The Gardener's Jewel (Dev Thread, Ask)

[Aithne Charr]

Solan's eyes focused in on the crysal before him as he sat in the Circle Eternal, eyes focusing on it and then turning to the notes he had to his right. What he was about to attempt was essentially tying his body to the force like his friend and then creating a crystal to amplify his abilities. Solan was unsure just how to begin the process though and all of this was a simple sad moment as he breathed in.

She had said he needed to accept everything.

To him that meant that he would need to accept that his past, of course but it also meant that he would need to accept all that the worlds had given him past his own suffering. He would need to drop all his mental guards and work against all the archieved pains, worries, and deaths that he had experienced as wwell as the very ones of Tahv and Kesh itself.

The prospect terrified him though, it scared him to the core as his hands held the crystal that was about the size of a baseball. There was more to it than just a worry when it came this entire problem. Solan was worried about how he would carry the object, worried if it might backlash. He had to breath though, he had to keep those worries at bay and his hands loosened on the crystal before finally setting it down and breathing in.

He closed his eyes and focused in on the crystal itself and the force around him. It was about time he worked and started. This was going to be a long project for sure.

 

[Aithne Charr]

He reached out and pulled on the force, letting his mind sink under it and breathing in as he knew what would come first as he drew on the very source of his power. The words that ran through his ears as he pushed his focus forward and had to get past the very first hurdle in his power, had to come to accept the very world around him and had to come to terms with the very thing that he was most terrified of. That memory that he hated to have, that nightmare which tore at him on the inside and his eyes closed as he let his body grow deathly still.

What remained of that deathly still body was Solan's focus on the crystal. The first step the notes head said was preparation of the crystal and its connection to the body, its connection to the one that it was meant for and that connection to just who the crystal would effect. This was not something he could do without true focus though, that was why his garden was closed off after all.

As he pushed on the force, the memory drew forth tears already, his body shaking as he pushed harder on the force and lowered his head. He wasn't sure how to deal with the pain he was feeling but he had to stay focused and not remove that tie in the force with the crystal. He had to make sure the two were linked and stayed so as he pushed on it, letting a visual representation of the process appear as vines grew between him and the crystal.

His eyes closed now, his mind surrendering itself to the memory as he drew from it the force and the power that he needed to do as he wanted to with the crystal. Pain and suffering was what he had always used for power, but not he needed more than just those and it fell on the teachings that Taeli had given him as well as the notes he had to his right. His eyes were closed but the world opened up around him, no the world of dantooine was before him and in specfic was a dark sapphire blue flower that he knew all too well. It was the first time he had grown one, and beside him was a woman he had not seen in a decade.

He had missed the sight of her.

 

[Aithne Charr]

Solan stared as he stood in the memory of his past, created by the force for him to revisit as he tied the crystal to his body, to his very form outside of his body. It was so real, so close and as he reached out to touch the flower, he felt everything correctly down to the damn air that had collected around him and the flower itself. He was actually home and he smiled, his eyes closing as the force moving into the jewel grew on a miniscule level. It had been a long time since he found joy in the world, true joy that was uncorrupted and selfish in its own right.

His physical body though shook, tears rolling from him as his hands had not moved an inch from the crystal. What he was seeing was through the force alone, and how he moved in that mindscape was through the force alone. His own body was silent, unmoving, and only showing that true happiness in the form of tears as he sat there.

Back within his mind he drew his hand back, his smile finally coming to his face before looking at his hands themselves. They were normal, no scars, or burns. No corruption or damage at all. Not even an illusion to have them appear this way. It was all there as he had remembered it ad even more than just his memories of it. To him every inch of what he was seeing, thanks to the force, was as real as it had been the day that he had originally seen it and it made him truly happy.

With that happiness came a smile in the physical world, as well as a true focus on the crystal before him. His body let it's own force energy leave himself as well as drawing in the energy around him from the flowers, bramble, the trees and the bushes. All of them tied together and moved around his hands as he used their aid to create that connection and to create that bond between the crystal and himself. Right now it wasn't even close to the end result, but a tiny glimer made him push a bit further, watching within his mind as the scene only pushed him further into that happiness and letting his power actually feel good for once.

"Solan, are you going to just sit there all day?" That voice was far too familiar. And he broke down crying in the memory there and then as the feminine voice reached him. He hadn't known that voice in so long.

