Private The New Strange

[Darth Assimilus]

"The head Kainite himself, of course," She said with a calculated smile, knowing that this was quite the "speak of the devil" moment.

"Darth Carnifex. But my master is a powerful man, and not an enemy I can afford to make"

"Besides, the Kainites would never be on the losing side of any civil war, because they would not be fighting Eternalists. My master and Empress Talon are much too close for that, he'd never raise a hand against her"

....

"I hope that does not change my status as a guest? I am here of my own volition, in my own free time. Neither I nor the Kainate mean any harm in my being here, if they even know. I'm only here to further my education, Similar to those acolytes you spoke of"

For a long moment, Darth Assimilus said nothing. The revelation of her master—Darth Carnifex, the Eternal Father of the Kainites—hung heavy in the air, not out of surprise, but rather due to the complexity of the situation. The flickering red glow of his optics dimmed momentarily as his internal systems processed this information.

Carnifex. A Dark Lord of the Sith and twice Emperor held unparalleled power, an indomitable force that kept the Sith Order intact during times of civil war and collapse. But a philosopher? No. His focus on the collective—the Kainites' obsession with the subservience of the individual for the sake of the whole—stood as a direct contradiction to everything I believed in. Where Carnifex demanded submission to the greater will, I saw stagnation, an unwillingness to allow individuals to flourish on their own merits, to truly evolve and transcend limits. This fundamental conflict of ideals stirred a quiet disdain within me.

When he finally spoke, his voice was calm but carried the weight of his thoughts, tinged with a faint edge of disapproval. The childlike tone his vocabulator usually maintained was replaced by a deeper, more deliberate pitch.

"Darth Carnifex," he began, with the slightest hint of contempt, though carefully measured. "Your master is a man of undeniable power and vision. His reign ensured the survival of the Sith Order in critical moments and cycles, preserving its strength when it might have crumbled under internal pressure or external forces. In that regard, I respect what he has accomplished."

His optics flickered, scanning Kaila once more, now assessing her more carefully. "But his philosophy is... limiting. It served its purpose during the instability of the past, when unity and survival were paramount. Yet now, the galaxy has changed. The Sith have changed. No longer is it simply one doctrine. Individuals have choices now. The Eternalist, Tsis'kaar and many others. To focus on the collective over the individual is to ignore the true strength of the Dark Side—its ability to empower each of us to transcend our limits. And in that, Carnifex's philosophy is... outdated for the current era."

Assimilus shifted slightly, the hum of his cybernetic enhancements filling the momentary silence with a high pitched whine. His disdain wasn't directed at Kaila herself, but rather at the ideas that had shaped her through proxy. "You've been exposed to a damaging philosophy, one that would have you believe the individual is expendable for the sake of the greater whole. It is a form of control, subtle yet pervasive, that undermines personal evolution. I imagine you may feel entirely disarmed against my own philosophy or distrusting."

His tone softened slightly, the cold logic of his words giving way to a more practical statement. "As for your status as a guest—no, this revelation changes nothing. You are here of your own will, as you have stated various times before, seeking knowledge as all who come here do. To discriminate against you because of your master's affiliations would be contrary to my own goals. This temple is open to those who seek evolution, regardless of their past or their current allegiances."

" Though I must say I am surprised by your faith in the relationship between your master and Empress Talon." He added.

Kaila Irons

 

[Kaila Irons]

"I suppose you're right" She sighed

"It's entirely possible that my faith in their relationship is misplaced, that I have misunderstood what I have seen. And it is a damaging philosophy that I have been lectured on, certainly for one's individuality, yes"

"But we both assume much, don't we?"

Her tone was not accusatory, but rather reflective. Understanding even, Too understanding for a true Kainite in fact.

"I assumed that you were like him, albeit more subtle. You assume not only that my distrust stems from his philosophy, but that I share it"

The words rolled off her tongue slowly, deliberately as she alluded to the nature of her loyalties rather than stating them outright.

"I may be his apprentice, yes, in fact one of his most successful students as of recent events, but that does not mean my duties as a seeker limit my studies solely to the literature of Kainites"

"It would have been more difficult for us to speak otherwise" She would gesture around the temple as they continued to walk, knowing that her unique duties made this meeting possible, or at least far more likely.

