Private Surprise

[Cato Harth]

Cato smiled in agreement, and then quickly realized what she was getting at. He looked down at Pink, as if visualizing the name on her. Another faint smile crept at his lips, “Serena. Okay. Yeah,” He let the feel of the settle on his tongue for a bit, before he suddenly whispered harshly, “Shit-” Immediately Cato pursed his lips, as if afraid the baby would pick up on his swearing, “My mom is either gonna be really happy, or really mad to hear she’s a grandma now.” Maybe a bit of both. There was a lot they would have to catch up on. What better way to cap off any hypothetical reunion by telling that he had a love child with a mom he didn't even know?

When Inanna spoke again he found himself watching her out of his periphery. He smiled at first, then frowned when she got to the inevitable dour note. Cato just turned to plant a kiss on Inanna’s head, “S’okay…” He murmured, the sound still muffled against her hair. A few moments passed after where he shifted back to his original position against her, watching Pink- Serena- as the contents of the bottle slowly continued to drain, “Those are nice names.” He finally said.

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

“If she’s mad about it, she can eat my socks.” Granted, Inanna didn’t typically wear socks, but still.

It was a brief moment of reprieve from darker thoughts, like Cato’s kiss upon her head. Inanna’s eyes closed, trying to make it last.

“Those are nice names.”

“Yes. Hal was a full-blooded Zeltron. I think his family was more confused that he had gotten married than anything else. They certainly didn’t mind us naming the kids after them…”

Her words were a screen masking the things she longed to finally say, a flood of bottled up feelings. She tried to hold it in, but it was no use. Thinking about the family she’d once had only widened the crack that had already formed in the dam.

“All of this is reminding me of Ophelia and Galahad,” she said. “I used to avoid anything that did that. I couldn’t even stand to be in the house where we all lived together, because it was full of reminders. So I left and went out into the galaxy to forget. Even that wasn’t enough, and I hated myself for trying to forget about them. But how else could I have gone on, when it was my fault that they were killed?”

Despite the agony rolling through her in waves, her eyes remained dry. She was too numb, perhaps.

Cato Harth​

 

[Cato Harth]

Cato listened with a faint smile, letting her share her story free of interruption, but it soon revealed more tragic thoughts. Through it all, she didn’t break, but Cato wasn’t as practiced. His eyes quickly grew wet, and he pressed his forehead against her, “Don’t ever say that.”

Inanna’s tragedy was the kind of thing that couldn’t be accurately described in words, only compounded by the fact that she blamed herself for it. He didn’t want that for her, “Don’t ever say that. You didn’t do that to them. It is not on you.” Cato spoke sternly, despite the undisguisable sadness in his voice.

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

Was he crying for her? This close, she could see the glassiness in his eyes. It made her want to stop talking, and yet she had never felt like she could speak like this to him before now. You understood things differently when you had a point of reference, a means to empathize.

“It is on me,” she said, gently but firmly. “The bomb was meant for me. Whoever set it up, Mawites or terrorists or someone who simply hated my guts, they meant to kill me. I let the children go on the ship without me. I lived, and they died. I share the blame.”

Serena stopped eating, closing her eyes in contentment. Inanna caught the bottle before it could fall, her voice dropping to a whisper.

“I had to tell Hal what had happened afterwards. He was already sick, dying. Some aggressive form of cancer that doesn’t respond well to treatment. I wondered if he’d been poisoned. They had nearly killed me with bioweapons before, pumping the Wretchedness into the room where I was sleeping. He was exposed to it then as well...”

She trailed off, shaking her head as if to dismiss the subject. “Here. You don’t want her waking up in pain from swallowing air, so you have to burp her after she eats. There’s a way to do it without waking her…”

Cato Harth​

 

[Cato Harth]

"You did not plant that bomb. You did not make Hal sick. Those were not your choices." Cato said just as firmly. She didn't force them to enact those plans. The blame was theirs.

"You can't go on believing that any of this was on you," He shook his head, finally handing over the baby to Inanna. He didn't want to sweep this talk under the rug, but they couldn't very well just ignore her.

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

Inanna took Serena, held her upright against her shoulder, and gently patted her back. Cato wasn’t letting the matter of the past go. He was insistent that it wasn’t her fault, but no matter what he said, she did blame herself for her family’s deaths. She had gotten involved with the refugees and their problems, wanting to play the hero, knowing that it would put her and her loved ones at risk. It hadn’t sunk in just how real the danger was until it was too late. She was no longer sure if she would’ve been willing to step into the role of a heroic advocate if she had known how high the price would be.

