Private Tales From the Front I: A Sudden Sunrise

[Ryv]

// Muunilist // Harnaidan //
// Weeks into the Siege of Muunilist //
// Following Operation: Nightshade //
// Allyson Locke //

​

While the surprise attack on Muunilist saw success in interrupting the supply lines along the Braxant Run and managed to break through the outer defenses of Harnaidan, it was far from the end of the battle. Ryv, alongside many other soldiers of the joint New Imperial Order and Galactic Alliance's forces, chose to remain behind and continue the fight. Weeks of battle saw the Sword of the Jedi engaged with the infamous Blackblade Guard of the Dark Lord, as well as a plethora of other threats to their continued push for the city. The organized assault of the initial engagement eventually fell into smaller forces across the capital city of Muunilist, acting more as guerilla fighters than a large-scale military when necessary. Ryv found himself apart of blockade runs within the city, search and destroy ops targeting key points and weapons under Sith-Imperial control, and all-out dogfights above the city itself. He hadn't seen as much death since Kintan, and it truly frightened him to think about what the next battle would bring.

Returning from a series of night raids on Blackblade held positions, Ryv wished Maynard well before moving through the lower levels of the makeshift command center. The Muun people seemed to favor their fortified banks and businesses, which made breaking the defenders a painful ordeal every step of the way. Fortunately, once the offenders managed to gain some sort of hold during the slow crawl through the city streets, it had proven almost impossible to break. The scarring throughout the particular hall he traversed was proof of that, given the defense they were forced to hold against a surprise attack led by a group of Sith Legionnaires. Had it not been for Maynard's quick thinking and Ryv's rallying presence, their hard-earned ground would've been as good as gone. The two Jedi proved more resourceful, choosing to instead draw their enemies through the halls and collapse fragments of it upon them. It wasn't the best way to go, but it got the job done. By the time the majority turned to paste, the remaining loyalists had surrendered to the two Jedi, accepting their place as prisoners of war.

Ryv tugged off his scarred jacket and tossed it atop his cot, his lightsaber following it as the sound of his boots, hitting a nearby desk echoed throughout the impromptu room. He rubbed at his eyes and dropped down onto the chair adjacent to the said desk. In no time, the Jedi Knight began tapping away at a datapad, taking down the events of his day in the provided journal. It helped keep him grounded, reminding him of why the Alliance agreed to join the war in the first place. Nothing good came of war, but allowing the Sith Empire to maintain control of so many planets meant even worse for the galaxy. The rational provided him a measure of ease, even if a part of him questioned the truth of it all. The Jedi Knight looked up from the datapad, meeting his gaze in the small mirror provided to him. Dark spots decorated the space beneath his eyes, marking the exhaustion he'd felt since taking up his blade in the name of peace.

"You know, Dad, I wanna believe you'd approve of what I'm doing here," Ryv muttered to no one in particular. "You were a warrior, fighting the One Sith alongside so many other good Jedi. Am I letting you down by joining up with Tavlar and the rest of his Imperial Order Or am I doing what's best for the galaxy?" he pushed the datapad away and leaned back, feet propped up on the desk. "These are the hard-hitting questions, huh?"

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Harnaidan, Muunilist //:
//: Returning to the Front //:
//: Safe & Sound //:
//: Ryv //:

The road to victory was never paved with gold, and it was paved with the blood and tears of the fallen. Allyson stared down at her hand, blood still stained her gloved hand, and it hurt knowing that the blood was that of her closest friend. She turned her hand over and noticed the coloring of the stain nearly coated the entirety of the leather. Allyson felt her throat tighten as her breathing shuddered. The image of Loske on death’s door haunted her, the images she had experienced through her bond with Ryv during the initial assault, and the time he remained on the front. Every fight she watched, every time he felt pain or sadness, she felt it. Clutching her chest, Allyson did her best to find her breath as the world closed around her. ​

“Commander?” A soft voice called her, and the Corellian looked at the open door and blinked quickly. “We’re arriving.” She nodded, “Thank you, Lieutenant.” The powered elevator creaked as she found herself leaving the Intelligence floor of the fortified building. She had only returned a few days ago, or something like that. It felt like she had never left, but the memories of rushing Loske to the medic remained fresh to remind her she had abandoned her duty. He was here, and he had come back. Allyson nearly broke down, the constant battering of her sanity of his fights - fearing that she would one day feel that connection break, yet it never did. ​

Allyson moved down the hallways, feeling him through the Force. She needed to see him, to feel his hold, and make sure that he was still real. With a connection like the pair had, it wasn’t hard to find the Jedi Knight. Emerald eyes laid upon him, Allyson stood frozen as she tried to etch the sight of his form into her mind - never wanting to forget. Ryv, her voice cracked and was no louder than a whisper. She spoke his name, only for herself, a reminder that he was who she was looking for. ​

