The Gardener's Jewel (Dev Thread, Ask)

[Aithne Charr]

Solan's body was relaxed now, feeding the force into the crystal as the strand grew, but this time seemed slower not for the same reasons that the others had been. The strand remained stable, it remained growing, but it was almost in slow motion that it grew compared to the erracticness of the second strand or the normality that the first strand itself had spawned. IT was like the strand was taking as long as it could in forming and becoming stable as the end result demanded of it.

Inside Solan's mindscape though, he could only cry into the shoulder of the girl that he had lost, and she into his own as they held eachother tighter. She didn't look any different, only older to account for the years that he had missed but otherwise she was still the same old girl that she had been the day that he had left... apparently he had changed more than a small amount as she backed up and looked over his face with a smile. It was then that for once he realized that his face was not like it had been when he had met her, instead it was his own face that he now wore.

"You know, those mistakes are not something you have to hide. Sure they make you look a bit strange, but everyone has scars in their past, maybe they are like paper cuts, maybe they are as bad as yours, but its those scars you can't see that are far worse..." Her smile as she touched his face and the illusion faded for a second before returning. Her touch was soft, not wanting to mare the features that she saw before her and as they simply remained there all that crossed Solan's mind was that he had abandoned her.

He had abandoned her so long ago, he didn't mean to, he thought he would return but in the end it had never come to pass. Solan was scared that he would fade away again before he could amend for that. Instead of speaking though, instead of apologizing, all he could do was stare before she took his hand and made him look at her in the eyes. "Don't forget to keep up your little thing that you are doing... otherwise i might disappear before you finish it." She was remembering him to keep up with the crystal, she knew that it was the only reason that she was here... he didn't need to rush though.

 

[Aithne Charr]

He had finally stopped crying, it had taken him at least a dozen minutes, if not more. He had simply fallen apart without meaning to at seeing her. She, on the other hand, had sat down on the bed and simply held him tight against her. It seemed so real that he had to keep remind himself that this would not last and as soon as the strand was secure between him and the crystal that his would be the end of their moment. He wanted it to last forever though, he wanted it to remain like this until the end of his life had come and claimed his spirit.

It made him sader thinking that the end would come for their moment and soon enough it was looking that way as he sat there. "Kira, i-" She smiled as he spoke, placing her hand over his mouth before adding in a quick sentence. "Thats the name of Her now, we both know the name that you prefer..." Her eyes stared at him as she waited for him to use the alias that she had grown so fond of even after he had learned her actual name.

"Rose, im sorry, im sorry that i l-" Again she cut him off as he tried to speak. She would not let him apologize for anything as it was far beyond his power to change or fix. Life had dealt them their hand and even after he had never returned she had remained waiting. Even on her death be she did not hate him or did not find any malice towards him, instead there was the simple sadness of never seeing him again and knowing that their daughter would be on her own. It was horrible at the time but in the end everything had worked out for them... well almost. "Stop dwelling on the past, we are here now are we not and as far as i am concerned, that is enough."

Solan could only stare though, finding any words lost before they could even form. It was like his mind couldn't quite believe that here was his chance to reach out and hold her again and again for as long as it lasted, yet it felt wrong all at the same time. For him he had abandoned her, he had left her alone on that scum filled planet but to make her happy he nodded and didn't pursue the topic. If he had it would have thrown him out of control again and instead he could only just stare at her.

On the outside though he was busy continuing the construction of the bond with the crystal. The Strand was growing as it had before, tying it to his heart and the crystal as it slowly became visible to those who could look into the force. At the moment it was but a shadow of the other two but it was clear that it was growing. Maybe it was that small fact that he was finally able to focus that brought the otherwise smooth growth of the strand compared to the second one.

 

[Aithne Charr]

She had left him to get some water, being that he was still injured from the bomb that had shot him from the window back then. But something made him urious about the situation compared to the last time. This time he could tell that the strand was being formed but he wasn't feeding the force into anything in this memory, infact this seemed like even more of a reprieve if it wasn't for the fact that he definitely still felt the force flowing through him. It seemed that his body was almost acting on its own at this point and pushing the force into the crystal while he got to experience this moment and be with the dead loved one he had never thought to see again.

But that didn't make sense to him. He should need something to keep his mind focused on the process that he had started, instead his mind was being allowed to basically wander while the force flowed through him without him doing anything. Had he gotten to the point where his body could do as it needed without influence from himself... no that didn't make sense because he would still need to act on it even if he was at the point. Sure his body would be able to generate the field and to regulate the force on its own at that point, but he needed to be the one to draw in the threads of the force and then through him.

