Private The Tipping Point

[Katherine Holt]

“Wh-What does that mean for me?”

“It means Padawan Holt, that unfortunately I have to recommend you to be removed from active duty and…”​

Whatever the Healer said after those words, Katherine hadn’t heard them. She could’ve heard a pin drop with how silent everything around her became. Lips moved, but the Padawan was deaf to it, just stared ahead blankly.

She had come to her scheduled examination, one of countless she had attended in recent memory. But this time the Healers had apparently discovered something that had gone over their heads until now. Or they had refrained from mentioning it until they couldn’t avoid the topic anymore.

Not like it matters now, does it?

Katherine had left the medbay, and if she wasn’t already in a hoverchair, she would’ve believed herself to be floating through the hallways. If anyone had tried to talk to her, to try and stop her, she didn’t care. She just pushed onwards, trying to find somewhere to go.

Unfortunately, she was currently on the Prosperity, one of the worst places for her to be right now. Everything felt small and suffocating to the redhead, she needed to just…escape. Which somehow ended up in the form of one of the training rooms. Katherine wasn’t quite sure why.

You know why. Because you know this is all going away. You’re torturing yourself.

The Padawan just settled in the middle of the hall, curled up into her hoverchair and cried. Katherine didn’t know how long she sat there, but at some point it all just…shifted. The sadness turned into anger. Into indignation. Into rage.

She lashed out with the Force, grabbing anything she could get ahold of. Training droids, equipment and so on, all of it was being tossed around in an emotion-fueled rage.

To anyone outside, they’d feel an almost literal maelstrom of negative emotions within the training room.

Zaiya Ceti​

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with: Katherine Holt

Zaiya had just finished her training session, her muscles aching and sweat glistening on her skin as she made her way down the corridor. Loose training pants swished softly with each step, her cropped top sticking uncomfortably to her back. She sighed, brushing a stray wisp of white blonde teal tipped bangs from her face, her bioluminescent markings shifting in a slow, lazy swirl of muted blues and teals -- a reflection of exhaustion but satisfaction in her progress.

Then, the commotion hit her senses like a shockwave.

Zaiya froze, her bioluminescence rippling in kaleidoscopic patterns of concern across her cheeks and arms. She turned toward the training room in question, where the surge of emotions emanated, like a storm battering her through the Force; Sadness. Anger. Indignation. Rage. It was suffocating, pressing against her chest, a torrent of feelings so raw and overwhelming that it made her skin pucker in goosebumps.

Carefully, Zaiya edged closer, her opal blue eyes widening as she peeked inside.

The sight made her heart clench. The room was a mess -- training droids shattered, equipment strewn haphazardly, items tossed against the ground. But it was the figure in the center that held her attention. A young woman, with vibrant red hair, curled up in a hoverchair, her shoulders trembling as sobs wracked her body. The energy radiating off her was volatile, shifting from despair to fury in an instant.

Zaiya tentatively placed a hand on the doorway, her patterns shifting rapidly with empathy and alarm in soft bronze, anxious yellow flecked slates, and hints of lighter dove greys uncertainty.

Oh no. Is she okay?

Clearly not, as the air itself seemed charged with raw energy, making Zaiya's heart race. The Padawan swallowed hard, glancing back down the hall. Should she call for a Knight? No... something told her that stepping away would make things worse. If she left, this young woman might spiral further. Zaiya knew what it felt like to lose control and be consumed in fear.

Drawing a deep breath, she stepped inside, keeping her movements slow and deliberate, but nervous none the less.

"Hey," she called out softly, her voice steady despite the swirl of emotions tugging at her through the Force.

Zaiya bit her lip, letting her own calm radiate through the Force as she took another step closer. Her skin shimmered faintly with soothing, warm colors -- gentle blues, citrines, and burnished bronzes, like the gentle warming rays of a rising sun.

"I don't know what happened," Zaiya continued, her voice low and soothing. "But whatever it is, you're not alone."