She left him to his thoughts as she worked up the courage to see him again. A part of her was riddled with guilt, knowing that Loske had been hurt. Allyson had promised that she would protect their people, Loske was family, the closest to a sister she had ever been. It took her a few moments to gather the courage to face the man, and she wanted to be at his side in combat, never to leave him alone as he had promised her. ​

Hand resting on the door frame, she spoke a little louder, a smile crossing her face as she knew that this was real and that he was still alive. Her heart raced as her love for him warmed her soul and their bond. “Hey there, Soldier, you’re a sight for sore eyes.”​

 

[Ryv]

// Muunilist // Harnaidan //
// Weeks into the Siege of Muunilist //
// Following Operation: Nightshade //
// Allyson Locke //

​

Ryv's hands rested at the base of his skull, propping his head up to keep his eyes on the room's ceiling. He stretched out comfortably, using the chair as a pivoting point holding the majority of his weight, while his feet anchored him down to the room's desk. Allyson likely caught the Jedi Knight doing absolutely nothing after his mental musings, as it wasn't uncommon for Ryv to fall inward and focus on whatever flickered through his mind when alone. It happened to be the primary reason the Kiffar found himself second-guessing his actions and himself. Too much time alone with one's thoughts, a practical echo chamber of self-deprecating ideas, didn't help anyone. Yet, he still failed to keep his mind clear of such opinions, especially after a physically and mentally exhausting night of serious raiding. He'd fallen so deep within his thoughts, Ryv hadn't even noticed her arrival until she spoke up, calling his attention to her with the briefest of greetings.

"Oh, Allyson, I didn't realize you'd arrived," Ryv's body shifted too quickly, the chair dancing precariously beneath him before his feet braced down on the desk. Calmly balanced in place once again, the Jedi carefully guided the chair's legs to the floor, pushed back from the surface, and stood up to face his late-night visitor. "Yeah, the feeling is mutual, come in, come in," he guided her towards the simple cot, dragging the chair behind him as he did so. "How's Loske? Maynard told me what happened? Is she going to make it?" the worry hung heavily from his words, his shoulders visibly slouching as the weight of it all fell upon him once more. "I've been so busy. I haven't been able to get in touch with anyone at all. Tavlar hasn't slowed the assault, he's only changed how we approach all this shit and-," Ryv stopped speaking, choosing to take a deep breath instead.

"You know what, I'm sure you'll tell me," Ryv reached up and rubbed at his neck, seeming to massage away the tension. "I'm sorry for barraging you with all this. I'm sure you're not too keen on talking about it, given you're both close," his gaze dropped to the floor, locked on the slate gray surface. Truth be told, he worried deeply for his fellow Kiffar. Regardless of how things turned out, he considered Loske one of his closest friends. Allyson and Maynard knew a lot about the Sword of the Jedi, potentially more than the brave pilot, but they'd served side by side longer than the rest of them. Their former loyalties to the Grayson Imperium saw a plethora of missions taken before Maynard even came into the picture. "I'm sure she's gonna be fine," he assured himself, eyes shifting back to his guest.

"How are you, Allyson? I see you made it safe and sound after the engagement with Carnifex, but you know, how are you up here?" Ryv tapped his head with a finger. "I saw what happened back then, and you know that. It must've been difficult to face all that the way you did. I'm proud of you."

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Lucky //:
//: Harnaidan, Muunilist //:
//: Returning to the Front //:
//: Safe & Sound //: Ryv Loske Treicolt

They were alike in that way, finding themselves consistently lost in their own thoughts. Analyzing what just happened and if there was a way of finding a route that was not thought of before. Allyson used to think it was her way of becoming a better agent, a better shadow operative, but in reality, it was her self harming. She forced herself to return to the worst parts of her mission, reliving them, and never finding an answer she was satisfied with. It was a vicious cycle the pair partook in. Maybe they could fix that for each other. ​

Sitting on the cot, the Corellian placed her hand on his leg. She could sense the worry in him about one of his, no, their closest of friends. Loske was family to the both of them, she was the one that you went to when you were sad and when you just needed someone in your corner. Loske seemed to always know the right thing to say and how to say it. Full of emotion and grand gestures, it is how life should be lived. It inspired Allyson and made her want to be a better person. The Jedi Master owed Loske her life in so many ways, the brunette knew that she would ever be able to repay the bright Kiffar. Giving his leg a small squeeze, Allyson nodded. "She's good. She made it, I was able to get to her in time. When I left, she was still in the hospital, awake, and out of harm's way - if she wasn't, I wouldn't have come back." Allyson paused and drew her hand back to her lap. "I never left her side while she was there. I wanted to make sure she knew that all of us were waiting for her to make it through." ​

