Tools for the Transition

[Ilias Nytrau]

As soon as the second mug was finished steeping, he was on his way back to the room that held [member="Avonus Nothrael"]. He had made sure to keep his own mug just as warm, so they could both enjoy their tea at the same time. With both hands occupied with mugs, he extended one finger to urge to door open enough to readmit himself.

"And here we are," said he, passing a mug off to the younger man with a measure of care, "take caution, it is hot."

Once he was in possession of only one mug again, he thought over the questions that had already been asked, and went to address the least pertinent one first, which pulled an amused look across his face.

"You will not sprout more extremities," he said evenly, looking over the edge of his mug after a tentative sip, "many of the changes that the Force can bring about in an individual are not visible to the average eye, or at all."

 

[Avonus Nothrael]

He took the mug gingerly and set it on one knee holding it “Well, thats good. I have enough trouble with the ones I have already, more would just be a pain.”

Now his only worry was a place to live and work, the idea of living off charity irked him. “What about work? I mean, as much as I appreciate getting trained, I’m not going to live off charity. I have to be doing more than being isolated and wearing robes, else I’ll go stir crazy.”
He wasn’t even sure Jedi drank which would mean little in the way of doing what he’d been doing for years.

 

[Ilias Nytrau]

"I do not doubt that there are plenty of establishments whether planetside, shipboard or otherwise that will require a man of your skills, Mister Nothrael," said he, cradling the mug between his two large, pale hands, "the proceeds from which you should be able to sustain yourself."

The ginger Jedi took a slow sniff at his tea, pausing in his words for a moment or two.

"As for where you would live, an apartment within the Laekian capital would make the most sense. I spend my time on-world with the minimal comforts of my cabin in the depths of the woods. Otherwise..." a small, fond smile touched his lips, "...should you be deemed ready, I may take you to the world that was and still is my home and introduce you to the temple in the mountains."

And that was all he said on the matter of housing, for now. He leveled a particularly serious look at the younger man, then.

"Of course, should you choose to accept my assistance in the control and growth of your Force-given skills - for I cannot force this upon you - then that training will be of the utmost importance. A caution on the matter of priority."

He took another tentative sip of tea.

[member="Avonus Nothrael"]

 

[Avonus Nothrael]

He settled back with a sigh “Consider me your guest till such time as you deem my...gifts under control. I have no desire to find myself in another situation like this and I have the distinct feeling you know exactly what I need to accomplish control. You found me, you’ll be the one to train me and that’ll mean living near at hand. Unless you have a better idea?”


Did he relish the idea of living with another man, no, but he didn’t see any other choice. It would give him plenty of time to observe the man as well, which could be very useful. He took a sip of his tea and looked down at the contents impressed, it was very good tea. “I’d really appreciate it if you’d call me Von or Avonus, it brings up memories I’d otherwise prefer to let lay dead.”


There was a bite to his tone, he wasn’t going to take no as an answer on this one thing. Compared to the man before him he wasn’t all that strong, but he could simply not acknowledge what he was addressed as till he was addressed as something he would. His dark eyes watched the man, he wouldn’t budge. He could understand formality, but ‘mister nothrael’ had been his father and it just brought back that old anger. It wasn’t a festering thing, but he took no pleasure from his family name. It wasn’t something that would control him, but he didn’t like to be reminded either.


[member="Ilias Nytrau"]

 

[Ilias Nytrau]

The mug lowered, one large, time-worn hands wrapped around it. Pale blues considered the edged tone that came to his ears, the hard look on the face of this young man. His mouth assumed a thin line; he thought the matter over, countless ages of students and reasonable compromises.

"I see the problem. Would Padawan Nothrael suffice, then?"

His words were accompanied by a glint in his eyes, the vaguest bemusement touching his lips. He sipped the tea again, watching for a reaction, preferably of a positive nature. This was a sort of barter, laying the foundation on which to build the relationship between master and student.

 

[Avonus Nothrael]

[SIZE=18.6666666666667px]He didn’t like [/SIZE][SIZE=18.6666666666667px]that[/SIZE][SIZE=18.6666666666667px] either, oddly enough he disliked that more than anything else. Maybe it was the fact he was feeling pretty crappy, but he had no desire to use his family name unless he absolutely had to. He had thought he’d gotten over some of these ill feelings, but he hadn’t had to use his last name in so long. Moreover, how could he explain when he himself didn’t really understand his reticence himself? “[/SIZE][SIZE=18.6666666666667px]I don’t really like that either…[/SIZE][SIZE=18.6666666666667px]” Of course there was only so far he’d be able to argue, especially with a person who could probably squish him with his mind like he was a bug. “[/SIZE][SIZE=18.6666666666667px]How about Padawan Avonus?[/SIZE][SIZE=18.6666666666667px]”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=18.6666666666667px]He had to keep from wincing, it still sounded so weird and formal. This stranger made him feel like some grumpy little kid, which was so strange, the redhead didn’t look much older than he was. He figured he was probably only a couple decades older than he was, but he gave off this weird ageless vibe. It was like he was in the presence of some old piece of history, this energy he gave off seemed to be timeless. He got the feeling something in him was trying to reach out, to absorb, to ‘taste’, sitting quietly as he was and with how ill he was, it was easier to feel what he was feeling. There weren’t any distractions. He didn’t know what to do about it, but he suspected this was what made him like the older man before him.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=18.6666666666667px][member="Ilias Nytrau"][/SIZE]

