Faction That first morning... (Kahne/RNR)

[Michael Angellus]

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Journal Entry:

Have you ever felt unwanted?

I do right now.

My father was killed thinking I hate him. You can’t tell me otherwise. He died thinking I hated him. My mom, she hates me for letting him die. Of course she does, that’s why she won’t let me live at the new house Uncle Caltin got us.

Speaking of Uncle Caltin, and even cousin Connel. Doesn’t he run a Temple? He runs a Temple and sends me here? To be alone? Well, it worked. I am alone. Never been so alone in my entire life. Connel choked me out, but I get it, he is busy, always out working. I get it. Uncle Caltin just completely blew me off.

Am I that much of a burden? I must be.

I shouldn’t complain about this place, this “Sanctuary”? Is that what they call it? They’ve been nice here, but they’re always watching me. I feel like I’m under a microscope. I just want to be left alone. I don’t know why I’m here. I just want out. I can’t find a way out. It’s not a prison, but I just feel like I’m stuck.

My first morning has been a quiet one. People point when they see me, but when I see them they force out a smile. I know what they’re thinking, I don’t care at this point. I just want to go home.. I take a deep breath and step out the door. I close my eyes and keep walking. It won’t happen though. I know it because I tried it overnight.

So here I sit, at the end of the longest table, no one near me, or probably even trying to be near me as I sit here and cry into my cereal. I get it, people lose loved ones, but not the way I did. My world was turned upside down in an instant, and I don't know how to pick up the pieces. I'm lost, and I'm alone, and I don't know how to move forward.

I wish I could turn back the clock right now.

Kahne Porte | Open

 

[Syd Celsius]

Wearing: 451 Suit

Syd knew what it was like to be under a microscope.

To be studied. Feared. Avoided.

Such was the life of a Force Spawn.

Especially one of the most powerful.

She walked the halls of this sanctuary, her ultra skintight red and gold catsuit with its chromium sheen reflecting everything and everyone around it gave her body the optical effect of being a kaleidoscope. It was quite unnatural and unsettling to look upon, despite the curved, athletic frame it covered. All who knew what a Force Spawn was knew her by the catsuit alone, for the catsuit is the traditional garb of almost all modern Force Spawn.

They avoided her like the Gulag Plague, and averted their eyes.

She had visited this world to try and shake the dust of apathy off. She was whole again. She wanted to start over. Wanted to make a difference again.

Wanted to make her former student, Starlin Rand , proud .

So she walked the halls, exploring, uncertainty of this new faction she had joined crossing her exotic, fiery red headed features.

As she wandered into one area she spied a young man crying. He was in distress. In pain from something.

More than that...he sort of plucked at her oldest memories of training Starlin. How he had his moments before and after her, where he had broken.

She could sense his pain. It incensed her that no one was doing anything about it.

So she decided to.

Fetching a bowl of cereal herself, she sat down close by.

"I hope I am not disturbing you too much..." Syd said, suit glittering from the faint light around the room. "I don't mean to be rude. It's just...I saw you sitting there all sad...I thought it wouldn't hurt to try and lift your spirits slightly." she said as softly and politely as she could.

"I'm Syd... what's your name?" she asked Michael Angellus

 

[Michael Angellus]

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Journal Entry:

Huh?

I guess I was distracted. This woman just walked up on me and called me out.

Oh, Sorry. So, I wipe my eyes to mask my processing of what she means. Is she just finding a seat and trying to be nice? No, it doesn't matter. Mom taught me better than that, so I’ll just play this out.

Syd? That’s a cool name. Sorry, I’m just having a bad day. Bad life is more like it. My name is Michael. Her cereal looks better than mine, maybe I’ll try that tomorrow.

I’m new here. Are you one of the teachers? Of course she is, stupid! Why would I ask a question like that?

Kahne Porte | Syd Celsius | Open

 

[Syd Celsius]

"Im hoping to be one of the Teachers ..." Syd answered. "If they'll have me, of course...and it's nice to meet you, Michael..."

He definitely reminded her of Starlin Rand . Lost. Needing the guidance of the Light.

"So, Michael...may I ask what's causing your bad day?" Syd asked, taking a bite of her cereal.

"I know something about bad days."

(Cutaway of J. Jonah Jameson laughing Uncontrollably )

"I know about having worse days, too."

(Cutaway of J. Jonah Jameson and Nathan Bloodscrawl laughing Uncontrollably )

"There are bad days..."

