First Reply The End is Close at Hand

[NPC Treasury]

The tears fell more freely now, yet she wiped at them and tried to stop them from falling all the same. Kay wanted to control her emotions better and keep them bottled up, yet being back on Commenor, doing the same kinds of walks that she used to; it made everything fresh. All that she wanted was for Veiere to wrap his arms around her and hold her, to protect her from all harm.

And even when they weren't together, she could still have that sense when they spoke through their Force Bond.

"I'd like to think that he's at peace and finally happy. But I just don't know...I thought that even in death I could feel him, but he's gone. He's just....gone." Kay had never told a soul what had happened to her first husband Shaw. Yes he was killed by a Sith Lord, sacrificed so that Kay would be left alone. Yet his spirit was stolen by another; LordofMayhem . Shaw's was one of many that the Arkanian had collected to empower himself. Did Veiere suffer the same fate?

"Maybe I should go to the Netherworld to find him. I've done it before, I can do it again." Veiere used to tell her that she was a bit fanatic over him. Perhaps he was right. Caedyn Arenais could probably guess that she was almost suffering a withdrawl.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"No, you shouldn't" Caedyn responded quickly and firmly.

The mention of venturing into the Netherworld struck a chord with the Jedi Knight that the two of them hadn't discussed or bordered on talking about before now, yet this was clearly a subject that he felt strongly about.

"It's not our place to interfere with life after death. As hard as Dad's loss is, death is a natural part of the cycle of life and it needs to be respected. Nothing good will come from what you're suggesting" he explained himself, though kept it short for the time being.

As much as he missed his Father and wished to see him again, to explain and apologize for their differences, Caedyn would never take the risk and disrespect the Force in such a way as to try to attempt to circumvent the natural way of life in which they lived.

"Dad has passed on, to become one with the Force is an honor and something to be proud of for all Jedi. It doesn't make living with the loss any easier for us but after a life of service to the Galaxy, to others...-He deserves his peace".

NPC Treasury

 

[NPC Treasury]

"Nothing good? Caedyn I will be assured that he is safe there and not...." She closed her eyes, clenching her hands into fists as she struggled against her tears. "Praz could have kidnapped his spirit. I need to know that he's safe! I can't just let him be tortured in death too!"

Kay carried too much pain with her and she hated it. She wanted it all to end. [color=]"And what about my peace? Do I have to wait for death before I can feel anything again? Is that what I'm to do? Go charge off into battle and get myself killed in hopes of being able to move on? I didn't even get to say goodbye...All that I did was get to witness it. Well thank you Force for such a privledge!"[/color] Kay threw her arms up in the air as her tears fell freely. "I didn't even ask for this! I don't even have anything of his. There's nothing for me anywhere to remem--" Her words cut off as an idea popped into her head. She turned to Caedyn Arenais quickly. "What did you take when you went to the Elder's Sanctuary? Did you leave anything behind?" It wasn't the holocron or the crystals that she was after. Instead Kay just wanted his robes.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"The living have no place in the afterlife, Mom" Caedyn responded firmly. She was suggesting interfering in the natural forces of their world and the next, and such actions went against everything that he'd been taught and believed in.

"Dad was among the strongest of the Jedi of our time. His name is brought up to me by nearly every Padawan or Silver Jedi I meet in the halls of the Academy. He knew what he was doing, he knew the risks and the purpose of our duty as Jedi to the rest of the Galaxy" he argued quietly, trying to be gentle about expressing his view on the situation.

"You may not believe the Force is what it was to him, or what it is to me, but you need to respect it" he concluded, "Dad wouldn't want you messing around with these sorts of idea's and neither do I". For the time being he didn't answer her question. He wouldn't do so until he had her assurance that she wouldn't go through with the blasphemy she had just talked about.

NPC Treasury

 

[NPC Treasury]

Kay looked to Caedyn Arenais not just out of desperation, but with such dread and pain. "Caedyn...I need to KNOW that he's safe. Not just blindly believe it to be so, only to find out later that he's being held by his enemies. I can't go through that again....Caedyn I just can't..."

She stopped walking and dropped to her knees, pressing her face into her hands. "He deserves the best and I couldn't give it to him." Kay didn't care who saw her or didn't. She was overcome with grief and guilt. At least it was something that she could feel.

Regardless she vowed to never love anyone again. Twice a widow was twice too many.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

NPC Treasury

'To blindly believe'.

"You shouldn't be so quick to dismiss Dad's beliefs. He worked his entire life under the practices and world views of the Jedi Order" Caedyn replied, his voice quiet, not bitter but with an edge of defeat to it.