 

[Ilias Nytrau]

And that was that, for now. Getting to the bottom of why this young man had such an aversion to his surname was unimportant in the now, but coming to peace with it would have to occur at some as-yet undetermined future point. A short tip of his head was offered in momentary acceptance of the mode of address, as the healer sipped again at his tea.

"It will suffice," he then gestured to the hands of his newest padawan, "now drink your tea before it goes cold."

He was about to take another sip, but stopped with the mug just short of his mouth, watching Avonus for another moment over the edge of the vessel containing his tea.

"I would like to impart a thing or two to you before we land."

[member="Avonus Nothrael"]

 

[Avonus Nothrael]

[SIZE=18.6666666666667px]The dark haired man paused mid sip and looked over at him waiting. “[/SIZE][SIZE=18.6666666666667px]I don’t think there is anything else you could tell me that isn’t as freakish as what you’ve already said.[/SIZE][SIZE=18.6666666666667px]”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=18.6666666666667px]Despite his words, he braced himself, the man before him had many things he was probably keeping to himself and he couldn’t begin to fathom or anticipate what new shoe would drop. He was used to being on edge, Zeltros might have been relaxed, but it was about as dark and filthy underneath as anywhere else where vice was catered to. He’d made plenty of people angry simply by denying them when they reached the limit that he was always aware of danger. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=18.6666666666667px]Those instincts kicked in. He was weak and in unfamiliar territory, which made his survival instincts kick in. He doubted that he had anything to worry about, but he’d been suspicious from the start. He hadn’t been lulled into a false sense of security and the ominous words didn’t help.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=18.6666666666667px][member="Ilias Nytrau"][/SIZE]

 

[Ilias Nytrau]

He lowered the mug and set it aside, having felt [member="Avonus Nothrael"] tense up. The old healer thought this was a most curious reaction, for he had not said anything that should cause alarm, but the words his newest student had said indicated otherwise. Soon, his face erupted first into a grin, then a few moments of solid laughter. After the laughter calmed, one hand halfway splayed over his mouth, eyes twinkling with merriment, he spoke again.

"You are too uptight, too wary, my young apprentice," he said, hand falling away from his face, "I only wish to begin your training!"

Ilias retrieved his mug of tea, and held it between both of his hands.

"What did you think I was going to do?"

He was curious to know how the mind of this one worked.

 

[Avonus Nothrael]

[SIZE=18.6666666666667px]Dark eyes widened with surprise at this sudden change, his only response was an answering grin and a chuckle. He felt dumb, but he couldn’t help being wary and he wasn’t about to start smothering that instinct. “Call it an over active imagination I guess.[/SIZE][SIZE=18.6666666666667px]”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=18.6666666666667px]It wasn’t a lie, but he also didn’t quite answer the question. By now the tea was cool enough to drink down and he did so, wishing it was something stronger instead of just tea. Oh well, alcohol probably wouldn’t be a good idea anyways considering how crappy I feel. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=18.6666666666667px]A shape moved into his vision and he jerked with surprise suddenly feeling himself go icy cold with shock, his skin losing color. The older man could have easily been an older version of himself, except for their eyes. The man before him had eyes that were cold, colder than how he felt. These eyes always managed to stare dispassionately at everyone, eyes that said he’d be more than able to hunt down and kill his son.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=18.6666666666667px]Well, isn’t this cozy, getting in good with the Jedi now my boy? He snorted [/SIZE][SIZE=18.6666666666667px]Going from one extreme to another. You won’t even use our family name… You can’t run from it for long, how do you think they’ll react when they find out you killed your own father?[/SIZE]

[SIZE=18.6666666666667px]Sweat beaded on his forehead and his hands gripped the mug tight enough to make his knuckles pop. He knew[/SIZE][SIZE=18.6666666666667px] it was a hallucination, but it didn’t change the fact that it felt real enough. His heart hammered in his chest as every [/SIZE][SIZE=18.6666660308838px]fiber in his body told him to find a weapon and [/SIZE][SIZE=18.6666666666667px]fight[/SIZE][SIZE=18.6666666666667px] or surely he would die. He knew of at least a few things in the room he could use as a weapon, but none of them would have been effective against a figment of his mind.[/SIZE]



