Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Private The Future Is Behind Us


Darth Daiara Darth Daiara
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While the rest of the family were sitting outside around a fire, enjoying the warmth over a drink and good company, Kaalia was busy making sure Gideon and Azarin got to bed. The former especially had never been one to easily comply, a trait he shared with the twins, though Azarin was the opposite. Some nights she even turned in for the night before her bedtime. Out of the four, Azarin was most certainly the easiest to handle. The twins would be going to sleep later and until then they were allowed to sit outside with their uncles and aunts, and their mom.

After finally getting the youngest of the four in bed, Kaalia made her way back downstairs and into the living area. Walking over to the glass pane door, she slipped into her comfortable pair of shoes and slid the door open to step outside and rejoin the crowd a little bit further down the estate. Something told her that would have to wait, however, as she saw Aradia walk towards her. Judging from where she came from, she had not been with the others. When she walked closer, she could also see that her daughter had tried at least a bit of the wine.

"Oh, hey," Kaalia said in greeting. She held the door open, half-expecting her to want to head inside. "Everything okay? I figured you'd slipped out after a while."
 
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Aradia rubbed at her arm, stepping in and away from the bustle of life behind them. She hadn't spoken to the woman yet, not truly. Part of it was apprehension and the other part just ... an unwillingness to address what had occurred. They hadn't had the best last encounter. She was pretty sure she had tried to attack her.

She was pretty sure she was disowned.

It made her next words incredibly awkward, no eye contact made as she scuffed at her feet.

"Yeah, about that..." We're in trouble. "Can we stay the night?"

Kaalia Pavanos Kaalia Pavanos
 

The timing of Aradia's appearance had been on-point, as far as Kaalia was concerned. She had been looking to get a moment alone with her daughter, and that moment presented itself on a silver platter. And so when Aradia stepped through the open door, Kaalia turned around and got back inside herself. The rest could wait a little longer.

Something was on Aradia's mind, that much was easily to discern. Even in the dark outside Kaalia had noticed as much, but the question Aradia had did come off as a little strange.

"Aradia, dear," the woman swiftly replied, "this house is for you as well. Your room is yours. This is your home just as much as it is mine, or your mom's and siblings'." Hopefully, she would come to understand that such questions were wholly unnecessary.

"You look like you have something to say, though. Come, let's sit down." Kaalia gestured to the couch before moving there and sitting down in her usual spot. The utterly simple habit of someone with a lot of history.
 
Aradia's feet dragged, the girl sitting on the further corner of the large sectional. It was quickly becoming a spot of her own, which would have perturbed her had she not already been knee deep in her stress.

Her back went rigid on the cushion, muscles ready to take flight.

"I don't have anything to say," she mumbled, though that wasn't true.

Vesta's saber sat hidden at her back-- a rule broken and a weapon snuck in. She was still braced for trouble. She wasn't over what had occurred. She deflected it with an easier topic.

"I think we'll need a change of clothes though..." They were five days into their current set and smelling ripe for it.
 

"I can tell you do," Kaalia remarked, ignoring the subversion of the topic. Even if Aradia was afraid of it, there was a clear need of an exchange of words regarding their previous encounter. "Maybe a story to break the ice. The reason why I value family."

The woman got comfortable, showing that not the slightest bit of tension in the room came from her. "I didn't actually meet my parents until... I think I was around twenty years old. Time flies..." The circumstances that had led to that day was a story all on its own. It wasn't all too relevant right now, however. Perhaps another time.

"Before then, I only had a Jedi master who refused to be any more than a stern lecturer. He... took the concept of 'no attachments' very far. I ran away in my teenage years, and for a long time I was alone." It was that time when her views on the galaxy began taking shape. That it was a broken, unfixable place, but those with the ability could create their own peace. Today, that peace was her home and her family.

"I was eventually recruited by a secret Force sect belonging to the old First order. I was no older than nineteen at the time. I made, and lost, my first real friend there. Before meeting Ishana, she was the only one I could trust. I have no idea what became of her, but our friendship taught me one of the most important lessons I ever learned."

