Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Faction There is nothing greater... [SJO + Jedi]

He took to kneeling within the semi-circle the other padawans had formed around their lecturer, torso supported less by the hands he kept at rest atop his thighs and more by his core.

Despite his reservations about emotion, he attempted to follow the Knight's words and take in the frame of mind from which those beliefs arose. He found it difficult. For the past two decades, he was taught to eschew emotion, to distance himself from all attachment and remain impartial, separated. The code itself taught as much, he believed, a dogma he'd adhered to as one of the few core tenants of his world view. Since his arrival on Peace, however, those tenants did not appear as steadfast as he once perceived them to be. So many new perspectives on matters he thought set in stone had unbalanced his credence to the point that he felt the need to seek out the truth.

When the Knight finished with his question, Bernard expected an order to their answers. An assumption that resulted from his upbringing on Arkania, where the Jedi had favoured rigid structures. The almost chaotic responses quickly caused his sense of discipline to falter, allowing unfamiliarity to settle and usher in a sense of discomfort. He had to remind himself he was no longer on Arkania to keep himself from being stunned to silence amongst these strangers.

"An apt comparison." he nodded towards the human. Jasper Candos Jasper Candos

"Death is perhaps the most extreme result." he began, a scientific dryness to his voice as he spoke. "A result of either frustration or fear. Two emotions that exponentially build if left unimpeded and lead to reduced effectiveness as a Jedi, depending in severity on the individual's disposition. Ultimately, invariably I would claim, such a progression of emotion leads to an explosive, self-destructive outburst resultant in a fall to" he glanced towards the mirialan ( Acaadi Acaadi ) while he spoke to give a brief nod, "the dark side, with little more than further pain, fear, and hatred sowed."

Caedyn Arenais Amani Serys Amani Serys Kyra Perl Kyra Perl Phalsi Drynchen Phalsi Drynchen Ura Iolar Ura Iolar
 
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Caedyn Arenais

Guest
C
Emotional Awareness
Kyra Perl Kyra Perl | Ura Iolar Ura Iolar | Acaadi Acaadi | Phalsi Drynchen Phalsi Drynchen | Jasper Candos Jasper Candos | Bernard Bernard | Amani Serys Amani Serys

B1ojkOj.png

Kyra's response had been simple and seemingly cut straight to the worst case scenario, though she wasn't wrong, death was certainly a possibility in the right circumstance. Acaadi soon followed by questioning the Dark Side's lure strengthening as one's self-restraint were to slip, Caedyn nodding to the pair in acknowledgement before turning to listen to Jasper and Bernard.

"All of your suggestions are correct, the possibilities are many" Caedyn answered, and continued to elaborate on the subject; "When we're out in the field on an assignment, our sense of reason and our ability to focus on the mission at hand is pivotal to our success and the well-being of others around us. The more we lose ourselves to unbridled passions, the more we risk making decisions based upon emotion rather than our logic and instincts guided by the Force" he looked about the group, gauging those whom had yet to speak up, taking a short pause to give them the opportunity. He would not wait long however before continuing on with the lesson, keeping the ball rolling in the desire to retain their attention on the subject.

"Emotion's aren't a bad thing, but the importance comes from our ability to maintain self discipline and to ensure we don't let them dictate our actions and behavior. Passion comes in many forms, for example being passionate about one's career as a Jedi Knight, as opposed to being furious with someone and lashing out at them. Our feelings can be blinding, but they can also inspire us to do great things. We must remain mindful of how much leverage we give our hearts, and how much sway it has on our actions both in and outside of the Temple walls" Caedyn smiled, unable to question within what the reactions would be of his students in that moment. Naturally some would question the prospect of one being passionate about following the Jedi Path, as that was indeed a double-edged sword when passion could turn to obsession, but this was all a part of his process in getting them to think for themselves and to question what was put in front of them. That's where their learning would excel most, as opposed to being fed rhetoric and accepting it blindly.​
 
Caedyn Arenais Amani Serys Amani Serys Kyra Perl Kyra Perl Ura Iolar Ura Iolar Acaadi Acaadi Jasper Candos Jasper Candos Bernard Bernard

Phalsi quietly pondered on everyone's input, listening to the teacher speak again before tilting her head a bit and speaking up. "To maintain ourselves with the force, we must allow ourselves to feel without succumbing to those feelings. Act with compassion and reason rather than blindly following what we believe is right or whatever emotion is aiming to guide us in that moment." She spoke rhetorically before continuing. "A jedi can claim to be working for good but still be swayed by their own passions to do good, into actions that go against what others may feel is proper. Part of being a jedi, or at least of being a responsible one, is to keep each other balanced as well when we see another falling?"
 