She reached out carefully, both with her hand and with the Force, sending a wave of calm and reassurance that she hoped Katherine Holt would be able to feel.

 

[Katherine Holt]

Katherine was numb to the outside world, incapable of hearing or noticing anything beyond the rage she had started. Internally however, the Padawan was caught in the snare that was her own mind. Snapshotting between a number of different states.

Flying. Swimming. Running.

In one moment she was caught within the eye of a storm, the unkempt mess that had been Katherine’s mind for the longest time. And with no wings to regain control, the redhead could do nothing but let herself be tossed around like a ragdoll.

In the next, she was running through a maze, the very one she had built to protect her mind from torture. But here she was, able to stand on her own two feet again, but was completely and utterly lost, trapped.

And then within a flash she was in the middle of an ocean. Legs numb beneath her, arms flailing above the surface as she tried to remain above the water. There was no land in sight, no safety, just an endless body of water; of doubts, fears and insecurities. All trying to drown her.

There was no response from Katherine, whether she heard Zaiya’s voice or not. It wasn’t until she reached out through the Force, that something seemed to finally happen. The wave of empathic energy settled over the Padawan like a warm cloak. Not to restrain, but to gently calm down. Katherine inhaled sharply, her eyes snapping back open to reality. It was only then she could feel a reassuring hand.

All the items that were flying around stopped on a dime, dropping to the floor a second later. Katherine let out a haggard breath.

“...”

Zaiya Ceti​

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with: Katherine Holt

Zaiya stood her ground, silently willing herself to stay calm. She told herself not to rush in, not to force anything. Katherine had to come to her own resolution, it wasn't something anyone could do for her.

Even as the training room whirled with chaos, equipment clattering and droids crashing around them, Zaiya did her best to remain steady, centering herself the way her Master, Iris Arani, had taught her that a healter should do. That a Jedi should be. Breath by breath, she waited. Slowly but surely, the storm began to ease. The flying objects clattered to a stop, and the oppressive weight of Katherine's emotions began to lift. There was still alot of emotion there, but for now it was a reprieve.

The sound of Katherine's ragged breathing filled the space, and Zaiya let out a quiet sigh of relief. The worst had passed, at least for now.

"That's good," Zaiya said softly, her voice as soothing as she could make it. "Just keep focusing on your breathing. In and out. One step at a time."

Her tone was steady, offering a sense of calm without pushing too hard. Zaiya knew from experience how fragile moments like these could be. People needed space to find their footing, but they also needed to know they weren't alone. She hoped her presence could be that anchor if Katherine chose to reach for it.

Zaiya had never really spoken to Katherine before, though she'd seen her around the temple. Even now, she could feel the weight of the young woman's emotions, heavy and raw, like a wound that hadn't fully healed. Zaiya's bioluminescence swirled with soft, encouraging hues, a mix of gentle golden flecks and steady blues, as she smiled.

"I'm Zaiya," she offered, her voice warm but unintrusive. "What's your name?"

It wasn't much, but it was a start. A hand held out, metaphorically and literally, for Katherine to take if she wanted.

 

[Katherine Holt]

Initially, Katherine looked everywhere other than towards Zaiya. Dull light blue eyes frantically flickering around at what she had just been throwing about. The storm of emotions started to abate; anger and rage simmering down beneath the surface. Only to give rise to waves of guilt and self-doubt. The former in particular gnawing away at her thoughts almost immediately.

While still seemingly unaware of another presence in the training room, she registered Zaiya’s instruction. The Padawan’s breathing became more even, her heart beating falling into a steady rhythm.

One step at a time.

Hearing those words, a sour expression flashed across Katherine’s face. Though it was only there for a brief moment. But it did seem to be one of the last pieces to finally snap her back to reality fully. That, and seeing a shift of colours in her peripheral vision.

