Private Things Fall Apart

[Jacen Nimdok]

The stench was overwhelming. Nimdok sat on a rock as far away from the fire as possible, nursing his wounds. They were regenerating, slowly but surely; his body was reacquiring form and shape, cuts and bruises mending, though the burns inflicted during Shi’ido-specific torture would take more time to heal. He still couldn’t see. Perhaps that was a blessing in disguise. There was likely nothing worth seeing at the moment...

He heard a familiar voice calling to him and stiffened. She didn’t know. Tom Kovack… Ala thought he was dead, didn’t she? The amulet which had disguised his aura had been undone by the Calabrian. In that way, Tom was indeed dead. He decided he had better keep it that way.

“I was in the right place at the wrong time,” he replied. “They captured me, like the others. I’m afraid I can’t see you, miss… Have we met before?”

Ala Quin​

 

[Ala Quin]

His question caught Ala's mind drifting. Claine. Fenric. Davith. Tom. More names to add to the list of fallen Jedi comrades that she had known briefly in this point in history. An odd moment passed as the question dawned on Ala, she was obligated to respond.

"I...do not believe we have met before," she said in quiet response, before taking a seat on the ground near the professor, "I have read some of things you have written about what...the Jedi...have...done..."

Her voice trailed off as she looked around the devastation that she, a Jedi, had been a part of. Silence fell over her and she stared at her feet, over a blood splattered tunic. This. Was not her.

| Jacen Nimdok |​

 

[Jacen Nimdok]

He sensed her somber mood even before she spoke of his work on Jedi war crimes. No doubt things had not gone smoothly on this trip. Not that he had expected it to be smooth sailing. But she had been beaten down by much more than the trials Lao-mon had to offer.

“Individuals,” he said. “Not Jedi. Well, individuals who bear the title of Jedi, but they seem to be Jedi in name only.”

He raised a hand, fingers tenderly touching his wounded face before he spoke again.

“There have been precedents like this throughout history. I recently studied the Private Journals of Mace Windu, where he described his experiences on Haruun Kal during the Clone Wars. That was a planet already ravaged by war even before the Separatist and Republic forces got involved. Two groups on the planet, the Korunnai and the Balawai, lived in separate societies and had been fighting each other viciously for generations. Both sides slaughtered each other at every chance, even civilians, down to the last child. Windu had no choice but to cooperate with each of them in order to accomplish his mission, but he took every chance he could get to do the right thing, even if he angered the ones who were supposed to be his allies… even when his friends and loved ones became enemies because of it.”

He had launched into a history lecture without meaning to, but at least he had gotten his point across. Or so he hoped. “From his story, and many others, I have learned that being a Jedi means doing what’s right when everyone else does wrong, and weathering the very worst the galaxy has to offer. I wish that the parties responsible for such crimes had been dealt with better. That is why I wrote the article—because if I couldn’t have the power to exact justice, or convince our leaders to act justly, I wasn’t going to let it go unnoticed. I didn’t mean to cause more pain and suffering. I only wanted to tell the truth.”

Ala Quin​

 

[Ala Quin]

Sitting and listening, Ala appreciated the history. In an odd way it took her mind off the present and she could cat it far away to another time, even though those times were sullied with their own mud and muck.

She nodded in understanding, grateful to have someone as knowledgeable and wise on their journey, even if only for the tail end of it. She wondered how well they might have fared if he had been able to come with them through the whole endeavour.

"There are a lot of Jedi-in-name-only," she said, crashing back into reality, "and very few of them are dealing with issues the likes of which Master Windu faced. From what I have seen...it is ego...visions of grandeur...hubris...but also..."

She swallowed, knowing that she too was heading the way of many of the Jedi of the era.

"...I have never seen so much devastating chaos and bloodshed. And I come from a time when the New Republic was trying to ward of the last vestiges of Palpatine's shattered Empire. This sort of foe that we face today, has a way of changing the hearts of the good into something hard...hard enough to crack and destroy..."

| Jacen Nimdok |​

 

[Jacen Nimdok]

Nimdok nodded grimly. She was right. The problem with the Jedi of this era, of all eras, was the Jedi themselves. They were only human—only sentient, he should say—but they should have all been striving for something greater. For most, the heroic quest seemed to fall by the wayside in favor of being soldiers, warriors, enforcers, crusaders.