 

[Aithne Charr]

Solan's body shook as he saw the memory, both within the memory and in the physical world. He was also smiling, but it was a smile that he had never worn before, something of true and absolute happiness as he stood there and breathed in to make sure what he was seeing was standing right there before him. For once he was happy and even the force understood that as his hands around the crystal became loose and relaxed, the energy flowing through him something foreign for a very long time. It had been a long time since he had found solace in the lightside, but this was no where near as powerful as his darker uses was. It still felt good for once though, even if it did sting because of his corruption.

That fact was mute though as he sat there in the mindscape that had been created for him to draw power from. It was hard not to be happy, hard to not abandon his work and simply focus on this memory for the rest of his moments while he still had it. But he knew that in the end it would simply fade away and he had more important work to get done. This Crystal would be one of the few things he could truly rely on in this galaxy to create a better place. So he would not be drawn away from focusing on it, even if his mindscape and the force gave him something like this.

"Well, are you going to answer me, or will you remain sitting there and miss dinner?" Her voice came again as he looked at the face. A woman he remembered every time he closed his eyes, a face that he had not seen since that night on Dantooine.

"Mother..."

He could only smile and rush her, hugging the woman and burrowing his head in her shoulder as he stood there. He hated this dream.

 

[Aithne Charr]

The hug seemed to stop time, cliche as the thought was he didn't care. He simply stood there and drew his eyes to the ground past her, knowing what happens to her and not wanting to let go. Not that his words would change anything, the force was simply giving him a happy deception, a cruel happiness that would only last for a few moments longer within the force itself. He was but a simple blip on the vast expanse that was given to the galaxy and he knew he would not be able to take that power so that he could keep this deception alive.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to strike out at the force or anyone nearby. He wanted things to change in the past.

He was being stupid.

His hands worked to add the flow into the crystal. Every second a single strand began to form and his hands moved to bring the crystal together and to tie it's very being with his own. It was like surgery of one's very being rather than a body, a vital mistake could even sever Solan from his body all together and trap him within the Void. That was something he dreaded but knew not to focus on. All that mattered right now ere the memories and using what he could from them to create the bonds with the crystal that would tie its power to his own. He needed it to amplify his powers and as long as he made sure that was the purpose he was creating, he would be safe from that fate of destruction.

Like threading a jet plane through the cables of a suspension bridge. One minor slip, one minor miscalculation. And he would cease to exist as he was.

 

[Aithne Charr]

The memory proceeded though, and he found his happiness only grow with each moment that it continued. He knew that this was all a falsity. That he was looking at a simple facade created to give his being a purpose and to explain who the man was that was connected to this soul. But he could care less about the fact it was all a fake. It gave him happiness and for once that joy flowed through him as a power source rather than pain and suffering, hatred and sadness, thing he knew all too well.

And what was that memory, it was his last day with his mother, their growing those flowers that she had created, those flowers that he had continued to grow. The immortal creations she had crafted, those flowers who need only the force and the air around them. It was strange to him still the method of creation but those were not his focus. No his focus was the power he could draw from this thought, draw though the force with the emotions that erupted, those of sadness and joy at the same time. It was that knowing of her death that brought him the former, and that this would be the last time she saw her son while she lived.

"Solan, if you keep thinking like that, you will lose focus."

He blinked, that wasn't part of the memory, it made him draw his eyes to her smiling face, those eyes he had gotten from her, blind as she was. "Solan, stay focused, you were creating that crystal for a reason right?" She was speaking to him and it spiked as he realized what was happen. He wasn't in a memory... well he was but the force had given him more than just the memory. This was actually his mother before him, her spirit given form by his mind and the force once more and he could only lose all words.

In contrast to his loss of words though, his hands worked with renewed focus as he replayed her words. She was telling him, teaching him, even as a spirit long sent to the Netherworld. Ever since Akala he knew the barrier between the two worlds had lessened but now, for once, he was seeing the effects. He was happy and he drew poer he had not used for many years. "Right, sorry mother... i got distracted..." That only earned him his hair being ruffled. Just like the old times, just like the days he had long forgotten about to spare himself.

She was dead, but he still had her.

