Private The Days of Youth

[Nouqai Veil]

It had been a few days since she had returned from Myrkr, what they thought would be a simple mission akin to a field trip had quickly became a nightmare. The horrific encounter with the crazy elf woman still plagued her in her dreams, sometimes even jolting her awake in the middle of the night. While she had arguably experienced the brush of death, what mattered was that she was alive. And if there was any good that happened that day, it was that she had passed the trial of flesh.

Nouqai was excused from lessons since she had returned. The council had paired her with a Jedi knight to train under - it was none other than the wookie who had came to her rescue on Myrkr. At nearly 15, it was rather early to start an apprenticeship, but Nouqai thought the earlier the better, and if anything, she was looking forward to it. It was one step closer to knighthood. Nouqai was to leave with him in a day. But now she wandered the temple halls looking for a friend. She had to at least say goodbye, not knowing when she'd be back.

Balun Dashiell

 

[Balun Dashiell]

Nouqai Veil
12 Months prior to leaving the Jedi Temple on Coruscant.

In the tapestry of a Student of the Jedi, each day unfurled its own unique threads. For Balun Vale, this day began with the gentle embrace of horticulture class, where the verdant whispers of plant life intertwined with his senses. Yet, as the sun arced higher, his path diverged from the conventional.

A decision lingered in the air, like the faint scent of petals carried on a breeze. Balun, with a subtle defiance, chose to stray from the expected trajectory, eschewing the confines of his next class, the realm of Lightsaber Arts & Theory. In the corridors of the Jedi Academy, where echoes of clashing blades often danced, he found himself estranged.

For Balun, the arena of combat held little allure, a sentiment that set him adrift among his peers. Though the Jedi lauded such encounters as essential steps along the path of mastery, he remained unmoved. It wasn't fear or the specter of pain that tethered him, but rather a profound questioning of purpose.

Why, he pondered, must they engage in this intricate ballet of strikes and parries, only to emerge battered and bruised? What virtue lay in the pursuit of victory at the expense of harmony? Such thoughts, like fragile petals scattered upon the wind, whispered dissent against the prevailing wisdom.

Instead, Balun sought solace amidst the sanctuary of the atrium, a verdant oasis nestled within the heart of the academy. Here, amidst the gentle cascade of an artificial stream and the kaleidoscope of botanical wonders, he found communion with a different aspect of the Force. In this tranquil haven, where life thrived in harmony, he glimpsed a reflection of the galaxy as it could be, unmarred by conflict and strife.

Unlike the sterile metal spires that pierced the sky of Coruscant, this sanctuary breathed with the pulse of nature's rhythm. Here, amidst the tapestry of greenery, Balun found sanctuary, a respite from the tumult of the world beyond. And in the quiet embrace of the atrium, he discovered a truth that resonated deep within his soul: that amidst the clamour of the galaxy, there existed moments of serenity waiting to be embraced by those who dared to seek them.

 

[Nouqai Veil]

Where she had thought he might be amongst nature, he was. He had an affinity for nature and plants, just as she had with water. It was a place peaceful, although too bright for her liking. The rays of the sun like an assault to her light-sensitive eyes. With a clawed webbed hand, Nouqai shielded her eyes from the glare from above. "Coruscant to Balun!" She called out to him, cerulean eyes squinting.

He should be in class, but she knew well that sparring was not his forte. "I need to talk to you."

 

[Balun Dashiell]

Balun's lips parted with a barely audible sigh, akin to the gentle rustle of leaves stirred by a passing breeze, as he shifted his focus. Nestled beside the tranquil murmur of the artificial stream, he sat in a posture of serene elegance, his legs crossed with a graceful poise befitting his meditative state. The intrusion of Nouqai Veil 's voice punctured the peaceful atmosphere, yet her presence brought with it a comforting familiarity amidst the tranquility. Through shared classes and countless conversations, their connection had deepened beyond mere acquaintance, weaving a bond that soothed his soul during his fifteen years within the Order.

"Hm? Ah, hey" he responded, a playful lilt dancing in his voice as he emerged from his meditation. "What's happening?" he inquired, the unexpected visit momentarily pulling him from his reverie. "Has class been called off?" he ventured hopefully, a glimmer of anticipation flickering in his words, briefly entertaining the possibility of escaping a lecture from their tutors.

 

[Nouqai Veil]

The tentacle haired young teen approached. Unlike centuries ago, not all were bought up and raised in the temple as young as toddlers, but Balun had been around for almost as long as she was. And naturally, there was the bond they shared. Nouqai lowered onto the ground, sitting across him. The ends of her long tendrils brushing the grass beneath.

