The Final Problem

[NightSister]

"Just stop!"​

​

Her voice rose to a shout, and she let out a wave of telekinetic energy, uncontrolled and unfocused but not, by any means, unpowerful. Stronger than anything she could've achieved as a Jedi, without a doubt. With its target standing right in front of her, the effects of the Force-push would be anything but feeble. Connor was powerful, but she had the element of surprise to her advantage. That, and a whole lot of previously suppressed anger, of course. That always helped.

"I haven't done anything wrong. So I went after a Sith Lord! Silara helped me when you were off sabotaging the Order. It's not my fault if you have some argument with her over a missing Jedi, alright?"

Breathing heavily, Aria glared as she tried to sort out her thoughts. Was she glad to see him? She hadn't tried to walk away yet; she hadn't told him to go. In fact, a refusal of any sort had been totally absent. Perhaps intrigued worked better. But a little bit glad, too...just a little.

And could she trust him? Now, or ever? She wanted to. She really did. But she'd tried that already. Gaining her trust once was as simple as a few kind words - the second time was harder. Aria was naive, after all, but she wasn't entirely stupid. Nevertheless, she had as many reasons to trust Connor as she did not to. Decisions, decisions.

"I'm not trying to blame you for anything you didn't do. You're not a Jedi? That's okay. You killed Charzon Loulan? The schutta deserved it. But you screwed up, okay? I trusted you, and you played me. I don't care if it's not what you were trying to do - do you know how long I was stuck feeling like I couldn't get anywhere? Just - just tell me how I'm meant to trust you."

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

He picked up on the spike in her aura seconds before she shouted, but the blast caught him by surprise. It shouldn't have, but it did. The energy ripped outwards and pushed him back as he covered his face with his arm, against an invisible force. His feet were footed but were dragged back by her blast, enough to send him stumbling a few feet after.

It was over in seconds, but it was rather a powerful few seconds. Connor dropped his arm and looked at her those few feet away from where he had been. Connor sighed in resignation, and saw the error of his ways, a nasty habit from his time with the Silvers. He blamed others for his own failings, and in doing so was about to lose her.

He had failed her. He wanted to be there, but had let his own selfish drive to be something greater takeover helping Aria become great herself, and she had found another who would give her the time and attention she needed. Connor didn't say anything for a few moments, and just let her words sink in and carefully thought about the present and future; the past didn't matter anymore.

"I am sorry, Aria," he said finally. Thunder could be heard in the far distance. Light was waning. "I'm sorry for letting you down. I'm sorry for not being there. I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry."

In sodden boots, dragging his dirty and ringing wet cowl, he walked back towards her.

"My intentions lie with the Dark Side of the Force. I will embrace it, and use it to finally become who I was meant to be before the Jedi took me in. Where ever your path is taking you, I want to be on it. I need to help guide you on it, because I promised you I would months ago in that Voss clearing. Everything I did, I did for you. I wanted to train and push you to be the best, and to dig down and find that fire inside your."

Closer to her now, he reached out as he did with his former Grandmaster. He placed a hand at the base of her neck and pulled her brow to his, lowering it for her. That way, as his threat had been unmistakable to Thurion, this promise would be crystal clear to Aria.

"I will never, ever let you down. I will never abandon you again. Anyone who tries to hurt you will have me to deal with. If you put your trust in me, the galaxy will be ours. Our network will grow. Our allies will follow. Our enemies will fall."

Connor held Aria, hopefully in a way she would feel the magnitude of his promise.

"Forgive me."

[member="Aria Vale"]

 

[NightSister]

Aria sighed.

Yes, she was still confused. Yes, she was still angry. But it tired her to fight him on it - she lacked the resilience to argue through the rest of her emotions until either of them gave up. What was the point? The only possible outcomes of doing so wouldn't make her happier. They wouldn't make her stronger. She'd have passed up her chance, and she knew full well she'd regret it, perhaps forever.

She liked to think she was a fighter, and maybe she was. Just not today - not right now. Today, she couldn't. One could only carry on the fight fruitlessly for so long, after all. Instead, she nestled into the embrace, her weary gaze meeting Connor's in a quiet, comforting moment of something that felt oddly like peace.

Her head inclined in a nod - once, just slightly.