 

[Aithne Charr]

He cherished the moments, knowing this wasn't just a simple memory anymore. And even while his focus did remain on the crystal, his work on it was given form within his mind. He plunged a spade into the ground, carving a whole and dropping a seed within it. This was the first and only motion though he would take though that would be without the force... well the apparent use of the force. Inside his mindscape, inside that memory, and giving form to the link he was tying between himself and the crystal, he used plantsurge. It was on two new seeds, he would regrow their memorial flowers in his mind, he would use that as the physical representation of the first strand that would tie him to the crystal before him.

It was a strange thought though. That this could create a metaphysical manifestation of the bond between himself and the crystal. It would be one of ten strands, those bonds that would seal the crystal to his being and give him that boost in his abilities that he required. He would begin far more important work coming from the future, and all that he could draw from that was the need for this reserve of strength.

Even the crystal though was something that had to be of his own creation. And along with the very inner reaches of his soul, the crystal would begin its first stage of change. The Crystal's color started to shift, that pale white changing and turning as it showed the slightest of a blue tint to it. Solan didn't so much as notice the change though, more focused on the plants before him as he grew them in that memory, as he created that metaphysical bond with the crystal.

It was but seconds in the world of the living, but inside he sat there and continued on the first of two flowers that would represent that bond. He would be drawing on them, drawing them out of those seeds, letting the roots take their place and reach towards the moon and stars, to the very heavens that didn't exist within this memory. All while this happened, his mother stood there beside him, watching, lending her support and lending herself to create that bond between the two.

 

[Aithne Charr]

There was something beautiful about the color blue, how it was that of the sky, of water, of clothing and even the hottest of flames. It was something that he couldn't quite explain and something that he found enticing ever since he had been a child, growing his first Mourner with his mother. It was a process that had integrated the color into his mind and following it came the other things associated with blue. Injuries, sadness, pain, suffering. They were all linked but Solan for now could only focus on those first understandings of the color.

He drew his hands towards the bud that stood at the end of the stem. He knew this was the most important part as one mistake would ruin the entire flower at this point. He peeled it apart and watched with eyes that neither shook nor blinked, his hands drawing apart the petals as the caught the moonlight and began to emit their light glow, watching as his face and that of the woman beside him became illuminated by the lumincience of the flower.

With that though, he could feel as the crystal started to finally take hold. But even that strand, that connection, was but half completed. That creation and that first pillar of what he was, of who he was. His hands tied and pushed the force through him and into that strand, watching as his hands moved from the finished flower to the second one. "He isn't here with you..." Solan's hands paused, held over the place where the second seed was. Even his physical body only held the half complete strand in place, not strengthening it yet as he kept it stable. He was saddened for a moment as he sat there both in that mindscape and in his body, watching with two sets of eyes at that strand in the force.

"He is, perhaps not a i am but he remains with me beyond the world you were left in." Her smile grew as she placed a hand on his shoulder, her other drifting to hover next to his. "Make sure that he is part of this memory in atleast one form. You know your father was never the nature type anyways..." Her smiled never dropped as he eased him to continue. And that he did. The force flowed through him without pause once more, tying and looping around the half done strand that connected him and the crystal. He wasn't anywhere near completion, but he knew things would be far from the same once this first strand was done.

 

[Aithne Charr]

Solan copied the process to the T. Making sure that everything he did floowed that formula that he and his mother followed when growing these flowers. And while in the memory he used only the energy that he needed, outside of it he was using far more. The force moved through him like he was being pushed into a whirlpool and expected to be able to just stand without his body being thrown around in it. the force floweed through him and while it did so, only a portion of it, a fraction, was moved towards the crystal. He was still in a delicate positio of having to ground himself in the true world while also being trapped in this bothersome chance of losing his very being to the force if he wasn't careful.

While his mind saw a tiny flower as the challenge, it as instead a tornado he was suppose to stop with his own hands, and without being torn off the ground and apart by its winds. It took almost everything not to let that mindscape crumble away, it took everything to focus on what was important and his hands touched the stem as it grew from the seed before him. It would take him hours more within this mindscape to even finish the flower, but he wasn't sure how long that was in the physical world.

The two worlds saw time differently, in one time was measurable, able to be relied on. But here it was simply what ever the mind demanded it be at the time. And it had been night for what felt like two days within his mind.