So why was he able to do this on his own... he also noticed something else, this third strand was taking much longer than the first or second, it was at a state that was a fraction of the other two. Was that because he wasn't actively doing the drawing of the force, or was that something else. Why was this like this he wondered... it should be far different than this if what he had been lead to believe about the process was true. It made him curious all the further about why he was in this memory and why Kira was here.

 

[Aithne Charr]

Kira had returned soon after his thoughts, and he had not spoken yet as she tended to the wound. It wasn't much, mostly just bandages that needed to be reapplied but as she began that feeling that something was wrong nagged at his mind. Had he miscalculated on how many strands would actually be needed? Was there suppose to be progressively stronger ones as they continued on or was this some strange difference between the last two and the current strand. IF he was right he should be focussing on applying the force to something but instead he was just sitting there with her.

His eyes found her once more as he sat there and he questioned why he was thinking about that when he could be using, this time, to talk to the woman he had lost. He could be using it to have the happiest memories possible being that he knew this would not last forever. But as if reading his mind, Kira's eyes found his once more as she looked into them with that stupid smile of hers. She always smiled for some reason, even when she had been dying he knew that her smile was the one thing their daughter likely saw up until the last moments... maybe even after them,

It was like she knew that this would all end and didn't even care. She was truly happy to see him and he was too, it just wasn't coming out with his mind focused on the bad. "I should make you the tea that you love. Pyro Flowers mixed into a boiled pot of water... you know I taught you how to make you that back then right. Your face was so endearing when you had first tasted it and reacted like it was the best thing you had ever tasted before..." He had forgotten about that day. Back then he had been stubborn and wanted to leave, so instead she had smacked him in the face with one of the books she had given him to read and soon after brought him a cup with tea in it for him as well as one for herself. They had sat that day for the rest of it, just drinking the tea and enjoying the night.

"Yes, I would love some..."

 

[Aithne Charr]

And so they sat there, his hand closing around the warm cup as the tea within it filled his senses in the same way that it always did. It was a strong taste, something sweet but without overpowering the senses. It wasn't too hot either as the point was to simply get the taste of the petals to meld with the tea rather than to let it be overpowered by the taste. It didn't even need sugar or sweetener of any kind. It was something that he had loved ever since his first cup of it and it was something he had always expected to love from that moment on.

Her hands messed with something around her neck, though, a necklace that he remembered all too well. It was the necklace he had given her the night before leaving Nar'Shadaa and it was the necklace that he had spent every credit he had left on. It was the last thing he had been able to give her... with the exception of their accident that followed its being given to her. He had smiled as he saw it and seeing him smile her own hand slipped up to touch it.

"You know, I was wearing it that day that I had come to be in that world that is so different from the rest of the Galaxy. Some of the places there are so cruel to the people that are there and it makes me feel like things could be different for a lot of the place if there was simple-" Solan laughed as she talked about the afterlife in the same way that one would talk about the physical world. There was no changing the netherworld and he knew that this world only existed as long as he worked to create the crystal itself. For a few moments, he thought about something but he knew doing it would condemn her to the void if the crystal was ever shattered. "Stop laughing, it's mean."

He would love to haver her around him once again, though, she always kept him happy when she was around and his lips met the cup once more as he looked at her with a smile. "You know, I've missed you so much, Rose... It's been so long since we have been able to sit together and drink like this... though I've been adding a bit extra to my tea lately to help with a certain stinging pain." She sighed and pushed his shoulder which stung when she did it, causing him to yelp.

"Stop spiking my tea, it taste good enough."

 

[Aithne Charr]

Solan's hands continued to work on the strand as it was only a fourth of the way to completion. It seemed to be working at half the speed that it was before and while he continued to wonder about that within the Mindscape, that and his focus on the woman he had not seen in many years. Either way, he wanted to know why it was going at such a slow pace.

But for now, that question was pushed to the side as he was at one of the points where his hands needed to shift to tighten up the strand and make sure that it remained stable throughout the rest of the process. It was something small that would need to be done, and to tell the truth it wasn't something that took an overly large amount of focus. but it did require him to draw some focus from the mindscape and repurpose it to the crustal completely. This was almost as agonizingly slow as it had been already, though it worked a bit faster with his focus shifting more to the crystal instead of the mindscape that he had found himself retreating to during this entire process.

His hands reached out and worked like they were tending to a loom this time. running down the length of the strand and working to straighten it out and loop the different threads into one collected form that would be able to hold when it came to the strain that would erupt from such a bond between a living being and an object without any force connection aside from those very tiny specks that were reserved mostly for the use of the crystal in other ways like inside sabers.

 

[Aithne Charr]

After the strand had become connected, his presence returned to the mindscape and this time, it was instead of in a bed that he found himself sitting beside Rose already in a different room. She was leaning against him as he sat there and for a few seconds he thought about shaking her awake. But something stopped him as he looked at the necklace around her neck, for a few seconds, his eyes found themselves stuck to it before he looked back up to her face and smiled. She was happy with him finally beside her again.