Caedyn Arenais | Acaadi Acaadi | Kyra Perl Kyra Perl | Ura Iolar Ura Iolar | Phalsi Drynchen Phalsi Drynchen | Jasper Candos Jasper Candos | Bernard Bernard

Amani fell oddly quiet on the topic. Usually she was one eager to participate in a class, but she felt an uncertainty about her knowledge here. She sat in silence, listening to the others all share their thoughts. Finally, she spoke up

"There is no emotion, there is peace." The very first line in the Jedi mantra. She paused a moment, "That's what it says in the old code, right?"

It seemed to Amani that some of the Jedi Order's teachings were a bit contradictory to one another, though her black and white views played a part in her lack of understanding.

"I guess what I'm asking is, how do we know when we're using it too much?"
 
When you kill someone, came the obvious answer.

But no, there had to be an in between. There had to be a moment between okay and 'too far'. Kyra never saw those moments. One moment she was here and present and good. And then she wasn't. Emotions often slammed into her like an ocean wave, hers or otherwise, and then all sense was lost.

She never thought much on it until recently.

She looked to Caedyn, desperate for an answer to a question she couldn't even form. Could he make it better? Her eyes watered in an unspoken plea, her subtle angst... spilling... into the force around her... for others to feel.

Yeah she needed to stop doing that to people.
 

Caedyn Arenais

Guest
C

Emotional Awareness
Kyra Perl Kyra Perl | Ura Iolar Ura Iolar | Acaadi Acaadi | Phalsi Drynchen Phalsi Drynchen | Jasper Candos Jasper Candos | Bernard Bernard | Amani Serys Amani Serys

B1ojkOj.png


"I guess what I'm asking is, how do we know when we're using it too much?".​

"The answer there lays within the subject of Self Discipline and is something that comes with experience" Caedyn answered; Amani Serys Amani Serys ' question was a good one, and something that came down to personal judgement and self awareness. "This is why Meditation and Self Reflection are important aspects of your Jedi training, discovering your limits and reflecting upon missions or training sessions to analyse your strengths and weaknesses, or what you need to improve on".

"An example of emotions affecting one's judgement in the field would be where you're forced into a position where you must choose between saving one life, or saving two others" Caedyn suggested, looking to give them some food for thought; "Imagine having to make that choice. Our logic would tell us that it would be better for us to save the pair, at the expense of the single life as opposed to losing two people for the sake of the one. There's an obvious advantage of the greater good being done here...-But what about the anxiety, the fear and the panic setting in. What if your emotions became too overwhelming and instead you risked losing all three?" the example was quickly thought up with no great deal of detail but the point was relevant to the discussion all the same. Not only was this an example of one's emotions becoming too much, but also as to why it was important to be self aware.

Caedyn's attention suddenly turned to that of Kyra Perl Kyra Perl however; the weight of her emotions being projected across the group. Caedyn frowned, feeling a sudden wealth of helplessness, though he knew it not to be his own, it felt all the same. Reaching out, not with his arm but with his mind, he drew in upon the Force and directed the tranquil presence down upon the students before him. All except Kyra herself.

"If I'm not mistaken, it appears we have an Empath among us" Caedyn spoke softly, though audible for the group to hear him clearly. "For an Empath, the ability to control one's emotions is all the more crucial not only for their own benefit but also the sake of those around them, as you can obviously tell. The best thing Kyra could do in this current position would be to meditate, and to find her center of calm...Focus inward and listen to the Force".
 
Acaadi wasn't keen on Kyra being used as a lesson for the class. His expression in her direction told as much.

