Private Stars and tide

[Jenn Kryze]

​

| Location | Scarif
| Objective | Swim, sing, and forget.
| Focus | Runi Kuryida

Jenn was growing weary of the great burden resting on her shoulders.

When the time came for her duty as Kayatr'ade to be fulfilled, she acquitted herself as expected: grieving families brought her the beskar'gam of the fallen, and she wasted no time in giving new purpose to the hallowed metal of her people. When she saw her people taken over by the passionate call for battle, she spoke fairly and truly, hoping to impart her own wisdom unto them. When she watched vod leaving the Enclave behind and joining with the enemy, she defended their honor, speaking highly of their drive to fight for what they felt to be right: they were all deluded, not lost. But... with the monumental revelation from one she considered a close friend that she, too, was touched by the Manda? Her worldview found itself challenged once more.

How was she to retain her formidable will, when she found herself forced to entertain the notion that she would, one day, face her closest friend in a battle to the death? Or that another had returned to the Sith, leaving her conflicted on how to proceed. Was she to shatter such a bond forever, now that she knew the Sangnir lived, and served the Sith once more- with a Master of her own, no less? Thinking of it made her sick to her stomach, and yet... the two of them bantered as if nothing had changed, they traded jests just as they had years ago, inquired on one another's love life, promised to attend the respective weddings to come. Friends they remained, still, and yet she knew what the Enclavee would do if anyone was to learn of such a... forbidden friendship. Or of her repeated run-ins with the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order.

All of it, element after element, added onto her burden... but it was when she found herself confronted by her lover's cold words that she realized just how much she had neglected her in favor of the Enclave, ever occupied with forging beskar, inventing new weapons, or seeking out new means for her to recover the fallen and their wargear, or to bring comfort to those feeling turmoil on the home front.

A love life in peril, duty practically strangling her, and doubts eating away at her.

That was why she chose to return to Scarif. A planet that was, by and large, more of a home to her than Kestri or Hefi could ever hope to be. Here, the tides embraced her, welcomed her as a long-lost daughter... and she felt all of her worries melting away, taken from her by the tide. Or at least, she always had felt like this in the past, but now, even with the clarity given to her by the ocean's embrace, the Ersansyr's melancholy persisted, no matter how peacefully she swam. The occasional lazy kick of her tail allowed her to move at a comfortable speed, to look at the beauty of the world surrounding her in an attempt to immerse herself in the pleasant and familiar sight of the deep blue underworld-

But her song betrayed how she felt. Oh, it was certainly captivating as ever, an otherworldly melody capable of luring an inattentive soul sailing by, but this time, it spoke of her pain. Jenn sang, and her heartbreak carried across the waves, across the Force, a bittersweet melody capable of touching the heart of even the most cruel of warlords. And when she finally swam back to the island where she had left her beskar'gam, she found a lone figure on the shore.

And her song died in her throat.

 

[Runi Kuryida]

:: SCARIF​

Runi Kuriyda stood on the shores of a Scarif island. She wore her armor with its shawl and cloak of many feathers that rustled gently in the wind. The avian helmet was straped to her back atop the two wooden swords crossed there. There was no need for her to stand wearing her helmet here, but it was prudent to carry it off-world where battle could be joined at any moment.

Her hazel eyes had calmly swept over the waves as the lapped upon the shore for as long as it had taken. There was no need to hasten the woman's appearance. Currents of space and time spoke that Jenn would make herself known soon enough. Others could not hear and touch such currents to know a thing, and often became impatient or questioned whether they were in the right place at all. Such was not a certain for the Speaker of the Mandokarla; she arrived precisely where she was meant to be.

All the same, Runi was required to stand there patiently awaiting Jenn's arrival. It was not wise to delve too deeply into those currents to know the precise time and place one should be. The temptation to misuse such powers were greater then. Such were the teachings Shamen learned in the Briirud. The Manda (Force) was not to be used as a mere tool, or believed to be an eternal, limitless resource to be called upon for mere convenience. It deserved the respect of being the Fundamental Force of their very existence.

At least Jenn's head broke the waters and the two woman found sight of one another. Runi stood with her arms at her sides upon the sands. The lightest of invisible touches reached out to beckon the young one closer to the shore. Whether she came all the way on land or not, the Speaker hoped for the other woman to show she was prepared to talk by coming forth on her own. Demands or going to her would only put her on the defensive and be less about what Jenn needed and more about what her uninvited guest expected -- a counterproductive experience.