Allyson knew what it was like to wake up without someone there, waiting for you to come back. It was a horrible feeling, and remembering it made her chest tighten, knowing that it had happened so many times before. She cleared her throat and smiled softly, seeing Loske after the fight; it nearly brought Allyson to tears again. "She's going to be okay, don't worry." ​

Upon hearing that Tavlar hadn't stopped the charge, Allyson wondered if the man was aware of the strain it was putting on his soldiers, especially the one in front of her. Seeing the bags under his eyes, Allyson figured he wasn't sleeping well or even at all. A quick spark of frustration fluttered her emotions, but she was a seasoned soldier, she couldn't let her emotional attachments get in the way of her duty. Ryv was doing his job, and all the Corellian could do was support him. That's why she was here again, her work was more intelligence-based, but with her skill set, it pushed the intel that was needed for the troops to push back the elite guard the Emperor unleashed. ​

Sighing softly, she had tried her best to keep her mind off Carnifex. What she had seen after striking him with the force light arrow, was nightmare-inducing. Tilting her head back, she closed her eyes and relaxed, her shift from Intel earlier weighing on her mind. Despite her finding Carnifex that day in the field, they weren't able to apprehend him. So the NIO was hoping to strike gold twice with her. "I had a feeling you had seen it." she spoke, remembering seeing his side of the battlefield as well, "I don't know how I am. I survived, unlike a lot of people that face him. Yet we didn't catch him." Her gaze fell back on him as she straightened her posture and head. "It felt good, I hate to say it - knowing that I made him feel pain, it felt good." Guilt rolled through her as she knew to cause pain was very unjedi like, but it was human - to make the one that tormented you feel that same pain. ​

"I returned a couple of days ago. I heard from one of the intel operators upstairs that you were still out on a mission. I'm going to hunt him again. This time he won't get away." Scooting to the end of the cot, she reached out. Fingers caressed his tired face, her eyes resting on him, looking at him for how precious he was to her. She loved him more than anything in this galaxy, and being with him now again made her feel whole. Wanting to comfort him, she ran her hand through his hair softly. The silence was brief, and she continued, "How have you been holding up? Maynard?" Her hand began to pull away once more, "I'm really sorry for keeping you up, I just needed to see you - see how you're doing."​

 

[Ryv]

// Muunilist // Harnaidan //
// Weeks into the Siege of Muunilist //
// Following Operation: Nightshade //
// Allyson Locke //

​

"You know I can't tell you how to live your life or what to do, Allyson," Ryv's hand found hers, squeezing it firmly. "I get it—your desire to hunt him down and apprehend him. Hell, I even get that enjoyment in seeing someone you hate in pain, but you know damn well you aren't a threat to Carnifex," he met her gaze, his words in no way challenging. "You're punching way above your weight class if you decided to scrap against him. The dude has seen so much bloodshed in his time. We couldn't begin to imagine all the terrible shit he's done, Ally," the Kiffar leaned forward in his chair, inching closer to the woman while finding some alleviation from the tension growing within his body. "The New Imperial Order is fighting this war. We aren't here to win it for them, we just don't have the manpower. Leave Carnifex to the Executor, or Lord Vexen, or Zovesa. Leave him to the people who've trained their entire lives to kill people like him. That isn't our fight, at least not right now. The Jedi aren't strong enough, and the Galactic Alliance can't afford to lose us. We're the first and last line of defense to the Core. When Tagge agreed to let us fight beside Tavlar and his Imperial Order, it was under oath we'd not allow ourselves to be used or abused by them."

A gentle brush of her thumb met Allyson's senses, Ryv's mind still racing a million miles an hour as he tried to comprehend recent events. Her admission to continuing the hunt clearly didn't help his already anxious state of mind, so the Jedi Knight took a moment and fell silent, focusing his breathing to center himself. It took a moment, but the anxiety that gripped him soon fell away, replaced instead by the calm he so desperately held onto.

"Like I said, I can't tell you what to do, so just be careful, I guess," Ryv tugged a leg atop his chair, propping his chin on the top of his knee. "I've been alright. These raids seem like they're working, but I honestly don't know. At the moment? They're almost as bad as the initial siege. Shit is exploding everywhere, people screaming, sudden violence at the drop of a dime. Feels like you're transported from one place to another in the blink of an eye," the Jedi Knight's gaze shifted to his bloody and stained boots. "But the scraps themselves end so quickly. It's like the nether on Muunilist for maybe a minute, then everything returns to normal once the target is dead or destroyed," he began to chew on the inside of his cheek, the weight proving disastrously heavy as he struggled with the emotional strain the front continued to unload onto Ryv.