"I've been exposed to great many philosophies, you see. Marka Ragnos, Reven, Traya, Bane, Dathomiri Witchcraft, And now Assimilus" She glanced up at him with a feint smile.

"I suppose it's just one of my passions? Learning all I can from every source available to me. And when I run out? I look for more. No one person nor philosophy is without fault, and so we should learn from as many as we can, and come to our own conclusions in time, develop a set of beliefs that we will pass down to the next generation of Sith, to present but one of many options, a small piece in the greater puzzle we must all piece together for ourselves"

"To evolve, so to speak"

"And it is from this ever evolving exposure that I know things are being kept from me" She sighed in resignation to her master's schemes. Kaila knew she had been a mere pawn long before meeting Assimilus. Her ascension changed nothing.

"For example, The nature of His relationship to Empress Talon. I recently returned from fighting in Echnos City, where I actually spoke to The Empress on a few occasions. I believe she had something to do with my promotion, actually"

There was an odd shift in her mood suddenly. Where Kaila had once seemed proud of her own ascension, a distant look overcame her golden stare, preoccupied with what few memories she had.

"I had assumed they would be rivals but... He commanded loyalty of his subjects to her with such enthusiasm, and approached her with such a gentleness that-"

"It disturbed me" She clutched the datapad close to her chest, as if bracing against something she did not speak of.

"It's unnatural for a man such as he to act so tenderly. And I hate that I may never know the truth of it..."


Darth Assimilus

 

[Darth Assimilus]

"I suppose you're right" She sighed

"It's entirely possible that my faith in their relationship is misplaced, that I have misunderstood what I have seen. And it is a damaging philosophy that I have been lectured on, certainly for one's individuality, yes"

"But we both assume much, don't we?"

Her tone was not accusatory, but rather reflective. Understanding even, Too understanding for a true Kainite in fact.

"I assumed that you were like him, albeit more subtle. You assume not only that my distrust stems from his philosophy, but that I share it"

The words rolled off her tongue slowly, deliberately as she alluded to the nature of her loyalties rather than stating them outright.

"I may be his apprentice, yes, in fact one of his most successful students as of recent events, but that does not mean my duties as a seeker limit my studies solely to the literature of Kainites"

"It would have been more difficult for us to speak otherwise" She would gesture around the temple as they continued to walk, knowing that her unique duties made this meeting possible, or at least far more likely.

"I've been exposed to great many philosophies, you see. Marka Ragnos, Reven, Traya, Bane, Dathomiri Witchcraft, And now Assimilus" She glanced up at him with a feint smile.

Darth Assimilus's vocabulator emitted a low hum, a sound resembling a chuckle. His response, though laden with sarcasm, had an air of amusement, the artificial modulation of his voice adding an ironic edge.

"Damning me with faint praise now, are you?" he quipped, his tone deliberately light. "To be mentioned alongside the likes of Ragnos, Revan, and Bane — what an honor, truly. And all this after assuming I might turn you into a technobeast when you weren't looking. Subtlety indeed."

His synthetic voice took on a more reflective tone, though still carrying a dry sarcasm. "But I'll accept the compliment, even if it's wrapped in suspicion. I find it... refreshing to be compared to those who shaped the Sith through their philosophies, even if it's mostly to highlight how I don't share their particular brand of control."

He glanced at her, studying her demeanor with a keen eye before continuing. "In truth, I don't assume you share your master's beliefs. I simply recognize the residue of exposure to such damaging ideas. Anyone immersed long enough in a philosophy like Carnifex's is bound to have some of its rot seep in. The question, as always, is whether you can see it for what it is and cast it aside."

There was a pause, but his tone lightened again. "That being said, your thirst for knowledge — I'll grant you that. It's a rare trait, and one that sets you apart from the typical acolyte obsessed with the power of a singular doctrine. You understand that the Sith are more than one path, more than one philosophy, and that is something I can respect."

He gestured with a slight sweep of his hand, his tone taking on an almost casual note. "And so, here we are — exchanging philosophies, instead of you worrying about being turned into some cybernetic monstrosity. It's quite the improvement, wouldn't you say?" He continued to stroll with her and and avoided further conversation about a subject he knew little of. Carnifex and his display of affection. Assimilus was not the one to take to about such thing nor was he one to care. He had given up what it meant to even be flesh or have humanity for his current form. The ways of belonging and such things were viewed to be nothing more than a burden to his own evolution.