(Cutaway of Nathan violently strangling Syd)

"...and then there are legendary bad days..." Syd added . "You don't have to talk about it. But I'm willing to listen if you are. So, what are you studying?" she asked, taking another bite, doing her best to keep him from being dragged down by his negative emotions. He needed compassion and someone willing to listen without judging.

Because Syd was the least fit of all to judge ANYONE.

She had learned that the hard way.

 

[Michael Angellus]

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Journal Entry:

That’s cool.

They do seem nice enough at this place, and if she was nice enough to sit down with me, the only one so far, then she’ll probably be looked at. I just want to make sure I'm doing the right thing. I don't want to risk making a bad impression or coming off as too eager. I'll just have to wait and see how it goes.

Uhhh I’m not sure I want to talk about this right now. The way she approached it was nice enough but she kept talking about knowing about bad days. Either she’s crazy, a vigilante, or she’s a counselor.

The last words I said(wrote) to my father was how I thought he loved me but didn’t like me. Then he was shot like a criminal in front of me and died in my arms. Wow, I said it all outright. This is crazy. That should have driven her away, but it didn't.

I don’t know what I’m studying. I honestly don’t know why I’m here. I have to eat something, so a few bites should work.


Kahne Porte | Syd Celsius | Open

 

[Syd Celsius]

Syd listened as Michael Angellus at first hesitated...and then told her what had happened...

Her heart broke for him hearing that.

"...I'm terribly sorry for your loss..." Syd said quietly. "No wonder I could feel the core of pain from you at a distance..."

She set aside her cereal.

"The next few months will likely be difficult..." she told him. "But if you know your father loved you...try and take strength from that. If your father loved you, then you know he wouldn't want you to hold on to the last argument you had. He would want you to look at the lifetime before that argument. Don't let that be the capstone to your memory of him, Michael..." she cautioned sincerely.

"As for why you are here. I think you are looking to heal, personally..."

 

[Michael Angellus]

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Journal Entry:

Thank you.

She seems nice enough, maybe she is a counselor. I should talk to her soon. She might be able to help me. I'll ask her about it tomorrow. I hope she's willing to help me. I'm a little nervous, but I'm looking forward to possibly talking to her.

I get that. She’s not wrong. Dad did love me and I know it, it just always seemed like he didn’t like me. Maybe it’s just me. I don’t know.

It’s just… difficult. I mean I know I’m not some great hero Jedi, but my cousin is out there making a difference… my uncle… he’s like “Super Jedi Guardian Man”... he taught me some skills… I could have helped. I wish I would stop talking sometimes. I just keep blabbering on.

It’s just that I wanted to help him. I could have and he just waved me off all mad like… Why didn’t he let me? I’m fast enough, I know I am. The water works came again. I am such a wuss sometimes.


Kahne Porte | Syd Celsius | Open

 

[Syd Celsius]

Syd listened to him, how he felt like he wasn't changing the world for the better around him. This inferred a background of family that took to duty seriously and with pride .

"Trying to make a difference the way your cousin and Uncle make their own contributions will only frustrate you in the long run. You will always be comparing yourself to them instead of trying to make a difference the way you can make a difference." Syd stated. "And when you do that, you will always find a reason to judge yourself short, and so will begin a vicious cycle."

When he started crying again, Syd covered her mouth. She felt an incredible wave of sorrow radiating from him. The nest of minds she was composed of collectively reeled at the grief.

"What do you mean?" Syd asked. "Would you be alright talking about it further?"

Michael Angellus

 

[Michael Angellus]

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Journal Entry:

I...

I have said too much already at this point. I hate that this happened, it’s not Syd’s fault, it’s mine. The first thing I have to do is take a breath and wipe my eyes again. I’m clearly not ready to talk about this. I need to take some time to process this. I’ll go home and come back tomorrow. I need to think this through with a clear head. Heh “home”

I am sorry. I can’t talk any more about this right now.. I pushed my bowl of cereal away a little too hard.

Can we talk about anything else? I could see it in her face that she was feeling terrible. This really sucks, I don’t want to bring others down.


Kahne Porte | Syd Celsius | Open

 

[Syd Celsius]

Syd nodded.

"Alright then..." she said, dropping the subject. He wasn't a parent.

Some day, he would understand why his father had kept him back. Had pushed him away.

But not now. Not with that much grief coursing through him.

"You like fixing ships? I myself have developed a hobby at restoring starfighters. I used to design them too. Made an X-Wing design for Incom." She said, taking another bite of cereal.

"Thought about getting into designing Speeder Bikes also...." she continued. "Anything with speed, really. Fighters, bikes, ziplines..."