His eyes fell on the woman to his right though, her own eyes watching the flower grow. She was speaking again and it was a massive help on his ability to focus. She was probably the only reason he had been able to keep his focus so far, and he knew once this memory was over, she would return to the Netherworld, and he would be left to continue this alone. "You know, when i was growing these with you i had always known you would be forced to grow them alone one day. I had not expected it to be so soon, i had not thought you would be put in this situation when you had so much more to live towards... Your choices certainly surprised me though."

He had to admit, she was right. He had once been nothing more than a child to two parents, a simple fourth generation force user. And now he was placed before the weight of ruling a planet. He knew what she meant and he fully agreed. He was in a place that he had never thought would have been possible, hell he still sometimes expected to wakke up from some dream and be back in his bed on Dantooine.

"You know though. I think thats why im sure you can do this on your own... go ahead and finish the flower."

Before him remained the last part, the bud. The last part before the first strand's completion. He hesitated but closed his eyes. When he would open them, it would be done and he would need to move onto the next strand. That was when the pressure of her hand vanished and he knew it was time to move on and complete his task.

 

[Aithne Charr]

Solan's mind had been giving him a bit of trouble, his hands shaking at first when he brought them over the bud, he was worried and he wanted this memeory to last, he wanted to remain here. But he was pushed to continue, he wasn't sure by who though. His hands steadied and for a second he though someone was holding them like that but there was no one there, not even his mother anymore as he stood there with his eyes closing. He thought on the past, he thought on the world around him and he thought about if things might have been different if he hadn't chosen such a path.

He wondered if he had remained a farmer on the planet of plains, that he might be able to erase everything that happened. But he knew that was as much fantasy as time travel was. So he sighed and reached out with the force to peel the petals out, watching as a process he had done a hundred times was completed with the same long, slow motions that were expected of the growth of this flower.

Solan's hands gripped at the strand and pushed into it that last bit, pushing to strength and wind it all together. He had to make sure it was strong enough to seal himself to the crystal on a level that no physical means could hope to copy. His eyes opened as the flower was finished and the area around him grew dark and crumbled away. Just as he had thought the mindscape the force had crafted for him was leaving but as the ground grew black under him too, the flowers remained. The twin sapphire flowers, the twin blue lights that stared up at him from the ground.

The Representations of the first strand and its completion. They remained for those seconds he stood there as his smile returned. He was happy for once, truly happy. And he knew that this was the first strand's purpose. To help him move on past that sadness he had only found in their memory... he hated the force sometimes.

 

[Aithne Charr]

His hands reached out to touch the flowers, the first strand of his bond and he knew that he needed to start on the second now or else the problems could just grow for him. His hands left the first strand and drew their place to a new spot, pushing the force into the crystal and waiting for the world that would be born to take shape. His hands worked on the beginning signs of the next strand that would tie his being to the force and as he worked the world would soon find its existance. And his eyes shot wide when it did.

There infront of him was the one memory he despised more than any other in his head. There infront of him was the form of the woman that had taught him all he knew when he left Dantooine for the worlds of the Galaxy. And there he heard a voice that was all too familiar. "Looks like his father... Minus the hair..." The sith remarked to no one in particular before focusing on Solan's Mother. "And you must be the Jedi Knight Vanya. You truly are a beautiful specimen... perhaps i will take your heart as a prize... And no. I don't mean figuratively."

Back then he had snapped, back then he had broken, but all he could feel now was disgust and extreme hate. With that he fully understood what the force wanted him to do tis time, and he was not going to disappoint it as his hands laid her down. He broke down what was suppose to be a memory, the farmers were gone, the body of his mother vanished from their sighs and for a few moments the Sith seemed to actually become confused. But Solan knew what this was and he knew what was infront of him. "Im going to enjoy gutting you again... with something a bit new for you this time."

The sith just laughed, turning his head. "Try not to disappoint me welp, last time i assumed you were nothing but an untrained brat, and you got lucky, but ive been waiting all this time to get my revenge on you and to wring your neck like a towel." Solan glared and he drew the force into him, drew the force around him and tried to reach for a saber. Instead all he found was a wooden Bokken, a training weapon that was without any true killing power past brute strength. He didn't understand but that didn't matter to him. No all that mattered was the Sith's death, and with that death the strand would be created.

With blind rage, he gripped the Bokken in his hand and charged, pushing the force into his body and from there into the bokken. He would kill this damned monster once more.

And with each second, that Strand would take shape drawing on that power being fed to it.