Kaila Irons

 

[Kaila Irons]

"That being said, your thirst for knowledge — I'll grant you that. It's a rare trait, and one that sets you apart from the typical acolyte obsessed with the power of a singular doctrine. You understand that the Sith are more than one path, more than one philosophy, and that is something I can respect."

"Well, now whose praising who?" She hummed bemusedly, allowing herself a momentary distraction from her tensions with Carnifex.

"But I do find it strange that so few Sith are as studious as myself. We've so much history, but most only see the empire as it is now, not for what it has been, nor what it could be"

Perhaps she couldn't voice them just yet, but there were a great many changes she would make were it up to her. And a great many things the empire could be. Unfortunately, she did not have the kind of assets that Assimilus did, not yet at least, and so for people like herself, such opinions could be quite hazardous to one's health.

"Though this education is indeed the cause for my previous distrust of you, I'm sure you understand"

She made an effort to phrase this distrust in the past tense, as it should be. Kaila would hold on to some of her secrets of course, whether out of habit or merely a value of privacy, but he seemed like a trustworthy sort despite what others might assume based on appearances alone. In fact it led her to a question she'd asked herself countless times before:

What would it be like if Carnifex was not her master?

Most days the answer was simple; she'd have been more comfortable, but far less powerful. Had she bee trained with this philosophy in mind however, would that outcome have changed?

Even so, she noticed the cyborg's hesitancy to address her concerns with the affairs of her master. It wasn't necessarily that he was keeping things from her, and she assumed it had something to do with either a sharing too much information or that their philosophies diverged from this point forward. Passion, whether expressed through one's work, one's hatred and even passions towards another, was at the forefront of her beliefs even more so than anger, although it certainly had a high place in her views.

"As for my master's affairs," She began, choosing to voice the concern of her overstepping first.

"I hope I've not shared too much? I wished only to highlight why I believe the Kainate would not do battle with the Eternalist Church. Not while they remain loyal to The Empress, at least. Though perhaps I let certain... passions escape my control but briefly. I suppose I'm still learning to control these emotions. Most sith seem to let them run wild, but Carnifex believes that we must control them, or at least fear. I've been applying this lesson to other emotions with varying success"

"It's been... difficult" She admitted with a sigh


Darth Assimilus

 

[Darth Assimilus]

"As for my master's affairs," She began, choosing to voice the concern of her overstepping first.

"I hope I've not shared too much? I wished only to highlight why I believe the Kainate would not do battle with the Eternalist Church. Not while they remain loyal to The Empress, at least. Though perhaps I let certain... passions escape my control but briefly. I suppose I'm still learning to control these emotions. Most sith seem to let them run wild, but Carnifex believes that we must control them, or at least fear. I've been applying this lesson to other emotions with varying success"

"It's been... difficult" She admitted with a sigh

A deep mechanical whine sounded and reverberated from within the Sith Lords chest. It was the closest thing to signify emotions that he could simulate outwardly. The emotion in question being compassion. Assimilus understood and overstood many area's of study but, as most darkside dealings, it had a toll to pay for such knowledge and power. His was in the area of emotions.

" Lady Kaila, Your passion is warranted," he began, his tone flat but not unkind. "It is the nature of the Sith to be driven by and control such forces. But you struggle because you still live as a creature of the flesh, bound by its instincts, hormones and biology. Many struggle to master such a area."

He turned his gaze toward her, the cold mechanical quality of his voice making the moment feel clinical, as though he were diagnosing her rather than empathizing. "I do not struggle in the same way. I have given up the things of the flesh. I surrendered them in pursuit of something... more."

Assimilus's tone deepened, echoing with the reverberation of metal against metal, his words stripped of sentimentality. "As a cyborg, my emotions do not run amuck. I use technology to temper them, to regulate them for lesser or greater output when required. I no longer experience the chaos of passion that most Sith wrestle with. The Dark Side is a tool, no longer a force that controls me but one I wield deliberately. When I need rage, anger, hope, I summon them at will."

He continued with a inhuman delivery. "You say it has been difficult for you, but difficulty is the hallmark of organic life. You experience the highs and lows because you are bound to your biology. I have severed that tie and did so long ago."There was no gloating in his tone, merely fact. "Understand, This makes it... difficult for me to relay what you might call emotional intelligence. I understand emotions, their purposes, their power... but I no longer relate to them the same as you do. They are calculations for me now, variables in a larger equation. In theory, perhaps, In that way, I may have common ground with your master.