"No, class is still on. And you shouldn't be missing them." Nouqai chided. How was he to make progress or learn to defend himself in a real situation like what she experienced in Myrkr if he didn't attend those practical classes? "I've been excused. I'll be leaving, tomorrow. They've assigned me a mentor and I'd be beginning my apprenticeship" She explained. While the excitement was evident in her voice, there was a hint of sadness. The temple was the only home she knew. "I'd just thought I'd let you know."

 

[Balun Dashiell]

"There's always another class," Balun remarked casually, attempting to brush aside the nagging internal doubts whispering of potential repercussions for his absence. "Plenty of idiots ready to jump head first into combat without me," he added, a shrug punctuating his words as if to persuade both himself and Nouqai Veil .

As he listened to her speak, mention of a new Master stirred a flicker of disappointment within Balun, though he tried to conceal it. The realization that their paths would diverge, her journey propelling her towards mastery while he remained confined to the Temple's confines, weighed heavily upon him. "That's... good, isn't it?" he ventured, his words a blend of statement and inquiry, uncertain whether this was truly the path she desired.

"Who's your new master?" he inquired soon after, his curiosity piqued. Balun wondered if the name would ring any bells, if this new guide was among the familiar faces of their instructors. Despite his lingering reservations, his genuine concern for her well-being surfaced. Their bond as friends compelled him to wish her success, acknowledging the dedication and determination she had poured into her Jedi training.

Close in age, both Balun and his companion were on the cusp of adolescence, with Balun himself nearing his fifteenth year—a pivotal age where many would be selected to begin their journey as Padawans. The traditions of the Jedi Order had evolved over time, adapting to the changing tides of the galaxy. Nowadays, students were chosen as Padawans based on their dedication and maturity, rather than adhering strictly to age-old customs.

However, despite this shift in approach, there remained a preference among Masters for prospective Padawans who had matured into early adulthood. For those like Balun, who had spent their formative years within the hallowed halls of the Jedi Temple, the transition from student to apprentice often coincided with the onset of adulthood.

 

[Nouqai Veil]

Naturally, there was a reluctance to leave the familiarity of her home and the people she had grew along side with. Still, she could sense his dismay, she was quite the empath, sensing the feelings through intuition and the force. It was reasonable. But such was the path of the Jedi and some attachments she would have to let go of to move on. "Of course, it is one step closer to knighthood." She pipped, not truly answering his question. That was what she thought was the goal of most who were brought up in the temple, to pass their trials and eventually reach knighthood. Otherwise, they had nothing if not to follow this path paved for them.

"A wookie Darth Assimilus . We met at Myrkr... he sort of saved me from a crazy sith elf." Only a few were selected to go on the mission, one that quickly spiralled into a nightmare. "I suppose the council saw fit to pair us." The amphibious sentient and a wookie could not be anymore different but the force and fates worked in mysterious ways.

"Also, I've passed a trial... the trial of flesh." She added in a whisper. Not many had passed trials before their apprenticeships, especially not at her young age. And while it was a milestone towards the goal of knighthood, it was rather unsettling to know which of the trials she has succeeded in.

 

[Balun Dashiell]

"Myrkr, huh?" Balun's curiosity sparked, his gaze fixed on Nouqai Veil with newfound interest. Despite being a part of various off-world ventures alongside his peers, he hadn't ventured into the realm of open combat. The recent mission Falentra spoke of and the intricacies of her trial of the flesh remained foreign to him. "Sounds intense," he remarked, his assumption drawn solely from the weight of her words.

"I'm glad you made it back alright, though," he added, a forced chuckle punctuating his words as he reflected on his own solitary existence within the social fabric of their world. Balun maintained numerous acquaintances, yet true friends were a rare commodity. Falentra, however, stood among the cherished few he held dear, her presence a comforting constant amidst the tumult of their lives.

"At least one of us is making it in the Order," he quipped, a hint of humor laced with a thread of sincerity. Balun's jest was a fleeting attempt to inject levity into the somber reality of his own stagnant journey within the Jedi Order. Confidence eluded him, overshadowed by a sense of doubt that gnawed at his spirit. The prospect of finding a Master seemed increasingly distant, leaving him adrift in a sea of uncertainty.