Being that she was asleep he could devote most of his focus to the crystal once more, pushing the force into it while he sat there next to her. It was still background noise when it came to the situation as he was more interested in enjoying the fact she was beside him once more than he was about working on the crystal at the moment. Granted the focus he had shifted to the crystal didn't seem to change the pace of the strand's creation but it was worth making sure that he didn't screw up on the strand.

It was at that moment that she started to wake from the little nap he had returned to himself and with her eyes looking up at him she sighed. It was strange seeing her not smiling for a moment, simply looking at him like she knew the same thing that he did and that this was only temporary but even with that thought her smile didn't lag long behind her expression of slight sadness. IT was a change that he was more than happy himself to see as her smile had been one of the most inviting things about her.

"You know, that crystal is going to be quite a unique little item if what I think you are using it for..." She spoke to him as she sat there, surprising him as she talked about it. "I don't know how but I know what you are trying to do. Like I have known ever since appearing in this fake memory of ours. It was something that bugged me for a while there but in the end i put it out of my mind so that i could just sit here with you and not care."

 

[Aithne Charr]

He finally had something to use the force on while he was within the mindscape, well not to use the force as more to imagine its effects in altering the mindscape as he put the actual focus in the force through the hands of his physical body. Inside the mindscape though his hands worked and tended to a flower as he sat there in front of the indoor garden... well pots, that had been in the apartment back then. Growing the Pyro Flowers once more that had been used up and remembering that while this was something he could have any time, it was something that she had to continue to grow over and over if she wanted to have it and as such was a drink of celebration rather than anything else.

Either way, it was giving him something to focus on and that was more than enough to keep him from feeling too odd about all of this. She wasn't far behind, though, but instead of watching him and being beside him, she was busy attending to the still grown ones with careful hands. "You know, aside from the flowers, you are the one that got me into growing things far more often. You should have seen the apartment before I died." Her eyes focused in on the flowers once more before looking at him with a raised brow. "Not like your new garden, though. And sorry, I went snooping through your memories while you were busy with your crystal and I found some interesting ones.... including a certain night at a bar."

His face paled almost instantly, knowing which night she meant and for a second he coughed and looked down before she grinned and poured a bit of the water on his head to snap him out of it. "Oh stop sulking. I'm not mad, to be fair I was dead at that point so it's not like I was waiting for you anymore at that point so you have no reason to feel remorse for moving on with your life... you really should do that though Solan. Sitting around in this life without anything to move onto is not healthy. You won't live if you don't try to find something new."

Her hand came over and rested on his hand as she sat next to him, all that he was thing was read by her. She could tell ho we felt, it was like she knew just what to look for though at this point it was a bit easier considering that she was essentially inside his head, for now, thanks to the Force giving him yet another spirit to converse with. He wondered why it was giving him these people that he had known so long ago, but at this rate he reasoned that it was impactful individuals who it was showing him... what came next though confused him considering that he was nearing the end of those who were dead.

 

[Aithne Charr]

He was out, this time, he had needed a walk... or whatever it was he was doing inside his head at this point as he could have simply left the mindscape temporarily like before but for now he rather walk as he could work on the strand with a bit more focus than before. Not nearly as much as it would be if he gave undivided focus to the crystal and only it, but that would have driven him to be far more annoyed and through with this entire process than if he simply remained in the mindscape and gave himself something else to focus on in conjunction with the crystal he continued to supply with the Force.

But there was this nagging feeling he was getting, this nagging feeling that he was going at so much slower of a post than before and maybe it was that fact that was affecting him so. This was something that he couldn't quite understand but as he found the comparison with the last strand come to mind, it was not the same. This time was different in that the entire feeling was instead of a frustration, it was a worry. He was worried that he might stale for too long to truly figure out why this was like this before he was done. Sure it would take a bit longer from what he had come to understand but he wanted to understand the difference a bit better.

That was when the voice of a certain red haired vahla sounded behind him as all others vanished. "You know, you ran off so fast that you could be trying to do it again..." Her smile was there but the words still hurt, something she made sure to fix immediately. "Come on dreamer, you have something to see and I can promise you that it will help with your little problem up in your head that i can see your gears turning to try and figure out. IF you don't come, then i guess im going to have to simply make you sleep on the roof tonight. And we both know thats bad for the lungs."

 

[Aithne Charr]

He stared as she led him to a place that he had never actually seen before, but where his memories had taken from before, instead he was given sight into something very different. He was seeing one of her memories instead and as he stared at it, he was even more confused. What was up here, there should be no way that her memories should be touching his own and there should be no way that she was actually bringing him to them as it were. At least that's how he understood it. The mindscape should be a creation based on his own mind, not on hers.

