Bad Kitty
THE IRON KEEP
Csaplar • Csilla
Of course, [member="Théodred Heavenshield"] picked this week to take a vacation.That sad sack of Corellian-Valkyri son of a biscuit eater was off chasing some red-headed schutta he'd probably met on the HoloNet. Tinder. Match. Or maybe It's Just Desperate! Whatever. Brah was on Midvinter probably living the Tháinbroek high life, with a beer and/or some poor chick's mammary glands in both hands.
And the apprentice, you ask?
The karking apprentice was on Csilla doing the damn Iron Praetor's job for him.
The word had come down five minutes ago. The Queen of Commenor was coming to Csilla.
Why?
Who knew. Maybe she was going skiing. Maybe she wanted to peruse the shops at Csaplar Boutique. Feth, the woman could want to sunbathe on the southern glacier for all he cared. Who knew why these high muckity-mucks or whatever nerf herders were calling themselves did what they did. They had credits, power, and influence.
Those were generally all bad things in people.
And, for whatever reason the gorram Imperial Security Bureau had kept this little agenda a secret. So now everyone in the Iron Legion was scrambling like their ass was on fire and their heads were catching. The Praetor was off womanizing, or slacking off (well, to be fair, he was Corellian. And he was Valkyri. So... that sounded right). The Iron Legate was off on some damn fool idealistic crusade, and most of the centurions were either on Ilum or in the field.
You know, if ISB had felt like, maybe, sharing was caring karkers then, maybe... just MAYBE they could have planned for this!
Did you have to be eleven years old to figure that out!?
So, as usual, the young Pantoran was about thirty meters in over his head, thanks entirely to the incompetence of the adult absolutist system of control. The only reason he was on Csilla in the first place was the fact that the Iron Praetor was goofing off and someone had to make sure the payroll got done.
Apparently that someone was the padawan.
Being an apprentice just meant you handled all the crap jobs so your
To be certain, the Iron Empire was not all rainbows and unicorns. The Empire had only recently quelled a violent Chiss extremist group and Mandalorian rebels had started to stir up trouble on Olstyn. So the Pantoran could appreciate that discretion was the better part of information security. But at least more than five minutes notice would have allowed someone other than The Iron Padawan to be the representative of the gorram Iron Legion.
Yes, your Highness. The Commenori should fear our valiant cadre of highly trained and deadly Force Users. Just look at that little blue boy and tell me you're not intimidated!
"-tt-"
Some deadly Force Users they were. The only thing Théo was killing was a keg.
"Ah, there he is now."
Rounding the corner, who else would it be but Lackey McSitherin. The ISB clerk who'd blocked all of Boo's attempts at getting much of anything done through official channels back on Olstyn. The security agent was lurking in the shadows like a total mooch, surrounded by a bunch of Iron Army goons.
Gesturing out toward the landing pad, the ISB master paper pusher said, "The royal cruiser is just about to land. You'll be meeting the queen when she arrives."
"What?" the child uttered. His voice slipped up an octave on that one, which immediately sent the Army goons into snickers. "Why me?"
"Chock it up to your non-threatening... huggable appearance."
Son of a Bith...
...and now the Army goons were out right laughing at him. Looking at the group, it was all the boy could do to just set his jaw and not have a go at them. Break this down like Wayland and take them to the Z-Hutt school of pain. Instead, and due largely to the fact that he'd have to answer to Théo, the boy raised one hand and just extended his middle finger. "Hug this, sleemo."
Seriously. In what karked up adult inebriated universe did that make sense. "Don't we have an Iron Emperor for these sorts of things?" the Pantoran blurted aloud.
Possibly not politically correct to invoke [member="Isamu Baelor"]'s title like that. Well, probably not politically correct.
Okay, he was talking out his arse here. Again, why was this his problem to begin with?
"Ask not what your Iron Emperor can do for you, but what you can do for your Emperor, youngling," Snarky Malarky opined, with an excess of personality. The Army goons were laughing it up. Boo just fixed a deadly glare at the man...
...or, attempted to, anyway. It was quite difficult to muster a good death glare when one had the face of an eleven year old kid.
Turning away, the small Pantoran began making his way toward where the ship carrying this Commenori Grand High Poobah would land. It was exposed to the cold of Csilla, and the boy was not wearing a cloak. Yet, the frost didn't seem to bother him. Not for a bit anyway.
Théo had bought some new clothes for him while they'd been at the Valkyri colony on Olstyn, so he looked like a little Midvinter kid in a brightly patterned tunic that was better suited to wear around the Iron Keep than what the Pantoran wore out in the field. A strange, crystalline pendant of Primeval design hung from around his neck.
Standing at the edge of the landing platform, the boy waited to see what fresh hell awaited him.
[member="Lady Kay"]