His disillusionment with the Masters stemmed not from malice but from a deep-seated frustration with their well-meaning yet often patronizing guidance. Balun's reluctance to conform to their expectations likely hindered his progress, a fact he begrudgingly acknowledged as he navigated the labyrinthine corridors of his own insecurities.

"You reckon you'll still be around here much, or nah?".

 

[Nouqai Veil]

It didn't sound like he knew much about the trials, but she wouldn't dwell much on it either. Ignorance was at times a blessing. She was lucky to have made it back to coruscant in one piece. "Me too," She had mumbled, after heaving a sigh. A part of her did not want to leave the familiarity of the temple, not knowing what other endeavours awaited her on her new journey.

There was a pause of silence between them, Falentra deciding on what to say. Despite his humour, it did little to alleviate the somber air. "I don't think I will. You'd need to find a new sparring partner for classes when I'm gone, Bale." Falentra knew how he abhorred combat, but it was the way of the Jedi, to fight evil in favour of the light. Some of their classmates were ruthless, never holding back punches.

"What happens if you do not? Where would you go?" She asked.

 

[Balun Dashiell]

Bale, the affectionate moniker Nouqai Veil frequently bestowed upon him, elicited a subtle twitch of amusement from him, his lips curling into a faint smirk. In the midst of uncertain times, he found solace in humour, recognizing its ability to inject brightness into even the darkest moments. However, the prospect of seeking a new sparring partner left him disheartened. Falentra, attuned to his aversion to unnecessary conflict, often tailored their training sessions to accommodate his pace. Balun, not one to easily forge connections, struggled with the idea of mingling with others. Social interactions demanded a confidence he felt he lacked, a reality underscored by his own introspection.

"Funny that you mention it," Balun responded with a nonchalant shrug, though beneath the casual facade, a knot of apprehension coiled in his stomach. He was about to broach a subject he had kept tightly guarded until now. "I've been thinking about things here a lot lately. You know how I was still a baby when the Order took me in. This life, being a Jedi, it's all I've ever known. But lately, I've been feeling... resentful, I guess. The Masters, they mean well, I know that. But it feels like everything, even their guidance, is imposed on me. I never chose this path; it was chosen for me."

Once he started, the floodgates seemed to burst open, his words rushing forth with a raw honesty he hadn't anticipated. There was little room for filter or tact, his pent-up frustrations spilling out unabated, heedless of how they might be received by Falentra. "I guess...-If you're not around, then I have even less reason to be here. I wanna know what it's like to live my own life, to do things my own way, even if it means screwing up. At least then I'll feel like I'm in control....-I feel like I don't know who I am without the Jedi Order, and that may not mean much to someone else but I feel like a part of me is missing".

 

[Nouqai Veil]

Silently she listened, as best as she could with an open mind and without judgement or the dogma ingrained by the jedi teachings. She nodded. However, what was worrying was the resentment he claimed to harbour. "You want... more." She pointed out. It was only natural to want more than what was given, but it was frowned upon. Greed. It was true, Nouqai had nothing much that was hers aside from the necessities provided by the order, but she was at least relatively comfortable. And unlike Balun, Nouqai was more inclined to follow through the path set for her, believing that at the end of it, she would be rewarded with the freedom upon knighthood.

The teen pondered for a moment, on the best way to respond to her friend's honesty. With a sigh, she'd lean back, laying on the grass assuming a more relaxed position. "It's all we've ever known, Balun. I envy you. Your ideals don't conform, you want to discover. I wish I could be more like that, but I don't dare to stray. Maybe its fear... of the darkness... or what I might discover."


They grew and with time, the gullibility prevalient in pre-adolescence faded, less likely to follow blindly and accept their teaching without question. "We've been told wanting more might lead one towards darkness. But we've also been taught there is a balance in everything and everyone, and I suppose maintaining that is necessary." Nouqai went on. "But you aren't very happy here. If you ever leave... just don't stray too far, okay?" She'd turn towards him, casting a gentle smile. She wanted what was best for her friend. While this was home to her, where she felt the most comfortable, it was not the same to Balun, regardless if he grew up in the same space.

 

[Balun Dashiell]

Not only did Nouqai Veil exhibit an uncanny understanding of his inner turmoil, but she also validated his emotions with a genuine appreciation for his defiance against conformity, encouraging him to forge his own path and define life on his own terms. A glimmer of gratitude danced across his features, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, as her words washed away the lingering fear of judgment for openly challenging the life they had been indoctrinated into.