Kaalia paused for only just a moment, recalling the image of that friend. Ara. She wouldn't forget her.

"Nobody can make it in this galaxy alone. You could be the most powerful being history has ever seen, but even then, we simply aren't made that way. Loneliness is a quiet poison, but a place where you belong is the cure. I found that with Ishana, and the family we now share. That's why everyone here, and don't you think that doesn't include you, is so important to me."

A deep breath.

"Can we talk about it now?"

They both knew what she meant.
 

Ishana Pavanos

Guest
Ishana checked on Gideon first and double-checked to make sure that he was in fact, asleep. It wouldn't be too unlike him to try to get out of bed in order to roam around the house. Azarin she didn't need to, but did anyway, only to find that the girl was asleep with a book on her face. Quietly and gently, Ishana lifted the book off her face and put it away neatly in the bookshelf not too far from the redhead's bed. Once that was done Ishana decided it was time to wrangle her teenagers, Xarielle and Xariah. They had been out talking with their aunts last she had checked, and as she stepped outside they were heading inside.

Good, Ishana thought, one less thing she had to worry about. The two were actually tired, between talking Aradia and hanging out with family, and having plenty to eat. The two of them really didn't seem to have much to argue with, school was still out for the rest of the holiday - a local provincial holiday. "Will Aradia stay?" One of the twins asked.

Ishana only shrugged, "that's up to Aradia."

They had been, as well as all of the children had been, but perhaps because of Aradia's age had been considered largely a big part of the decision making into accepting Aradia. They wanted Aradia to have a place to call home, a family who loved unconditionally, in all their fourteen years in this galaxy. They showed more compassion than most did in their whole life in that single moment. "I hope she stays," the other remarked.

More than anything, all any of the siblings wanted to do with Aradia was just to spend time with her. Aradia felt a lot like Ishana did at that age, perhaps with a lot less involvement from the Sith. Ishana too was a lost young one, wilder than anything else. Balmorra wasn't going to hold her down, and as soon as she learned to pilot a ship, Ishana had left. She scarcely came back home, and it wasn't until she met Kaalia that she even entertained the idea of making a home.


 
Aradia chewed on her lip, flushed cheeks growing warmer with the heat of the alcohol. She wasn't alone anymore though. She had Zaavik and Vesta and she didn't see why that had been such a problem. She didn't get most of it, actually. But she remember the way Kaalia's words in that cave had stung. She spoke without thinking, emotions pulling out a response that she was sure she would regret.

"... We were suppose to do this all together. You left, and you left me behind. I'm just trying to finish what we started but now I'm the threat? Do you remember who you use to be?"

She crossed her arms over her chest, disgruntled.
 

And like that, it felt like Kaalia was right back to taking verbal punches. Despite evidence to the contrary, accusations were still being hurled her way. Still, she had accepted everything that was to happen the moment Aradia came into the family.

"I do not consider you a threat. I never did, either. If you're talking about continuing your life as a Sith, it quite frankly makes no difference to me whether or not you continue to associate yourself with the philosophy. Just because I stepped away does not mean I ever expected you to do the same."

Perhaps Kaalia would rest a little easier knowing Aradia did not go down that path any further than she already had, but she would not let that influence her actions.

"And forgive me for my ignorance, but I do not understand what you mean when you say I left you behind. You did not want me there, last time, and made it clear that my visit greatly upset you." Emotion slipped through and became visible in her features, prompting her to take a moment before speaking again. The topic clearly weighed heavy on the woman.

"I'll be honest- I thought I had lost you, for good. All I ever wanted was for this family to be happy, and I clearly failed that day. I tried to let you know that the door will always be open, but..." The sentence was never finished. All her cards were being thrown on the table, a last gasp effort to get through to Aradia. She was trying everything she could to make something, anything, to stick.

"It's my responsibility that you have a home here, and the only thing that truly concerns me beyond that is that you're happy and healthy. It's my job as a mother to worry about you, but I don't want you to mistake that for judgment."
 