She shrugged, taking another bite. Inwardly, all the other minds she was composed of were still worried about his emotional state. She herself knew she would go to pieces if anything happened to Starlin...she could imagine the kind of pain he felt.


Michael Angellus

 

[Michael Angellus]

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Journal Entry:

The last thing I want to do is upset people and I’ve clearly done so to Syd. If I was trying to figure out how to feel worse, I’ve done so. She’s just trying to help and I shut her down and now I feel like a heel. I don't know what to do to make it up to her. I need to find a way to apologize and show her that I understand. I just need to find the right words.

I am sorry. I’m just… I appreciate the effort, but it all happened not two days ago. It’s no excuse but I guess I’m still in shock. That wasn’t going to help, but it was true… at least the subject changed.

Yeah? That’s cool. I’m decent at it. Still learning. I’m a wannabe pilot My father was an Admiral in the Navy but his love was starfighters. He taught me everything I knew.


Kahne Porte | Syd Celsius | Open

 

[Kahne Porte]

He carried a great deal of weight on his shoulders. Anyone who lost something so important to them would understand. The Jedi Master would keep his promise to Caltin Vanagor and do what he could to help the boy. The Jedi Master had been watching from afar since Syd Celsius had come to greet Michael Angellus

There was so much that he didn't know, that he didn't realize. The biggest thing that he would need to know at first, needed to be said. Regardless of whether he wanted to talk about it or not.

"Your father, will always be with you....Michael." The Jedi Master spoke once he was within earshot of him. He spoke with a strong and hopeful voice as he glanced between them both

"Kahne Porte, it's a pleasure to meet you both officially." The Jedi Master spoke with a smile as he extended his hand towards both Michael and Syd

 

[Syd Celsius]

"Two days ago--?" Syd trailed, stunned.

This kid was a real trooper. Or real in over his head. It was likely a mixture of both.

"I had no idea the event was that recent..." she admitted ruefully. "Michael...I will say only one thing more on the subject...Parents...good parents...there are reasons they push their children away at times. Your father was a combat pilot turned Admiral...he probably saw a lot of you in himself. And Parents...good parents...they push them away because it's that instinct to keep those they love out of harms way, even if it comes off as irrational...stubborn...angry. Either your father pushed you away because he loved you but was worried you were not ready yet...or he pushed you away because you were ready and he knew it...but...you were still his son. There are not many fathers out there who would be willing to live with the burden of letting their son into a potentially dangerous situation alongside them...and that son didn't come back because of it. That would be a lot for even a veteran to live with. I think he loved you more than what words could express...and the best way to show you he liked you was to take the burden of danger all on himself..."

Syd would say no more on it. She switched back to starfighters.

"What fighter are you most skilled in flying, if I may ask?" she wondered. "I favor Sienar derivatives, myself..."

She stopped as Kahne Porte stepped up and introduced himself. Syd shook his head.

"Syd..." the ancient red headed light side Force Spawn said of herself, nodding politely. "Likewise, Master Porte."

The red and gold catsuit, the only real sign of her unnatural status, reflected Porte's face with unsettling clarity on its surface. The Kaleidoscope effect of its glittering, ultra reflective nature making her at times almost come off as a living, breathing, fun-house mirror. Seeing it up close was almost hypnotic in a disturbing way.

"You are one of the instructors here?" Syd asked. "I'm new to this faction myself..."



Michael Angellus

 

[Michael Angellus]

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Journal Entry:

Another guy showed up, a Jedi, no doubt, I recognized him. From the wedding. I saw him there. Was he the one who got me out? No, no it was Connel… jerk put me to sleep. Yeah, I think he got me out though. I had a dream. I saw him outside. Something I’ll explore later, but it doesn’t matter now. This guy seemed nice, Master Porte.

I don’t know if I was ready to hear it, I don’t know if it was still the whole “new” feeling to it all, but the words of him and Syd, the both of them, just hit me like a ton of duracrete. I got mom out of there, I could have saved him too… I.. I… it’s just hard because… whimper since then… my uncle… he taught he some skills but won’t teach me anymore… who knows where my cousin is… and my mom? She is living at the house my uncle bought us and sent me here. I remember how I felt at that point. Hurt, mad, still teary eyed I forced out a smirk and a humorless chuckle.

Ever felt unwanted? I sure do. Then I realized how bad this looked and at this point had to man up. So I remember I wiped my eyes. Enough of the “wuss” talk… I’m okay. Hey, I’m 16, what do you expect?


Kahne Porte | Syd Celsius | Open

 

[Mellomere]

Casual Cloths​

The waterfalls around the place had been delightful. The bodies of water below refreshing in a way that the waters around the big city hadn't been with all the humans running around.