"Solan, you really need to understand that I am gone. Even this moment between us is a fabrication that our minds are trying to make as real as possible and you will need to understand that. While I want to be here as long as possible, only keep me here long enough that is needed. If you tear me from that other world for too long, I might find that place you worried about earlier. You don't want that and I certainly do not want to see you sad. So make sure that you finish this crystal of yours... but first." She smiled as her hands reached up and pulled him down to kill her.

The movement was slow and without hesitation. He wanted to smile, he wanted to nod, but all he did was stand there and enjoy the moment after all this moment was more than anything he could have asked the force for and only once the kiss ended did he lean his head against hers once more with his eyes meeting hers. The Necklace hung from her neck as it shone in the light that cascaded onto them.

Outside of his mind the Strand grew and solidified, halfway to the point of finally being able to sustain itself. Solan was fine that it would take a little bit longer, that there would be a while yet before he would have to move onto the next strand and to craft its very being. But first, he had a memory to enjoy, and that he was going to.

 

[Aithne Charr]

After that moment, Solan had found himself focusing on the world that was being created inside is mind a bit more than before. Sure he still focused on maintaining that strand, that connector between himself and the Crystal, but there was no way that he was going to take advantage of this chance he got to live in the few days like he had wanted to. He was with the person that he would never see again, or at least for a long time, once more. It was strange to tell the truth, seeing these memories mixing with those actions that are far different from what had happened back then.

He had figured out what he was supposed to figure out, that thing that the strand was based on already but that thing was the reason he had dropped the amount of the force that he was pushing into the crystal. Sure slowing down the process was dangerous when it came to him having the energy to finish the crystal itself, but he was willing to risk that for a few extra memories with the woman who he would have to move on from and do so otherwise have her beat him with a book or spill water over his head again the next time they saw.

He was happy that he knew she was in the better regions of the Netherworld. After having seen the worst of that world, he could feel a bit of happiness in that she was not being put through those torturous sessions that he had been privy to learning about. It was strange but that knowledge that she wanted him to move on while it barely helped did kee him from simply just laying around in sorrow. He wasn't saying it would be easy to move on, but it would be something she wanted him to do, something he would have to do for her.

 

[Aithne Charr]

Solan breathed in as he was back in that small room with the pots in it, letting the stem of one of the flowers wrap around the hand before it. It was a representation for him to focus on while he worked on the crystal in the physical world. He had come to realize a few things that the notes had been wrong about as he sat there and touched on the vines like they were the most fragile things to exist in the universe.

That thing he was wrong about was the number of strands and the reason he could tell is every moment that the third strand neared its completion. It seemed that he could feel the connection to the crystal in such a way that he had never expected to feel, and in turn with that he was no longer in his memories he had come to realize. Instead, he found himself in Rose's memories, and in conjunction with that fact came her sickness that the Force was making her suffer through again. He wasn't sure how he should deal with it and to him he knew what the end would lead to but that didn't mean he couldn't do what he had missed back then.

It was that reason he was in that little garden like area, his hands tending to her flowers while her form slept and rested. Unlike before he wasn't jumping around from memory to memory anymore, instead it was like time was flowing normally though it wasn't. He wondered if this was her doing it or if it was the force doing it, but he was happy enough getting to spend what felt like a few weeks with her.

Sure he knew it was all fake, but he didn't care.

So his hands came to run a hand across one of the flower's petals, rubbing it and smiling.

 

[Aithne Charr]

Solan placed a hand on her head as he moved through the apartment within his mind, watching her sleep and wiping away the blood she had coughed up in her sleep. He was sad to see her like this but he knew that it was far past the time that he could have actually done something and he knew that she was showing him the end of her life as an end to their time together. He had come to realize what binding himself to this crystal meant, it meant that he was moving on from the past and he was moving towards his future when it came to his work.

She was here with him and for a few seconds, he lost himself as he collapsed back in a nearby chair and watched her. He was dealing with what was otherwise his end to this chapter of his life. Her eyes were looking at him though as he blinked and returned to the world before him. She was smiling as her hand weakly touched his leg. Reaching up with the other hand she worked to remove the necklace that she wore and reached out to give it to him. It was the same necklace that he had given her and gotten back through their daughter having it. It was the one he had given her before he had never seen her again.

That much was enough to know why she was giving it to him and as soon as the necklace hit his hand, everything else vanished.

He was standing in that void, holding the necklace that was her tie between him and the crystal, it was that last strand that he had misunderstood why had taken longer than the other ones. It was that which left him standing there in sadness. He was sure that that was the last time he would ever have seen her again. And only once he was dead would he get to see her once more.

He hated that he had decided to create this damned crystal.