Katherine turned to look at Zaiya, the area around her eyes reddened, tear streaks still visible down her cheeks. There was a look of recognition in the redhead’s gaze. She could count the number of Lovalla she knew of on one hand. And they were a particularly unique race in Katherine’s opinion.

They had shared a few classes here and there, but had never directly spoken until now.

One hell of a way to introduce yourself…

“K-Katherine,” she hoarsely replied.

Zaiya Ceti​

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with: Katherine Holt

Relief bloomed across Zaiya's face, a soft turquoise glow rippling over the mottled spots and stripes on her cheeks and forehead. Katherine had responded so that was a step in the right direction! It did wonders to help lift a weight off Zaiya's shoulders.

She let her smile widen, her pearly teeth shining as the corners of her eyes crinkled in genuine warmth.

"Pleasure to finally meet you, Katherine," she said softly, her tone calm and low, careful not to come off as too much or startle the young redhead. Her bioluminescent hues remained steady, a soothing pastel palette meant to project reassurance.

"I know we've been in some of the same training classes, but we haven't had a chance to introduce ourselves yet," Zaiya added, her smile softening into something a bit sheepish. Then, with a quiet laugh, she gestured to herself. "Although, let's be real, you've probably noticed me. Hard to miss the walking hologram board that I am."

She grinned, hoping the self deprecating humor might ease the tension hanging in the air. Zaiya wasn't trying to rush anything; she just wanted to coax a little more ease into Katherine's posture, maybe get her to relax. The rest could follow naturally.

 

[Katherine Holt]

Katherine knew staring was particularly rude in a lot of instances, but she couldn’t help but be fascinated by Zaiya. She had of course seen her fellow Padawan in class, catching sight of the shifting range of colours from afar. But this was the first time Katherine was seeing it up close.

Maybe she was seeing things, but the Padawan could’ve sworn the bioluminescent hues were moving, if ever slightly. As though waiting to change at a moment’s notice.

Zaiya’s laugh drew a small one out of Katherine. “I mean yeah, but it’s very unique and pretty, especially up close.” The Padawan’s inquisitive mind crept to the surface. “The colours, they are based on emotions right? I admit I don’t know a great deal about Lovalla, but I can’t imagine just having them on display like that.”

Katherine knew what Zaiya was doing, shifting the focus towards herself, adding in a dash of self deprecating humour.

It was appreciated.

Zaiya Ceti​

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with: Katherine Holt

Zaiya was glad that her joke seemed to provide something for the other young woman to discuss. The questions regarding her colorshifting were not new, and the Lovalla Padawan gave a small smile.

"Yeah, they tend to shift into a different color or hue based on my emotions. Depending on a species' color cones, they may see more or less shades or tints. My kind, Lovalla, communicates this way as well, so there are a lot more colors than what meets the eye. Then one adds all the color combinations and the bioluminescence... " Zaiya let her voice drag, giving a small amused sigh, "It can get confusing. My parents died when I was young, so a lot of it I am not sure of what it means, so even I have to try to decode it myself." she admitted.

"I'm trying to learn more about it, but it may take some time. " She added, as her attention drew to the mess left around them.

"Here, let me help clean up. Have you had anything to eat yet?"

 

[Katherine Holt]

The redhead listened with rapt attention, as Zaiya explained how her bioluminescence worked. It had never occurred to Katherine that the colours in display might differ depending on the species, but it made sense. Though it did stir up more questions in her mind.

Are there particular colours always associated with certain emotions? Does the shade intensify depending on how intense the emotion is?

But the ever curious Padawan pushed those questions aside when Zaiya mentioned her parents.

“I’m sorry to hear that, no one; especially a child, should have to experience that.”

Katherine’s experience with her own was...complicated. She hadn’t even thought about the possibility of them still being alive, somewhere out in the galaxy. But ultimately, they were pretty much dead to her anyway. The Padawan had fond memories of her early childhood, but that fateful day when the Sith Valkyries showed up.

