Private Time for a break

[Valery Noble]

Outfit: Link

"We've been over this. There's not a single person in the Galaxy who can only work, study, or learn and never allow the mind and body a moment to rest," Valery said while she cleaned up her lips and fingers with the napkin. "If you were getting everything right already, then you wouldn't be at the Temple to learn anymore. Mistakes are part of it, even if you make a lot of them. I sure did when I started learning," Valery admitted without any shame or lingering embarrassment.

It wasn't easy to be a Jedi, and even small mistakes could have pretty severe consequences at times. That's why Jedi spent so much time learning and practicing.

To an extent, they never stopped.

"Right now, I'm sure it feels like you're drowning, but that's why I brought you here. Sometimes, it's good to take a step back and relax. You'll find a way through, and you'll pick up a lot more than you think."

Gatz Derrevar​

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons:
Tag: Valery Noble

"I feel like I'm failing you." Gatz admitted at last.

What good was a Jedi whose mind couldn't even retain the knowledge gleamed from a book? Gatz knew he couldn't get everything right, but he wasn't getting anything right. No amount of studying seemed to change anything either. His room was a scattered mess of books and datapads, and he was none the wiser for it. He felt stupid. Like a remedial Jedi. He'd come back, hoping things would be better this time around, but they weren't.

Well, he hadn't seen any Shadows murder children, so maybe things were slightly better.

"I don't know what to do. This mini vacation is really nice, and I really appreciate it. But come Monday, I'll be right back where I was: floundering, making no progress, with little in the way of help. If not for Cora and Master Serys-Organa... I'd have already left again. They're the only Jedi willing to invest time into helping me train and study."

Quitting now would mean failing the both of them, and wasting the time and effort they'd spent on him... and that was the only reason he was still around. Gatz had already given up on ever being a Jedi Knight. At this point, he was just riding things out, and hoping he landed somewhere on his feet. That, and taking advantage of the free room and board. Without the Order, he'd be starving again.

He didn't have bounty hunters on his tail anymore, but things weren't quite looking up at the moment. He was just treading water, except he wasn't doing it all that well.

"I'm confused, and frustrated." Gatz sagged back into his seat, "and I feel hopeless about my future in the Order."

 

[Valery Noble]

Outfit: Link

"It sounds like you've already given up," Valery said with a slight tilt of her head and a gentle frown. "But this all sounds like a very normal part of learning. There's not a student in the Galaxy who committed to something as extensive as becoming a Jedi without ever hitting a wall. There are plenty of people who can help, and they will." She sat back in her chair and let her eyes wander for a moment.

Even with the topic shift, she still felt relaxed being here, away from Coruscant.

"If you believe next week will be as difficult or impossible as the ones before, it will be. You need to try with a positive mindset, especially now that you've taken some rest. Clear your mind and try to chip away at your lessons one step at a time. Don't be overwhelmed by just how much there is to learn."

Gatz Derrevar​

 

[Gatz Derrevar]

Ship: The Red Night
Weapons:
Tag: Valery Noble

He was hitting a wall alright. But few were interested in helping him, and the two who actually gave him the time of day couldn't give him all the help he needed. He kept telling people that, but it's like they didn't listen. He was asking for help, but he wasn't getting any. Not in any sort of meaningful way. He'd get a question answered here, a quick explanation there, but what he needed was someone who could devote time to helping him catch up.

He didn't have that. Amani and Cora helped him as much as they could, and he appreciated all they'd done, but they couldn't reasonably give him the time he needed from them.

"There are plenty of people who can help, and they will."

"I'm asking for help!" Gatz pleaded, "please help me! I'm so behind in everything, and I don't know where to even start catching up!"

He felt tears prick at his eyes. But he refused to let them fall. Instead, he just wiped them away angrily. Then Gatz let his head fall into his hands. It felt hopeless. Studying seemed to give diminishing returns, and that was if he got a return at all. He blew out a shaky breath. Valery said not to get overwhelmed, but how could he not.

"Valery, I'm falling behind children." He sniffled, "I can't keep up with a curriculum that was meant for pre-teens. I need extra help, and I need extra attention. A few people are doing what they can, but there are more Padawans than Knights and Masters available for help, and no one can spare me the time I need."