Taking of the Lylek

[Asher Mossa]

Her had was on his chest. Why had he even suggested the alcohol. This was not the position he really wanted to be in. It was too physical for him, much as he desired the touch of a woman again, Asher was not ready for this. His mind was littered with thoughts of his late wife, and watched as they slowly faded to another face, a blonde, Eirene.

It startled him. Why was she there suddenly? How did she have the power over his mind like that. She invaded memories of his wife, including intimate moments.

”I can’t... not unless you open your mind. The bond... it will help.”

The danger of opening the bond was that they would see everything. She would see his late wife, Eirene, and the desire the alcohol gave him now. Yes, he wanted touch. He wanted intimacy. Asher had to even admit that he wanted her, now, but yet he was guarded. Intimacy is not what he wanted from her, just touch, a relief from the tension he knew they both felt.

”If we do though, we will see everything. It will deepen the bond even more. The more we use it the stronger it will be... that’s the risk...”

[member="Umai"]

 

[Valgærd]

Open your mind...

Leaning my head on Asher's chest, I couldn't help but let out a sigh. Perhaps it was the alcohol, maybe his gentleness. Who even knew? But something inside me just seemed to cry out to me, begging me almost to give in. I was... so tired. Not even physically tired, but just... done with everything. With William, with the way he'd coerced me, with the way I'd been judged for it, all of it.

"Okay."

The word slipped quietly from my lips, a small submission, an act of defeat. I was done with the fight. Done railing against this bond, against Lylek for bestowing it upon us and against Asher for being the poor unfortunate soul to be bound to me. With a soft groan, I shifted so I was looking into his eyes. I gave him a slight nod, closing my eyes as even that slight movement sent the world into a fresh spin.

"I want to understand this... to understand you. If you're sure you wanna see everything that's in here..." I clumsily tapped my temple, "then let's do it."

I shifted so I was resting my arms over his chest, my chin leaning on my wrists. Staring into his eyes, I paused a moment. For that moment, time suddenly seemed to stop. As I gazed into his eyes, the haze from the wine felt as if it suddenly dispersed somewhat. I stared into those dark piercing hues with a clarity I hadn't known I had. The longing I had sensed in him, the longing I'd buried from myself, hit me suddenly, fully taking over my mind.

My gaze dropped from his eyes to his mouth, surrounded as it was by his facial hair. I waited for his answer, finding myself unable to look away.


[member="Asher Mossa"]

 

[Asher Mossa]

”We are going to know it all sooner or later. You’ll forget and drop your shields... I’ll drop mine... it’s going to happen. We can either decide when, or be surprised by it...”

His words formed as fast as he could think them. Did he want to do this? Absolutely!! What Lylek had done forced them to adapt, and with William, Umai, others, all in the mix, who knew when they would see each other again. This was the one shot they had to control the outcome. Whatever happened would be because they chose, they decided.

He nodded his head.

”I’m not afraid of what I will find in your mind. I’m afraid of what you will see if I let it all go.”

It was an honest admission, and he knew she was the same. Certain things even the best walls would not keep from the other, but if they focused maybe they could hide a few things. Asher was hiding his desire for her, and his desire for Eirene. They were both so different.

Asher was so overcome by lust, and he feared that if she knew it she would resent him for it. He may have been a Jedi of sorts, but Asher was still human. Would she resent a man that saw her with lust filled eyes despite the intimacy he craved to have with Eirene? Likely she would.

He sighed. His mind opened to her, everything, the tiniest detail. She would feel the rush of his emotions, thoughts, and desires if she was looking. If she wasn’t Umai was about to be overwhelmed.

[member="Umai"]

 

[Valgærd]

Asher and I, it seemed, had the same fear.

He confessed to being afraid of what I would find in his head, and I was only concerned with what he'd find in mine. Perhaps that was a good thing. Perhaps we would be able to trust each other more completely, learn more about the person to whom we were each bonded, as it seemed, forever. Or maybe this was a horrible idea. Maybe our fears would be realised. Perhaps I would see something in him that would prevent me from ever being able to trust him... perhaps the witch would see something similar in me.

But the time for guessing and speculating was over. Either we'd know, or we wouldn't. I gazed into his eyes, letting down all my barriers the moment I sensed him doing the same.

A gasp escaped my lips.

There was lust, burning like a fire from him. But... a name came to the surface. Eirene. As the conflicting emotions crashed over me, I sensed the fear, the trepidation that I'd judge him for finding out these feelings. I saw everything that was the lylek. Now that the bridge was open, he would see the surprise at these feelings, but no judgement. There was no point in pretending there wasn't a part of me that was flattered. He'd know that my blush was genuine, that the reflexive biting of my bottom lip was a reaction not only to sensing the lust that he felt, but admitting to myself that my own was there too.

And he saw me.

He would feel, see, my attraction for him, my longing for the gentleness and care he promised. He would see my attraction to Wiliam, and how ashamed I was of that. He would see the fiery determination I hid behind, pretending that nothing could hurt me. He would see something that no one else had ever seen: the terrified child that never truly grew up, that searches desperately for what happened to her mother, and the woman who hasn't yet accepted that the search will end--best case scenario--with finding bones.