Assimilus paused, his glowing gaze locking onto hers. "So yes, your struggles make sense, but know that for those who live by the flesh, they will always remain struggles. I use technology to manage what remains of my emotions because it serves my goals. Especially in the areas of emotion that may hamper my growth. Such as fear... Of all emotions I have found fear to be the most irrational to content with and understand."

Kaila Irons

 

[Kaila Irons]

Kaila stopped as their gaze became locked, the full extent of his mechanical evolution- his assimilation- now evident. She was right, then? Their philosophies, while not necessarily opposed, most certainly diverged from this point forward. She was silent for a time, contemplating. There was a lot to consider, both wisdom and what she considered to be shortcomings to be avoided, things she would not be adding to her own philosophy anytime soon.

"Fear is... a difficult thing" She began after awhile, voice laced with the melancholy of lived experience. Not just a memory to be downloaded but a very real thing that could only be seen through her eyes, and through her thoughts.

Kaila was, for so very long, ruled by fear. Fear of failure, fear of losing the one being she cared for, and chief of all, fear of Carnifex. Perhaps she still feared him, despite her best efforts. She had also lived through the empress' Phobis attack on Echnos. Fear was no ally of hers, heretical as the thought may be, rather it was an old enemy she hoped to vanquish.

"It's certainly an emotion I could do without. But the others? I'm not sure I could ever let them go"

She could see now that, Though certainly she agreed with Assimilus' goal for the sith, to empower them all, to strengthen the empire, she could not walk his path. Not to it's end.

"The Dark Side is not a gift, it is a challenge. Struggle is the very essence of our order, for without struggle, how can we grow? Trauma especially, has created the most powerful legends the Sith have ever known. Emotions are what separate us from the Jedi, who whore themselves out to an omnipresence that dictates their very destiny. They distance themselves from passion, from love... from anger, from fear so completely,

They become husks...

...empty vessels only for a careless light"


She smiled then. But it was so wrong. Cruel almost, laced with her hatred of the old Jedi code, which reminded her too much of Carnifex's ideological writings if only that it too oppressed one's sense of individuality. People should not be expected to sacrifice themselves for a faction, they should not be made to give up all they have and all they are to the state.

They should not be made to sacrifice love and the passion therein.

"And it's only ever driven them to the dark side. Because no organic can go without these things" And that is why those words of cruel irony delighted her so, the closest Kaila could ever be the sadistic creature her master wanted. Because the Jedi were unnatural, And their order deserved to be cast down for all time, Along with their omnipresent Force, the origin of all things wrong with this galaxy. The Sith, for all their perversions of the force, all their attempts to wrestle control from it and all the destruction they wrought, were only Natural. And for this, The Sith were so darkly beautiful.

"Anyway," She cleared her throat, allowing the thought to pass her by so that she would not dwell on such things.

"For all the trouble they've caused me, I do not think yours is the path I will walk to overcoming them. Those I even wish to overcome. I'm sure this path has done wonders for you, and for that you have my congratulations. But the dark side rewards the individual, isn't that what you said? It stands to reason then that as an Individual, I- and any free thinking student- should pursue a path or doctrine only until it no longer serves this individual need. And as interesting as your ways seem, I believe limiting my emotional capacity to such a degree would leave me unable to fulfil my personal ambitions, my goals as an individual"

It was somewhat unfortunate. For a time, she thought perhaps Assimilus might prove her wrong, that he might show her a doctrine which she needn't criticize nor alter to suit her needs. It seemed that she was still too free spirited to limit herself to any one sect within the order, and that she would need to continually adapt her own school of thought by cannibalizing those which others had created.

It was difficult and complicated work. But then she supposed the results would be hollow otherwise.

Though perhaps she had learn well the lesson Assimilus had presented her.

This brought a faint smile to her face. Not cruel like before, but genuine. He still held her respect, despite their disagreements.

"I do appreciate many of your teachings, however. I'll certainly be adopting more technology for example, cybernetics included. And I thank you for humoring so many questions"

"Not everyone I've met has had the patience for it" She added with a shy chuckle.