This place was quieter and harder to get to. But not impossible for her. That wasn't to say it had been as easy as prying open a mussel or similar but it certainly helped when you could simply climb with extra appendages. Curiosity piqued when she had spotted what looked like bridges spanning the different vertical columns from below as she swam and searched the waters below. Her clothing carefully tended as she moved and maneuvered her way up until metal humans had stopped her.

Or at least tried.

Her words seeming to fall on deaf ears as she failed to convince the metal humans that she was simply looking around. Feet swiftly carrying her towards the building across the bridge that probably had people that could stop the scary looking metal humans that hunted her. Bare feet carefully stepping along the cool floor as she almost seemed to slide around corners and different paths trying to avoid the growing sound of those shiny titans.

While it was terrifying in one regard, this had been the most engaging game of hide and seek she had played yet.

Voices replaced the monotonous sounds as she came closer to a doorway and dared to open the door to slip inside as she spied a familiar looking leg begin to clear the corner of the hallway in front of her. Shutting the door behind her as quietly as she could as she whirled to see the others inside the room. Mouth forming a small o as she seemed to be jumping into the middle of a conversation.

"What's a wuss?" Mellomere stared at Michael once she posed the question. Whatever the word meant, it didn't seem like it was a good thing. Especially when used to describe themselves.

Michael Angellus | Kahne Porte | Syd Celsius | Briana Sal-Soren​

 

[Lorn Reingard]

Tags: Michael Angellus | Syd Celsius | Kahne Porte | Mellomere

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Lorn stood beside Kahne, his own lunch tray held loosely in his hand, his dark eyes focused on the young figure across the vast dining hall. "That's that Angellus kid." he murmured, his voice low. He'd seen Michael at the Hapan wedding, a true disaster of a day. Now, the boy looked lost, his grief a tangible thing that even from a distance, Lorn could feel. He nodded his head, a silent signal towards Michael, before Kahne took off to cross the distance. Lorn imagined the past few days had been a chaotic storm for the young Padawan, especially finding himself in a new place.

Lorn took his own tray and moved towards the table, his movements careful as he settled himself next to a few faces he didn't recognize. A nod of acknowledgement was given to them before he began to eat. The food was simple, seasoned meat and some root vegetables, but his mind was elsewhere as he chewed.

Then, a small commotion broke out, a flash of movement near the doorway as an unfamiliar girl appeared. "What's a wuss?" she asked in confusion.

Lorn nearly choked on a piece of root, a grin threatening to break across his face. Without looking up from his food, he muttered, "Kahne is a textbook example." He teased, his head still down, trying hard to suppress the outright laughter.

He took a bite of meat, his amusement fading quickly as he turned his attention to Michael. He pushed his plate aside, his dark eyes meeting the boy's. "You're not unwanted, Michael," he said, his voice firm. "You're a part of the Shirayan Order now. We're a family here. We will take care of you." Lorn's gaze shifted to the unfamiliar girl, her strange eyes curious. "All of us will." He leaned back. His eyes flicking back to Michael. "Welcome to your new home."

 

[Briana Sal-Soren]

Briana kept mostly to her office since they'd been back after...

Hrmmph. She closed her eyes tight and pressed her palms to them, trying to slam the door on her still broken heart and force those images that too easily bloomed to the front of her vision, back to the corners of her mind. But every time she tried...there was Astor — foot in the door, forcing it to stay cracked just enough.

After the death of her parents, she'd somehow found the will to soldier on. Focus on what came next. Even though every heartbeat had felt like it was strained in the grasp of an invisible fist. At the time, she'd had the end of a war to focus on. Mawite remnants to smoke out and throw the full breadth of her focus into something that kept her moving. That'd made it easier then, in a way, to shove it all down. Ignore it.

But now?

She let out a slow, shuddering breath, dropping her hands to the mahogany desk and blinked several times, staring wide-eyed at the datapad in front of her in a desperate bid to force her mind to focus and cooperate. There was nothing prudent about trying to force herself to be around the students when she was in her current state, Briana knew, especially the younger and more impressionable ones. She needed to be here.

Focus on the work. Stick to the routines. You aren't someone who steps back. Try to regain some amount of normalcy.

But nothing felt normal.

Feth.

Influx reports. Training debriefings on the progress of their students. Council Meetings that needed scheduling.

Things that should have mattered, things that did matter, all of it blurred together into a meaningless jumble of words in front of her. Conceding defeat with a frustrated sigh, the pad was promptly pushed away and she forced herself abruptly to her feet, chair scraping against the floor. Fresh air, something to break the monotony, that's what she needed.

