First Reply To Find Sight Beyond Sight

[Braze]

TAGS: Iris Arani

Braze's thoughts tangled and meandered as he reflected on the words and experiences of those past days. His conversation with Ko Vuto echoed in his mind, pulling him into a whirlpool of introspection about the choices he made and why he made them.

"Because…" he began, voice trailing off. His eyes, once vibrant, became distant as he looked up at the sky, losing himself in the vastness above. "I believe it's the right thing. At least, it feels like what I should do," he murmured, voice soft and conflicted.

A shadow passed over his features as the memory of his recent encounter with his mother resurfaced. The sting of her words, the doubts they seeded—everything played back in vivid clarity. He couldn't shake off the nagging feeling, the underlying dread that perhaps others saw in him what she claimed to see. Could they all be noticing the same flaws and simply keeping silent?

An unease settled deep within him. The whispers of self-doubt grew louder, threatening to drown out his sense of identity. He was trapped in a cycle of insecurities, fears, and anxieties, each thought feeding the next, creating a cacophony of desolation.

He drew a shaky breath, attempting to voice the questions that plagued his soul. "Is what I believe in... right? Is that… good enough? Am I…. Good enough? Am I... ever enough?" His voice wavered with vulnerability as he sought understanding.

 

[Iris Arani]

"Dunno."

Iris shrugged her shoulders, watching the boy for a quiet moment longer. This was starting to get much deeper than she expected it to be. Was that part of the reason Jasper had asked her to come here? So she could see that side of what it all meant?

"People aren't my.. Thing. I couldn't tell you one way or another on those feelings. Your Master, Jasper, he'd be the one to ask that. You should never hide your feelings from your master. They'll always help you."

Valery Noble had always been there for her, after all.

"You're full of turmoil. But that's what it means to grow. Don't be in too much of a rush. Right now, focus on yourself. Find yourself, and you'll be able to help others do the same."

Braze

 

[Braze]

TAGS: Iris Arani

Braze listened carefully to her words, letting out a soft sigh as he sat up and began to rub his eyes. "Right now, I want to continue what I've set out to do," he said quietly, pondering his thoughts.

The feeling of being a misplaced puzzle piece weighed on him. He couldn't shake the idea that maybe he wasn't meant to fit in anywhere. But he chose not to dwell on that uncertainty. For the time being, his focus was on the future, and that alone was enough to keep him moving forward.

He decidedly wanted to ask her some questions however they didn't pertain to anything they had been talking about thus far.

"Master? Are you... happy?"

 

[Iris Arani]

"Happy to me isn't the same to you. And again, you're focusing on someone else rather than yourself."

She raised her brush threateningly.

"Unless you have a reason that helps yourself?"

Braze

 

[Braze]

TAGS: Iris Arani

Braze looked at her thoughtfully, tilting his head slightly. "I want to understand you better. You can learn a lot about someone based on what brings them joy," he said softly. "I enjoy seeing other people happy." His answer was straightforward and sincere.

 

[Iris Arani]

"I literally just gave you a lecture on focusing on yourself and figuring yourself out, and you took that as wanting to understand me?"

She reached over, making good on her threat to dot his forehead with another spot of paint.

"This is your training, that I was called here to help with. Focus, Padawan."

Braze

 

[Braze]

TAGS: Iris Arani

​

Braze quirked an eyebrow, attempting to wipe away the fresh streak of green paint on his face. "What if that's just a part of who I am? What if I genuinely enjoy understanding others?" he asked, a touch of playful frustration in his voice. "Alright, keep your secrets then. I'll just have to let my imagination run wild."

Pausing for a moment, a mischievous grin formed on his lips. "You know, for instance, I could imagine that you were once an incredible circus performer. Yes, that's it! Acrobatics, tightrope walking, and you were the star of the show. But one day, you discovered you could use your agility and skill for something more—becoming an elite assassin Jedi."

Braze leaned back, clearly pleased with his fictional backstory for Iris. "You'd use your acrobatic prowess to navigate any obstacle and your Jedi skills to ensure justice. A dual lightsaber act was your finale, dazzling audiences and terrifying wrongdoers alike!"

He chuckled, his eyes twinkling with both humor and genuine curiosity. "So, how far off am I?"

 

[Iris Arani]

Iris raised a brow right up as she listened. Then sighed and looked back to her canvas.

"You're deflecting, rather than face yourself. It's scary, isn't it? Having to understand who you are and who you want to be." She set down the brush, looking towards him again. Giving a more sympathetic smile.

"Painting makes me happy. As do Padawans that take it seriously when I try to teach them something."

Braze

 

[Braze]

TAGS: Iris Arani

Braze paused, his eyes meeting Iris's as she spoke. For a moment, he looked like he was about to argue, but her words seemed to reach him. "Yeah, it is scary," he admitted softly, his usual brashness subdued. "Understanding yourself is like... trying to navigate a labyrinth with no map. And I'm a bit slow to figure out what direction to go in... I'm indecisive... I might know the answer but I'm afraid... okay?"