A moment or two longer just to enjoy the silence, and then she pulled back, standing a little more upright than before. Unsurprisingly, from here she didn't have the first clue what to do, what to say. It was never so easy as you wanted it to be, was it? Always something to trip you up. Usually uncertainty, in Aria's case. That was fair, though. She'd lacked independence for so long. Now she just wanted to have a clear view of her own goals - and of his - before setting off to conquer the galaxy with him. Or whatever the aim was here.

But...she felt she could at least trust him to the extent of giving him the benefit of the doubt. If she was proven wrong, she'd leave and take it from there. If not - well, she saw no reason not to pursue the quest.

"Have you got a plan?"

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Silence spoke a thousand words. Her tiny movement into him a thousand more. He would accept that. An ever so silent breath of relief passed after she pulled away with a much calmer, yet still stronger, aura. He had to pinch himself to remember this was the same girl.

The rain, once more, had fizzled away leaving the world around them, and they themselves, soaked, but warm.

"A plan. Do I really look like I’m a man with a plan?"

With a gentle smirk, he looked directly to the raw mark on her face, and reached up to stroke it gently. She had to understand her place, but it hurt him more than anything to strike her.

"I’ll look after you. I know that much."

A few seconds of silence lingered, and he stopped and wiped away the rain from his face again, flicking his hair back through his fingers.

"I have contacts. People who have shown me some support recently, so we can go visit one or two of them if you wish. See what we can glimpse into this new world. I want to get established quickly, and find a place to call home. I think…I hope that the Sorceress Matsu Xiangu will be key to that but I can’t be sure, not yet."

Connor mulled over the faces and names of the past few weeks. He glanced up to Aria.

"Silara. What does she want from you? Would you like me to meet with her, to show her I bear no malice to what she could provide you with that I can’t"

[member="Aria Vale"]

 

[NightSister]

No plan. No certainty. No definite path ahead. In nearly every respect, she was exactly as she had been - only now, with Connor. She could live with that.

More impassive in how she held herself now, Aria thought through his words carefully. Matsu Xiangu; she knew the name from somewhere. Couldn't hurt, she supposed. It wasn't as if - Ruusan! Ah, that was it. She'd heard the name here and there after the battle on Ruusan, the one with all the zombies. That'd been her? And she was on Connor's side now? Hmm. Oh, and Aria knew Onley Xiangu from back on Ruusan, too. She would've giggled, but her melancholy temper wasn't fully alleviated. Yet.

"Better start making one, then." She returned his smirk in kind. "Seems a good place to start, though. Who are these contacts, then, besides this, um, Matsu Xiangu? And - wait - exactly how long has this been going on?"

Alright, well, if Matsu Xiangu and her zombies were on his - their - side, things couldn't be that bad. And - ooh, back to Silara. It would've mollified her that Connor was being reasonable for once, normally. The trouble with the question was that she didn't know the answer, not that it made any difference in the end; so long as Silara was helping her, the Sith's own personal gain was irrelevant. Whatever it was.

"I don't know. Nothing I won't give. Meet her if you want, but she might not be too good-natured about it."

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

As Aria spoke, Connor took her arm gently and walked away with her towards a set of overhanging trees, the large leaves dripping with rain water but underneath the greater shelter, by the trunks, it was drier. Drier than standing out in the open drizzle.

He wiped the water from his face again and rubbed his aching jaw.

"I’ll meet with her, don’t you worry about that."

Connor didn’t quite know how that meeting would go down, but for one he knew it would be him having to convince Silara of his intentions and his worth. It had been a long, long time since they had met on opposite sides of the Force with a shared interest between them.

"As for contacts, I have our mutual friend, Darth Abyss and…well, I guess long-term wise that’s it. A few others have crossed me path and left me with information but nothing has blossomed. Not yet anyway."

Things had changed…it felt different, somehow. The alliance that had once wanted to be strong seemed a little weaker. There was doubt. A shaky truce. Distrust. He look at Aria and took her in; noting the differences from the past encounters and how she held herself, how she looked, how she spoke – to him and in general.

"This has been going on since Korriban. When my friend Kyra Sol came back butchered by Darth Ignus, and I spent weeks trying to hold together the Order and forge fragile alliances which should have been the Grandmaster’s role, but never mind. My barriers were down and my emotions were raw, but they were real, and people saw that. Those who didn’t, they were blind. I started to listen to the Dark Side rather than try to ignore it or THINK I was listening. A few more weeks led to more encounters with people willing to stand with me if I made the right choice."

He bit his lip and looked out into the hazy clearing.