"Maynard's mostly fine. He's stressed out over Loske too, but he's burying his head in the war," Ryv shook his head, almost remorsefully. "At any second, it's like he's going to crack and feed into that dark power. So many people do it, you know?" he posed the question with a tilt of his head. "I always used to think what power you used didn't matter, as long as you try and do right by others, but I'm starting to think I'm wrong. The dark side is a slippery slope, one Maynard and Lucien seem okay with walking. I honestly dunno what to do. Feels like they're both gonna crack one day and just be like these fuckers we're fighting," the Kiffar settled back against his chair, stretching both legs out to rest across the cot's surface.

"Don't worry about showing up, Ally. It doesn't bother me. I'm off-duty tomorrow, given its been over a week of continuous runs. Next couple days after that, I'm on shift, I guess. No guarantee whether I'm fighting or not, but if things get too hot anywhere, couple squads like mine are expected to handle it. Emergency deployment, shit like that."

 

[Allyson Locke]

//: Lucky //:
//: Harnaidan, Muunilist //:
//: Returning to the Front //:
//: Safe with Me //: Ryv

Her hand fell into his, and his squeeze was comforting, a reminder that he cared. When he started, her body tensed, expecting a scolding for her mission to find the Emperor. His words weren't as sharp as she expected, her face showed her surprise as she looked at him. He was tired, and she nodded, understanding what he was saying. Allyson knew she had escaped by the skin of her teeth, the worst injury she had gotten was the strain on her wrists and forearms. They were still bound and had some support, she knew her limits, a realization as of recent.​

Evils of the Sith Empire, people, never lived long enough to talk about them, Allyson was different. Seeing the experiments that the Emperor would do upon his captives, haunted her quietest and darkest times. At times she could still feel the cold metal digging into her back, dragging through her exposed flesh like butter and no one around to hear her scream. Rolling her shoulders back slightly, she worked through the sudden stiffness from the phantom pain of the ordeal. Her hand squeezed his back, and her head shook slightly. "I know my limits Ryv, I was lucky to survive my encounter with him, heck, survive the three times I've run into him." Her head shook again, "I don't want to test my luck anymore. I'm working upstairs with Intelligence. Going to find him and send it to the NIO." ​

Allyson held his hand as long as he would let her, her thumb caressing his hand to comfort him. Ryv unloaded everything from the front lines, it sounded like total chaos - a hell she wished he didn't have to face. Her body tensed knowing that she experienced these moments with him, being far from him was a struggle, but she had remained with Loske because that's what she needed and because Loske had made herself essential to Allyson. Her walls crashed down around her, and a part of her was scared seeing herself open up to people. Allowing them into her heart, she feared for them. Specifically, the Jedi Knight that sat before her, she loved him. He knew that, but she feared for his life yet trusted him to survive. The man was a survivor, and she admired him for it.​

Ryv leaned away from her, and she tried to hold on to his hand but felt him slip away as he made himself comfortable. Leaning back as well, she peeled out of her jacket, pinched the front of her t-shirt and pulled it, giving herself a chance to air out the shirt and cool off. Resting her elbows on her knees, she propped her head up watching him. The Darkside was something the Jedi pulled away from, for reasons. The dark side was power-hungry and selfish, Allyson had never felt it, but she knew the power she possessed was typically rooted with the dark side. Did that make her any less a Jedi? Hopefully not.​

"The dark side is," She paused. This was a realm she wasn't privy to, she knew she didn't like the dark side. It was the reason Corellia had been attacked, destroyed, and killed her parents. The dark side killed her friends and changed her drastically into this private, walled up, and mysterious person. "It is a slippery slope, its quick power, fueled by emotions. I'm not saying - " Allyson wasn't a typical Jedi, finding rhyme and reason to the philosophical side of this was a struggle, yet she wanted to try and give him a peace of mind. "They're not going to fall and be like Carnifex or any of them. Trust Maynard and Lucian. I don't know much about Lucian, but Maynard - he's a good guy. He could never be a monster like Kaine Zambrano." ​

Allyson wished she had some more wisdom on the Force, but she knew what she knew. Hopefully, it was something that would provide him some peace of mind. She had seen the devastation that the dark side could do, but she had also met those that harnessed its power but was nothing like the monsters in the Sith Empire. It was a difficult concept, and she hoped that Maynard and Lucian could control it, keeping their sanity and not losing it to power.​