She had never tried to get to know the Silver Jedi, not in his lifetime at-least. The Galaxy was so good at holding them to impossible expectations and spitting on them when they failed to live up to them, but the Jedi were as fallible as everyone else. The difference was they never stopped trying to do the right thing no matter how hard others were on them.

"Dad has returned to the Force, he is at peace. The Force is beyond even the Sith and no matter how powerful they may think they are, that is all there is to it" he said as he moved to try to help her back up to her feet. "There's no guarantee that what you see of the Nether is genuine either. There are darker spirits at play there, things that will abuse your memory of him. I'm telling you for your own good, this is not an option".

"Mom, you need to accept that he's gone...-And focus on living by his memory. Doing justice in what he fought for. What you both used to fight for".

 

[NPC Treasury]

Caedyn Arenais didn't know what it was like. He couldn't know. To have an enemy trap the spirit of a loved one and use their power to enhance their own.....

Prazutis was fully capable of something like that. Would he do it? Most certainly. Of that she was sure. But for some reason Caedyn didn't even want to find out. All that Kay wanted was proof, reassurance that Veiere was truly at peace.

And until then she didn't think that she'd ever be at peace herself. Or even be able to move on. And if she never got that proof? Well, so be it.

Kay wrapped her arms around herself after Caedyn got her up, giving herself a much needed hug. She didn't have her tea to sooth her at the moment and wouldn't get a chance to get any until later. "I didn't fight Caedyn, I just negotiated. And look at what good that got me..." Once more Kay began walking. If Caedyn wasn't going to tell her what was left in the Elder's Sanctuary, then she was going to find out for herself.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"Violence isn't the only way to fight against oppression; It's more likely to encourage animosity than it is to cure it" Caedyn replied thoughtfully as he walked alongside NPC Treasury , not allowing her to leave their conversation so easily. He wasn't going to change his stance on things, yet he also wouldn't abandon her when she needed someone most and so he resigned himself to pushing his feelings aside for the sake of supporting her however he could.

"Lori and I always admired your work growing up. Sure we didn't exactly have a normal life but we got to meet a lot of really influential people and watched or listened to you delegating political interests and leading Commenor. At one stage leading numerous worlds. You can't tell me that wasn't significant...".

He forced a smile, glancing to her and looking for some sort of response.

"There were millions of people that benefited from your leadership. Whatever the mistakes, you did far more good than otherwise and for a long time kept people safe and preserved their civil rights. Life was good under House Arenais here".

The Sith Empire had caused many problems for Commenor and for their family yet his Mother never asked for it or brought it on herself, she had mistakes that she blamed herself for like everyone else in the known Galaxy yet much of her guilt came from the influence of the Darkside and the corruption of the Lord of Lies. Caedyn had learned over time, the truth of things from his Father's perspective thanks to his Holocron.

"I left nothing behind, but everything that was there is now in our Estate".

 

[NPC Treasury]

"And those that can't stand up for themselves get destroyed. Just like I was..." And more than once too.

Kay rubbed her arms as Caedyn Arenais walked beside her. She wasn't cold, she was just using it to remind herself that she was here and it wasn't just a part of some bad dream.

Her brows furrowed in thought as Caedyn tried to put a positive spin on things. His words were true, but none of that reflected the here and now. It was all just pages in history. "We were stronger together. Yet once we all had to separate, it all fell apart...I don't think that I'll ever be whole again." There was far too much lost.

As he finally answered her question, Kay paused in her tracks. "And his robes? Are those at your Estate too?" There was no slip of the tongue there. The Estate was his. She didn't quite feel as though she belonged yet.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"They're at Home, yes" Caedyn answered, noting the tone by her words yet choosing not to respond or bring up the fact that it would forever be her home too. Perhaps in time she would come to feel a little more confident in that, perhaps not but as along as he had a roof to share with his Mother, she would find sanctuary there alongside him.

"There's something else that I think you should take too though" Caedyn continued, sparing his Mother a concerned glance as they walked together; "Dad's Holocron when activated produces a reiteration of himself, the gatekeeper of his life, memories and learnings along the way. It holds every bit of information and memory that Dad had right up throughout his time with the Silver Jedi only months before his death. He seems to have continued to fill the holocron with data over the years...", although it wasn't Veiere in person, it was the closest thing they had to the real thing. In Caedyn's mind it might offer NPC Treasury some comfort in hearing from the recollection of his Father's life that she had no faults in the eyes of her Husband.

"I think it would do you some good to activate it. To speak to him".

 

[NPC Treasury]

Caedyn Arenais had his father's robes. Oh that was good news. If he didn't have them and they weren't at the Sanctuary, then that either meant that Lori had them or they were stolen. Yet at least she didn't have to worry.

