Private Undercover Nannies

[Maeve Linahan]

Maeve walked along the cobbled path to the villa, surrounded by blooming orchards and wildflowers. She and Amani had taken a speeder out to the countryside, where Lady Helga's husband and her family resided in luxury, but upon their arrival at the foot of the hill, they'd had to disembark and travel on foot, the trail too narrow for them to pass.

To say it was a pain in the ass would be an understatement.

Dressed in her own nanny outfit, the skirt low to her ankles, Maeve itched at her collar and sighed. Already, she was regretting her choice in disguises. She'd done it in order to blend in with the staff at Helga's residence and appear harmless to outsiders, but by the Force, she found it as equally uncomfortable and impractical as a party dress.

Fortunately, the wine she'd drank dulled her irritation, keeping her eternal grimace from turning into an angry frown. Part of her wished desperately she was drunk, but with a Sith Lord to catch and children to deal with, which was even worse, Maeve needed to be on her best behavior. There could be no room for mistakes. Not especially with Amani pregnant with twins.

As she ascended the steps to the villa's front porch, Maeve smoothed out the wrinkles in her skirt and nodded at the double doors. "Ready, Amani?"

Amani Serys​

​

 

[Amani Serys]

The scenic countryside villa would have been easier to appreciate, if not for the surroundings circumstances. Amani silently thanked the Force that no one was around out here to seem them trek up to the entrance in these stuffy disguises, or she might have abandoned the mission out of embarassment. And unlike Maeve, she couldn't get buzzed to dull her lack of enjoyment.

They reached the top, and Amani tugged at the uncomfortable collar before knocking, "Just babysitting some kids, right? How bad can it be?" Famous last words, perhaps. She tugged the sleeves next, and blinked, "So what happens if-?" Too late. The door was opening. Amani plastered a fake smile across her face.

Maeve Linahan​

 

[Maeve Linahan]

As the door swung open, Lady Helga stood on the threshold, bright hair a wild mess and make-up stains on the hem of her skirt as she nursed a fussing newborn in one arm. The moment her eyes fell on them and noted their ridiculous outfits, she released a long breath. The relief that washed over her face could've put out a forest fire. For Maeve, it was startling.

"Oh, thank Palpatine's tits, you're here. Please, do come in." The woman stepped aside and let them enter, which Maeve did tentatively, not sure if she should turn around and start running back downhill just yet. As she did, a child ran through the foyer, screaming murder. Then, a little snot-nosed girl chased after him, waving what looked like a lit candelabra.

"These children are a complete nightmare," Lady Helga said. "The last nanny already quit, so if you can, your help would be sorely appreciated."

Maeve deadpanned. She was not about to let whatever this disaster was be dumped on them without warning, no less when the fate of Helga's husband hung in the balance. "Ma'am, you are aware that we are here mainly on Jedi business, are you not?"

Lady Helga waved a dismissive hand. "Oh, yes, yes. I know. But there is a far graver threat on my horizon than undercover Sith Lords, and it's dinner. Please, tell me, do either of you know how to cook?"

Amani Serys​

​

 

[Amani Serys]

Amani blinked. The introductions were already off to a peculiar start, and not a moment after stepping through the door were they greeted with the sight and sound of mischievous children. The mirialan winced slightly at the harsh screech. Lady Helga seemed far more eager to get their help taking care of the children— and apparently cooking dinner— than protecting her husband. Was the household really in such dire straits?

Force forbid the Organa kids wound up so out of control.

Still, a bit more passive about the whole endeavor, Amani tentatively raised a finger, "I uh, kinda…?" It wasn't until after having done so, that she regretted the ramifications of affirming such a question. She cringed internally.

Maeve Linahan​

 

[Maeve Linahan]

"You do? Oh, wonderful." With one arm still cradling the newborn, Lady Helga took Amani's wrist by her other hand and led her away from the foyer, into a large and ornate kitchen, complete with polished cupboards and marble countertops. Luxury at its finest. Except, of course, for the many used bowls, dishes and uncooked, half-finished meals scattered around the room. "Do you think you could help me, Master Jedi?"

