The difficult answers

[Adele Adonai]

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

A'dele's fingers would slip together, interlocking in front of her waist as Jacen wove the the scene that troubled him so. This was his task to complete. His mirror to face.
His own demons to overcome.

There was still a lingering sense of uneasy awkwardness in the air, however, the the focus had shifted. This was where A'dele was able to push back on her own self concerns, and instead strive to aid others. It was easier to simply be a guide, to be an observer. That helping hand when another was lost. She had played that role in life and in death. An odd statement to hear, but she had.

Her repentance and her path to redemption rested upon the foundation where the Jedi Code was her brick and the Jedi Tenets her mortar. It was easier to simply focus on the other, to open doors for those who were seeking rather than dive deep into the abyss where her's remained.

Her presence would be a mere quiet and supportive aura for the Knight, one that would serve as a guide. This was for him to face and understand. With his last came conviction.

She didn't know much about his past, but this reveal, walking through this door, it shone a light upon who Jacen Voidstalker had once been. She was surprised. So he had a family once? One that had become estranged and had led to eventual separation.

In her mind, she simply saw another reason why the strict code of the Order of Old held truth.

Attachments were too much of a risk for volatile emotions.

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Adele Adonai"]

Filing that letter away in this dreamscape seemed to have connotations for his own mind. That act which seemed physical was a representation of him facing up to this moment from his face, accepting it and putting it aside. He turned on the spot to face Adele. This time he addressed her directly when he spoke.

“I did some stupid things when I was thrown out of the Jedi Academy. I married a girl and we have a child before I even turned twenty. I don’t think I ever really loved her. I’d held such a high opinion of myself that when I was kicked out on my ass I was just flailing for something to latch onto. I did love my son though. Malik. Will be fifteen soon and he hasn’t spoken to me in six years. That’s a pain that’s hard to swallow. I neglected them when they needed me most. I was a poor father.”

Was he too old to do that again? Was it shallow to want to be part of a family once more and do it properly this time? Find the right person and stay together until the end. At some level it felt like wanting to replace his first son with another, but that was reducing his feelings to simplicity beyond the point of representing reality.

“I will find him again one day and try to try and apologise for my failings. After this…” he said, encompassing the room with his arms, “…happened I feel into a deep depression for a long time. It’s always hurt too much to look back. You were right – you always seem to be – it’s the path ahead I need to look to, not the one behind. But I needed to do this. I hope I’m a better person than I was. Thank you.”

The room faded and they were back in the plantation.

 

[Adele Adonai]

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

The spider could not quite comprehend the dance of the honeybee. While she had eight eyes to see the universe in its entirety, the honeybee was a shadowy mystery.

However, it was not her position to understand. Merely to guide. Padding back upon her web, she would nestle herself tightly against the grooves of the flower which made her bed.

Some things were best left be.

So there they stood, she and he in quiet contemplation. He had managed to face one of his fears, a most uncomfortable realization that allowed him to objectively study the wound of the past and untangle the emotional turmoil that had resulted in turn.

A soft smile in acknowledgement. A light nod. Glancing back at the manifestation of the Bafforr plantation, the Jedi Healer took a deep breath.

“An oil lamp becomes brighter after trimming...” and a truth becomes clearer after being discussed. A flash of blue would dart over briefly to meet Jacen’s gaze. “We can study until old age. . . and still not finish.”

With that, he would feel her draw away, and it was as if the petals of a flower closing shut at the break of dusk. Jacen would have his own quiet thoughts to mend the body, a new understanding to consider and implement.

That was enough for today for difficult answers.