:: Jenn Kryze ​

 

[Jenn Kryze]

​

| Location | Scarif, Shoreline
| Objective | Answer the call.
| Focus | Runi Kuryida

For all of the respect she held for the Mandokarla, Jenn was not a particularly spiritual woman. A fact that was rapidly catching up with her, now that her nature as one touched by the Force was rapidly emerging. At the end of the day, she often chose to put her trust in what she could reach out and feel against her fingertips: that worldview naturally drew her to the Kayatr'ade, where she blossomed as a humble, yet talented smith. The secrets of the Force, or the Manda, were unknown to her- why, she remained completely unaware of whether or not the two were separate entities or not.

The sea was peaceful under the moonlit sky, but Jenn was not. Finding someone waiting for her by the shoreline was often cause for alarm, but the spiritual figurehead of the Mandalorian Enclave? Now that was so much worse. Had her forbidden friendships been discovered? Or was this merely the consequence for her impassioned speech before the rest of the Mando'ade in the amphitheater on Scarif? For now, all the Ersansyr could do was meet the woman's gaze from afar, her luminescent eyes locked with the seer's own. The fiery-haired warrior was... afraid. Her worry was plain for all to see: on her features, and written all over her soul.

A part of her longed to flip her fin, curl her mighty tail, and return to the depths, to flee from this encounter! But, in the end, she resigned herself to her fate, swimming over to the shore with but a few kicks of her tail. In no time at all, Jenn was sitting close to the shore - but not quite on dry land, hugging her tail close in her arms and letting the water crash against her with each wave breaking against the shoreline.

​

 

[Runi Kuryida]

:: SCARIF​

"What troubles you, Jenn of Clan Kryze?" A single hand rose to forestall the answer. "Not what troubled you among the many. What troubles you now? Is it the shapes moving in the shadows?" The Speaker made no move to look behind or around her. The light cast by the low flames made it appear as though the shadows further back from the shore moved. "The unseen eyes that peer between the trees? Currents that might draw you into the deepest places and never let you go? There are many dangers that lurk in places familiar and not. It is a shame when a Child of the Manda feels they must face all of them alone."

Runi made no effort to move from her spot as she spoke. Jenn had not run, but she hardly seemed eager to come closer. Was she afraid of Runi herself? "Is it comfortable exposed to the air?" She regarded the hesitant woman. Obviously the water's temperature alone was not a concern. Did it remain true with the wind brushing over her and evaporating the water from her body? "I have a fire, if you care to join me. Or, I can join you." Her armor would not do any favors in the water, but at least it was not nearly as heavy as those that charged head-first into war.

:: Jenn Kryze ​

 

[Jenn Kryze]

| Location | Scarif, Shoreline
| Objective | Answer the call.
| Focus | Runi Kuryida

​

The Seer spoke... sense, to Jenn's clear surprise. She was somewhat used to the frustratingly cryptic words they chose to speak, but, then again, she was Kayatr'ade, and perhaps she merely lacked the wisdom to understand the meanings inlaid before her when the Mandokarla spoke. But... not today, no. The Shaman spoke of the Ersansyr's fears rather aptly, to her shock - and her worry. There was no denying the way she looked to the woman before her: the kind-hearted warrior felt shame, and not a little fear as well. Now, more than ever, she was afraid of the unknown, and Runi... Runi was its herald. But, where she had been almost tenderly embraced by the tide, the cool air of the night left her shivering in no time at all. With her beskar'gam resting in the sand and nothing but a modest swimsuit on, there was no denying how cold she was.

It was when Runi offered to join her that she shook her head, shame overtaking her fear. No, she would not do the spiritual voice of her people the indignity of having to join her in the water because of her fearful refusal of joining her inland, where she was vulnerable, loathe as she was to shift now. "I need but a moment", asked the Ersansyr as she dragged herself back to the water- deep enough to be afforded some privacy, stopping when it reached up to her stomach. It was then that she closed her eyes, inhaled sharply through the gills at the sides of her neck... and, although she was loathe to make herself more exposed, the fiery-haired Mando'ade made the ever-difficult choice to trade her mighty and graceful tail for a much more practical pair of legs. Adjusting her swimsuit was all she needed to cover herself once more - a design choice that had become somewhat necessary for one of her kind.

Shivering as she emerged from the water and collected her discarded beskar'gam, the lonely woman of Clan Kryze seemed more than intent to join the Shaman to warm up, and slip back into the comfort of beskar as soon a she became dry.