He then glanced at the painting and back to Iris, taking in her words about happiness and teaching. "I do take your teachings seriously—even if it doesn't seem like it." His tone carried a sincerity that hadn't been there before.

 

[Iris Arani]

"It's like a labyrinth, but you'll never find all the answers right when you finally solve it. Every twist and turn, dead end and loop, they'll give you insight. The only way you don't learn anything is by stubbornly ignoring it and refusing to move."

She understood. Better than most she understood. The world of colors gave her unnerving insight into the mind and feelings of others, but if she turned it towards herself, she saw nothing. She couldn't see her own aura, her own being. She had to learn how. Much like he did now.

"Oh, I know you do. I can see that much. But you need to stop talking to me, and start asking yourself the questions you're scared to answer. Look back to your canvas. Think about those questions, your answers, and paint."

Braze

 

[Braze]

TAGS: Iris Arani

Braze furrowed his brow for a moment, holding the black satin sash in his hands thoughtfully. With a quick movement, he then wrapped it around his eyes again, deftly tying a secure knot behind his head.

"As for painting, I'm still in the process of teaching myself," he said, stepping backward onto a slack rope strung a few inches off the ground. Remarkably, even without his sight, he seemed to navigate the rope with ease, bouncing lightly as if to emphasize his point. "I'm trying to figure out what my 'style' is."

His voice carried a playful undertone, as if the act of balancing on a slack rope blindfolded were just another everyday task for him.

"This seems to be an avenue that's holding my attention."

 

[Iris Arani]

"What did you do when she stole your crystal and bled it right in front of you?"

That was the other part of why Iris was here. She had the unnerving ability to speak about things people haven't told her. She waited for him to get up on the rope, specifically to try and catch him with the question just when he'd be trying to focus on something else.

If this was how he wanted to try and handle it, then Iris would still help. But likely not in the way he'd enjoy.

Braze

 

[Braze]

TAGS: Iris Arani

Just as Braze felt the slackline tense under his weight, his bare feet delicately maintaining balance, Iris' voice cut through the air with an unnervingly pointed question.

"What did you do when she stole your crystal and bled it right in front of you?"

The words sent a jolt through him, breaking his focus and concentration. Caught off guard, his feet wobbled, and for a moment, he teetered on the edge of falling. The slackline quivered under him like a living thing, and Braze clenched his hands, trying to regain his equilibrium.

His blindfolded eyes couldn't see Iris, but he could sense the intensity of her gaze, could feel the weight of her question hanging in the air. It wasn't just a query; it was a challenge. And he knew he would have to face it—just as he would have to regain his balance, on this rope and within himself.

The momentary loss of focus proved too much for the precarious balance he had achieved on the slackline. Braze felt his body sway dangerously to one side, and despite a desperate lunge to grab onto the rope, he lost his footing completely. As he tumbled downward, his hand snatched at the rope, missing it by mere inches.

However, in a twist of fate—or perhaps just a twist of the rope—his ankle snagged on the slackline as he fell. Braze found himself hanging upside down, his world flipped, quite literally. His blindfold slipped down to his nose, allowing him to see the world in its upside-down glory, though it didn't help his situation.

"That's not a fair question!" Braze piped up, his voice tinged with a mix of frustration and vulnerability. With one hand he clutched at his ankle, while the other reached upward—or downward, considering his inverted perspective—to untangle the knot of rope that had ensnared him.

The more he wiggled, the tighter the rope seemed to grip his ankle, leaving him to dangle like some misplaced ornament. As he bent and contorted, trying to right himself or at least alleviate the awkwardness of his position, it occurred to him that he was caught in more ways than one. And he knew he couldn't just dangle his way out of Iris's probing question, any more than he could untangle his foot.

 

[Iris Arani]

"It doesn't matter if it's fair. It'd be safer if you were painting, but it proves the point regardless."

She stood close by now, mostly because the reality that he could drop from above and possibly get her had her deciding it might be a good idea to at least be close enough to make sure he didn't hurt himself too much. Or at least that she was close enough to help catch him. Thankfully it seemed the rope would, though that could be a danger on it's own if it tightened too much.

Ah well, she'd take advantage of it.

"You want to learn how to see in case you loose your senses so you can protect people, but if a question is all it takes to uncenter you, can you truly expect to be useful if you're blinded?"

Braze

 

[Braze]

Iris Arani

Braze dangled upside-down for a moment, the weight of Iris's words settling over him. His arms crossed defensively over his chest, even as he hung precariously from the slackline. His face flushed a deep shade of red that contrasted starkly against his pale Echani skin, the blush extending all the way to the tips of his ears.

He felt like an exposed nerve, sensitive and vulnerable, not just physically as he hung from the slackline, but emotionally. His usually confident demeanor seemed shattered, if only for a moment. Vulnerability wasn't something he was accustomed to, and it showed.