 

[Aithne Charr]

All he remembered was striking, not a single hit landing but all he could remember was the sound of his blade hitting the blade of the Sith's. How that wooden Bokken didn't get sliced in two he didn't understand at first but his mind gave him the answer that he was looking for. His strikes continuing and the Sith simply smiling but he would kill this bastard one way or the other as his eyes flared in hate for the man that had returned from the dead to torment him once more. The Force had given him something that actually made him happy for once, just to make him relive his moments with this demon.

He would rectify this situation now.

As his mind was trapped in that battle between a spirit and himself, his work on the strand became unstable, he was pushing too much without any true control and he barely realized it as his body began to seize up. He was so absorbed in the death of that sith that he wanted it dead, he wanted it burned slowly, he wanted it crushed, he wanted it strangled, he wanted it torn apart, he wanted to bash its head in, he wanted it to never come back again and he would make sure that it was not going to come back.

He would see it wiped from even the Netherworld if he had to.

His control had almost vanished at this rate, his control vanished and his mind focused only on the rage and hate that was striking into his chest and through it. He was pulling as much of the force to his side as he could and pushing it out wish equal fanaticism. He was lost in the moment and there was without a single second spent trying to understand or make sure that the strand was stable. He just didn't care right now.

 

[Aithne Charr]

Solan pushed on as he had lost himself, the strand becoming unstable as the force lashed out in his head. A shot went through his entire body as he found it start to shatter from the inside. Only when this happened was he brought back to reason and his mind realized what had happened. He had let his focus wane so much that even as he stood there the force had lashed out and cut up his arm. It missed his arteries, but he was suddenly shown just how far he could have lost himself, how close he was to tearing apart his body and ripping him from his body all together on a level that would have sent him to the void without any chance to stop it.

His hands closed tighter and he reached out towards the mangled strand he had been creating, watching it grow calmer and in his mindscape this was seen in a different way as the Bokken he held found a bit of light to it. He watched and let the force flow through him calmly now even though he still felt that rage and anger. It was controlled though now, in the same way, that he had spoken about control and learned of it.

There was something else he could draw on now and it was his pain as he worked to bring the second strand under control. All while this was happening he could feel the pricks of pain as Kira moved to help him, licking the wound clean and doing what she could to stop him from losing too much blood before this was done... he was going to hate his life when he was finally through with this thing. That much was without a doubt true. And yet there was that pain from the actions of Kira and his own eyes experiencing the death of his mother all over again. He looked once more at her corpse and while he was filled with more that emotional pain that reaved its way into one's heart, he understood it.

His eyes found the Bokken once more as he pushed the force into it, understanding that was the Strand but he was unsure what to do as far as strengthening it. Even if the Bokken was the representation of the second strand, it didn't make sense to him, it made no sense that it was the object he was supposed to push the force into. He had even had it back then and now he was supposed to just accept that it was supposed to connect him to this crystal in the same way the flowers had. Why didn't he have his mother's saber?

 

[Aithne Charr]

Solan's hands tighted around the Bokke as another cut showed on his arm within the mindscape, being the tenth to appear after the Sith struck out. He was not this good, he was not this powerful. The Sith was actually serious now, there was no surprises that Solan could do and his body was being cut to ribbons inside this mindscape. He wasn't sure if the demon could kill him like this, in this state away from his body but he was not going to let himself find out as he pushed more of the force into the Bokken, into the strand, and drew it down to connect with the Sith's saber as he huffed.

He wasn't actually tired, atleast his physical self wasn't. But the mental strain of almost losing himself to the force had left his mind flip flopping like no tomorrow. He was torn between what was real and what wasn't and right now that demon felt very very real.

The Flowers had been easy though, that had been an easy strand and yet this second one felt like he had no idea what to do. He couldn't stabalize it without losing focus on the Sith, and he couldn't fight the Sith without losing his focus on the strand itself. He knew how to keep the regulation of the flow of the force back under control, but he could only judge that by how much light the Bokken in his hands gave off. Nothing was simple and nothing was right as the saber found its mark once more and hit him across the cheek, searing a line through it and causing his body to back itself up from the Sith.

Why couldn't he do this.

Why was this no longer as simple.

What was he missing in being able to understand why this was important to tying himself to the Crystal.