Meanwhile, watching from outside the kitchen but still in the foyer, Maeve kept on her usual grimace, looking like she'd been freshly dug out of a grave. Already, she didn't like how this mission was faring. The Sith she was after could be on their way to the villa at that very moment. She nor Amani had time to deal with this much of a disaster.

Something tugged at her leg. Whirling around, one hand already on the hilt of her blade, Maeve searched for her assailant, but one look down, she found only a little girl with ruddy hair and wearing the worst make-up she'd ever seen in her life, eyeshadow smeared down her cheek and lipstick on her forehead.

The little girl gave her a toothy grin. "Are you my new mommy?"

Maeve deadpanned. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me."

Amani Serys​

​

 

[Amani Serys]

Silently regretting that she opened her mouth, Amani groaned under her breath as the Lady snatched her hand and led them away. It was hardly befitting of her station— In fact, as a Countess, Amani was pretty sure she was higher up in the noble echelon than Helga here, "I-I guess…" She rubbed her wrist and stared blankly at the ornate (if messy) kitchen. Her focus drifted back out into the foyer, where Maeve was already being accosted by a peculiar child. At that, the mirialan couldn't help but suppress a grin.

"Have you uh… considered just ordering something out, Lady Helga?" She asked, probably futilely, to get out of cooking a meal for an entire snobby noble family. "I do it all the time."

Maeve Linahan​

 

[Maeve Linahan]

"Ordering take-out?" Lady Helga repeated after Amani, a little bewildered. "No, we can't possibly. We've always had home-cooked meals." The woman put a finger to her chin, actually considering the alternative for a long moment. But just as hopes were raised, she sighed and shook her head. "Oh, I'm afraid we just couldn't. The villa is too remote from the town."

"We will just have cook ourselves! At least until I can hire a new chef." Lady Helga offered Amani a wide smile. "Come, yes? What dishes do you know how to make, Jedi?"

Meanwhile, in the foyer, Maeve struggled not to punt the little girl away from her leg. In the span of two seconds, she'd seemed to grow horribly attached to her, looking up at the Jedi Shadow with bright and wondrous eyes. "Do you have candy?" she asked and tugged on her skirt again. "I'm hungry."

Maeve grimaced. "No. I do not have candy."

The little girl frowned, eyes watering. "But… but… but…"

"Don't cry," she said, though it came out more like a demand than a plea. "I'm sure your real mother is cooking you something as we speak. Why don't we go and check?" Normally, this should've been the part Maeve offered her hand to guide the girl on, but instead she turned and marched on for the kitchen.

Unfortunately, much to her disappointment, the girl followed.

Amani Serys​

​

 

[Amani Serys]

Alas, Lady Helga wasn't convinced of a simple order-out. Amani sighed quietly to herself, "Uhhh, how about something simple like a… a salad?" She forced a grin. Assuming they had some vegetables around here, Amani could make a good dish. Her eyes darted over to the kid following Maeve. These ones didn't seem like the type who were eager to eat a salad.

"Unless your family would prefer something different…?" Amani cringed, once again leaving room to get herself exploited. "Mae, you like salads, right?" Her tone and gaze were pressing, begging her fellow Jedi to reinforce the idea.

Maeve Linahan​

 

[Maeve Linahan]

As Maeve entered the kitchen, she wasn't surprised to find it a complete mess. Lady Helga clearly was not much of a mother and had relied on the villa's staff in order to maintain order in her household, but with the threat of the Sith Lord on the horizon, she'd had to dismiss many for the day, and some even had resigned out of fear and exhaustion. Maeve didn't blame them.

Unfortunately, now it became her and Amani's problem.

Staring at the Jedi healer from across the kitchen island, Maeve had no idea what she had walked into, but went along with whatever idea Amani had concocted. "Uh, of course," she replied. "I love salads. They're healthy and… nutritious."

The little girl at her side gagged. "Boo! I don't want salad. I want candy!"

