiosity. "If you want that, then that's fine too, I suppose. I figured you'd enjoy a chance to get cleaned up. Do you want my comlink information?"

Braze reached into his pocket and pulled out a small notepad and pen, scribbling down his comlink information with practiced ease. He tore off the piece of paper and handed it to Nil. "Here," Braze said, "if you ever need to talk, or if you change your mind, just reach out. I'm here for you."

 

[Nil Heska]

A sleepover? If it had not been for the extremely straightforward term, Nil would've been unsure what such a thing was. He'd never participated in a sleepover before, much less been invited to one. A sense of apprehension made itself known in his mind, though he couldn't ignore the opportunity to get cleaned up.

Nil couldn't even recall the last time he'd taken a shower. When he lived with Meshi, they would sometimes go days at a time without running water. He was used to being covered in dirt and grime, but even he had his limits. With the amount of time that had passed since he last bathed himself, he was fast approaching that limit.

"Where would the sleepover happen?" Nil asked as he reached across the table and accepted the piece of paper from Nil.

Braze

 

[Braze]

TAGS: Nil Heska

"I have a dorm room at the temple and a space on my Master's ship, the LoneStar-1," Braze offered simply, his voice tinged with a touch of nostalgia. "I'm sure my Master won't mind you staying over. The temple might still be in the stages of reconstruction, but my room is fine. So, you're the guest; I'm happy to let you have your pick."

He paused for a moment, a faint smile crossing his lips as a memory surfaced. "You know, I once hosted a whole party in one of the dojos with the other Padawans. I miss that... It feels like a lifetime ago now."

 

[Nil Heska]

Nil could hardly imagine having one room, let alone two. There was so much about Braze’s day-to-day life that struck him as unfathomable. He whistled under his breath, shaking his head as he weighed where they should stay the night. Ultimately, he figured it would be an exciting first to spend an evening aboard a starship. He’d never even touched one with his own hands.

“A dojo party seems pretty cool, but I’m real curious about the LoneStar,” Nil said. “I’ve never been on a spaceship before. That thing has to be huge if it can fit whole rooms in it.”

Despite his tendency to keep his emotions under wraps, he couldn’t help but feel a bit excited by the possibility of climbing aboard a starship. Today had already been so much more eventful than he could’ve dreamed of. Knowing that it wasn’t going to stop anytime soon made it next to impossible to wear his usual frown. Some part of him wished that he’d tried stealing a lightsaber off of someone sooner.

Braze

 

[Braze]

TAGS: Nil Heska

"The rooms on the ship aren't that big. The temple's quarters are a bit roomier," Braze assured him.

After they had eaten their fill and packed up anything they wanted to take with them, Braze decided to bring Nil to the temple first. He showed him his room and offered some clean clothes of his own that might fit. "You can borrow these, and I'll have your clothes cleaned," Braze said, gesturing to a neatly folded set. "Feel free to take a nice shower or bath if you'd like."

Braze then gave Nil a brief tour, showing him the cafeteria and a few other areas in passing before leading him to the hangars where the LoneStar was docked. There, he gave Nil a full tour of the ship, showing him the various rooms and even the cockpit.

Once the tour was complete, Braze let Nil decide where he wanted to rest for the night. He was more than happy to share his collection of lightsabers, showing off the different designs he'd been working on. He even let Nil pick out a few that he might like to try in the training hall, setting them to training mode so he could feel their weight and balance. He was patient polite, considerate and over all kind tohis new friend and wouldn'ttryto forcehim in to anything he didn't want to try or do and allowed him free reign toleave when ever he desiered. He let him keep the key to the speeder insisting it was actually his now.

Braze's enthusiasm was clear, and as the evening wore on, it was evident that he genuinely enjoyed sharing these experiences with Nil.