To hear that he had some time off from the front lines brought a small smile to her face, it meant that he was going to be safe - away from the fighting. Yet, she knew better than to feel content with it; she was a soldier and knew that at any moment's notice, deployment was within reach. "I'm off the next couple of days. I had come a little early to train some of the intel officers that were promoted. I'll be running oversight for some of the squads, so don't be surprised if you hear me in your ear, Handsome." A hand caressed his leg as she sat there with him. Slowly, the brunette woman leaned forward until she had to step off the cot. Quickly, she brushed his lips lightly with hers, pulling back just as soon as their mouths made contact, staying close to him, "Your belief isn't wrong, everything with the Living Force is about the person who is reaching for its aid. Be their light like you've always been Ryv. Even in my darkest moment on that battlefield, you were there. Being that beacon of hope and light." She began to pull away from him, to return to her seat on the cot. "I love you. Don't doubt yourself; with you, at their side, Maynard and Lucian will be good. We all will."​

 

[Ryv]

Allyson Locke
​

"The scariest monsters are the ones you don't see coming, Allyson," Ryv muttered, looking elsewhere after the brief kiss. He lifted his hands once more, propping them up behind his head as he returned to balancing his weight across the chair. "I imagine it be arrogant of me to think I can somehow keep these two guys on track. I've always had this problem, you know? I don't trust other people enough to make the hard decisions or do the right thing if it comes at a cost," he gazed up at the ceiling, his words reminding him of a similar conversation he had on Tython a year ago, perhaps even longer. "I trust Maynard to want to take care of Loske. Lucien wants to free the people of Serenno, liberate them from the clutches of the Sith Empire. I can get behind that idea too, but if he loses himself to the Dark Side along the way, he'd be trading one tyrant out for another. And who cares if Maynard saves Loske if people die in the process? I love her, she's like a sister to me, but trading lives isn't the way to go," the Jedi Knight sighed, one hand moving to scratch at the side of his head.

"It's all backwards, you know? My thoughts, I mean. I'm an idealistic Jedi who wants as many folks to live as possible. Yet, I'm here on the front line of a war, fighting what'll amount to the bloodiest civil war in galactic history," Ryv chuckled at the idea of it all, his own hypocrisy on display. The Jedi Knight didn't go out of his way to kill people, whether they were Sith Legionnaires or the horrid Blackblade Guard constructed by the Dark Lord himself. Those he bested in the field often found themselves brought back to one of the various command centers established, ransomed off as prisoners of war after questioning. He'd gained enough of a reputation for it by now that most soldiers found him odd, but some of the more humane imperials respected him for it. After all, it's their brothers garbed in the crimson plating, forced to take up arms to defend their home.

"When it comes to the battlefield, I don't doubt myself much anymore. You waste even an instant second-guessing yourself? You end up dead. These soldiers are looking for that instance of brief hesitation to cloud your vision or stall your body. The moment they see it, they shoot. And no matter how good you are with a lightsaber, they're going to hit eventually," Ryv's hand subconsciously fell to his right side, likely hovering over some sort of wound. However, by his body language and relaxed pose, one could guess it had time to heal. "The moment I step off the battlefield, though? When I'm no longer worrying about the lives of my men? When I put down the mantle of Sword, set my lightsaber on my desk, and lay my head down in bed for the evening? That's when it all comes crashing down on me. How many men could I have saved today? What if I'd known an ambush was prepared for our push? Could I have gotten better intel for our boys before sending them off?" the Jedi Knight climbed atop the cot beside her and rested against the wall. A monotonous thud emanated from his position as he repeatedly banged his head against the wall. It didn't appear painful at all, given the lack of momentum and slow pacing.

"I'm glad you guys are willing to follow my lead and work beside me, just like I'm glad so many soldiers trust me even though I'm barely more than a kid. I just wish I had the answers," Ryv's eyes began to glisten, reddening as his emotion finally got the better of him as tears slowly formed. "There's so much pain and death here, just like Kintan, and just like Coruscant after the One Sith. I don't know what to do to fix it, Allyson. I'm not strong enough."

 

[Allyson Locke]

Ryv ​

He continued to unload everything that was weighing on his body and mind. Allyson could feel everything he was going through, and it broke her heart. Their feelings mirrored each other, but she wanted to take his pain away and bottle it up inside of her. Alas, she sat across from him, lost with what she could do beyond just being there. Allyson understood his feelings, the fear for your comrades, and the desire to do the right thing.​

The parallels to their experiences with the dark side of the force were uncanny, and she understood his fear. To even know someone that she knew and promised to look out for was dipping their hands into the fountain of power that came with the Dark side was terrifying. "It's not arrogant to think that. You have to hope that your bond to them is stronger than the power of the Dark side. I believe you're friends with them for a reason, beyond by chance. I know it's not the answer you want, but you have to just trust them. Trust that they can make the right choice." Allyson knew that even if it came down to it, she would struggle to choose her duty over saving him. The Corellian had very little to anchor her down, and she would risk everything to keep from losing it.​