She was right, too, about the chaos and bloodshed. Though Nimdok didn’t focus on that so much as he did on her revealing that she was much older than she appeared. “The New Republic?” he echoed. “You—Ala, what have you seen in your lifetime? Did you know the heroes from that era? The Skywalker clan? Kyle Katarn? Ahsoka Tano? Tionne Solusar?”

That last one was a pretty obscure name, but he was terribly excited at the prospect of meeting someone who had witnessed history. So excited that he failed to notice he had used her name, even though she hadn’t introduced herself yet to Professor Nimdok.

Ala Quin​

 

[Ala Quin]

The moment of her name's use slipped by the Jedi, sure to be a moment of dawning curiousity later, but for the moment she was simply too bereft of will to care much. However, the professor had asked soem quesitons, and they seemed like as good a distraction as any, at least until the ship had been cleared for departure.

"I was born in the era of the New Republic...so did not meet anyone prior to its formation," she said brow furrowing in thought, "Skywalker is a name I heard a lot, but never met them...I believe the Enclave where I was trained had been started by a former student of his. But I did not know the founder either...the others you speak of I do not recognize, but I was not much of a recollection of...if they had followed Skywalker that would probably explain why. Solusar though? That is a name that was highly revered...our archives on Yavin 8 were largely thanks to her efforts."

Glancing over at their ship, she saw the refueling pod being brought up alongside. It seemed it would still be a while before she could leave.

| Jacen Nimdok |​

 

[Jacen Nimdok]

Nimdok listened with avid interest as she answered his questions. So, she had come after the great heroes, then. The period of history following the first few immediate decades of the New Republic was shrouded in mystery, many records having gone missing since then.

Before he could ask any more questions, a sentry standing watch at the edge of the camp gave a telepathic signal to the others. Someone was coming.

Everyone around them either found hiding places or lowered themselves to the ground. Nimdok was in the latter party, lying flat on his stomach. It looked as if everyone had suddenly fallen down dead, the victims of a Brotherhood hunting party. The background noise of the forest and wildlife rose to the forefront as all work and talk ceased. While the sentries continued to observe the newcomers, everyone remained quiet and still.

Enkidu suddenly raised his head, as though sensing something. Nimdok felt it too. A familiar presence, exceedingly familiar… but could it really be true? Or was it some sort of trick meant to lure them out into the open?

As the presence drew closer, Nimdok felt it touch his mind, sharing thoughts.

<Is it you, then, Ari? Have you come back?>

Despite the hisses of the people around him, begging him to stay down, Nimdok rose to his feet. “It’s all right,” he said. “It’s really him. It’s really Tammuz Hoole.”

His master, the leader of the resistance.

Ala Quin​

 

[Ala Quin]

Ala's hair stood up on the nape of her neck when everyone entered a height of alertness. It was more a feeling of sad resignation that the fight was about to recommense that saw her stand and bring out her saber hilt again. She felt a sudden resignation fall over her, as her hand failed to feel comfortable around the hilt of her blade. The weapon now carried the weight of all the lives it had taken, and as her thumb flicked over the button to ignite it she paused.

All about her, people were taking cover, but her mind numbed to the moment and her legs failed to engage in any effort to hide herself. Instead, she just stood, shoulders slumping and preparing for whatever this moment would bring. She knew that igniting the blade would take a feat of strength in order to override her repulsion, and it may be one step too far.

Broken. Again.

The next moment took place too quickly for Ala to process, but she caught a name, one that she was unfamiliar with.

"Tammuz...Hoole?" She muttered glancing about, was this some other person she was supposed to know from the past.

| Jacen Nimdok |​

 

[Jacen Nimdok]

As Tammuz Hoole and his forces entered the camp, others began to cautiously step out of cover. Relief gradually washed over the group, mixed with some degree of trepidation.