Suffice to say, her parents’ actions that day soured those memories.

The mention of eating set a lightbulb off in Katherine’s head. “Oh! No I haven’t, I typically grab a bite after I finish a physical therapy and check up session. Which well…” Katherine’s voice trailed off as she looked around at the mess she had caused instead.

“...I really hope I didn’t damage too much.” She said, as the Padawan began to use the Force to start clearing things up.

Zaiya Ceti​

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with: Katherine Holt

Zaiya offered an understanding half smile in gratitude at what Katherine said regarding that no child should go through what the Lovalla did. She could say, 'It was okay,' but to a degree, it wasn't. She still missed her parents deeply, and while she couldn't understand the reasons why they had to pass during that Sith invasion, it did happen and, as a result, paved the way to where she was now.

Certainly, had Aris not introduced her to the Force and how that could potentially mimic the bonds of her kind, perhaps she wouldn't have been too invested in learning more about the Jedi Order had her parents still been alive.

"I don't think there is too much damage. If there is, we can see what we can do to fix it," Zaiya offered, her smile broadening in genuine assurance.

"I have a few tech skills that could come in handy with that," she explained, moving about to pick up the scattered items while Katherine also used the Force to assist.

"Do you have any preferences on what to eat or favorite foods?" Zaiya's countenance visibly brightened at the talk of food. She loved to talk about food and what people enjoyed eating. So much so that she had to remind herself to let Katherine relay what she liked before the Lovalla herself went on a babbling streak about what her own favorites were.

 

[Katherine Holt]

Fortunately Katherine’s emotional outburst hadn’t reached the ‘tearing shit up’ stage. While she had caused quite the mess, there hadn’t been any major damage. The Padawan primarily focused on moving the training droids she had made ragdolls out of. Outside of two or three of them having a misaligned limb, they were mostly undamaged.

Aside from some more dents and scratches to add to their existing collection.

“Hmm, it might be a good idea to split this into two piles. ‘Good to go’ and ‘needs a repair’, then we can work on putting them back in their correct places.”

Unfortunately, it seemed the smaller items got the worst of the damage. Particularly the training remotes Zaiya picked up. Bits of exterior; panels, bolts, screws, etcetera. Each one had at least something missing.

“Yeah, the tech skills might come in handy.” Katherine said, letting out a sheepish chuckle.

The food question had the Padawan pause what she was doing. She tried to think of what could possibly be her favourites or preferences, but Katherine was stumped. “I don’t think I have any favourites or preferences, other than I’ve yet to really eat anything that I have outright disliked.” Despite her words though, it barely took a minute more for an answer to strike. “Actually I lie, my favourite food is whenever I’ve been at the Noble’s for a meal.”

Katherine smiled brightly at the memory. “Also, if you haven’t been there already, make sure you ask Kahlil to bake something. You won’t regret it.”

Zaiya Ceti​

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with: Katherine Holt

Soon enough they had those two piles, although it seemed it was the smaller remotes that got the bulk of the damage. Zaiya ended up sitting down cross legged on the floor, grabbing a small tool kit from her satchel to try and see what she could fix.

At the mention that Katherine preferred anything she had at the Nobles, a jolt of curious citrine hues would ripple over the Lovalla's face, and she echoed, " Nobles? Like Aris and Vera Noble?'

It was only confirmed once Katherine mentioned Master Kahlil.

"Oh wow, so are you friends with Vera and Aris as well? " Zaiya asked excitedly, although she also paused to then go, "Oh wait, unless you are one of the Master Noble's padawans?" that could also be the case -- there seemed to be many that Zaiya wasn't aware of until the most random moments of revelations.

And wait, Master Kahlil bakes??!

 

[Katherine Holt]

The Padawan watched with some degree of fascination as Zaiya got to work fixing the remotes. Katherine wasn’t exactly knowledgeable about that kind of stuff. The extent of her interest had come from the constant tinkering she had done to her armour. Or well, her old armour that was now in the ‘custody’ of the Dark Empire, if it wasn’t already destroyed.