Irritation twitched the corner of Maeve's lip. She looked down at the child, her glare like a deep and terrifying chasm of black. "And I want some peace and quiet, but we can't always get what we want, can we?"

The girl stared at her in silence for a long moment, then burst into tears.

Amani Serys​

​

 

[Amani Serys]

Amani nodded vigorously while Maeve spoke, staring for a moment at the child as if such affirmations would sway her. Alas, the girl wouldn't budge on the subject. Worse yet, Maeve's snide comment caused her to full on start crying. Amani winced at the harsh pitch.

"Oh, dear," She muttered, before walking over and kneeling down, "Uh, heyyy, it's okay. Don't cry." Her voice was soft, and evidently Amani had some natural talent with kids. Though whether that applied to these little hellions remained to be seen, "Maybe, if you're good, you could… get some candy after dinner?" She sound unsure herself, but it was the best olive branch she could offer at the moment. "My name is… Olga." She still frowned saying it, "…What's your name?"

Maeve Linahan​

 

[Maeve Linahan]

If Maeve could frown any harder, her face might've cracked.

She did not understand children. She did not know how best to deal with them, or to answer their many ridiculous questions, or how to comfort them when they simply burst out crying. That required experience she was not at all trained for. Thankfully, Amani knew a thing or two.

The girl sniffled. "Olga?" she repeated, and made a tiny laugh as she wiped away her tears. "You have a funny name. My name is Isabella." She stared at the kneeling Jedi. "If I'm good, can I have chocolate? Chocolate is my favorite candy."

Maeve watched on in utter amazement as Amani calmed the girl down. It was like witnessing a miracle firsthand. Was is truly that easy?

"I… am going to get started on the salad," she said, and slowly made her way around the kitchen island. She pried open the polished fridge, glad for the crash of cold air, and started rifling through it for greens and romaine. It didn't take her very long to find what they needed, and easily enough, she planted the ingredients onto the counter.

Now all she had to do was figure out how to make a damn salad.

Amani Serys​

​

 

[Amani Serys]

"You have a funny name."

Amani swallowed her pride, even if part of her wanted to point out that her mother's name was Helga. "Nice to meet you, Isabella. Sure, we can find some chocolate. If you're good," She reaffirmed with a point, but also an easy smile. All things considered that exchange went better than she expected. "We're going to get started on dinner. Where is your sibling?" Amani asked, standing up, "Er… how many siblings do you have?"

Maeve was already getting things set out, but seemed to malfunction past the point of setup. Amani soon slid up next to her, and sighed, "Don't suppose you found our secret Sith in the fridge?" She tossed the vegetables into a bowl and began mixing them.

Maeve Linahan​

 

[Maeve Linahan]

"Oh!" the girl exclaimed. "I have, um…" She looked down and slowly counted eight of her fingers. She smiled raised both hands out to Amani. "Four!" She nodded earnestly. "Sabine, Jacqueline and Baptiste! Oh, and uh, August. But I don't like August. He's mean."

The girl stood on the tips of her toes and, one hand cupped around her mouth, she whispered, "I think he's adopted. Mama won't admit it, but he's too ugly to be my brother."

As the little one wiped the last of her tears away, cheered up thanks to Amani's handiwork, Maeve continued to stare blankly at the sea of ingredients, not sure where to start. She was grateful when Amani slid up by her side and took over, once again proving herself a far better mother and housewife than the Shadow could ever be.

Maeve shook her head. "Unfortunately, no sign of the Sith yet. I can only pray he shows up before dinner, so we can be rid of him and leave before you start serving these little monsters salad." She could already picture their reactions. No child realistically enjoyed greens or vegetables. It was unimaginable.

As if on cue, there came another scream. In moments, a boy ran into the kitchen, chased by the same snot-nosed girl she'd seen sprinting after him when they arrived. Jacqueline, probably. She still wielded a lit candelabra like a weapon, danger in her eyes.

The boy cried, "Mama! Jacqueline's trying to kill me again!"

