Faction The Brightest Stars have Hearts of Kyber

[Matsu Ike]

Caltin Vanagor

Herr nod was the only thing there as she walked with him and paid attention he was walking out into the space and it was empty.. she was staying there and ready but had prepared herself in case he fell over and she would have to drag him back. "If you fall, dragging you back is going to be most inconvenient but doable." She said it and skipped a little to make it seem like she was handling it just fine.. this still wasn't as bad as it could get and she had tested many of the heralds like this before they got into their thousand pound armor. She stopped though and stood slightly in front and to the side of Caltin mostly to motivate him. "Well then if you are just going to be stubborn and keep going might as well make sure you are alright... come on some words of encouragement."

 

[Caltin Vanagor]

“Believe you can and you are halfway there.” - Theodore Roosevelt​

Now she was skipping? Okay, if this was meant to be some kind of inspiration, it was… okay it was working but not in the manner she might expect. It was pissing Vanagor off. She’s had however long she’s had to play in this manner of testing, he realized this without question, and he was not looking to be stronger than everyone. Skipping though? Really? Did she have to just show off like that?

No matter, the weight was not going to stop him.

He would not give up. There was a reason why he was given these new skills, why he lost the focus of his connection in the first place. It was not to be squashed in some testing room like this. No, he was going to push his way out and he was going to fulfill whatever purpose he had to be kept around for.

It’s not… “being stubborn”...

Bellowing a guttural roar as he fought to his feet, the big man was moving a little easier and standing more erect.

… it’s about finding your place in a galaxy that doesn't want you anymore.
Matsu Ike

 

[Matsu Ike]

Caltin Vanagor

She stopped for a moment listening to him and raised an eyebrow looking at him as she stepped over towards him and stayed at the side as she held out a finger. "Poor you." She said it with no tone or inflection. "Everyone dislikes you, everything is against you. This victim mentality you seem to want to adopt in your speech is unbecoming... you have had it rough Caltin.. so does everyone." She kept her finger out and spoke. "No stay, I am talking now... and you will listen or I will turn the gravity up so high it will be like trying to lift a star." She looked at him more like a mother would a child who was in need of a scolding. "Now I will tell you what I tell my daughters when they think things are unfair.. that is life. Life is suffering and how one overcomes it is the real living... if you get drowned in your own morose and giving into this mental state you will not be able to find something that is coming your way to change things."

 

[Caltin Vanagor]

“Out of the mountain of despair, a stone of hope.” - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. ​

So now she was scolding him? Really? Maybe something in him was taking more offense than he was? Maybe he was like some huge irradiated Mirialan beast that grew stronger the angrier they got. Who knows and at this point, who really cares. The woman in front of him was scolding him like he was a whiny child when in fact it was not that. The weight was not even an issue at this point. The massive Jedi Master, yes, he was still one, even if unaligned, stood fully erect and even crossed his arms over each other.

He didn’t know about or notice the energy emanating from his body, how he looked to be powering something around him. He just scowled, but let her finish her little hissy fit. Maybe he sounded that way, maybe he didn’t but the big man was not going to just let this pass. She did not have a right to chide him on a comment, especially one that she twisted to her own end. This would not end the way she or anyone would want it to.

Let me know when you are finished chiding me. I will then remind you that I am not trying to play a victim, I am trying to find my limits so that when I return to being a Jedi, or whatever I end up being, I am not a danger to others. Is that so wrong? Is that “playing a victim”? You tell me…

He was actually starting to do “dip lifts” now.

Matsu Ike

 

[Matsu Ike]

Caltin Vanagor

"And this." SHe held out her arms. "Is going to mystically make you no longer a danger to people?" A look though of amusement was there... oh how she wondered what Je'gan would say about him. "THis is to train and build yourself up. Just because you can reach the same level as others who have spent years faster means little aside from satisfying your own ego." She remained there though and looked at him. "You treat it like you are different then any one else, that no one else has been where you are thinking they could be a danger to others... yet everyone Caltins goes through it. You are just the latest generation." She remained there but was hovering backwards and up. "You can staay here as long as you want, the dilation effects of the chamber aren't just for gravity but also time. So all this time we have been here barely any has passed in the ancilla."

 

[Caltin Vanagor]

“Irony is the hygiene of the mind.” - Elizabeth Bibesco ​

Now who is showing an ego? He thought to himself as she continued on this little tirade. It was funny, @Jend Ro Quill had brought up something to him that was dead on in his jumping in without thinking and making assumptions in the same manner. It was funny that he could watch someone doing the very same thing. He let the tiniest of smiles slip across his face until she was finished. When she told him that he could stay all he wanted, that seemed to be the end of it for Vanagor as he made it clear that he wanted to leave. Make no mistake, he enjoyed the challenge of being in there, but her constant chiding of him wore thin.

Do you know what a “Guardian” personality is? I am not talking about the path that a Jedi can take. I am talking about personality in general. I have that personality, in spades. You are absolutely right that everyone goes through rough spots, and periods of doubt, absolutely right. I am right now and I have never questioned that. This is not about that though. This is me being my own worst critic. What is funny is that I had visited Master Quill before coming here, and I had a revelation there. In a vision, I was face to face with my younger self and he said that I “was not the person he thought I would be”.

Walking out, he gathered his things as he continued to speak.

Thank you for letting me experience this, it was a grand endeavor. However, I believe that rather than stay and make matters worse, even if only potentially, I should leave. I am merely holding myself to a higher standard than I could hold anyone else, nothing more. This?

There was no malice in his appearance or tone anymore. Vanagor was done being angry, but as he gestured back to the machine he was just in, he thought about something else.

Is something that you should be proud of, but it was an eye-opening workout for me. This also served to prove that whatever I need to do, I need to do it out there. Thank you for the droids, I’ll see to it that you are properly reimbursed for them.
Matsu Ike