Katherine chuckled as she saw the citrine hues appear across Zaiya’s face. She went to answer, only to pause as the Lovalla continued, seemingly going down a train of thought.

“That’s correct, Master Kahlil is my teacher, was even the one that brought me into the Order to begin with.” She smiled brightly at that, the Nobles had been the greatest support during that time. A point where Katherine had been nothing more than a self-conscious and terrified mess.

“I’m friends with Aris and Vera, lived with the Nobles for a brief period of time too.”

And as if reading Zaiya’s mind, Katherine let out a small laugh. “Master Kahlil also cooks, but he definitely prides himself on his baking.”

Zaiya Ceti​

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with: Katherine Holt

It was so strange, yet cool to learn all of that from Katherine.

"Oh, then you should know Shan Pavond, right? He was Kahlil's Padawan too until he became Knighted, then he mentored me for a bit as my Master before he had to go to medical school," Zaiya asked, using her solid light bracelet to select a solid light servodriver to start working on fixing the small droid on her lap.

A slightly thoughtful muse came to the Lovalla padawan then, thinking aloud, "Wait, how many Padawans do Master Noble and the Grandmaster have now?"

It seemed she was surprised by who they were more often than naught.

 

[Katherine Holt]

“Yep! I joined when he was still a Padawan, trained alongside him for a good while until he got Knighted.” A wave of wistfulness settled over Katherine as she thought about Shan. She missed having that considerate green bean around, he had quickly become one of her closest friends.

It brought a smile to her face though, to hear he had mentored Zaiya for a time. “Yeah, that sounds like him alright. If he’s able to help someone, if only briefly, he’ll do it.”

Katherine occupied herself by focusing on one of the training droids, whose leg and arm were stuck in an awkward position. With one hand she levitated it to be level with her, while she used her other hand to physically shift the mechanical limb back into place.

The Padawan opened her lips to speak, to answer Zaiya’s question. But Katherine found herself at a loss for an accurate answer. “I…huh, I don’t think I know?” She stared off for several moments, deep in thought. “I know Master Valery has two or three, maybe? Master Kahlil has; other than me…maybe one more?”

She couldn’t think of a concrete answer. But if there was one thing Katherine knew, it was that the Nobles were kind souls. Always willing to lend a hand to someone in need, whether it be to directly guide them, or get them on the right path.

Zaiya Ceti​

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with: Katherine Holt

Zaiya watched Katherine as she worked on the droid, her patterns flickering with soft citrines and blues, a mix of curiosity and quiet warmth. Katherine's wistful smile as she spoke about Shan brought an answering one to Zaiya's face. The idea of her former mentor being called a 'considerate green bean' was almost too much; she stifled a laugh, her golden streaks briefly brightening.

"Yeah, that's Shan," Zaiya said, her voice soft with fondness. "Always stepping in, even if it's just for a moment to help anyone. I like that about him."

She tilted her head, her colors shifting faintly as she considered Katherine's musing about the Nobles. They were something alright. Always willing to lend a hand. Master Kahlil had helped Zaiya during the situation on Tython Station and she still appreciated it.

Her gaze lingered on Katherine's thoughtful expression, and Zaiya's patterns shifted toward a warm amber, her smile growing. "I've met a few of their Padawans so that's why I was wondering."

Zaiya's words hung for a moment before she added, with a playful flicker of bright teal, "But seriously, 'considerate green bean?' I'll never unsee that now."

 

[Katherine Holt]

Katherine let out a small laugh as Zaiya commented about her use of ‘green bean’. “What can I say? I’m awful when it comes to nicknames.” The Padawan shrugged, only to erupt into a fit of giggles as she recalled the memory. “It was during a joint-training session, my stubborn self was running into a brick wall Shan, being well…Shan, he tried to be all placating, calm and wise.”