"Why come here? I am only a smith, of little importance in the grand scheme of things."

 

[Runi Kuryida]

:: SCARIF​

"I will wait." Runi inclined her head with Jenn saying she required a moment.

Not that the mystic would be found precisely where Jenn had left her once her head surfaced once more. Runi had relocated near the low fire to place another piece of dried timber to ensure a good heat once her company emerged. No need for Jenn to be physically uncomfortable as they spoke. It wasn't an interrogation Runi had in mind.

Hazel eyes lifted to regard Jenn as she sported legs once more and her beskar'gam in her possession. An open palm bid the woman to join her before the fire.

A quiet chuckle followed Jenn's self-deprecating statement. "Who, truly, is of great importance in the grand scheme of things? How many souls can be said to be irreplaceable?" Was even Runi irreplaceable? A part of her had lived so long as to feel that way, but was it fact or merely a delusion born of time? "You, Jenn Kryze, are as important as any other Child of the Manda to me and the Mandokarla. That is our way."

"I come because the Manda has heard your voice. It hears all its Children, but some hear it more clearly than others. It can grant them a new sort of strength. One that should be used to help Brothers and Sisters in their trials, but can easily be used for selfish pursuits of glory or revenge. Can you say to have felt its call?"

:: Jenn Kryze ​

 

[Jenn Kryze]

​

| Location | Scarif, Small Island
| Objective | Answer the call
| Focus | Runi Kuryida

The last thing she wanted to do was to argue with the mystic who had made the choice to come and see her - to bring her guidance, perhaps, if she was not here to judge her as she feared. Beckoned as she was to join the seer by the fire, the smith obeyed without a word, clutching her buy'ce close to her chest, as if it might just protect her, or bring her... some form of comfort. A reminder of her days as a staunch follower of the Way of the Mandalore, hiding away behind the Y-shaped visor, taking a great deal of confidence and comfort in the knowledge that she was but a faceless embodiment to all. But she had left such traditionalism behind for the sake of love some time ago now...

Naturally, her mouth opened to answer Runi's words, to tell her that some mattered more than others- evidently, the Rallymaster's soul held more weight than her own, given the outcry following her death. The rest of the Enclave's leadership was no different. But... no words left her lips. The shaman followed by pointing out that many more souls are irreplaceable, voicing a sentiment the Nite Owl agreed with. There was but a cant of her head as she was called important, as if she had become incapable of accepting that fact entirely. Not with words, nor her voice.

But soon, the subject of Runi's visit became apparent, and her fear returned. Was her soul already touched by the Dark after her visit to Dromund Kaas? Was her inexperience so easily felt, the new nature she was discovering so blatantly obvious to perceive for those granted sight beyond sight? That luminescent gaze of hers looked everywhere but at the shaman's own hazel eyes.

Jenn was... so very afraid of losing herself.

"Yes", she spoke at last, after what could only be described as uncomfortable, anguished silence. "I have felt the Manda's call. Felt its touch against my soul..." There was another pause as she collected her thoughts... and fully shifted back, her eyes returning to their natural gray. Only then did she feel courageous enough to meet the shaman's gaze.

"... and it scares me."

​

 

[Runi Kuryida]

:: SCARIF​

"As well it should." Runi picked up a stick and gently prodded the logs in the fire. "You do not need to join the Mandokarla, Jenn, but there are lessons you should learn if you do not. The Manda is. Everything you see, touch, smell is of the Manda. You have the ability to touch it in ways few can understand. It is akin to describing how you lift your hand." Once the awakening occurred it was simply a thing a person could do. Of course, they needed taught the ways in which this new 'limb' could function or at least a framework to discovering those way son their own.

More importantly, they needed guidance to know how to avoid the pitfalls of such power.

"I teach student and Shaman -- those that have mastered this ability -- to use the Manda responsibly. It is not our way to act as many Jedi or Sith do by brandishing their abilities openly so often. It becomes another distraction from what truly matters -- each other. If you can always remember the words you spoke before the Council, and that the good of the many always be your guide, then you will do well."

Runi gave Jenn a small smile. "Of course, if you trained at the Briirud the Mandokarla could teach you many ways to make use of this contact with the Manda. How not to succumb to temptation. That it not become a crutch." She set the stick down and peered across at the other woman. "But what is it that you want, Jenn of Clan Kryze? What would you do, if you were given the power to do anything?"