Her reason for wanting them were simple; to put them on and wrap them around herself. Maybe they still had his smell? Then it could be as though she was getting a hug from Veiere once more. Of course she wouldn't do that in front of anyone. Instead she'd do it alone in her room. And there she could cry herself to sleep. Maybe even dream of Veiere if she was lucky.

"His holocron?" How could she have forgotten that he had one? There had been so much going on since she was sent to Purgatory that she had lost track of what items she had kept hidden and which items were lost due to the attack on Zakuul and the loss of her ship The Free Lady. Even her lightsabers were gone. But it wasn't as though she felt the need to carry one anymore anyways.

The thought of seeing some form of Veiere again brought her tears to the brim of her eyes again. Kay reached out for her son's hand, while her eyes searched his. "Could you be with me for that? Could you help me with it?" Kay had never activated a holocron before. It was beyond her expertise. There wasn't a lot that she would put in one.

Of course there was always the worry that the holocron could become an obsession of it's own. Kay had to do her best to try to prevent that.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"I can be there" Caedyn nodded, meeting his Mothers gaze as she reached for his hand out of what he assumed was reassurance and comfort in her mourning Veiere; "I don't imagine it will be easy, but I've used it a number of times already in order to learn...-But also to talk with Dad in much the same way, if I'm being honest" he admitted reluctantly.

Despite being a Jedi Knight and an active member and practitioner within the Order of the Silver Jedi, Caedyn still felt the incredible weight of loss after Veiere had been killed and the news had been revealed to him and Lori.

It took a very long time to gain the control over one's emotions, the sense of restraint that he had shown before those who were there around him at the time, doing his best not to allow his sadness and misery to show through what had otherwise been a front. A mask of profession as a Jedi, prioritized over wearing his heart on his sleeve like so many others did compared to those who followed the Jedi Path.

"Seeing him for the first time was breathtaking" Caedyn spoke thoughtfully, reflecting back on the first session with the Holocron and the Gatekeeper of Knowledge that had once been his Father's life experience; "It's not him, it's a program that's designed to greet those who use the Holocron. We call them Gatekeepers, however it contains all of Dad's memories, captured his emotions during those times and looks identical to him...".

"It really is the closest thing we have, these days...-I figured it's better than nothing at all, right?".

NPC Treasury

 

[NPC Treasury]

Kay's eyebrows rose as Caedyn Arenais admitted to using Veiere's holocron much in the same way that she would. Not so much for the learning part, but in order to be with him in some way. Such a fact surprised her to say the least. Yet perhaps in some way, his passing brought the two men closer together. If only it could've been done while he was alive.

"I don't know how I'll react when I see him. I know that it's not him as I don't feel him anymore. It's as though he's ceased to exist in every aspect. Yet I need the closure...Perhaps in a little while, I'll have a small funeral for him too." As far as she was aware, there hadn't been a funeral or ceremony in his honour. Or at least there hadn't been one that she was ever invited to. Yet she'd make one herself and it didn't matter if anyone showed or not. Kay was quite used to being alone by now. She had built up her walls around herself and it didn't matter what anyone did or didn't do. For all that she knew, most people didn't care about her anymore.

But she'd always have her children.

"Anything is better than nothing at all. Trust me....And I won't take it from you. I'd only become addicted to it otherwise. The only addiction that I should have is my tea." And of course she could really use a cup of it now. And to be nestled in Veiere's robes for a while.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Caedyn frowned at his Mother, throwing her a skeptical look in response to her assuring him that he would retain possession of the Holocron; "I'm not at all worried about that, Mom...-Dad entrusted you with it for years, you're the last person I have to worry about" he chuckled quietly as they walked together. Now with a proper destination in mind, Caedyn gestured for NPC Treasury to follow his lead this time as they would need to return to the family home in order for her to use the artifact.

"If you do decide to give Dad a send-off, I'd like Lori and I to be there" Caedyn insisted, wanting to be there to support her but also wanting to be present for such a thing out of respect for their Father and perhaps a little closure for themselves. The Battle of Bimmisaari hadn't exactly given them that opportunity as Veiere had been burned upon a pyre by surviving Jedi of the conflict.

"For now, let's just focus on today" he suggested, "We'll take a speeder into Munto Valley and walk the rest of the way to the Estate. I'd rather keep it private for as long as possible" he explained, flagging down a public transport with a wave of his arm from the street side. Caedyn was glad to be able to offer his Mother some potential help; Whether it worked or not, atleast he could say that he had tried his best and done right by her.

~ End ~​