"I’ve made my choice and now I am banished from the only home I ever knew and I’m looking for a new one. It’s done. The Light is not my ally, or my friend, anymore."

[member="Aria Vale"]

 

[NightSister]

Aria looked at him with bemusement. Connor meeting Silara. That was certain to end badly, but who was she to object?

"Your funeral." She followed hesitantly, eyes still wary as she studied the sheltered clearing; happy as she would've been to be able to trust him as unconditionally as she had done before, she wasn't quite so quick to drop her guard. Well, she was normally. There was nothing particularly normal about this situation.

Still, she listened without interrupting - Aria was withheld, yes, but not close-minded. She'd given him a chance, and unless he messed it up it would only be a matter of time before her trust was regained. Not that he needed to know that.

No new names yet, then. Admittedly, Abyss was a good ally to have - she'd need to ask at some point how that encounter had come around - she'd need to do a whole lot of enquiring, in fact. About everything. Where he'd been, what he'd done, if he had any goals at all beyond fleeing the Light. In good time, though. There were things she'd have to establish first.

"Alright, second rule." With a pointed look and a slightly firmer tone, she spoke again. "We were both still on Voss after Korriban - and you never told me any of this. Kyra Sol, Darth Ignus - I've never even heard of them! That's fair, it's not as though Jedi Masters ever tell Apprentices anything, but from now on you tell me the important things - right away."

Perhaps she was learning.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Her tone was something to be desired. If there was one thing he didn't like, it was being spoken to in the tone Aria was doing. She had certainly changed, and now he was coming across the fool for almost begging to be forgiven. That's what Jedi did. That's what the weak did.

Connor looked at her finger pointing, and he shot out his hand and grabbed it and twisted it back.

"Third rule is you remember who the hell you're talking to." He twisted harder. "I didn't tell you those things because you weren't ready to know, and that's the reason you're getting so you take it and you accept it and you RESPECT it." He felt the strain on the bone at the joint.

Hopefully this was hurting.

"If you feel Silara is so much stronger, then go to her and study under her, for I have no desire to keep being sorry. I said it more than once."

With a sharp shove, he bent the finger back enough with a comfortable crack - he was hoping it would be the crack of a broken bone. He glared at her and stood strong in his spot. She would learn in time.

"I will not lie to you. I will tell you all you need to know at that time, but in time you will know everything. It's about time you remembered your place, Aria Vale."

[member="Aria Vale"]

 

[NightSister]

She didn't flinch. She didn't recoil and dart backwards in retreat. She didn't even look away. She simply glared, waiting patiently for him stop lecturing her - alright, she flinched a little when she heard the bone crack, but only a little - determined not to back down.

"I know my place, and it's not beneath you." Her anger was more controlled this time, but no less potent. "You're not my Master anymore - that was your choice, remember?"

Aria forgave. She forgave a good deal more than she ought to, in fact. But she rarely - if ever - forgot.

"I'll respect your authority when you have any. Until then, I promise you're getting exactly as much respect as you deserve."

If the muscles in her hand hadn't been aching so much, she would've almost been enjoying herself. It did really sting, though. She'd have tended to it quickly, but she wasn't discreet enough even with the Force to be able to quickly lessen the pain a bit, and she had her pride to think of. Later she'd have to take a proper look. Right now she was busy.

"Maybe I should go back to Silara." Now she really was suppressing a grin. "You're not exactly doing much to stop me."

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Inside, he admired her resilience and understood the words she spat out to him. It was another reminder of his failure of both her and himself.

It was another sign pointing to this was still the Connor of old; no respect, no authority, no clue. Thunder cracked in the distance, a rumbling chariot across the heavens in the darkest night.

"I'm not going to stop you. In fact, I urge you to go to her. She hasn't born the wrecked relationship we have, and she will tell you everything you want to hear, make you feel like you have nothing and sway you with words. I guess you're weaker than I thought if that's what you want."

With a final look over her, seeing the person she'd become and the one he'd lost.

It was all part of the process. He'd lose everything and everyone - that was the way to start again; reborn.

"Unlike with Silara, however, your place would have been beside me, not under me, regardless of your own personal wishes." He looked at her for another second. "I hope you find the Master you want with her."

He was done. Done arguing with another narrow minded individual, and done standing in sodden clothing in rain. Connor pulled his cloak to the side as he turned to get it out of the way, and walked away from the overhanging trees, back out towards where the clearing was and through to his ship.