Darth Assimilus

 

[Darth Assimilus]

"For all the trouble they've caused me, I do not think yours is the path I will walk to overcoming them. Those I even wish to overcome. I'm sure this path has done wonders for you, and for that you have my congratulations. But the dark side rewards the individual, isn't that what you said? It stands to reason then that as an Individual, I- and any free thinking student- should pursue a path or doctrine only until it no longer serves this individual need. And as interesting as your ways seem, I believe limiting my emotional capacity to such a degree would leave me unable to fulfil my personal ambitions, my goals as an individual"

Is she confusing lived experience with my own philosophy? Interesting. Elaboration may be required.

"MMMmmmmmmmmmHHHHhhhhmmmmMMmmmm......Indulge this line of thought. IF you can." In seconds Assimilus had what he wanted to say in its entirety. There was no time needed for thought only its execution for the subject at hand. "You speak of husks, of emptiness, as though the absence or control of emotion is synonymous with the concept of loss of self. Yet that is a faulty conclusion. If one's identity is so fragile that it crumbles without the constant tumult of passion, then perhaps the foundation was never truly strong to begin with."

His voice carried no malice, only the same detached logic that had become his signature. "You seem to believe that emotions—or more specifically, the ability to feel them—are the essence of what makes one an individual. Fascinating! But I would argue that the opposite can be true. Artificial Intelligence and droids for instance is often a matter of debate for such topics and yet, there are two side for that argument. Hmph. I am most curious Lady Kaila, where you would stand for that debate." He chuckled to himself lightly. "Overall emotions, left unchecked contain the potential to enslave the mind. They cloud judgment, distort reality, and bind you to reactions rather than actions. This can hardly be called true individuality. When one is driven solely by impulse, they are little more than a slave to their own biology. Often sentients care to make distinctions of this."

Assimilus paused and looked away. "And in my case, you could suggest that because I regulate my emotions through technology, I have become something akin to a husk—a vessel devoid of substance. Yet here I stand, individuality intact and able to perceive much more than I could before. I control my feelings, shaping them for when they are necessary. I do not see this as becoming less. I see it as becoming more. My upgrades have served me well as tools, allowing me to focus on my goals without the distractions that plague so many Sith and Jedi alike. This is not to say that I have relinquished all emotion from me."

He then let his unmodulated voice once again come out, addressing Kaila's perception of the Jedi. "As for the Jedi," his voice became almost analytical, "you quote them as empty vessels, devoid of passion, and you refer to their teachings with a disdain. But your perception of them is biased and incorrect in some ways. The Jedi Code, particularly 'There is no emotion, there is peace,' is not a mandate to destroy emotion, but rather a guideline to transcend it. In their philosophy, it is not the suppression of individuality but the transcendence of the chaos that uncontrolled emotions bring. They seek clarity of thought and purpose, not absence. In achieving this they are guided more effectively by the Force itself. That is their belief."

Assimilus's tone grew more pointed as he elaborated, "Take, for instance, the Jedi Lords of old—warrior-monks who held absolute authority over entire systems, acting as judge, jury, and executioner. These were not peacekeepers sitting idly in meditation like the Jedi Order of the Galactic Alliance today, but conquerors who wielded the Force to dominate and control in accordance with their interpretation of the Jedi Code. They were men and women of power and great authority, shaped by the battlefield, and yet, they still called themselves Jedi. How can this be?" The question, though rhetorical, hung in the air for a second...

"They did not abandon the code; rather, they twisted it to fit their needs while maintaining their supposed 'higher ideals.' It was their mastery of restraint—tempering emotion, not abandoning it—that allowed them to walk that line. To rule without becoming tyrants, though some did, and to maintain their Jedi identity while exercising the same control the Sith claim to seek."

He let the weight of this immense intellect pause for reflection briefly. He knew this would be alot for anyone to take in and yet he hoped the Kaila Irons was up for the challenge and that this could sate her appetite for knowledge. "The Jedi Lords are proof that emotions and power, even when fully expressed, do not necessarily lead to the downfall of an order. The difference between them and the Sith, however, is that they chose to moderate their passions, to utilize them in ways that aligned with their personalized sense of duty. That is where the Sith and the Jedi truly diverge and fall in line. We embrace and amplify what they seek to manage. And yet, both paths lead to a power, when executed properly. Much like the force. Its a paradox."