:: Jenn Kryze ​

 

[Jenn Kryze]

​

| Location | Scarif, Small Island
| Objective | Listen, and learn.
| Focus | Runi Kuryida

Rather than fear, Jenn felt... immense relief the more Runi spoke. Slowly, the proud member of the Kayatr'ade allowed her wariness and her fear of the shaman before her to ebb away. Evidently, the mystic was her to help her, to give her the means not to lose herself in the wake of the realization washing over her. Even as her gaze followed the stick and rested on the campfire, the earnest, if weary Mandalorian seemed to drink in the shaman's every word. At long last, she was given explanations, a sense of meaning! The Manda's blessing felt all too natural, all too her for the once-Crusader to reject. She felt well and truly blessed, and yet she knew that some regarded those touched by the Manda itself with suspicion, if not outright scorn.

After all, she had once been one of them.

When Runi mentioned her speech before the Council, however, her gaze was soon brought to rest against the Mandokarla's own. Approval for her bold decision to speak out agains the war was hardly something she expected, even less so from such an important voice within the Enclave. Mevia's gaze resting upon her with such open hatred, Sahan's dismissal of her concerns... they left her with little hope of making much of a difference. Celt of Clan Saxon had shown respect for her decision, but a Crusader she remained. Jenn felt alone in her cause, estranged from those she adored so dearly, from her people.

And when the smith's voice rose, it was naught but a whisper, her gaze lost in Runi's eyes, almost as if in a trance. Power, and the doors it opened, was a dangerous thing. The Dark had already tempted her with whispers of what it could give her: the adoration of thousands, if not millions! The wisest of souls and the strongest of warriors kneeling before her, competing for her attention, lavishing her with the attention she still bitterly craved, yet wisely avoided.

"I would protect those I cherish. Mando'ade, or otherwise."

And then, hesitation. Fear. If she kept the full extent of the truth from Runi, she may very well be lost. Swallowing thickly, she closed her eyes, as if afraid of the disappointment she might just see in the shaman's gaze.

"... and earn the love of all besides."

 

[Runi Kuryida]

:: SCARIF​

"Love?" The Shaman echoed calmly. A moment of silence followed as she regarded the young woman. "A powerful sentiment. One that could strengthen your conviction in even the darkest times, or cause you to become a twisted mockery of everything you once held dear. What is it, exactly, you desire from others, Jenn? Appreciation? Recognition?" There was a brief pause that could easily have been missed if one wasn't paying attention. "Adoration?"

"There are many things for you to learn, but always remember this: the Manda does not dictate the path your life takes, and it is neither Good nor Evil. The Jedi tout their Light Side of the Force, while the Sith champion the Dark. The Manda is neither. Some think this 'Force' is warm and selfless, desiring to shed all attachment; and others cruel and selfish, consuming all it touches. They ascribe these traits to it because that is what they hunger for it to be -- a reflection of their self and their desires. You," Runi pointed at the woman before the fire, "are the sole arbiter of your own life, Jenn. Whether you protect those you cherish, or condemn them to untold suffering believing it for their sake, will by the choices you will make. Not the Manda."

There was much Runi could speak of on what the Manda sought for its countless Children, but Jenn didn't need Runi to talk endlessly without any opportunity to discuss, question, and absorb what they shared.

:: Jenn Kryze ​

 

[Jenn Kryze]

​

| Location | Scarif, Small Island.
| Objective | Listen, and learn.
| Focus | Runi Kuryida

There was no mistaking the sharp inhale through her gills as soon as Runi spoke of love. The emotion that all but ruled Jenn, guided her further down her path... and, to her clear discomfort, Runi's words were on point. It felt as if the mystic could see right through her, a thought that brought about a great deal of fear once more. A shiver went down her spine when the honored shaman spoke that word- that damnable word! Yes, she wanted adoration, almost desperately so - but her words failed her. Now, more than ever, she felt as if the great spiritual leader of her people might cast a terrible judgement upon her!

Frozen in fear as she was, she listened to her words most intently still, but there was more than merely a desire to learn, and thus better handle this newly-discovered nature of hers. The fear she had managed to banish now haunted her every thought, its shadow cast over her earnest desire to take Runi's words to heart. At least, the notion that the Manda was a pure force, beyond the Light or the Dark, was... somewhat comforting. And terrifying at the same time. If she was the one in control of her own life, then everything rested upon her, not the will of the Manda, for better or worse. Mistakes would be hers to accept.