"How...do you focus on meditation without it becoming unbearably dull?" Acaadi asked. He was becoming more capable of centering himself, but even now he struggled to spend a long period of time meditating.

"How do you find what to focus on?"
 
This... had become a kind of interesting topic to Ura. The Lervon honestly wasn’t sure how to answer the question about bottling up emotions. It wasn’t that she didn’t understand the question, it was that the idea, for the most part, was foreign to her. They was her species’ emotions were shown they couldn’t really be hidden, the Lervon tended to not even try. She new people did try to hold back their emotions, but.... Gah! It was hard to explain, and she didn’t want to be the one to get up in class and say she didn’t understand the question while also understanding it. She would still listen to everyone’s answers, trying to figure out how the others thought on this. It was the only thing she had to go on right now. What Caedyn said in response of all those questions made more sense though.

In short, don’t let your emotions cloud your judgement. Simple, but not always easy. It didn’t take long for something else to catch her attention though. Kyra. She could feel something going on with her, and apparently their teacher caught on too. He had put her a bit front and center, which made Ura’s crystal mass shift around. Yes, he had just made a point that had peaked her interest, but she couldn’t help but feel a little bad.... And oddly just as nervous as if she were called out in a class like that. She put a hand on Kyra’s shoulder, trying to stay calm so that maybe it’d help her some.

She then heard Acaadi’s question, and finally, after all this time, spoke up. “I know if I’m trying the meditate to settle down some, I’ll think of something that calms me down. Like... Yurb, or flying a fighter.”

Jasper Candos Jasper Candos Kyra Perl Kyra Perl Acaadi Acaadi Caedyn Arenais Amani Serys Amani Serys Phalsi Drynchen Phalsi Drynchen Bernard Bernard
 
Kyra flushed red, her expression contorting. He would feel her emotions turn in an instant-- from trepidatious and distressed to shamed and pained. It was the kind thing that always left her insides turning. And to have it done in front of an audience?

Even worse.

The others would be spared the revolting response she had to being called out. But he would feel the anger... the indignation... the mortification. None of it was tempered. She looked down, giving the ground a hard look as Ura tried to wordlessly sooth her.

If he wasn't a stranger, he would have been met with a challenging response-- a sharp word, a quip, maybe even retribution. And the others would titter, or laugh, or give her mutually mischievous looks. But today none of it happened. He was a stranger, and Kyra didn't have ill intent. She was just rash.

And insecure.

So she stared down at the ground, tears building, a fountain of sharp emotions bottled up.
 
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Caedyn Arenais

Guest
C
It was very interesting to read the Class' response to his using Kyra Perl by example, despite her being the perfect portrayel of how one's emotions could affect others without self restraint. While Ura Iolar spoke up on the subject of meditation, Caedyn could see that she were trying to sway the discussion as well as to contribute to the lesson at hand.

"As Ura has suggested, shifting one's thoughts to a place of peace and preference is a good starting point to remove yourself from a moment of passion or greater distress" Caedyn agreed, further elaborating; "Meditation has been practiced for a millennia, and not only by Jedi but Non-Force Users as well. Culture's of numerous variety have been known to meditate in order to embrace a deeper sense of self-identity or enlightenment for example, where as we are able to commune directly with the Force and often at a greater level than we might in a typically conscious state" he looked about the group, however kept an eye on Kyra too, both out of concern for her as much as for those around her.

"After some time having practiced and achieved a meditative state or trance, in where you distance yourself from the present environment and slip into what you might consider to be a dream-like state for some, you will learn to do this with greater ease and control" he explained; The effects and feelings of attaining a successful trance differed across the many, however all were able to benefit from the practice over time. "Perhaps you've heard of those who meditate during sparring sessions for example, falling back on their sensory ability guided by the Force and their instincts. Meditation is the gateway to all greater, more advanced abilities in the Force...-Yet this is also why we place so much importance on emotional awareness, as gaining strength or power in our practices also requires us to know when and how to best use it".
 
