Gwyneira had told Eliz a while back that she wanted to stop being selfish, that she wanted to be focused on someone aside herself: him. Yet, how could she properly attend to him when she felt so alone and forgotten by him? She felt so betrayed, cast into outer darkness with weeping and gnashing of teeth. But it was because of the fact that Eliz had been in need, and she had not been notified. She would have wanted nothing more than to protect him from the Sith who did this. Or at least be there while he adjusted to his arm. And he outright confirmed that he wanted her too! What karking invisible force had kept them apart?
She was unaware of Kranak stroking her hair at first. Shaking from the strain she was under, the stinging was not going away. Whatever had kept them apart, it was something Eliz and Kranak
knew about, and they did not trust her with it. Or, she was too much of an outsider to know. Outsider... How could Eliz treat her as an outsider, when he saw himself how the Arkanians treated her?
But that was the source of it, wasn't it? The anger. The source was her fears that this confirmed how she was still nothing, still worthless. Unworthy. How she was half breed growing up, lowly initiate in the Eternal Empire, and aruetii now. No matter where she went, nothing changed. And the fact that the person she thought loved her gave her this treatment. That was why she was so upset.
Yet, his angry words strangely turned her fears down - to an extent. At least, it was not some personal disdain that drove being cast out and forgotten that dreadful week. Eliz had wanted her, and now guilt over just how brutally she had berated him set in. The anger she knew was reactionary, tried to control but failed to, was finally giving way to the wounds underneath. Despite this, could Eliz not understand why she was so upset?
As Kranak stroked her hair, she slightly lifted her head and looked over to him. Her anger was shamefully subdued, leaving only confusion as to why a traitor was comforting her. How could someone hurt her and love her at the same time? Yet, her previous feelings of admiration and safety around Kranak returned. She needed his calm, steadfast nature. She needed his guidance. The girl turned and jumped, wrapping her arms around his neck. She bawled, her back heaving as she gasped for air between her cries for help.
"Does he have a clue how badly this hurt? He left me, like they all did! Regardless of the reasons, I was outcast! I needed him too and he ignored me, abandoned me! Just like my parents!"
As her heavy sobs resounded she cried out,
"But I'm just a selfish witch, aren't I! He said he needed me too! If I had been there, if I had been by his side! I would have wanted nothing more than that! He means everything to me and I should have been there! I should have! Why was I kept away from him! He needed me and I wasn't there! I couldn't even save him, and I should have! If I had just been there, he might be okay!"
Eliz Krayt
Kranak Vizsla