[SIZE=18.6666666666667px][member="Ilias Nytrau"][/SIZE]

 

[Ilias Nytrau]

The response was good, and promising. They drank their tea in silence for another few minutes, the elder man watching the younger, keeping his senses on watch. The Nothrael boy had been experiencing withdrawal and thus was not entirely well, so he monitored the newest of his padawans without thought, an act as kin to breathing in how natural it was for the healer. It was this way that he was notified of the change in the dark-haired student - with his eyes, he saw the boy jerk which made his brows shift upwards, but he did not move to act as there was the absence of other sub-reactions to state injury.

But he did set aside his own tea, the mug being empty at any rate, and lifted off of the wall he had been leaning against. He could feel the seeming drop in Avonus' body temperature, a flicker for a moment or two, and the way he went pale as if he had seen a ghost. Ilias settled back on one foot, perching a loose fist at his mouth and nose in observational thought. It was becoming apparent that what was occurring for the young man across from him was psychological, causing a significant rise in bodily tension and overall stress. With one slow step, then another, he approached the boy with caution.

"Pada--" and he stopped there. That was a very new title for his student, and one that would not yet have a deep enough association in the mind of [member="Avonus Nothrael"]. The best method was to use something to which the bartending padawan could be drawn to, and out of his reverie. It was a starting point at the very least. "Avonus?"

He edged closer, and placed a large, warm, gentle hand on Avonus' shoulder.

"Avonus?"

 

[Avonus Nothrael]

[SIZE=18.6666666666667px]He blinked looking up at the man, then gave him a humorless smile “[/SIZE][SIZE=18.6666666666667px]You know what they say, one’s mind is our worst enemy, guess mine wanted to make my current misery that much more interesting. Right now I see a dead man staring at me, I’m the one who killed him, he seems to think if you know I’m responsible that you’ll give up and cast me off.[/SIZE][SIZE=18.6666666666667px]”[/SIZE]

[SIZE=18.6666666666667px]He was leaving a particular detail out, but the way he figured it was that if he really wanted to know, he’d ask and then he’d drop that newest bit at his feet too. He had powers, even if they didn’t make much sense, he didn’t think the man was lying to him and frankly, if he was telling the truth, he couldn’t afford to lie. He wasn’t going to run from it, only thing he knew about this sort of thing was that you [/SIZE][SIZE=18.6666666666667px]had[/SIZE][SIZE=18.6666666666667px] to get in control of it. Strangeness like that either was mastered or became the master and he wanted to be the only one in control of his life, not some force of nature.[/SIZE]



[SIZE=18.6666666666667px][member="Ilias Nytrau"][/SIZE]

 

[Ilias Nytrau]

"Redemption, Padawan," he said quite plainly, giving the shoulder a soft squeeze and gentle shake, "and the past belongs in the past. Sins are intended to be forgiven, my young friend."

He removed his hand, keeping a watchful eye on his latest student. He considered the words he had been given to hear, and the words he would give to be heard, next.

"In the interests of honesty, I too have killed - it is not a decision a Jedi should make light of - so I will ask you this: why did you kill this man?"

This discussion was of import; any lessons could wait until after they had landed, surely.

[member="Avonus Nothrael"]

 

[Avonus Nothrael]

He studied the man carefully “I murdered my father because if I hadn’t, he would have killed me instead. I left at sixteen and he took that as a betrayal. I spent two years running and when I saw him, I took the shot and he died in a gutter shot in the back. Maybe I should have faced him, but there is no real way to honorably murder someone.”

He sighed running a hand over his face. “My father was the sort of dangerous that honestly, would have died like that had anyone else done it. Its easier to say what he wasn’t dealing in than what he was. I still don’t know why I was able to kill him, but I would do it again if my freedom was in danger.”

He wasn’t afraid of killing others, he’d killed his own father after all. However he didn’t believe it ought to be done willy nilly or for stupid reasons. “Killing someone is murder, there is no two ways about it. The reasons might be seen as justified, but the act is still ugly. If they are like my father, then I would have no qualms about it, but I would have to decide for myself and not just follow orders. I...would rather not take a life unless there is no other choice. I don’t believe I have a right to be judge, jury and executioner...”

It was weird, the specter was just gone, one moment there and the next...just a bad memory. Was it because of him? His telling the worst crime he had done and being told he could be forgiven? It was hard to know and he was just relieved that it was gone.


[member="Ilias Nytrau"]