[member="Aria Vale"]

 

[NightSister]

He expected her to follow him. Obviously he did. Follow him, apologize, grovel, swear undying loyalty. And she knew he would take it, too. She'd have to sacrifice her pride, stop asking questions, put up with his whims - but she'd get to stay under his wing. Under. That, or let him leave; run back to the fortress seeking comfort from Silara, let herself be built back up - again - and push today out of her mind forever.

Were those her only two options?

Never. Aria refused to let them be her only two options.

"I wasn't finished."

Just in case the ice in her voice didn't get him to stop in his tracks, Aria sent out another telekinetic blast, meant to hold him firmly in place. More controlled in her anger now, she stayed totally unmoving, smoothly maintaining the hold she had on the Force as she looked at him blackly.

"Don't try and make me into some mindless follower then tell me you want me beside you. That's not how it works."

This time, her aim wasn't to hurt him; not even to push him away. She wanted to be sure he understood everything she had to say, make it absolutely clear that this would only work one way. After that, if he still wanted to storm off...fine. Well, not fine, but she wouldn't try and stop him.

"If you want me to come with you, this is how it works: when something important happens, you tell me first thing. When I ask a reasonable question, you answer it. When I'm being a normal human being, you don't try and snap my bones in half for it. And if you can't do that -"

She cut off the hold, and her voice lowered a notch, deadly calm.

"Then go."

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor slowed in his walk; the invisible pull of the Force from young Aria. He stopped.

She wasn't the same Aria he had seen on Voss that was for sure, but then he wasn't the same Connor either. This was a relationship forged in the Light and crippled by the Dark.

With the feeling that wrapped around him gone, he inhaled the moist air and held his head high. His silhouette would be rather rigid to her for a few moments, and then he turned back to her.

"Sounds fair to me."

He ever so slightly curled his left hand, focusing on her windpipe. Nothing fatal, nothing sever - just a light grip that would make her work a little harder to breathe for a second or two; to feel the slight sensation again of being helpless.

"But be careful not to...choke...on your aspirations, Aria."

And with that, the grip was gone. She could play dirty, and so could he. The Light was never further away from the pair, but so was the respect and trust, which was an underlying issue.

"Now, if you're ready, we have things to do."

He indicated her over with a nod of the head.

[member="Aria Vale"]

 

[NightSister]

She'd have gone with him then. Taken off into a world as confusing as the one she'd be leaving behind, dealt with the possibility that things would all go totally wrong in an instant, abandoned all her other possible futures - if he'd just agreed and left it there.

But Connor simply had to have the last word.

The air left Aria's throat in a sudden as an invisible grip closed around her neck; panicked though she was, Aria guessed its source before Connor spoke, before she even noticed the slight gesture of his hand. In an instant, she was calling on the Force to block him off - and in the same instant, she could breathe again.

If he'd been standing just a few feet closer, he might've noticed a faint tinge of yellow begin to colour her glare.

As discreetly as she could, Aria inhaled, waiting for him to make his exit. Then she blinked. Connor Harrison, after everything he'd said and done, was still expecting her to come with him. The ferocious look of anger on her face shifted instantly into incredulity as her eyebrows shot up: seriously?

Goddamnit, he was making this difficult. Aria honestly wanted to leave with him - she'd been completely ready to leave with him, more than once. But she'd made herself clear, and he still wasn't listening. No, worse, he was listening, and he was disregarding everything she said so drastically that she almost felt laughed at.

He doesn't deserve you.

The memory floated through her mind, and her glare returned.

"You know, for someone who talks so much about respect you don't have the first clue what the word means."

She would always regret this. A great deal. Many sleepless nights doubtless awaited her as they had the first time she'd had this choice. Maybe at some point, she'd even delude herself into trying to find him to rectify her error. But she had her dignity, she had her pride, and she had a distinct dislike of being treated like she was worth less than she was. She'd regret the alternative more.

"Go to hell, Connor."

She turned on her heel.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

He looked at her, not showing much emotion, but it was clear he was listening. When she turned, Connor shouted to her.

"You'll be hurt a lot more on your journey into the darkness than by me. You will face betrayal, manipulation and straight-up lies. I suspect Silara has already fed you some, but you wanted to hear them, so you accepted them. You don't want to hear mine, so you don't accept them, but I'm telling you the truth."

This wasn't begging, this was Connor being Connor and laying it out on the line.