She paused for several moments, failing to stop a snort-laugh from escaping.

“I’m just laying there on the floor, for like the sixth time in the past hour. And I say: ‘ugh, Shan could you stop being such a green bean?’ eye roll included.”

Katherine shook her head in amusement, thoughts turning wistful until she quickly pushed them away.

“How are the training drones? Nearly got ‘em all fixed up?”

Zaiya Ceti​

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with: Katherine Holt

Zaiya's smile softened, curving wider as a warm sense of nostalgia washed over her. That description fit Shan so perfectly that it almost made her chest ache with how much she missed him. He always had this way of being steady, helpful, and calm, no matter how chaotic things got. She could only hope he was enjoying medical school and having a good time in becoming a Doctor.

"That's so-o him," she agreed, her voice touched with fondness. The intricate mottled patterns on her skin glimmered with a soft bronze glow. But soon enough, the bronze hues shifted, lightening into a playful, shimmering blue as a grin tugged at her lips again.

"Hah, that's fair," she laughed, the talk of nicknames sparking another thought.

"So, what other nicknames do you have for people?" Zaiya's gaze flickered with mischief, a ripple of cyan hues dancing across her stripes. She had one for Aris Noble , though it was more for teasing than anything else. She called him His Highness, a little jab at his being technically a Prince, but she mostly kept it to herself, especially when others were around.

The droid at her feet whirred, drawing her attention down. Zaiya crouched slightly, holding up the now repaired unit for inspection, her grin beaming brighter than before.

"All good," she said proudly, giving the little droid a small pat. "See? Good as new."

 

[Katherine Holt]

The Padawan tapped her chin as she tried to think of whom else she had given nicknames. She had met quite a few people during her time as a Jedi, but not everyone had been given one.

It dawned on Katherine that it was primarily the Nobles who had one.

" Colette is Fisticuffs, pretty much because the first time I got to meet her was when we were trading fists.” Katherine let out a chuckle as she recalled the memory.

“Was during a general NJO excursion, part of which had Padawans sparring with one another. Master’s Kahlil and Valery decided to put us against one another, while secretly betting on which would win.” There was a smile on Katherine’s face as she shook her head slightly. “Colette and I decided to make it a draw instead.”

Katherine watched as Zaiya went about putting the final fixes to the drone she was working on. “The other one that comes to mind, is well…Chaos Gremlin for Vera Noble . Which I feel, if you get to know her long enough, it’s self-explanatory.”

The Padawan’s smile beamed just as much as the Lovalla’s as the little droid whirled back to life. Katherine did look a bit sheepish, given it had been in such a state because of her. “Sorry little fella, I didn’t mean to throw you around so harshly. I was dealing with some bad news…”

All of a sudden a deep growl/grumble bellowed out from Katherine’s abdomen. The redhead’s face turned about as red as her hair. “Aaaaand, I think that’s the signal for us to go get some food.”

Zaiya Ceti​

 

[Zaiya Ceti]

Outfit: x x x x x | Equipment: x x x x x x | Weapons: x x x
Interacting with: Katherine Holt

Zaiya laughed at hearing the other nicknames, although she wasn't surprised by Vera's Chaos gremlin one. The mention of Colette perked at Lovalla Padawan's interest. The teenager still hadn't realized that the Colette she had met was actually Aris's adoptive sister.

"Oh, so you've met Colette?" Zaiya asked, only to chuckle some more at Katherine's stomach giving a hungry rumble. Without pressing the matter on Aris's and Vera's adoptive sister, the Lovalla Padawan stood up and set the droid she'd fixed to the side.

"Okay, let's go eat. Since you said you have no preferences, we can always see what is nearby and check that out!" she recommended. If she recalled correctly, there was a noodle and soup shop nearby, along with the temple mess hall if they just wanted to eat inside the temple.