His gaze lingered on Kaila, unwavering. "Your distaste for the Jedi is understandable. They may distance themselves from passion, but that is their religion. Their way of suppressing emotion is not so different from the control you are still learning from your master and from yourself. What do you think of this?"

 

[Kaila Irons]

An oppressive silence filled the hall so utterly, that the only sound for quite some time was the subtle ✱click clack✱ of the apprentice's boots. Despite the practiced grace of her steps, and so many years of training to work in the shadows, the silence around them was so all encompassing that this single sound cut through it like a knife.

Unfortunately, Assimilus made a lot of sense to her. Just not in the ways he might have hoped. Not all of them, at least.

Kaila stared almost vacantly at nothing in particular, her visual senses unneeded, not when there was so much to consider. But for the first time in quite awhile, She had no more questions to ask. In fact she wondered if perhaps she'd asked too many, for they had all led to an answer that perhaps she had been ill prepared to receive.

What do you think of this?

The question repeated in her mind a few times while she formulated an answer.

Perhaps the "Correct" answer, the one Assimilus would have wanted to hear, would have been something calculated, a few words that were merely cogs in a much larger plan.

He would get no such answer.

"I'm... going to do something that... I don't do often,"

"I am going to be honest with you." Instead he would get Kaila as she truly was. Raw and unfiltered.

I...haved hated my master... With such a... Vitriol... I sometimes wonder just how much it lends to my power"

She took a deep breath, eyes still wandering somewhere ahead.

"And now I begin to wonder if it is not that I hate the Jedi themselves... but rather... That in their few similarities, I am reminded of Him."

Ironically, more Jedi had tried to help her than Sith, with rare exceptions. Exceptions she could not yet fully trust, for they were connected to Carnifex even still. But those whom she begrudgingly trusted had all been Jedi. Figures like Dreidi Xeraic , who tried to save Kaila from her master's clutches on Echnos. Or Spek Zhio , with whom she'd briefly shared her own philosophies too, although he was only a former Jedi, and they had not spoken in such detail as she and Assimilus had.

But both of these figures had at least two things in common.

They had merely tried to help her, and for their affiliations, former or otherwise, she had lashed out, sometimes against her better judgement.

Now she knew why.

Perhaps it had never been their fault to begin with.

And perhaps they were not so different after all, or at least, they wouldn't be if Kaila continued training in the techniques she was now. The Difference between her master and their order could thus be narrowed to a mere two points: Politics, and Morality. The ways in which they used the force were hardly different at all once broken down to their core properties, it was merely a matter of intent which separated them.

If this were the case, could either method truly be considered superior to the other?

My god, She thought. I'm starting to sound like a bloody gray.

"I think," She finally began with a sharp exhale "That you are right, in you're own way"

It was not an easy thing to say, akin to admitting that, for all her training, for all that she had accomplished since, that Assimilus was stronger than she was. It was a rare thing for her to admit aloud, even in times when she recognized that truth.

"I do wonder though," She allowed herself to ask but one last question. Less so of Assimlus, but rather questioning her own self.

"What it might mean for me to so utterly rely on technology to achieve this. Would I go too far? Would I not take pride in doing it myself, with my own will? Would... would the ones who love me still see me the same, were I to give into it's steel embrace so completely?"

She came to a stop some paces away from the cyberneticist wing, eyes wandering upward towards the sign above, unknowing how many times she might see it again. Would this be the last? would it be merely the first in a long line of transformations until she no longer recognized herself?

Was this not, in it's own way, the path every sith took? Transformation, until the old was dead and gone, born anew again and again.

So many ways to be Sith, but they all led here. Or was this the force again, an unseen hand nudging her along?

"You know, I realize now, that I never chose to become Sith" She hummed in thought.

"I'm not some fallen Jedi, I wasn't tempted by power, I didn't come seeking vengeance. I was just... chosen, for lack of a better word" Her gaze remained fixed on the sign.

Perhaps in a way it was fortunate that Assimilus seemed so detached. She didn't have to feel like she was speaking to a person, to someone who might judge her based on some doctrine or emotionally charged response.

"I was brought before him one day, told to pick up a lightsaber. Been one of his little projects ever since. Sometimes I asked myself if it was the will of the force that I suffered him for so long, given that so many sects believe it influences our fate. An incomprehensibly long shadow, influencing all it touches. I likened it to Him in that way, and He to it."