"I'm not strong enough", she whispered at last, avoiding Runi's gaze. "I'm already- doubting everything, myself included, and now... what if I use this for ill? What if I get scared when the Alliance strikes our homes? What if I give in and do something terrible out of that- that love?"

 

[Runi Kuryida]

:: SCARIF​

Runi's hands slapped down atop her knees as she proclaimed, "Dar'manda." There was a very deliberate, pregnant pause that followed that proclamation. Fear was the point. Jenn needed to face her fears and the threats in life she would face. "Is what you fear to become."

"You are the arbiter of your own life, Jenn," as she'd said moments earlier. "If you deem your actions unjust, you will find them tied about your neck. One crushing weight at a time. There are vod that have fled into the deepest reaches of space to escape the judging eyes of others in those circumstances. But, truly, what they seek to escape is from the specters of their past that haunt them. Things you cannot elude no matter how far or how fast you run."

The Shaman shrugged slightly. "But you are not damned for making a mistake. Even one that costs the lives of other Mandalorians. Not if you recognize your own faults soon enough and take action to correct them. If you can't do that... if you embrace the belief that the senseless slaughter of others for your own edification is enough then you may truly be Lost."

"The Mandokarla exist to help Brothers and Sisters find their way through Life again after the challenges of this life wear on their soul. There is always time to change for the better, Jenn. Even if it must wait until your next life." Runi gave Jenn a small smile. "I recommend you seek to become the stronger soul in this life, even if you seek out the counsel of others in order to do it. Your strength is the Manda's strength."

:: Jenn Kryze ​

 

[Jenn Kryze]

​

| Location | Scarif, Small Island
| Objective | Confront, and grow.
| Focus | Runi Kuryida

​

The anticipation hung heavily in the air, leaving the kind-hearted smith afraid of just what the honored shaman would tell her... and when those hands slapped down and the mystic let out that simple word, all of Jenn's fears coalesced into a single, horrified cry of complete and utter terror. Evidently, the wise Jorhaa'ir of the Enclave could see through her with ease, and divine just what drove the will of the weary inheritor of a long tradition of heroes and martyrs before her - and what stopped her from achieving her true potential. eating away at her. But, no matter how afraid she was of Runi, and the judgement of the Mandokarla as a whole, respected as they were in the eyes of one so devoted to other pursuits...

... the Speaker's words brought her no small amount of comfort. Breathing heavily at first (and thus making her gills all the more apparent), the gentle warrior made a conscious effort to listen to the words uttered by the wiser woman who deigned to come and bring her a chance at clarity, and understand their meaning. To fail and fall was not the end of a journey, so long as one showed a willingness to improve, to accept their faults, and thus move on from the shame others would drown in. Knowing this, and seeing the smile given to her brought her strength. Strength enough to speak of something she had kept a secret, so terrified as she of being exiled.

"I am afraid of losing myself... for I have seen kinder souls than mine be lost before. I met a distant vod who was very much like me, some time ago now. We became fast friends, in spite of a rocky start - so much so that I came to her for help after a perfidious Sith left me changed, my very being twisted, my humanity taken from me. She brought me clarity as to what I had become, gave me water as I wasted away, and taught me to better control my new form. This woman did all this for no other reason than a desire to help me."

Jenn paused, meeting Runi's gaze as she spoke, and fully expecting condemnation to finally be given out when her story reached its end. There was no other way she could see things unfold.

"And this kind woman, this steadfast friend? She turned her back on our people, our ways, all that makes us Mando'ade. And... she tried, for a time, she truly did. But my friend became more than merely Dar'manda. No, this friend, without whom I would perhaps know precious little of what I am- she embraced what she had fought against for so long, and chose to become Sith. She was greater, and kinder than I could ever hope to be. And she still... fell. Fell so very far, telling me all the while that she had reasons for doing so."

​

 

[Runi Kuryida]

:: SCARIF​

It seemed, at last, Jenn was willing to open up about what troubled her. All it had taken was circumspectly identifying her greatest fear and then throwing it in her face. She'd say that was a typical Mandalorian educational technique, but many schools of thought -- including some Jedi and Sith factions -- used the same.