"Alright, I suppose you have a point," he finally admitted, suspending himself in both his precarious physical position and his internal struggle. "I've been trying not to think too much about what happened with my crystal. I feel... lost. It's like I've been stripped of a part of myself that's been with me for so long. I didn't really know how to act, how to respond, or what to say when it happened. And I'm kind of upset about it now. It's confusing, and it's painful."

He took a deep breath, almost as if he was inhaling courage. "I've got regrets. Regrets about what I did and what I didn't do. But I don't regret making a new friend. Yet, even knowing that, I feel so vulnerable. As if the loss of that crystal magnified all of my insecurities and weaknesses."

Braze hesitated, gathering his words carefully. "Part of me wonders if I've been using it as a crutch. Now, it's like I can see all these parts of me that I don't like, that I didn't even know were there. And it's overwhelming. I mean, if you could pick up on that just by looking at me, what does that say about how ready I am to be a Jedi? We're taught not to have attachments, but that crystal was one of the few things that held sentimental value for me. I know it's against the teachings, but it still hurts to lose it. It makes me question who the real me is. Is the real me the person I was when I had that crystal, or is this vulnerable, hesitant person the real me?"

Braze hesitated, gathering his words carefully. "If a simple question can unsettle me this much, how can I expect to protect others if I'm blinded? If you hesitate you die. I'm hesitating... and I feel useless for it... everything is so uncertain. "

With another deep breath, as if preparing to dive into a deep pool, he continued, "So maybe it's time to... take the plunge."

With a flicker of movement, Braze used his hands to unhook his ankle from the rope. He plummeted toward the ground, turning his fall into a somewhat controlled landing with the grace of a cat — albeit a slightly clumsy one — and landed on his feet, albeit stumbling a bit.

"So here I am," Braze said, finally upright and untangled but still blindfolded. "Taking the plunge, laying bare all these faults and insecurities. What's the next lesson?"

His voice still held a tremor, but there was a new resolve there too. As if accepting his vulnerabilities was the first step in overcoming them. And despite his young age and inexperience, it was a step he was willing to take.

 

[Iris Arani]

Iris raised a hand once Braze stood before her.

"First, I'm not your Master, or that kind of doctor. Therapy, talking about what you've been through, how it makes you feel, it's important you talk to Jasper about that. I can see how you feel and I won't hesitate to call you out on it, but I'm not the person to sort them out with."

What she could help with, though. She looked to the rig he'd been climbing through, then over to the canvas behind her. "Center. You need to learn how to let go. I can't help you learn what your feelings mean, but I-" Iris blinked at that point, staring off at nothing. A smile eventually formed before she ended up laughing. Which would be alarming, given she rarely actually expressed emotion.

"Your Master's more clever than I thought." She motioned to a spot on the floor, where she'd take her own seat. Close her eyes. "It seems we'll both be learning something. Sit, close your eyes. We won't bother with the paint."

Braze

 

[Braze]

TAGS: Iris Arani

Braze's expression shifted from confusion and frustration to concern when Iris suddenly laughed. He couldn't help but tilt his head, puzzled by what she found so amusing at a time like this. Cautiously, he took off his blindfold and approached her, a budding curiosity emerging as he considered her words about Jasper.

"What's so funny to you?" He questioned, his tone tinged with a mix of curiosity and apprehension. Following her cue, he moved to the indicated spot on the floor and began to kneel, albeit with some reluctance. His actions were fettered with trepidation and concern for the unknown, but he positioned himself as she had requested.

 

[Iris Arani]

"Just how much your Master can surprise me."

That was all she was going to say about it as she closed her eyes.

"Now close your eyes and again focus on those waves of the Force you felt. Don't fight against them, don't try to swim. Just.. Float."

Braze

 

[Braze]

TAGS: Iris Arani

Braze's eyebrows lifted in mild surprise at her vague comment about his Master, but he decided not to press further, sensing this wasn't the time for it. Intrigued, and perhaps even a bit eager to understand what this mysterious lesson had in store, he complied with her instructions.

With a nod, he closed his eyes and took a deep, steadying breath. He had always been more inclined to action, to manipulation of the elements, but he understood the value in stillness, too.
"Alright, floating it is," he murmured, almost to himself.

He then tried to clear his mind, focusing on the sensation of the Force around him. In his mind's eye, he visualized the waves she had spoken of, each pulse resonating with a different emotion, a different intention. He let go of his instinctual desire to wrestle with these energies and instead, tried to let himself be carried by them.

 

[Iris Arani]

"There's so much going on in your life, constantly and repeatedly taking your focus. But you must learn how to act despite how you feel. That's what being a Jedi means. Whatever you're thinking about, whatever is stressing you right now, let it go. Trust in the Force. It will never abandon you."

At this point, Iris was more talking to herself than Braze. That's why she laughed. Jasper seemed to have more foresight than she'd given him credit for. This wasn't just to help Braze with his own struggles, but for her to remember these lessons herself.

"So breath, and know you're safe with the Force."

Braze