Moving slightly so that he could climb up on the cot with her, Allyson looked at him. She could sense the tiredness and frustration pouring over him. Her hand found his as she held it and pulled them together into her lap. Both of her hands comforted his one, listening to he put all his frustrations into the air. All she could do was be a stable footing for the man she loved.​

She watched as the crack widened, and his emotions spilled over. "Ryv…" They were both children of war, being called to take arms for the adults far too young. Being forced to make choices that killed someone no matter how hard you tried, that wasn't a choice a twenty-year-old man should be making. Yet, the man beside her walked with the hopes and dreams of the Jedi Order. Her heart grew angry. She was mad with the other Masters who refused to take up arms. They would rather sit inside the temples and pretend they were doing something right.​

Allyson looked at him; a hand cupped his face trying to comfort him. Seeing him this way, only proved to her that her previous life in the Alliance had failed the future. "You are strong enough. You're stronger with all of us there to help you carry the burden." Her thumb brushed his cheek, wiping a tear away. "You can't carry this weight on your own, it's why you have me, Loske, Maynard, Lucian, and everyone else with you." Bringing his hand, she kissed his calloused fingers and then sighed softly, keeping his hand close to her.​

"None of us have the answers, we have to keep pushing forward. We follow you because we believe in what you believe in. You've saved so many people, I know it's not enough, but with the bad, you have to find some good in what you're doing." It hurt to see him like this, but he needed to let it out, "We're going to stop the Sith Empire, we're going to have the peace that we keep fighting for." Allyson knew there was nothing she could say to fix any of this or to make him feel better. There was no feeling better after a battle where people died and would no longer see their families. Maybe she was learning to be selfish and found that the man beside her being alive made it okay to feel that happiness. "I'm here for you, Ryv, and I've told you before I'd follow you to Chaos and back. You watch everyone's back, and I'll watch yours."​

Letting her hand fall from his face, she scooted as close as she could to him, resting her head on his arm while Allyson continued to run her thumb along his hand as she held it.​

 

[Ryv]

Allyson Locke​

"Yeah, yeah," Ryv muttered, leaning closer to her as he considered the truth behind each word. He'd heard it all before, how he could rely on his friends to help him shoulder the burdens of leadership. It didn't take a genius to realize such things, especially with the kindhearted support of Allyson and his other friends, but something just seemed off. Maybe the constant bloodshed and battle put the Jedi Knight off balance, making it more difficult than necessary to find something to ease his troubled mind. Shaking the thought of his friends' continued use of the dark side jus proved impossible, especially in the face of the Sith Empire. A part of him needed to share these troubles beyond Allyson, likely to Maynard or even Loske. Ryv just couldn't imagine what he'd hear in response. Would they judge him for his more traditionalist ideals? What would their rationale be? How many before them argued they could master the power of the dark side to bring change, only to eventually fall victim to it as all others had?

Such a train of thought only darkened Ryv's already struggling mood. Rather than push his luck further, the Jedi Knight shrugged his shoulders and focused on his breathing. Paying attention to his breath always calmed the nerves. Before the Jedi or his friends, Ryv had Cedric. And while Ryv's master succeeded in many ways, the title of Imperator hung heavily upon his shoulders. It didn't leave much time to help his young apprentice cope with the many afflictions his life had brought him. In turn, Ryv sought peace in his own way. Isolated meditation wound up being one of the more reliable means, soon joined by conditioning and training.

"As much as I love complaining about all the shit I'm going through, I feel like anything else would be a better topic," Ryv spoke up after a moment of quiet breathing. "The war sucks, I think we can both agree on that, so I gotta know, what do you want to do after all this shit? We beat the Sith, the Empire has fallen apart, and the New Imperial Order doesn't take their place as the worst people in the galaxy. What would you want to do?" he posed the question as he pulled away and repositioned, his head finding use in Allyson's leg, using her thigh as a pillow. "I think for me, I've got a few things. I'd break em down into either responsibilities or recreation. As per usual, there is so much to do and so little time to do it. Means we've got our work cut out for us, but," he paused, arms rising in a faint shrug. "That's just the way it is."

Ryv dug his holodevice from his pocket and activated it. A worn down and abandoned temple materialized before them, surrounded by grassy fields and empty plains.

"I've always wanted to visit Dantooine, specifically the temple Revan underwent retraining to become a Jedi. I'd like to go, see what it has to offer, but also try and refurbish it. I dunno what Tavlar has in mind for the planet, but I feel like I can convince him to let me pursue this. Its a part of Dantooine's history, just as much as it is Jedi history."