"I'm grateful for all the Jedi have done for me, no doubt," he reiterated, acknowledging the skills and opportunities they had afforded him, ones that most youths could only fantasize about wielding. "But it's as if they want me to be this one person: a good obedient Jedi, when the person I feel like I'm supposed to be, is being pushed away. I feel like I need to relearn who I am, somewhere out there where I can do it on my own terms".

Balun found himself at a loss, unsure of where to begin his journey. Countless renowned worlds steeped in history flashed through his thoughts, yet none held the personal memories he sought. "I suppose I'll wander for a while, see whatever sights and people come my way," he mused aloud, a sense of curiosity tingling in his veins. "Figure how it feels to live outside of the Jedi Order, get to know the lives of ordinary people and figure out what they do to get by."

"Where would you go, if there was anywhere in the Galaxy you could be?"

 

[Nouqai Veil]

In a sense, the padawan would be exploring the galaxy through the apprenticeship, albeit under the guidance of a master. Balun would be alone if he ventured - if only they had data pads to communicate, but alas, the Jedi order did not afford their younglings such luxuries.

"I read on this planet called Tyra'Weilen, the garden world. I think you'd like it. I want to be deep in an ocean, peaceful, amongst creatures of the sea. I feel like that is where I belong that is not the surface." Despite her clearly aquatic nature, she had never actually been in the ocean.

"I've always wondered where I came from. I think I might be a little bit quarren don't you think?"

 

[Balun Dashiell]

"A garden world?" Balun's interest surged at the mere mention of the name. He imagined a world adorned with nature's lush tapestry. The very thought of it stirred a longing within him, for Balun was inherently drawn to the purity and serenity of the natural world. In Tyra'Weilen, he imagined sprawling fields, majestic trees reaching towards the heavens, vibrant flora dancing in the breeze, and exotic fauna roaming freely.

"That sounds awesome," Balun remarked wistfully, his mind wandering to the possibility of experiencing such beauty firsthand. The idea of finding a place to call his own amidst Tyra'Weilen's verdant landscapes tantalized him, igniting a spark of hope in his heart. Yet, reality soon cast a shadow over his dreams; Balun found himself tethered by the harsh constraints of his current circumstances. He possessed neither wealth nor the means to attain it, rendering his aspirations a distant reverie for the time being.

Nouqai Veil , on the other hand, harboured a longing for a life submerged beneath the ocean's depths, conjuring vivid mental scenes of her gracefully navigating through schools of fish. While Balun acknowledged the allure of the underwater world, he couldn't fathom committing to a lifetime beneath the waves.

Balun couldn't resist a teasing smile as he remarked, "Doesn't that prune up your skin, though?" His tone carried a hint of amusement, gently poking fun at Falentra's aquatic aspirations. "I'm not sure if you're as much of a fish as you'd like yourself to be."

He harboured no ill will towards Quarren, but the idea of her spending a lifetime submerged in the ocean seemed foreign to him. It was perhaps one of the many disparities between them. After all, Balun's understanding of the Quarren way of life was limited. Yet, he couldn't help but ponder the possibility of finding enjoyment in it himself if given the chance to experience it firsthand.

"I guess if it's something that would make you happiest, then I'd want you to go for it", he concluded, thinking of his friend's interests despite his own reservations.

 

[Nouqai Veil]

"Maybe one day we can go there together." Nouqai said wishfully. If they found the means to, no where in the near future, that was for sure.

Nouqai laughed lightly as he prodded fun at her biology. "You do know that I breathe through my skin right?" Indeed, if here skin were to try out, she would suffocate, she needed to constantly ensure that it remained moist if not underwater where she could breathe through gills. the tentacles on her head seemed to move on their own accord at those words, hugging around her neck, as if slightly self-conscious. "I'm certainly much more fish than most." She sighed. Indeed, even within the Jedi temple, there were kids who were rather mean.

"I know I'd miss you, Balun." She told her friend. Inevitably, their paths were diverging. There were tears starting to well up in the 15-year-old's eyes. Having already a taste of horror on Myrkr, she was rather afraid to leave the comfort and safety of the temple and especially her friends, not knowing what might else might await her. "Honestly... I'm afraid." While there were wonders, there was also so much darkness in the galaxy. Balun Dashiell

 

[Balun Dashiell]

"I'd actually really dig that, going off somewhere on a trip together. Getting away from this place and being able to explore a world like that without worrying about the Master's getting worried where we've gone," Balun exclaimed with genuine excitement, nodding fervently. The prospect of escaping the confines of their current surroundings to explore together resonated deeply with him. Falentra ranked among his dearest companions, and the idea of embarking on such a journey with a trusted friend like her filled him with anticipation.