As the woman slowly unraveled her tale, the Shaman regarded her with a level, hazel gaze. On the topic of Jenn being 'twisted' into a new form, Runi's countenance did not change. It was a crime -- but it was a crime for what this Sith had done to Jenn, not that Jenn, herself, was a crime by continuing to exist. Runi of all people would be the last to judge lest she be the greatest hypocrite of all. The Speaker taught that all life was worthy of respect. All. To survive they may need to slaughter some forms of life, but they did so in a proper fashion to show respect and humility for such great need.

Runi's gaze did not wander, but when Jenn finished the hazel eyes turned toward the flames for a moment. Only the crack of the wood splintering from the heat filled the air.

"That is the trap," Runi said softly when the silence broke. "There will always be 'reasons' to justify certain choices. Sometimes they are unavoidable -- the only alternative an even darker fate." She lifted her chin and looked over at Jenn once more. "The consequences, the trap, are what erode the soul. Once choice begets another, which begets another. Soon, the avalanche has begun and it seems there is no way to stop it. Worse is when they come to believe they can only trust their self, and alone they are powerless to stop their descent."

"She may not yet be Lost, Jenn. Who can truly know the truth of another's soul besides the Manda? There is a great chance she may become Lost left on her own. That is part of the Mandokarla's duty -- to seek out Mandalorians in need." Runi gave Jenn another small smile. "Even those that don't yet know or have forgotten what it means to be Mandalorian." Even among the Sith. The Enclave had riled up the warriors with their cry of crushing the Sith Menace, and on its face Runi could not disagree with their choice, but every individual was their own story. A person may be salvageable even when the collective must be annihilated.

"I do not excuse those that commit crimes and expect to be absolved with a wave of the hand, however," the Shaman added. "The Manda knows you better than you know yourself." Deceiving yourself and those around you was just another crime against one's own soul; it only served to wound them further and make their recovery all the more difficult.

:: Jenn Kryze ​

 

[Jenn Kryze]

​

| Location | Scarif, Small Island
| Objective | Confront. Learn. Grow.
| Focus | Runi Kuryida

Even now, Jenn was still confused. A Mandalorian's upbringing often involved what her beloved would refer to as the school of hard knocks: they were a rather direct lot, as were some of their ancient enemies... and the humble smith had never found it in herself to resent this approach to life. To learn from one's mistakes, one had to find the courage to face them - or to have it all thrown in their face, just as Runi had done for her. And yet, there was something more than that. With her Clan so cruelly taken from her at a formative period of her life, Jenn had received precious little in the way of affection, largely raising herself on her own for the latter half of her teenage years. Perhaps that was why she expected disapproval from others, doubly so when it came to those with power. Or, perhaps more specifically, power she respected.

But Runi never gave her the proverbial tongue lashing she expected. No, the shaman was patient, offering reassuring smiles and words of comfort: reminding her of the sheer weight behind one's actions, and how the burden ultimately rested on her shoulders when it came to her actions. And when the Jorhaa'ir began to explain the mire her friend had fallen into, her heart truly ached. As ever, the Speaker was correct: she had seen it with Damsy, and more recently with Alina. For all of their talk of being different from the rest of the Sith, and how desperately she wanted to believe them, to be their friend, still-

The pattern was all too obvious. Choices made, leading to other choices, all justified by one necessity or another. Stars, would she even recognize them? Would their appetites consume the two women she regarded as some of her dearest friends? And even then, Runi's words were not lost on her. Rather than condemning the Dar'manda she spoke of, the wise shaman chose to warn Jenn, to tell her of how such a dear friend had fallen... and that she was perhaps not lost just yet.

A sentiment she had never thought to hear from another within the Enclave, and one that brought her a great deal of relief. "So, I am... not a naive fool for thinking of those souls as distant vod fallen astray, but not yet lost?" There it was again: timidity. An odd sentiment for a Mandalorian to express, perhaps, but then again, Jenn strived to be a voice of wisdom and temperance - and felt oh-so very foolish for doing so at times. The courage and certainty that drove her in the ampitheater were genuine, but so was the soul-deep insecurity resting within her, dating back to her days as a lonesome Crusader, lost and afraid. Before the Enclave, and before temperance made her a kind, yet strong soul.

And her strength of character returned when Runi spoke of the Manda, and how easily it knew her- more than she, or anybody else, could ever hope to know themselves. "I strive not to lie, no matter what", spoke the smith simply, but firmly. Confidence shone brightly behind her words, for the first time since the conversation had begun. "Lies and deception are a betrayal of the self, far more so than a betrayal of another. And if I lie to myself, then I insult the Manda."