Striding towards the door, Briana paused before she could grab the handle, glancing down to the red blinking light coming from the bracelet on her wrist.

An intruder?

​

Having personally overseen the security of the Temple, Briana made sure herself and Council members were always among the first to get an early alert any time someone arrived uninvited and without prior-warning. Tension coiled through her muscles, heart sinking into her stomach as she yanked the door open, pace just shy of a jog, senses sharpening with each step, adrenaline pouring into her system...

..But as she neared the source of the alert, Briana's stride slowed and her brows furrowed.

A teenager.

Not an intruder in the traditional sense. No weapon in hand, no aggressive stance. Definitely not a terrorist — just some young, wide-eyed girl. Her wrist was promptly turned over and with a few clicks of a button, the droids were deactivated and returned to their posts.

Her gaze swept over the scene, debating if she should let the other Jedi already present handle the situation, until her eyes landed on the Angellus boy. Like her, he'd lost someone important to him in the hell that was the day before, had been shuttled with the rest of them back to Naboo in a flurry.

Briana didn't have to imagine how lost and confused he must have felt, didn't have to feel it in the force to know.

You need to go over there, at least offer something— condolences, a word of encouragement, anything.

But her feet felt like they were weighted to the floor. Fingers curled into her palms, nails digging in to force herself to stay present and not retreat.

Move.

Briana stepped forward.

A beat passed. Two... when her voice finally came, it was much softer and flatter than usual. "He's right, you know." Briana nodded, "You're not unwanted. Not here. Not by us... and we'll make sure that you get all of the help and support you need." The words sounded hollow as they left her lips, brittle and distant, as though she were reciting a script someone else had written... yet she tried to offer the words anyways. Tried to be comforting, tried and failed to step back into who she was.

"As for you," She turned to the reason she'd been pulled from her hiding spot in the first place. "Where did you come from? And where are your parents?" Wrist was lifted to show her bracelet, the light that'd been brightly blinking now dark. "You tripped several of my droids."

TAG: Kahne Porte , Syd Celsius , Lorn Reingard , Michael Angellus , Mellomere



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[Michael Angellus]

​

Journal Entry:

My mother Alyks… She loves her cliches, her phrases. Anyway one of them that would make so much sense right now is “Oh what a difference a day makes”. Or in this case “a minute”. All of these people here, out of nowhere, all of these people here talking me up.

It’s overwhelming.

Stupid waterworks!

It’s just so hard! Here I go again. It was a worse feeling. All I know is I don’t know what to do.

I just… I don’t know how to measure up. I didn’t earn any of this! Now, to be fair, Dad never asked me to measure up or earn who I was. I’m just trying to do what he always did. I won’t fail you, I promise. Ugh, stupid water works. I sound like such a girl.


Kahne Porte | Syd Celsius | Mellomere | Lorn Reingard | Briana Sal-Soren

 

[Kahne Porte]

I just… I don’t know how to measure up. I didn’t earn any of this!

"Do you think any of us did. It took work and dedication, and those that paved the way before us. You don't need to be a super Jedi, a veteran warrior to fight with the best of them."

Kahne shook his head as he looked to Michael Angellus and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"In time, you will find your strength and your courage to know that you simply need to be you." The Jedi Master looked to Briana Sal-Soren and Lorn Reingard with a small smile.

"We will all be here to guide you, and don't worry. Failure is part of the job sometimes, that is how we grow and learn."

"What's a wuss?

"Kahne is a textbook example."

The Jedi Master smirked lightly and even chuckled as he glanced over to Lorn and gave him a playful hit upside his head.

"Where did you come from? And where are your parents?"

"You tripped several of my droids."

"Did she really?" Kahne said with a smile on his face. "That's impressive."

Syd Celsius Mellomere

 

[Mellomere]

Casual Cloths​

Letting her eyes flit around the assembled humans as she tried to put names to faces. The one doing the hitting, Kahne, seemed to be a master of this wuss word. Something violent no doubt by the action as she frowned at him.

Her attention shifting like the tides as someone else appeared and gave her their direct attention.

"Freeport. They are probably hunting." Trying to smile despite the tension that seemed to ride the one speaking to her. Concern gone in a flash as the bracelet was presented along with the mention of droids being tripped.

"I didn't trip any droids! If they fell it was all on their own. Besides, I didn't see any droids that looked like that." Finger poking at the bracelet as she pouted. Being blamed for tripping someone seeming to sour her mood.

Michael Angellus | Kahne Porte | Syd Celsius | Briana Sal-Soren​