Caedyn Arenais | Acaadi Acaadi | Kyra Perl Kyra Perl | Ura Iolar Ura Iolar | Phalsi Drynchen Phalsi Drynchen | Jasper Candos Jasper Candos | Bernard Bernard

Amani listened intently to what Caedyn Arenais had to say, still unsure of her own thoughts on the matter. The discussion was bringing to light some faults of her own that she had blinded herself to. "I've tried meditation plenty of times, but I can't ever move past the basics. I thought I would have made more progress by now, but I still can't make anything special of it." The mirialan's thoughts were no so clear as she might imagine them to be, and her lack of consistent success made it harder each time.
Amani turned her attention towards Kyra Perl Kyra Perl , she might not be a true empath like her friend, but it was pretty obvious to Amani that her emotions were running high. She spoke softly, "Are you... okay, Kyra?" She didn't really expect to get through to her any better than the others, but it didn't feel right to not say something.
 
They were a tight group. Acaadi had not thought of it that way before, but it became suddenly apparent when they rallied Around Kyra.

At some cold and logical level he knew that she needed to hear these lessons. He knew that her lack of control was going to be dangerous. Sith would readily exploit her empathy to manipulate her.

Yet it hurt to see it drawn out so bluntly, even if it was coming from a place of kindness.

"Could you talk us through any exercises to find our emotional balance, to shut out any distractions?" Acaadi asked. Ura and Amani were talking to Kyra directly, so he tried to keep the teachers focus until Kyra could rally herself.
 
Caedyn Arenais Kyra Perl Kyra Perl Amani Serys Amani Serys Acaadi Acaadi

Ura looked over the scene. Her and Amani were both looking over Kyra right now. The Mirilian (I hope I got that right) was asking if their empathic friend was ok, and Ura, for her part was hit a bit as she realized Kyra was still upset. That she was holding something back.

The Lervon looked back at Kyra, closing her eyes and thinking to her friend. Kyra? We just want to help.
 
Phalsi remained quiet but there was a concerned look to the empath when she curled into herself so quickly. On the other hand, she did not know how much help her warm thoughts could help the other as she looked back to the teacher.
 

Caedyn Arenais

Guest
C
Emotional Awareness
Kyra Perl Kyra Perl | Ura Iolar Ura Iolar | Acaadi Acaadi | Phalsi Drynchen Phalsi Drynchen | Jasper Candos Jasper Candos | Bernard Bernard | Amani Serys Amani Serys

B1ojkOj.png


"Could you talk us through any exercises to find our emotional balance,
to shut out any distractions?"
.
"I could, but with so many of you focused on your classmate, I'm not certain how effective it would be" Caedyn answered, though his gaze was firmly upon Ura Iolar Ura Iolar , Amani Serys Amani Serys and Kyra Perl Kyra Perl . There in his voice was the unmistakable tone of disapproval and concern. "

"Self awareness is something that all of you need to practice, and place great importance in. Being a Jedi isn't just defined by the actions we commit in the Galaxy or the training and learning we take on, but our behavior and our intentions in every day life...-And this is a very minor example of how distracting our emotions can be, not just of ourselves but those around us".

Caedyn turned then to look to Acaadi Acaadi and offered him a nod of acknowledgement as the Knight sought to answer his question in earnest. "Arguably the simplest technique to practice is that of pacing your breathing. Taking a deep slow breath in through your nose, holding it for three seconds and releasing it slowly from your mouth. Rinse and repeat. Doing so will encourage your heart rate to slow, and so too your mind to ease" he offered a pensive smile and added further, "While I know it doesn't sound like much, this is a technique all Jedi have practiced and is especially useful for deepening one's trance during meditation".
 
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Almost counter-intuitively, the well-meaning attention only made it worse. For every face that looked her way, it was one more person seeing her cry. For every person that spoke up for her, it was another she knew heard her get called out. It quickly transcended from a small chastising to a whole scene.

At the instructor's final call out, the tears fell fast and true. They burned their way down her cheeks, her face a deep red as the girl became swallowed in a wave of pain.

It would startle the instructor, no doubt. It might even seem uncalled for. But for those that were close to the girl's heart, they would understand how such a sudden response could be pulled from a simple small call out. Life had just been so much lately. The war. The deaths. And she had been so eager to listen-- to try. It was a step forward for her.