Never had I felt so vulnerable and safe at the same time. It might have just been the bond between us, but there was a level of trust I had for Asher now that transcended any I'd had before. Even as he saw everything that I was, the flaws, the defences, all I wanted was comfort.

"Will... you hold me?" I murmured, laying my head on his chest.

Perhaps that wasn't wise, considering we both now knew how the other felt physically. I didn't care. Let come what may, I needed arms around me right now.



[member="Asher Mossa"]

 

[Asher Mossa]

Lust... Umai was full of it, for William and for...

...

...

Asher...

He could sense it, and pressed into it again to be sure, but she wanted him as much as he wanted her in the moment. It wasn't right, any of it. His mind formed all of the reasons why she should have been angry with him for wanting a few moments of pleasure without seeking intimacy from her. Umai should have been angry that he looked at her as a thing for pleasure when his heart wanted connection to Eirene. She didn't move, she didn't leave. Instead she continued to open her thoughts, her frustrations.

Asher felt the anger she harbored toward herself for wanting William despite the way he treated her. What was more though, Asher saw a scared child that wanted nothing more than to escape the evil that had befallen them. Umai needed a shield.

"Will... you hold me?"

He should have said no. Asher should have said something to stop her, but he stayed quiet. As her head rest on his chest again his arm came around her instinctively. Their shared thoughts had caused the tension in the room to rise again, which had Asher staring at the ceiling of his tent once again. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel obligated simply because they both knew it was a thing they both wanted to act on. They didn't have to. Desires could be fickle, and Asher's could be especially. He denied himself so long out of fear that those he loved would continue to meet the same fate as the others.

Asher did not want Eirene to die because of him, nor did he want Umai to die because of him. The curse needed to be broken, and yet Lylek had bound them.

He had to speak.

"If we act on it... things will just be awkward later," he said, cursing inside his head for even suggesting they do not.

It was typical. Though their bond would not allow him to lie. His words said one thing while his thoughts and desires said another. Which would Umai listen to? Should Asher have even said anything?

[member="Umai"]

 

[Valgærd]

I could feel Asher in my mind, probing it, investigating, retreating for just a moment before coming back, as if to make sure of something.

He saw it all. I held nothing back, letting him see every little detail. Why not? After all, through this bond, he'd find out anyway. I'd never let anyone this far in before. Maybe... a thought crossed my mind. Maybe I needed this. Sure, William had walked on in and stomped all over everything, but there were tiny pockets of myself that had been carefully locked away, tiny aspects that were now open to Asher. He would be the first person ever to have been granted access to see them. What if... what if this was part of Lylek's plan all along? Making me open up to someone?

A soft sigh uncoiled from my chest as I felt his arm come around me, my eyes closing as I enjoyed the warmth and comfort that came with it. There was something about the simple embrace. It was protective yet... simple. No obligation came with that embrace, it was just, instinctive.

At his words, however, I glanced up, raising my head from his chest in order to look into his eyes. My own narrowed, squinting to focus on him as his form was still somewhat blurry. I huffed, pursing my lips. Why did he do that? Walk right up to the edge and then back down? I knew the answer, of course, I knew everything about him now.

"I'm not going to die for getting close to you, Asher." I mumbled, the alcohol still causing my words to slur slightly, "you're not that important to the galaxy as a whole. Now shut up and kiss me."

Maybe if I'd been sober I wouldn't have given him a command and then proceeded to act on it myself. Maybe... if I'd been sober I wouldn't have entertained the thought of kissing him at all. However, it didn't matter as all the thoughts swirling around my intoxicated mind were suddenly swept aside as I leaned down and gently pressed my lips into his.

Oh goddess I hope this wasn't a bad idea.

[member="Asher Mossa"]

 

[Asher Mossa]

”I’m not what...” he said with a stunned expression on his face. It wasn’t her manner that had him somshocked, they were both too full of alcohol to be in control. What set Asher into a stunned moment was that she simply blew it off and told him to kiss her...

It was exactly what he wanted to do. Asher wanted to give in and follow through on everything his mind was thinking, but he shrugged. Was she serious? She knew about Eirene. She knew that even if they did act on what was in both there minds he wasn’t going to ever want intimacy from her. It was lust pure and simple. Before he could rationalize anything, he kissed her.

His lips pressed to hers, and lingered.

”I shouldn’t have done that...”

Asher looked away from her. This wasn’t right. There was no way using her as an object of his lust was going to end well. It simply wouldn’t. There was undeniable tension between them, but his mind was obsessed with Eirene. Like [member="Umai"] she was scared because of him. When coukd have died, but Asher saved her.

Why did he kiss Umai again then. His lips pressed to hers once more, the alcohol driving him, their connection. It had to stop. He pushed her away.

”I cant take advantage, not of you... not her... I’m not William... and I’m not revenge...”