She laid the sleeping Serena against her chest, holding her tight. She could’ve put her in her bassinet to sleep, but there was no way she was letting go of her. No way.

“I wanted this to happen,” she said, kissing Serena’s head. “Or something like this. I wanted it for so long. But it’s not over, Cato. With your vigilantism, and Maranatha still having problems, I just... I can’t go through it all again.”

Cato Harth​

 

[Cato Harth]

Cato watched Inanna and Serena with a blank expression. Underneath his orange eyes was a storm of thoughts and emotions that never quite brimmed over the surface. He wasn't really sure what to feel, or how to react. Not with everything that was going on.

After several long moments, he sighed, and pulled Inanna in closer, "...Then, you won't have to." Cato shut his eyes, and leaned his head back against the couch. He found himself still peeking out every now and then, as if afraid that Serena was going to up and disappear if he spent even a few seconds looking away from her, "We'll be okay."

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

Inanna was silent. Her breathing had deepened, as if she were drifting off. It was easy to feel drowsy, watching Serena sleeping so peacefully. But she couldn’t rest.

She pondered over how swiftly things had collapsed. How quickly she had forgotten she was supposed to be the one reassuring Cato, not the other way around. But she was afraid, and her fear had gotten the best of her.

Maneuvering her body on the couch, she laid down with her head in his lap, still holding Serena against her chest. “I’m sorry,” she said. Reaching for his hand, she kissed the back of it, then pressed it to her cheek.

“Does this mean you’re keeping her?” she asked. Perhaps the thought hadn’t even entered his mind that he had a choice, but she was posing the question now, just for the record.

Cato Harth​

 

[Cato Harth]

Cato watched Inanna lie down and take his hand. A storm of her own was hidden underneath, but neither really had the energy to express it any further, even if it was the same thing keeping them from rest. His hand ran gently across her cheek, and over Serena's head.

"Does this mean you're keeping her?"

Cato blinked. It had indeed never really occurred to him as being a choice. Even if he wanted to, shrinking the responsibility would still be too much to bear. There was no choice to be made in his mind. But that wasn't a bad thing, "Y-yeah.." He answered quietly, looking down at his daughter, and smiling, "Yeah. Of course."

"I guess this isn't really a good start to being a good dad, but… I'd like to fix that, if I can." He was scared. Very. Of messing up, being a failure, not giving Serena what she deserved in a father. But with a clearer mind, he now had a sense of hope about it all. None of this was planned, but if things were going to be this way, then he would do everything in his power to make it right.

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

"Narsh isn't a good place to raise a kid," she agreed. "I guess we'll have to really get on that 'one big thing' you want to do here, get out while she's still too young to remember…"

"So." Inanna glanced up at Cato. "You're into Zeltrons, huh?"

Cato Harth​

 

[Cato Harth]

"Yeahhh…" Cato mumbled, now finding his thoughts jumping between how to balance these two key aspects of his life. With Serena, it was going to add some serious complications, especially if he actually intended on being a good dad.

Inanna's question didn't even register fully at first. Cato blinked, and looked down at her. Then an embarrassed smile crept across his face, "Oh, hush, you," he rolled his eyes and scoffed a quiet laugh, "Uh huh. Isn't everyone?"

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

“‘Oh, hush, you,’” she mimicked him perfectly, yet still managed to come across as mocking. “No, actually. I only married one because he wasn’t like most Zeltrons. The rest of them are complete fethboys.”

She gave him a sly look. “You know, if Serena is a newborn… and she was conceived only nine months ago… that’s not a lot of time to go from a being a fethboy sleeping with random women whose names you don’t even remember, to totally monogamous…" She trailed off, then added, "Even if I can technically become every woman, that doesn't count.”

Cato Harth​

 

[Cato Harth]

Cato just shrugged at first, smirking as she mocked him with his own voice. As prone as he was to quipping back, something about doing so in a conversation regarding her deceased husband seemed like a proverbial minefield he was not confident in entering, nor did he even want to, "Language~" He hummed instead.

However, her analysis of Serena's conception quickly turned Cato's lightening mood back into one of shame. She wasn't wrong; Given the timeline, Serena was probably conceived mere weeks before he met Inanna. He pursed his lips and looked away, "I guess," What was he supposed to say? Whatever the intent, it felt accosting. Still a sore spot for him, "Most people around here aren't exactly long-term material. Or even looking for something long-term. I dunno, it-" He sighed, trying to find the words, "You were an actually decent person, so, guess you struck a chord with me, or something…" He shook his head and kept his eyes wandering elsewhere, feeling as if he'd just tried to offer some half-assed excuse to cover himself. It wasn't a lie, but it felt like everything he was doing was wrong in this particular moment.