She could feel his disapproval. It cut deep, leaving everything else to spill out into that wave of anguish that consumed her. Nothing was right. She didn't want to be here anymore. Kyra threw her friend's hands off her and stood, not allowing anyone a chance to stop her as she hit the path home running. She did not give space to be followed, the girl wanting to be completely alone to burn through...

This very hormone-fueled response to an overabundance of stress. Not that she saw it that way. She didn't really get what she was feeling at all.

~Fin For Me~
 
Acaadi glanced sideways at Ura Iolar Ura Iolar and Amani Serys Amani Serys . He had learned that chasing off after Kyra when she had been triggered was unlikely to help. They could go and find her after the lesson was over. Assuming that the teacher didn't first.

"I can slow my breathing and feel relaxed," Acaadi replied. "I suppose sometimes I just feel...I feel as if I am searching for some wisdom or something that isn't there."

The look that crossed his face this time was embarrassment. He was particularly sensitive about making a fool of himself in front of Amani at the moment.
 
Amani had half a mind to go after Kyra Perl Kyra Perl , but seeing the others seem to stay put, combined with the instructor’s reprimand, kept her in place. It felt wrong, but if they didn’t think they could help, then she figured she probably wouldn’t do any better.

Giving a resigned sigh, Amani tried to keep her focus on the lesson. Still, her thoughts wandered over the recent events. She knew she worried about others a bit too much, but it didn’t make her any less concerned. Call it a character flaw. Even without the added distraction, a meditation lesson was something she was already showing trouble connecting to.

Amani kept to herself, quietly glancing around at the other students before giving Acaadi Acaadi a weak smile, hearing him give voice to a problem similar to her own.
 
Kyra Perl Kyra Perl Amani Serys Amani Serys Acaadi Acaadi Phalsi Drynchen Phalsi Drynchen Caedyn Arenais

Ura watched, some shock actually showing through, as Kyra ran off. She was about to go after her until she picked up on something from Acaadi. She didn't mean to, but now she knew that running after Kyra just.... She wished she could help her friend. She focused back on Caedyn though, and soon found a slight issue in what he and Acaadi were talking about.

"Um.... Sir.... What about species that don't... breath?"
 

Caedyn Arenais

Guest
C

At Ura Iolar's response, Caedyn did his best not to grin in amusement. Slight oversight on his part, though he wasn't overly familiar with Ura Iolar Ura Iolar 's species and biology either, unfortunately. His attention however shifted as Acaadi Acaadi had first given his thoughts.

"Remembering that the point of meditation is to find our calm, we also have to do our part for this exercise to work" Caedyn replied gently, "This means not over analyzing ourselves or being hard on ourselves if we don't feel any different or if our minds start to wander during the exercise. If this happens, just acknowledge it, and gently repeat the breathing techniques".

It wasn't at all uncommon for students to struggle with meditation however, Caedyn himself was one of many who often found himself growing bored with the practice, and it took his Master's constant reminders and nagging to 'encourage' him to get there in the end.

"But yes, breathing techniques aren't the 'be all, end all' of Meditation. Thank you Ura" Caedyn smiled to Ura, dipping his head in acknowledgement. "Using our breathing is the standard go-to for beginners, however there are other methods you can use" the Jedi knight continued, "Some people find that reciting a cultural prayer or proveb can be more useful and for us, an easy example would be the five precepts of Jedi Code".

"Meditation is a process of mindfulness and self awareness, as much so as it is about peaceful transitioning. Therefore doing a quiet exercise such as repeating Kata's (Lightsaber strikes & Combos) can be optional for some. This is an advanced form of moving meditation. The process should be practices with slow movements, and each strike or step in the series, counted." it was not uncommon for Jedi to practice meditation during sparring once they had become proficient in moving meditation. "This practice can eventually help you to strengthen your precognitive senses".

"Another more peaceful example might be remaining seated and levitating small objects. Meditation doesn't mean you must keep your eyes closed, it simply helps to distance us from our surrounding environment".
 
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