 

[Aithne Charr]

He didn't really understand what breaking bones felt like, not before. But now he more than understood as his hand hung to his side, only his right hand holding the bokken at this point as he was thrown into another wall. Blood came up, like bile from the sickly and stained the front of his clothing. He couldn't move and he tried to focus as his eyes began to fail him. His hand clenched onto the Bokken with his head lolling to the side.

All he could focus on was the Pain at this point, letting the pain push over into him. But it wasn't just physical as he was forced to watch his mother die, but something was wrong. He kept seeing it, over and over and over. And yet not one time was it the same as the others, every time he kept seeing things as they weren't even though he more than remembered how she died. These weren't quite right, and why did he keep seeing them, why was he being subjected to this pain again and again.

It was starting to wear on him.

He wanted it to end, he wanted it all to just vanish. He wanted to be taken by the void so that he stopped seeing those. He had lived with that pain enough, he wanted it gone. Why was it important he relive this, why was it important that he not end it. Why can't he just kill the bastard who made him suffer, why was this strand so much harder and what would he not let Solan simply rest.

Why did he have to feel this pain again and again... why did he have to see her die... why can't he kill this demon.

 

[Aithne Charr]

His body had seized up, though the force continued to flow, he was not breathing. Even his blood slowed and his heart was barely beating at all. He was dying, he had done something stupid, he had tried to do something that he was not ready for. He could not kill this Sith, he could not kill this sith, he could not live.

But why, he still wanted to know why, he wanted to know why he didn't use his fire, why he didn't use his plants, why didn't he crush his neck, why didn't he attack the Sith with more power. Why was he given the Bokken to fight, and why was it meant to be his weapon when he was going to die because of all of this. Why was the force giving him a weapon that could not kill without being the being into a bloody pulp. That kind of power was not in him to do, so why does he have a weapon that can't kill the Sith...

He can't kill the Sith...

Those words, those words infuriated him, the pain that he was suffering and the Force would not let him kill the Sith. It would... it wont... why wont it though. Why is it handycapping him against a demon, a creature that deserves death. He was maintaining the strand, he was pushing on trying to strengthen the bond between the crystal and himself. But all that happened was a stalemate followed by him suffering.

Why was he suffering, why wont it let him kill the Sith. Was he suppose to just die, was that what the Force was asking of him?

It was kill or be killed.

 

[Aithne Charr]

The strand, the second strand. It struggled in his hands as it remained stable but would not strengthen so that it could remain without his influence. It was like a ribbon, too much pull and it would simply be broken, too little and it would sag before simply falling from Solan's grasp. That strand that connected him to the Crystal refused to remain stable and it left him sitting there without an understanding of what he is suppose to do. He was in pain, more pain than even Makeb had thrust onto him and he was very close to simply shattering mentally.

The strand was reflecting that state as it lashed out and against the hands trying to restrain and stabalize it. It didn't lash out like the first time not yet atleast, but each time it hit his hand he could feel a part of himself being torn away and his eyes just sunk lower inside that body which was being destroyed by that demon. All he felt was pain and suffering, he was tired of it. It felt like it would never end and he felt himself drawing his hands away from the strand. Death would end this, the void would end this, he was ready to simply accept that pain was all he would feel because of his actions.

And yet, he felt none in that moment, he felt perfectly fine and he felt like he hadn't even been touched. His body sat against that stone, knowing he had been thrown against it. His hands held onto the Bokken but he knew that he wasn't doing so before. Even the strand itself was stabalized, it was calm and it didn't need him to hold it in place which allowed him to push the force into it. Why though, why was the bond suddenly stable and why was the force letting him cement it. He had been ready to simply accept the pain that it was showing him, he was ready to die and to let the sith win.

But something didn't make sense either. Because as he stood slowly, still pushing the force into the Bokken in his mindscape, his body pushing it into the Strand in the physical world. What had been standing over him and laughing was now on the ground, beaten and bloody, just as Solan had been a second ago. Solan couldn't swing though, he couldn't break the Bokken over the Sith's head. Instead he looked at it and watched it, putting all his focus into feeding the force into it as he stood there. The Sith was right there, he could kill him.

 

[Aithne Charr]

The Bokken stopped as he swung, inches from the Sith's head and he sighed as his eyes closed again. He still felt that pain, he had thought he no longer did. But he could feel it as real as the sunlight was. It was simply a matter of that he didn't care anymore. The pain was there and he was more than ready to acknowledge that fact without feeling anger or hate towards the man that had made him suffer. Instead he felt pity for him as he laid there spitting venom at Solan.