Aradia stared down at her shoes, one sentence rolling circles through her head. "You were... worried about me?" She echoed, slowly looking up. It had been a message that hadn't gotten across that day. The sword in her hand hadn't helped.

She had felt left behind from Kaalia the moment the woman stepped off the sith path without her apprentice.

I want you to be happy felt like code for putting it all down, but Kaalia hadn't lived through what she had. She hadn't seen what those battles were like.

She didn't know the demons that still chased them through the galaxy. She wasn't safe. She would never be safe. She didn't have the option to walk away. She had felt like that had been expected of her. Even of now... she wasn't entirely convinced. But she was getting there.

"I can't step away from it," she warned, her head weighed down by her troubles as she shook it. "Not yet. Now now. I need that woman, and I need you to support me on it."
 

Kaalia could've been direct with her deep-rooted distaste for the woman Aradia associated herself with. Aradia did not need her, no matter how many times she would say it. The simple truth was that Kaalia wanted nothing more than to see her daughter leave the Sith behind, and it nearly physically hurt her to bite her tongue, but she had to. Whatever reasons she thought she had, she did not need any of it. Still, she needed to say something.

"Continue living as a Sith only if you truly believe it's your path to walk. I've been in your shoes and I know how scarring it can be. Truth be told, I still have nightmares sometimes." A confession she had never made before. Only Ishana knew of it. It wasn't nearly as bad as the trauma-ridden soldiers the galaxy knew far too many of, but the memories of Kaeshana were forever etched into her mind.

Just nineteen years old, a newly-recruited disciple of Ren found herself in a ruined city center. Bodies were scattered all across the streets, her first confrontation with the most depraved side of the galaxy. That day, something irrevocably changed in her.

That same girl now stood atop a comms tower. The skies were dark, a storm born from the Force wreaking havoc around her. With her, one knight of Ren and one Sith lord. Surrounding it, five being with incredible mastery over the Force. Even looking back, their only chance at escape seemed impossible. Somehow, a desperate leap of faith had allowed her to live another day. Yet, a small part of her had died and the war-torn Kaeshana was its final resting place.

It was all she had, back then. Even the place that was supposed to be her home was nothing more than a place to prepare for the next battle, the next time she was to serve her nation with all she had and all she was. A never-ending cycle until the day she was to give her life for the greater good.

Kaalia wanted to apologize for everything she had put Aradia through. Time and distance had taught her just how wrong she had been, the path of suffering she had sent Aradia down. Right now, however, she was not sure it would've been taken the right way. Aradia still believed all of it to be a necessary evil, as far as Kaalia could see.


"This home was built to be a safe haven. Should the day come it no longer is, we will be long gone. " Just like how they had left Dromund Kaas well before the empire fell. "I swear on the Force, that the moment you let me, I will carry the burdens to let you live without ever having to worry again, because that is what this place offers you. Unconditionally." Kaalia had made her sacrifices so others did not have to.

Because that was what it meant to be a mother.

"And please understand that I am not forcing you into anything. In fact, I want you to know that you aren't forced into anything at all. Let nobody ever choose for you. Not me or anyone else."

Through all this, there was one thing Aradia had said that Kaalia wanted to ignore. All she wanted to do was tell her to stay away from that woman, to make her realize just how dangerous the likes of her truly were. Sadly, there simply was no way to make Aradia see that. Speaking the truth could all too easily create a brand new rift between herself and her daughter, but to vocalize her approval of the woman knowing full-well Sith like her were nothing but poison could only bring harm in the long term.

Kaalia sighed. She was visibly conflicted.

"I can still teach. Not as a Sith, but simply someone who has decades of experience with the Force. She is not your only option to learn." With every sentence, she quietly became more afraid of wiping out the progress they had made so far. What she said next, was especially terrifying.

"But... if you do go back to her, I will not stop you. I will deeply miss you here, but that should never affect your choices. Just... be careful around her. Do not let her change who you are."
 
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