 

[Allyson Locke]

Ryv​

His change in subjects worried her a little. Allyson knew what it was like to stay stuck in the cycle of terrible things, continually trying to find an end to the pain and frustration. Sometimes there wasn’t an end to it, especially when the galaxy was thrust into the infinite Chaos. She leaned her head back, searching and wondering if she would ever have the answers that could ease his frustrations. Ryv shifted, and his head rested in her lap. She instinctively ran her fingers through his hair as she listened to him. ​

Allyson’s half-closed eyes opened as his question was asked. It took a minute for it to sink in. She had thoughts about what could be in her future, but to plan for it to be a possibility? Never. There was so much she could see herself doing and having a life that would have a sense of normalcy. “I’d well-” He mentioned Dantooine, it gave her a moment to think and manage into words of what she wanted. ​

“Dantooine is on my list of places to see too. I’ve only been there a few times - never for sightseeing, though.” She smiled and looked down at him, “We should check out the temple together. I’d like to see it. I’ve only heard some stuff about Revan, and to rebuild something so ingrained in the Jedi history would be amazing.” She felt a sense of relaxation listening to his wants and, in a sense, his dreams, something to look forward to after the fighting. Maybe she could be happy, Allyson always figured she’d die before seeing the war to the end. Death had knocked on her door too many times for her to think otherwise. ​

Ryv gave her a sense of hope, but he did that for so many other people, but he was her hope. He was hers, and she was something to him. “With as much as you have done for Tavlar and the NIO - I don’t see why he wouldn’t let you do what you wish with the Dantooine Temple. I mean, what reasons would keep him from letting you take care of it?” Allyson was sure Tavlar was someone reasonable, especially with how Ryv had talked about the man. There was nothing that struck her that he wouldn’t allow the Knight to do what he wished. Her fingers laced through his hair, caressing his scalp carefully as she thought about his question. ​

The first instinct was to say something corny such as I want to spend it with you; I don’t care what as long as I’m with you. Allyson wasn’t going to admit such things out loud, especially when she figured he already knew it through their connection. “Mmm, I’d want to help rebuild the Jedi Order. Help people transition from war times to times of peace.” She mused at the thought of being able to see the Jedi doing what they were doing before the war times - it all felt like a fantasy. “I want to be able to just live, not worry about if I’m going to be saying goodbye to people for the last time.” It felt silly to admit that, but it was a fear she lived with every day, even when everyone ‘s life was on the line. As she pondered her choices, she remembered her friend Jyoti, the woman settled down, had a family, and something beyond the war. The Corellian wanted that more than anything. “I want to settle down, have a farm with a family, or something I don’t know.”​

Allyson laughed lightly as she imagined her planting flowers and trees. “Honestly, Ryv, I think I don’t really mind what I’d be doing. I just want to see and do everything with you.” In her perfect ending, she’d be able to settle down, be with the man she loved, and have a family. “Where else do you want to see after Dantooine? Let's plan to visit every planet, even the ones that no one has ever heard of.”​

 

[Ryv]

Allyson Locke
​

"What do I want to see after Dantooine?" Ryv considered the question for a moment, rolling over onto his side to wrap his arms around Allyson's sides. "Honestly, I dunno. I don't think about this sorta stuff much. I kinda just assume I'm not gonna be alive long enough to actually enjoy anything that we're working towards," he closed his eyes, head seeming to nestle into her lap as he became more comfortable. "It's dark, which is lame, but I don't see many other outcomes for soldiers. Dantooine has always just been number one on the list of places I'd like to go. If I had to pick a number two though, I'd probably say Ilum. Exploring those old caves, discovering a kyber crystal as the Jedi of old used to. That just seems like a real cool time to me," he explained the simple line of reasoning, something commonplace with the young Kiffar. Even with a plethora of responsibilities on his plate, the Jedi Knight did his best to retain what he could of himself.

"Rebuilding the Jedi is definitely on the agenda, yeah," Ryv nodded his head weakly. "The New Jedi Order is just the beginning. If we can get support from the Alliance, we can do so much more. I'm thinking we keep things a lot smaller and free form at first, you know?" he withdrew his hands and rolled onto his back once more, eyes opening to stare up at the ceiling. "Once we've proven we aren't like all these terrible Jedi from back in the day and today, then we can really get to work. The galaxy needs something like the Clone Wars era Jedi. Folks who aren't afraid to get into the thick of it and fight the battle that needs to be fought. I'm honestly tired of all these goddamn peacekeepers too scared to get their hands dirty—a bunch of fucking idealists with no backbone or spirit. Like, who cares what you believe in if trillions of people are dying? What purpose is there in practicing any of this space magic and sword fighting if you aren't putting it to use? News flash, all you dumb motherfuckers, there is no use. You just look like the power-hungry doofuses you are."