Solan's hand took the Bokken and turned it, so that he was holding it in his other hand, styled much like a reverse grip. Then he gripped it tight as he forced the rest of his pain into the blade, using that pain as his main source of power as it turned from a brighter light into a darker one, almost like it was dripping shadows before he shook his head. "I think i understand now. Pain is like an infection, it leads you to want to end it and to ignore it but not to accept that it will always be there. You stole my joy and my happiness all those years ago and instead of controlling that pain and understanding it, i wanted to simply cut you out of my memories for good... But you will always be there." He reached up and stuck.

But it was not with any force that would kill the man, instead it was reserved, he had struck with the intent of knocking him out and as soon as the Bokken hit, the black color that had envelopped it faded away to leave only him standing with the Bokken in his hand, beside him were the two blue flowers and nothing else.

He smiled as his body came to sit down, his feet were slid under him as he placed the wooden sword down, letting it remain as it sat there. It looked no different than that of an ordinary sword, not a distinquishable mark, and yet, it remained as the object that would represent the second completed strand. He didn't quite understand the purpose behind that but his eyes fell on the flowers once more before sighing. This was taking alot out of him and he wasn't even close to being done.

 

[Aithne Charr]

Solan's hands rested at his knees, breathing in slowly as he waited for his body to return to normal. He had brough himself out of the mindscape that he used in order to stay focused on his task and allowed the Force to give him representations of what it was he could use to signify each strand that he created between himself and the Crystal. That last strand had left him drained though mentally and he could do nothing more right now without something to drink.

Of course though he could not tear himself from the crystal now that he had started, so while both hands were focused on keeping the flow of the force heading into the crystal, Kira got him a canteen and held it up to his mouth while he worked. Sure it was a bit awkward considering the Ashlan wolf had to sit on his shoulder to even try this, but it was working well enough for now.

He also observed that the cut on his arm had stopped bleeding which gave him some solice in the fact he wouldn't bleed to death. But this was the only thing that gave him that moment of ease, the rest of his mind was focused on the crystal and hoping that that was the last time something that taxing was pushed on him. Out of the ten strands needed to complete the bond with the crystal, he wasn't even a quarter of the way through and wasn't sure just how much of that punishment he could take if he lost control one or two more times.

He sighed and looked towards the crystal. He would need to start the third strand soon, he had already taken long enough on the bit of rest that was afforded to him. If he stalled too long he might drain himself dry before he even gets close to finishing the Crystal. And if that happened then he would be out of luck when it came to living through this process... hopefully with both hands attached to his body. Because at this rate he was seriously doubting his safety.

 

[Aithne Charr]

Solan blinked, feeling the sheets as they folded around his body and rolling to find himself looking from a ceiling to a wall out of confusion. A bed, why in the hell was he in a bed. His own thoughts were son answered as he turned back on his back ad tried to sit up, only to find a shot of pain go right up his spine. If there was one thing about this whole experience of creating this damned Crystal,, he was going to definitely suggest the next person take some painkillers with them because the entire process so far has been either awesome, or suck immensely.

Sadly he wasn't quite sure where he was this time, the noise told him a city but as far as he could tell he was in a makeshift bed with little light bleeding in. To him this was about five years of his life wrapped up into one scene, and two years of that was spent in a bed or injured, so who knows if he was just punched in the gut, or if he had gotten sick. To be honest though something about the room seemed eeriely similar but he couldn't quite put his hand on it.

What was it about this new place he wondered. None of it was really spectacular...

"Oh good, you are awake. I was worried that you might have been a corpse ater ffalling out of that building..." His eyes blinked as his head turned to look towards the voice, and he was rewarded with a sight that he didn't quite register at first, his hand reaching up to brush the crimson locks out of her clean, pale face. "K-kira..." His voice broke, she wasn't a Jedi Master, or a Sith with a hatred for him, how was she here, how was she standing before him.

Maybe she was just part of the memory. "Im not Solan, i don't quite understand but im here. Just as real as your hand is outside of this memory of yours..." Her eyes stared down at him as he started crying, her own eyes watering as she leaned forward and hugged the one who she had fallen for before her death. He could only cry though, his words trapped in his throat. He loved her... but that was not why he cried... he had abandoned her too.