The revelation about Falentra's ability to respire through her skin caught Balun off guard. Their shared experiences rarely involved aquatic pursuits, save for a few instances over the years where he had marvelled at her seemingly endless breath-holding capabilities. "That's actually pretty awesome. Being able to stay underwater as long as you want, I can see why a water world would be so good" he mused, admiration evident in his tone. The notion of unrestricted underwater exploration in a world suited to her unique physiology intrigued him. It prompted him to ponder just how much Nouqai Veil knew about her own origins, her life before joining the ranks of the New Jedi Order.

"Do you have any family out there somewhere?" he inquired, curiosity piqued. The subject of family remained largely uncharted territory for Balun, a topic he typically skirted for understandable reasons. Within the tight-knit community of students, gossip about one another was inevitable. Balun's own history, marked by abandonment at birth due to a betrayal in his youth, was a well-known fact among his peers; a reality he preferred not to dwell on.

 

[Nouqai Veil]

They talked about luxuries of travel that seemed so far of reach now. If only they let on more expeditions that involved being underwater, even now, assigning her to a wookie master, it seemed that pursuits underwater would be rare as it was now. Then he asked her bout her family, a sigh leaving her lips. "I have tried to ask the masters. I think they know where I come from but they've always seem to avoid my questions." It was frustrating, but she knew there was a reason why, not to form attachments that might stray one from the light. "Maybe one day, when I'm knighted, I might find out myself."

"What about you Bale, are you going to reconnect with your family?"

 

[Balun Dashiell]

"Nah. Like you, I don't know who they are. I was left with the Jedi as a foundling," Balun responded, his gaze momentarily drifting away from Nouqai Veil , a subtle reflex when delving into the depths of his own history. His words held a weight, a reflection of the myriad thoughts that danced behind his eyes.

"It's not right that the Jedi won't tell you about your family. You deserve to know who you are and where you come from" The frustration simmered beneath the surface of his voice as he continued, his tone now laced with a blend of conviction and discontent. "Is it really fair to us? The Jedi keeping the truth about where we come from, from us? We deserve to know, at least so we can learn more about our history and figure out what kind of people we belong to" His gaze returned to her, a silent challenge lingering in the air.

"It's not theirs to decide, is it?" Balun posed the question rhetorically, his stance unwavering. He didn't await her response, for his stance was resolute, his convictions clear. How could an institution dictate such integral aspects of one's being, leaving behind a void as vast as the cosmos?

"For all I know, mine could be dead" A note of finality tinged his words as he concluded, a sense of resignation mingled with unresolved longing. "I mean, they might as well be, considering I've been here for fifteen years and never heard a single thing about them" he stated definitively.

 

[Nouqai Veil]

How they managed to get a child that was aquatic in nature - a tentacled haired freak, would always be a mystery. "It doesn't really matter to me, if they had taken me or if I was left here like you.' She lied. Balun was upset about it and deep down, she was really curious too. But what if she knew? Would that change things? Nouqai was quite content with her life now as it is. At times ignorance was a bliss.

"What if those people aren't all that good? Are we ready to know all about that now? I know that the jedi wants what best for us." She said, her own opinions going against her friend's.

"I've just got 4 more trails to go. Then I'll be free to make my own decisions and find out what I wish as a Jedi knight. Maybe I'd be able to discover where I came from or what I am. Who knows?"

 

[Balun Dashiell]

"If my parents were bad people, then at least it would be my choice not to go along with them. I'd still have the opportunity to get to know them," Balun reflected, his voice a mere whisper, attuned to Nouqai Veil 's aloof demeanour. Nouqai's ascent bore testament to her dedication, her tenacity an echo of her inner strength, a truth not lost on Balun as he recognized the magnitude of his own achievements.

"You'll get there Nouqai. You've come too far to stop now, I know," Balun urged, his words a blend of reassurance and self-reminder, cognizant of Nouqai's divergent view of their shared sanctuary within the Jedi Order. "What will you do as a Jedi Knight?" he inquired, his curiosity kindled by the myriad possibilities awaiting her embrace of newfound authority.

Would she apprentice a disciple, mirroring her mentor's path, or chart her course through the cosmos, a solitary beacon of aid to those in need? The notion of liberation from institutional bonds, traversing the galaxy as a harbinger of goodwill, held a seductive allure to Balun.