"You will be hurt far more than this, Aria, and if you walk away from all those who hurt you, you're going to make yourself a target for the ones you want to stand alongside. A friend told me that."

His eyes didn't leave her, knowing it may be the last time he ever saw Aria Vale in these few seconds. Another loss - another example of why he was ultimately doomed to succeed if he didn't change.

"Just give me time to earn your respect, and I will give you time for you to earn mine."

[member="Aria Vale"]

 

[NightSister]

If You Could Read My Mind​

​

Aria gritted her teeth.

Now, the crueler corner of her mind whispered. Now you falter as you're walking away, and you half-turn to face him in spite of yourself, and there's genuine sincerity in his eyes. Now you look at him tiredly, and you call out, shouting that this is his absolute last chance, and he vows not to break your trust again, and you'll believe him like the fool you are. Now you walk off into the distance with him, a sad smile drawn on your face, and you're hurting but you're sure things will get better...someday.

She kept walking.

Later, the wiser part of her brain insisted. Later you'll remember why you told him no - twice. Later you'll think of everything you left behind just because a man who was kind to you in a different life knew the right things to say. Later you'll wonder what sort of a weakling you are that you can get conned with empty promises and false words from someone whose real persona you hardly know. Later you'll scream at your stupidity and swear vengeance - but what will you do, really?

She kept walking.

What now? That one little question - it hadn't let her be for as long as she could remember. If she went with Connor, she at least had a supposed path; in fact, it went so far that Aria knew even how she would stray from that path. That was what made it so much worse. With Connor, it was easy. He was predictable even in his unpredictability - he was familiar, his presence was comforting even when his actions were the exact opposite. And he had, after all, helped her. Long ago, when she was blind enough to believe that her best choice was to continue to strive towards being a Jedi...whatever had happened since, he had helped her once.

She kept walking.

There would be someone else to turn to. Something, even. Silara would have words of advice, perhaps. She had friends she'd made since her departure from the Jedi, contacts stored on her datapad. There were her high-school friends from Eshan, even. Or maybe - somehow - she'd manage to brave it without anybody. Aria still had money saved that she'd never had the chance to use as a Jedi. She could buy a house somewhere. She'd never had a house of her own. Goodness. Or maybe just a holiday; an indefinite period of utter relaxation without any external forces influencing her decisions, so she could determine her future, all on her own.

She kept walking.

Her eyes were warm and glassy; she blinked, and droplets clung to her lashes. Good thing she was facing the other way. She'd go back to her starship now - she commonly slept there nowadays. First she'd have to punch something, though. And cry a lot. But sometime tomorrow she would wake up, and she would remember yesterday, and she would retreat back into her duvet wanting to stay there forever, but she would smile, too. She was smiling now.

She kept walking.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOS00rtaOw0&list=PLhqqvo3y1qZ2ShxNlCN69-OYgOP73j4hr&index=8

He stared after her as she walked. Further, and further. Step after step, never faltering or hesitating.

It was suddenly cold. Like it was on Rhen Var. Like it had been each time Connor felt alone, or felt a failure. The cold crawl of failure up his skin; the crawl of embarrassment and wounded pride.

He ran his lower teeth over the bottom lip, eye wincing slightly as the girl continued to walk through the trees, through the drizzle and to the murky outline of her ship.

Fists clenched, and a heavy sigh was followed by a tree trunk that suddenly buckled and split apart, spitting wood and branches to all sides. Connor didn't react. He just stood there as she became fainter, and fainter.

Another one lost because of his own lack of understanding of who he was, and what his purpose was. Sometimes, he wondered if death was the only other option. It would be far easier. To kill Connor Harrison. Stop the embarrassing moments like this, trying to convince others to stand with him when he couldn't even stand alone. It was part of the process, to take apart everything he cared for so he had nothing and nobody left. That was the true price to pay for sacrificing his soul to the Light.

Aria Vale had gone from view. Gone to Silara. A Sith who laid out breadcrumbs for the youth to follows. Poison pleasures, forbidden secrets, untapped power. One day he'd really have to pay Silara a visit just to see for himself what it was like to see her again.

Connor didn't need Aria. He didn't need anyone except the Sorceress to break him down into the leader and conqueror she said he was meant to be. Then Aria would see. She'd see what she had missed.

With a nod of the head, accepting he had failed again, he turned sharply, letting his crimson cloak, sodden with rain, crack as it turned with him to leave.

[member="Aria Vale"]