Ryv released a heavy sigh, taking a moment to collect himself. A series of deep breaths saw the Jedi Knight more relaxed, the earlier movement as he grew in passion dying away to reveal the tired Jedi beneath the stalwart shell once more. His hand rose, brushing hair from his face as he considered his spoken truths. So many Jedi hid behind the tenents of old, hoping these dead men's standards would somehow see the galaxy better. Maybe Ryv believed those same things once upon a time, during his training beneath his father's watchful eyes. Unfortunately, things didn't work the way they used to. Peace could only be achieved through decisive action and sacrifice, no matter how one wanted to put it. The Silver Jedi Order, former Alliance, and former Republic's failings more than proved it.

"I'm not sure how we'll make time to visit every planet. There are a whole lotta planets out there, Allyson. I'm definitely down to get out there and explore as many as we can, I just don't want to wind up on some hostile shit-show of a world, struggling to survive," Ryv looked up at her, his brow perked. "We're doing that enough against our will. Running into that face first willingly seems like a whole lot of unnecessary trouble."

 

[Allyson Locke]

Ryv​

Feeling him moved, Allyson settled in more. It stopped feeling like they were in the middle of a warzone and like they were back on Coruscant in the apartment they shared. His touch was comforting as she relaxed and continued to let her mind wander - daydreaming of a possible future. Like Ryv, she also didn't think much about the future. With everything she had experienced, the death of her family, her own life regularly in danger, and now both wars against the Sith - it felt like there was never going to be an end. Body tensed as she wondered if she was going to make it - if they both were going to make it. ​

The thought weighed heavily on her heart as she wondered if she could even fathom a future without him beside her. The Corellian suddenly felt her body weak, as her shoulders slumped slightly. Daydreams of a beautiful future full of peace and happiness soon started to fade from her mind, her hand slowing as it moved through his thick hair. She questioned how much time she had with him, how much time this happiness would remain. It hurt to think about, but it was a reality they both had to realize was a possibility. Allyson did her best to remove the thoughts from her mind, pouring them into a place that she did her best to never visit. ​

A soft smile crossed her face as Ryv continued, talking about his plans for the New Jedi Order, how he wanted to keep things free, Allyson nodded along agreeing with him. His feeling about the Masters that had abandoned the fight were ones that she knew about. A piece of her knew that she could be seen as one of those Masters. Unlike the others who had escaped to preserve their power and life, Allyson had found herself deep within the Sith Organizations - working to find a way to their weakness. Her mission not sanctioned by any Order, Allyson was quick to turn over her paperwork and findings to the SIA when she returned to the Core. Her eyes remained closed as she tried to fend off the guilt she felt for abandoning the fight for another, but she nodded agreeing with him. "The Masters of the Force, both sides really, they share a common fear. Those that obtain power live in fear of losing it." ​

So many of the people she had worked with and fought alongside had retreated from the battlefield. It disgusted her, the shadow that fell upon her face as she looked away from the man in her lap showed it. "If every one of the Jedi Masters that I fought alongside, watched rise to power, and began to command armies - if they all just came back even if it was to train the new generation. The Sith wouldn't stand a chance." The Sith feared to lose their power, but for every one Lord - there were millions dead. "The Sith revel in combat and death - yet those Jedi shy away from it, refusing to help." Allyson shook her head, "It doesn't do us any good to curse their names. They're never going to come back and help. Their hubris and gained power are what they value more than the lives of the galaxy. It's better we forget them like they have us." Frustration and anger seeped through her words. So many were her friends, but were they really friends if they decided to abandon her? She had returned to help right the wrong they had done. The new generation was always stuck paying for the sins of the prior. "I want to break the cycle, we have to for the new generation after us." ​

She couldn't help but laugh a little, the mood suddenly for her becoming brighter. Eyes looking down at Ryv as she shrugged. "I'd like to seriously avoid any crazy planets that would rather have us dead than alive. Maybe let's prefer planets with beaches and really gorgeous landscapes." The Corellian mused over the planets she had seen with the white sandy beaches and clear blue water, "I look pretty great in a bikini and a tan that isn't covered with tan lines because of military gear." She bit her lower lip as she shrugged and looked away from him for a moment, her tone changed as she really thought about what she wanted.​

"I think the one thing I look forward to after this war, is not only the peace that follows and that I get to be with you. It's the fact that I just get to be Allyson. I don't have to be anyone other than that. I could lose all the undercover aliases, the stories that I have to keep, everything just gone. I get to just be myself, and that's all I ever want." She paused as tears welled up in her eyes, threatening to fall, but didn't. "I feel every time I go undercover, I lose a part of me to whatever alias I have to keep. It's why it meant so much to me when you reminded me I'm not expendable. I want all of the Jedi to know that and to feel that way."​