"Perhaps it's not that I truly want to control. Rather, that I've been trying to shirk His control for so many years"

"You must think me a fool" She allowed herself a shaky laugh, finally withdrawing her gaze from the sign above, down to the cold floor below.


Darth Assimilus

 

[Darth Assimilus]

Her hesitation, the uncertainty in her voice, indicated an internal conflict between her desire for independence and the lingering shadows of her past. Her questions about relying on technology revealed a fundamental anxiety about control and identity. To Assimilus, it was clear that Kaila feared losing herself, not merely to cybernetics but to the imprint of her former master—a figure who had dominated her for so long that she now struggled to separate her own will from his influence.

Her vitriolic hatred of her master was not, as she seemed to believe, merely a source of power. Rather, it signaled an unresolved dependence on him, even in his absence. In a way, her hatred was an extension of the control he had wielded over her. This emotional tether indicated a mind still partially enslaved, bound by the very thing she sought to escape.

Was she aware of this though? Most concerning...for her sake.

"Hmph, Foolish? No, I do not think you a fool, Lady Kaila. Far from it. To invite introspection is not foolish. To wrestle with the meaning behind your choices, to confront the idea that perhaps there was no choice at all, is the mark of someone seeking understanding. There are few that I meet in my temple that I would call a fool."

Assimilus paused, turning his gaze toward the cyberneticist wing that had drawn Kaila's attention. His tone remained even, thoughtful. "You wonder if reliance on technology would take you too far, if it would diminish you in the eyes of those who care for you. But consider this: transformation—whether through the Force, through the trials you have endured, or assisted through technology—is the essence of growth. Every being undergoes a form of transformation. We shed what we were, we evolve, and in doing so, we are reborn. The old is shed, but it is replaced by something greater, something stronger."

His photorecptors dimmed some and returned to her figure below. "You ask if those who love you would still see you the same. The question, Lady Kaila, is whether you will see yourself the same. If you fear losing something essential by embracing technology, then perhaps you have not yet fully defined what that 'essence' is. What is it that makes you you? Is it your hatred? Your will? Your defiance of control? Or is it something deeper, something you have yet to fully explore?"

In this, he saw both her potential and her flaw—a mind capable of great power, yet trapped in the shadows of external control and validation. She sought transformation but feared what it would mean, and this uncertainty was the very thing holding her back. I remember when I was just like her. So young and eager to prove myself to a master that did not deserve my service and loyalty.

" I appreciate your honesty, my lady. Allow me, if you will, to oblige a previous request of yours about my own history."

Kaila Irons

 

[Kaila Irons]

The old is shed, but it is replaced by something greater, something stronger."

For once, Kaila wondered if she truly desired to be stronger, or simply the freedom she associated with strength. Perhaps not if this was the cost. It wasn't that she saw Assimilus as any less of a person, even if at times it was hard to relate to him as such, but more so she simply did not wish to be him. Or anyone else, for that matter. She had spent so very long fighting to retain what little of herself remained despite her master's best efforts to transform her into a subservient little drone... Even she were her own drone, would this path to power not cost her just as dearly?

Then again, did she even know who she was anymore? How could I ever bloody know, without my memories?!

In some ways, those flawed human emotions and unpragmatic morals were all that remained of who she was before training. She was sharper now, cunning at times, cold even. But in those few moments when given agency, her passions and empathy shone brighter than even her fiery hatred of the great injustices inflicted upon her and all like her.

How much more could she dull these feelings until she was as apathetic and cruel as the man she hated? Apathy is death, and painfully slow.

Perhaps Assimilus was right, and that she needed to explore what it truly meant to be herself, even before exploring these advanced technologies further. She might speak to The Dollmaker about this, and give it time. Body modification was not a decision to be rushed, and her first implant was less so a true choice and more a decision between life and death.

It seemed however that in her sudden bout of introspective questioning, she had neglected to continue exploring the story of Assimilus and his temple. A story that it seemed she might learn more of.

" I appreciate your honesty, my lady. Allow me, if you will, to oblige a previous request of yours about my own history."

"If it's not troublesome to do so, Lord Assimilus" She nodded respectfully, gazing up at him with rekindled curiosity.

"History is my favorite moment in time"


Darth Assimilus