All throughout, Jenn had kept her gaze on Runi's features, finding an odd sort of solace from the woman's acknowledgement of her, her attempts to bring her a measure of comfort through truth and wisdom. And now, she felt bold enough to take another leap, the fear of the unknown slowly receding as the shaman proved to have her best interest at heart.

"... maybe locking myself in the Forge and hammering away at the beskar'gam of the fallen was - stupid of me. So long as I feel this, this- turmoil inside of me, then there is nothing I can do to change."

​

 

[Runi Kuryida]

:: SCARIF​

"You are not a fool. You must weigh their words carefully to know if there is truth behind them, when you confront them, and it will be no small task; but there are precious few whose souls are truly Lost. Would it not be a crime to know that you could have arrested their fall, if you had but tried? That you try is enough. Whether you succeed is up to them -- you cannot force them to be something they cannot accept." Runi wholeheartedly supported reaching out to the Sith. As long as the one doing it did not become mired in their darkness, a victim to the same sins that visited those one sought to save. Spiritual drowning was much the same as drowning in a deep pool of water -- the would-be victim can kill the would-be rescuer as they flail in desperation, if the rescuer is not prepared for the trial ahead.

"Well said," the Shaman affirmed with Jenn's comments about deceiving one's self.

Jenn seemed to have found a bit more of her footing as she broached another personal matter. "Perhaps not this time. It did lead you to this moment." Runi regarded Jenn for a moment in silence to afford her the opportunity to hear that comment. "It is only by doing the same thing again and again to no effect that we suffer. Change, difficult as it may be, may be precisely what a soul needs." It would be stupid if Jenn returned to locking herself in the Forge to shut out the world and her troubles rather than deal with them, now that she'd come face-to-face with her problems.

"Perhaps you should come to Resa for a time. To learn about yourself, and how to reach out to others." The Mandokarla did not proselytize to recruit others to their cause. Filling their ranks was not in-itself important. Helping those in need was all that mattered. If Jenn joined, Runi would not be hesitant to accept her; but if she only came to hear more about trying to reach out to those like the Sith, the Speaker would understand. "In fact, there is a... 'former' Sith Lord whose company you might enjoy. She enjoys verbal combat as much as physical." Zlova Rue's standing as a 'not-Sith' was tenuous at best, but officially that was her position -- whether all vod believed it or not. Runi did not believe it, herself, but the woman had not conducted herself unbecoming of a Mandalorian so they had an amicable understanding.

:: Jenn Kryze ​

 

[Jenn Kryze]

​

| Location | Scarif, Small Island
| Objective | Confront. Learn. Grow.
| Focus | Runi Kuryida

There were... oh-so many things left for her to address, still, and yet she remained hesitant. Surely, the Speaker could not bring attention to all of the Nite Owl's worries, could she? The wisdom she brought her was already of immense help to the smith's troubled soul... each assurance that she was no fool lifted a great deal of weight from her shoulders. More than ever, Jenn felt well and truly alone, surrounded by zealots and firebrands, her compassion and patience looked down upon. Treated as weakness, if not a betrayal of what it meant to be Mando'ade. And, with her own people doubting her, then she was bound to start second-guessing herself.

But Runi was so patient. That she even cared to come all this way, onto such a small island amidst Scarif's beautiful seas - that was a sign of care and devotion to the well-being of the Enclave's people she not only understood, but respected immensely. And, if not for the shaman's words, she might have stayed in the self-repeating cycle of pain, returned to her Forge after some time spent letting go of her anguish on Scarif, and found herself crushed underneath it all once more. Perhaps her path lay among the Mandokarla. It would be a difficult change for her, especially after spending so long among the Kayatr'ade... but Runi was right. Change was exactly what her soul needed, if she hoped to break the cycle and truly live.

"You're right. If I keep doing this, then... I will collapse under the weight of all my burdens. Two of my closest friends have fallen to the Dark Side. I have awakened to my presence in the Manda, and it terrifies me. I have no choice but to watch my voice drowned out by that of our more passionate vode, clamoring for an escalation of this war. Stars, Jorhaa'ir, one of the fiercest warriors opposing us in this war, I have grown to call friend - what sort of a fool must I be, to pursue such hopeless bonds in these times? I've been so consumed by all of this, it has begun to strangle me more surely than a rope ever could! My cyar'ika... our bond together has almost been shattered because of it. Because of my... obsession with it all. New weapons, new armor, attempts to find like-minded vode who will stand by me in my message, all of it at the expanse of my time with her."