Enkidu was the first to voice their concerns. “Where have you been, Master Hoole? We searched for the refugees and the other resistance fighters, but all the reported sites had been abandoned. We were forced to attack this camp on our own...”

Tammuz strode forward. He was darkly colored to blend in with the jungle at night, but in the presence of allies his face brightened so that they could see him. He had the appearance of an old man with thin, aged skin and deep wrinkles like a gnarled tree.

“We relocated for the safety of the non-fighters. I sensed your distress, and came as soon as I could… but not fast enough. For that I am sorry.” Tammuz turned his gaze upon Nimdok, lingering over his maimed eyes.

<They have blinded you… a Calabrian?>

Nimdok answered with a wordless yes, knowing it would make Tammuz—himself a trained Calabrian—cringe.

<You bear their scars on your psyche. I almost didn’t recognize you.>

Turning his attention back to the others, Tammuz spoke out loud. “I admit the situation here is very dire. You have a ship, I suggest you all take the opportunity to leave. Staying will mean almost certain death or slavery under the yoke of the Brotherhood.”

“What about our families?” McGill argued. “Some of us came here to make sure they were all right. I’m not leaving without them.”

“If they are alive, they may not be among our numbers,” Tammuz replied. “Other hidden enclaves are scattered across the planet. The Brotherhood is destroying Lao-mon, bit by bit, piece by piece. Soon there will be nowhere left to hide.”

“Then why are you still fighting? Why not evacuate everyone?”

“That is what we are trying to do. But some of us feel compelled to stay and defend our home, even though we know it is already lost.” Tammuz bowed his head. “My men have the perimeter secured. Nothing will stop you from leaving. Nor can I prevent you from staying.”

“Tammuz,” Nimdok said, catching the elder Shi’ido’s attention before he could turn away. “Inanna sends her love.”

Tammuz’s expression contorted as if in pain, and again he began to turn his back on them.

“She’s no longer a Sith,” Nimdok persisted. Staggering forward blindly, he reached out as if to touch Tammuz’s shoulder. “She asked me to come here and see if you and the rest of her family were all right. Adrian Vandiir is dead. He can’t hurt anyone anymore.”

“So I heard,” Tammuz replied. “Did you really come all this way, get captured, tortured, and maimed just to tell me this?”

“I came here to see you.”

<I came here to finish my training.>

Tammuz was silent for a few moments. “Then I suppose you mean to stay.”

“Yes.”

“And there’s nothing I can do or say to stop you.”

“Nothing.”

“What about Miri?”

Nimdok felt a tightening in his chest, like a vice around his heart. “She’s staying with Inanna and her husband. They have children of their own. She’ll be fine with them for a little while.”

Tammuz showed no reaction to the news of his daughter’s marriage and children. “If you don’t get on that ship now, there’s no telling when you’ll next have a chance to leave,” he warned. “We don’t have many working vessels, and communications have been largely cut off.”

Wincing, Nimdok turned his sightless gaze on Ala. “You’re leaving with them—can you deliver a message?” If she agreed, he would sigh before saying, “Tell the Silver Jedi that Tom Kovack decided to stay on Lao-mon and finish up some business, but he'll need a ship eventually. And tell Inanna Yomin on Erakhis that Professor Nimdok is taking an extended vacation… and remind her to tell Miri that her daddy loves her.”

He’d made up his mind. He was staying, regardless of the dangers. This was something he had to do, no matter how much it cost him.

Ok I end thread? Ala Quin​

 

[Ala Quin]

Very much a bystander to proceedings, Ala settled a little when realizing she was not going to be called on to fight again. There should have been a wave of relief, but instead she was left with a hollow, quite contempt for who she had become.

Then she was addressed directly. A message? That was a small task surely.

"Without hesitation, I am more than happy to deliver your message. What would it's contents be?"

As the message was spoken outloud, Ala felt herself dumbstruck by the revelation that sat before her. Nimdok would not speak of Tom as living unless he was...alive. Nimdok and Tom Kovack...were the same person. Now the rush of relief hit her as she broke down into a gentle sob. Not everyone she had been entrusted with...had died.

The End

| Jacen Nimdok |​