 

[Valgærd]

Everything stopped.

Suddenly, I felt lips pressed against mine. As my mind processed the words Asher had said, he kissed me. In that moment, everything stopped. My heart froze in my chest, the dull thudding and spinning of my mind melted away. My breath caught in my throat. Without quite realising what I was doing, I kissed him back. His lips were warm, his embrace comforting. For that moment, it didn't matter what I was. It didn't matter to whom I belonged, what had been taken, where I was or what my fears were. It only mattered that he'd kissed me, in a raw and unadulterated moment of pure emotion.

In that moment, with our bond through the force, I'm sure he felt everything I did. Too tired, too done with it all to hold everything back, it would not have taken much for him to feel this sudden influx of just complete serenity.

But of course it wouldn't last.

He broke the kiss, pulling away shyly. His face turned away, his eyes downcast, as he quietly said that he regretted having done that. Those words stung. Was I... so tainted that such a pleasant gesture couldn't be enjoyed? Or was it not as enjoyable for him as it had been for me? After what had happened with William, and now this... was I wrong, somehow? I stayed where I was for a moment, unable to move as my groggy, alcohol-clouded mind struggled to process everything.

Then he kissed me again. Still coming to terms with feeling like I was unwanted, I once again felt it all swept aside as his lips pressed against mine, some power beyond our comprehension closing around my heart and calming it. Then, just as I once again began to slip into that blissful, peaceful moment, he yet again pulled away. He spoke about how he couldn't, how he wasn't William, he wasn't about revenge. I opened my mouth to snap at him, to vent this frustration at being granted a taste of something safe, only to have it whisked away. Perhaps, if this was anyone else, I would have spoken. But... I stopped.

I could feel it; the turmoil of his own mind. He wasn't seeking to hurt me, he was... trying to protect me, us both in fact, from doing something we might both regret. How could I blame him for that? The first man I'd met who actually had the drive to protect me, protect us both. How could I be mad at him for that?

"I... understand." I murmured in response, "... if that's what makes you feel... safe..."

A slight yawn cut me off, one that ended in a soft purr.

"You're not... taking advantage... Asher. Besides, I'm the one... getting... revenge..."

Provided, of course, slumber didn't take me as it threatened to do so now.


[member="Asher Mossa"]

 

[Asher Mossa]

She didn’t seem to understand what he was saying. No matter how much his body ached for physical intimacy of any kind, and while he listed after this woman he had only just met, he could not bring himself to do what she wanted. He wasn’t going to be some simple tool for revenge. He respected himself too much to let her use him that way, and she should respect herself enough than to throw herself at him for that purpose.

Asher sighed. The taste of her mouth was still on his lips, as was the mead she had been drinking. They were both under the influence of alcohol, and certainly this wasn’t wise. This wasn’t a decision to make while they were both intoxicated, even if she was moreso than him.

”Umai, this isn’t right, and you know it,” he finally said. His hand ran along her cheek as his eyes caught hers. ”I cannot lie to you, our bond won’t allow it. I am physically attracted to you, but that’s where it ends. You are still a stranger to me, and while I have not been with a woman since my wife passed, I certainly am not going to take advantage of someone who is drunk to get what I want. If I can’t woo a sober woman I don’t deserve to have her in my bed.”

It was blunt, but it was Asher. He wanted the physical contact, he wanted many things, but it didn’t mean he was going to take them. Mostly he wanted to love again and he loved, and this moment certainly was not that. It was lust pure and simple.

”This isn’t about love, Umai, and that should bother you...”

[member="Umai"]

 

[Valgærd]

I squinted at Asher, doing my best to focus on him as my head felt heavy and my eyelids drooped.

He was talking, but all I could focus on was the feeling of his hand on my cheek. It was soft, comforting, warm. It was... quite the juxtaposition to the way his words stung. Something stirred in my chest, a seeping, fluid pain that flowed into my limbs and leaving a lump in my throat. I... wasn't used to being rejected. Was this even a rejection? Maybe, sort of. Still, it was something I hadn't experienced in the past. But what hurt the most wasn't that he turned me down, it was that he was right.

Which meant I was wrong.

Why didn't that bother me? He was right. The little awkward conversation I had gotten from my uncle when I'd become a woman... he'd said something similar. Save it for when you love someone, Umai, he'd told me. It was one of the few instructions of his that I'd taken to heart. Yet... simultaneously one I hadn't been able to uphold. Was I broken now? Love didn't matter to me, not right now. Was I wrong? Had... Had William done this to me? Or was I always like this, and just hadn't had the opportunity to find out until now?

All these thoughts swirled around in my head, and no doubt in Asher's as well thanks to our still-fresh bond from Lylek. With a sigh, I rested my head on his chest, closing my eyes as the seductive tendrils of slumber began to claw at my fraying mind.

"I... you're right." I mumbled with a sigh, listening to his heart beat as his chest rose and fell beneath my cheek, "it should. It... will... tomorrow..."


[member="Asher Mossa"]