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

Inanna’s tone had been light and teasing, hiding her insecurity. After all, the thought had crossed her mind before, such as while she was away on Alderaan for months on end, that Cato might find solace in another’s company in her absence. She had been relieved to return and find him sleeping alone. But Serena’s existence proved there had been others almost immediately before her, and she knew old habits tended to die hard.

But the shame he displayed only made her feel guilty for “accosting” him. She should’ve just come out and asked him, rather than prodding him and disguising it as one of her dark jokes.

“Hey.” She touched his cheek, trying to get him to meet her eyes again. “It’s okay, as long as you’re committed now. I can’t be mad about this.”

She gestured to Serena. So far she had slept through all their hushed talking like a… well, like a babe, but she probably should lay her down to sleep elsewhere. It occurred to Inanna as well that she hadn’t had anything to eat today, too caught up in the frenzy that follows whenever a baby is left on your doorstep. Well, that and Elfangor had eaten her banana.

Cato Harth​

 

[Cato Harth]

Cato slowly let Inanna pull his gaze back, though he still found it flicking away from her eyes every so often. "I am," He blurted out, like he needed to prove it or something. Cato Harth was a lot of things, but a two-timer was not one of them. Well-meaning at heart, but he carried a guilty conscience that made it all too easy to feel like something he was doing was wrong, or at the very least, not enough. After a beat, he repeated, more quietly, "...I am."

Serena wriggled a bit in Inanna's arms. Still slumbering away, but it was a reminder to Cato to be careful, no matter how deep asleep she seemed. After a beat, he repeated, more quietly, "...I am." It also reminded him of even more things they'd need to get.

"So I guess a crib is next. And some kind of stroller, like you mentioned." He blinked, "Parenting seems hard."

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

“I am, too.” She sat up in order to kiss him. “I love you.”

Another, longer kiss before she got to her feet, carefully placing Serena in her bassinet. “You’re saying that now, when you haven’t even had to change a diaper yet.” She grinned. “Although that’s probably one of the simpler parts. Enjoy her while she’s this small and can’t run away from you, get into dangerous situations, or talk back.”

Inanna disappeared into the kitchen to find something to eat.

Cato Harth​

 

[Cato Harth]

Cato leaned in to meet Inanna halfway for the kiss, "I love you, too," He whispered back, before being pulled into another. Once she stood up, he did the same, giving Serena another long look while she slept, before joining Inanna in the kitchen.

They'd only just gotten Serena, now he was suddenly afraid of the idea of her growing up too fast. It made him laugh quietly to himself while he scrounged for a bit of food. "Well, here's hoping we're not still on Narsh by the time she hits her terrible twos." It would be quite the headache to deal with a runaway toddler in a place like this. He could joke about it now. Future him might find it less funny.

"...You think we should actually take her to meet my parents?" It seemed like a weird question to ask, but it was on his mind ever since Inanna brought up his mom. He didn't dislike his parents by any measure, but it had been a while since they'd had any meaningful contact. Part of him was overwhelmed by the idea of seeing them again. Or how they might react.

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

"...You think we should actually take her to meet my parents?"

Inanna raised an eyebrow. “Sure,” she replied, taking another bite of banana. (She’d found another one.)

“If anything goes wrong or they freak out for some reason, my mom can always be her grandma instead.” It might even get Lilith out of the house for once, brighten up her world a bit. Force knew she needed it.

Cato Harth​

 

[Cato Harth]

Cato settled for an apple, and took a big bite out of it. He smirked a bit, "Probably won't freak or anything. It might just be…a lot to take it, at first. They're good people."

A shrug, "Can always have two grandmas. What's your mom up to these days?" They had spoken relatively little about their extended families in the past, but he was aware she was still around.

Inanna Harth​

 

[Inanna Harth]

“Good.” Cato asked about her mother. “She’s, uh… she keeps to herself. Lives at my house on Erakhis. If I ever move to Maranatha, she’ll probably go with me…”

Otherwise, there was little there for her. She’d been withdrawn ever since the death of her husband and sons, and clung to what was left of her family. Granted, with Inanna spending more time away, perhaps was missing her.

Inanna’s expression grew troubled the more she thought about it. “When do you want to go see your parents?” she asked, not wanting the silence to stretch on for too long. “Would you call them first, or just show up unannounced?”

Cato Harth​