Glum as she was, there was something truly liberating about the chance to let it all out. To let someone know of her woes, especially when the person in question brought the intrepid girl compassion as well as solutions. Sniffling a little in the wake of such an emotionally taxing outburst of a confession, the Ersansyr focused on her breathing, her chest rising and falling with each intake of air from her gills, her gaze turning away from the Speaker, and the fire itself, to rest on the comforting sight of the sea instead.

"... I think I would like to follow you to Resa", she whispered at last, her curiosity piqued by the mention of a Sith living among the Enclave- and the chance to be taught by the Mandokarla.

Evidently, she needed their guidance, and now... now, with Runi's wisdom and kindness, she found herself willing to accept it.

​

 

[Runi Kuryida]

:: SCARIF​

Runi listened as Jenn expressed more personal concerns, fears, and plights that plagued her. The sorts of things that gnawed at a soul. Thank the Manda they were genuine issues as well. It would have been disappointing if Jenn had ranted about matters concerning the crusade; something external that had nothing to do with her as a person.

"You'd be welcome to stay as long as you like, Jenn. You will find many there eager to speak of anything other than battle. And, if you wish it, you may invite others to meet you there when you are ready. Whatever you need." It was a sanctuary from the wider galaxy to give Mandalorians a chance to find their self once more. Jenn was in dire need of such an environment. Matters of friendship and love were important; losing such bonds were detrimental to emotional and mental fortitude.

"We can stay here as long as you like before departing." The cyclical lap of the waves upon the shore was its own soothing comfort. She could not offer much the same in Resa as Kestri was a frozen tundra, but there were other comforts she might find there in its place. If hydration became an issue, returning to Scarif or some other world would not be impossible.

:: Jenn Kryze ​

 

[Jenn Kryze]

​

| Location | Scarif, Small Island
| Objective | Confront, Learn, Grow.
| Focus | Runi Kuryida

In a way, the Crusade bothered Jenn as well- but it meant precious little to her when compared to the woes that accompanied it. No, the Crusade did not matter to her as much as how it endangered her bonds with that Jedi, put her relationship in jeopardy, and made her feel as if hers was a meek voice, unworthy of being heard. No, the Crusade was external, but the consequences it had on her life were very, very real indeed, bringing about new issues and worsening existing ones.

"Ori'vor'e, Runi", came the gentle smith's voice at last, daring to call the honored Speaker by her name, rather than a prestigious title. No matter how she felt about each individual leader of the Enclave, Jenn held a great deal of respect for each and every one of them - but with one of those people coming to help her, speaking with her as vod rather than a figure of authority. And in so doing, she gave Jenn the chance to move away from fear, and towards healing. "I... don't know what to say. I've never had someone come to help me like this before."

And with that, the Ersansyr turned to look at the familiar, comforting sight of the sea lapping against the shore. It was an unending cycle, a peaceful one, and it brought her a sense of belonging like nothing else. Not even what other Mandalorians could offer her.

"It took me... quite some time to accept what I was made into", spoke the siren softly, and quietly, her gaze never leaving the moonlit sea. "It was never my choice. It was all a game to my captor. And, for a time, I was afraid that my growing to enjoy what I had become was part of some sick plan, or that I was being influenced by some malevolent power. But the more I tried to deny myself, the more it just- hurt."

​

 

[Runi Kuryida]

:: SCARIF​

The dark haired woman gave Jenn a small smile at her gratitude. One that softened at the woman's words. It was one of the greatest downsides to the Mandokarla... their number. Since they didn't put in a massive effort to fill their ranks there weren't countless numbers with which to help everyone in need. Even Runi herself with all her abilities could only reach so many at a time. It was one of life's most bothersome challenges... learning how to live with being content with what was within your reach.

"Few can say they became what they envisioned. As many can say they endured and survived what you have, Jenn. For what it's worth, I sense only your own will in events. You must make peace with it. Accept it. But you never need to do so alone." Runi knew things of which Jenn had suffered did not always have such a... pleasant end. She had seen twisted visages you could scarcely manage the will to call 'living' that resulted from Sith machinations. Sadly, it was not only the purview of the Sith to inflict such harm on others.

"What thoughts have you for your captor, Jenn?" A callous question? Perhaps. A necessary one. Were they still out there? Did she harbor thoughts of hunting them down? Jenn had been forthright so far it seemed a poor time to stop that very moment.

:: Jenn Kryze ​