Amani Serys​

​

 

[Amani Serys]

Four siblings? Five kids?

Amani tried to hide her sudden concern, "Oh. Well…" She had no real response to any of that, "Good to know?" No wonder Lady Helga was desperate for help. And no wonder the last nanny quit. Taking care of this many obnoxious children must have been a nightmare. She tried to drown out the thought of managing them all by distracting herself with dinner.

"You got a better idea?" She asked, chopping a tomato in half with a little too much violence behind the swing. They'd only just gotten started, but even Amani was feeling her nerves fray already.

Only further worsened by the sudden arrival of two more kids; The two from before, one still chasing the other with a lit candelabra, "Oh my gosh," Amani huffed, reached to snatch the candelabra, "We do not chase people with lit fires. That is dangerous."

Maeve Linahan​

 

[Maeve Linahan]

"Of course not." Maeve diced through a cucumber, perhaps the one thing she was good at when it came to making a salad. "I'm as terrible a cook as I am a baby-sitter. I am simply not made to be a housewife."

Maeve whirled as two children ran into the kitchen. She very nearly hurled the knife she held at one of them, and if not for Amani stepping in, perhaps she might've.

"Oh, come on!" The girl, Jacqueline, pouted once Amani snatched the candelabra. "I know fire safety very well, and we were just having some harmless fun! I wasn't actually going to kill him."

The boy, Baptiste, stuck out his tongue. "Liar!"

"Am not!" said Jacqueline, her face scrunching up into a ball. She turned to Amani and tried reaching for the lit candelabra again. "If I blow out the flames, can I have it back? I promise I won't bludgeon him to death!"

Maeve was awfully good at reading liars, and if she had to say something, she didn't quite believe the girl was telling the truth. Of course, she was not about to get involved. This was a problem for Amani to deal with. Maeve was just the cucumber-carrot cutter, that was all.

Amani Serys​

​

 

[Amani Serys]

"Knowing how to cook is a good survival skill too, y'know," Amani tapped her forehead, only to be interrupted by the noisy kids. She saw the harsh glint in Maeve's eye, and reacted quickly before anyone could kill each other.

Snatching away the fire, Amani snuffed it out and moved it fully out of the girl's reach, "Candelabras are not toys. Don't you guys have some stuffed animals you can play with or something?" She squinted at the girl; Jacqueline seemed well-spoken for her age, but no less a nuisance than the rest, "Why were you even chasing him with this?"

She turned to Baptiste to get both sides of the story, "Why was she chasing you with this?"

Maeve Linahan​

 

[Maeve Linahan]

"Stuffed animals are for children," Jacqueline said, as if she wasn't one herself. Between them all, she must've been the oldest. Thirteen, perhaps. "And besides, he won't learn if I chase him off with a teddy bear! He snuck into my room and tried playing with my POP! figurine collection."

Baptiste pouted. "My toys are boring to play with."

"Well, you need to mind your business, or—uh, I'll punch you!"

Maeve cocked an eyebrow as she listened to the conversation unfold. She saw quite a lot of herself in Jacqueline. How Amani intended to deal with her and Baptiste's little dispute, though, was completely up to her. The Jedi Shadow would continue remaining where she was—in the shadows.

Baptiste lunged away from his older sister and clung to Amani's skirt. "If you punch me, I'll throw Mr. Snuggles into the fireplace when you're not looking!"

Jacqueline gasped. "Not Mr. Snuggles!" she cried, nearly charging for the boy. It seemed yet another fight was on their hands.

Amani Serys​

​

 

[Amani Serys]

Amani raised an eyebrow at Jacqueline, who was definitely still child despite her protestations, "Why can't you share your collection?" She asked curiously, rather than judgingly. Though the threat towards her brother was met more sternly, "We don't punch people for that."

And yet despite her prior claims, the girl reacted rather harshly to the idea of a 'Mr. Snuggles' being immolated. She lunched at her brother once more, and Amani reached out, pushing them apart, "Knock, it, off!" She grunted, "This is how little kids act. I thought you said you weren't a little kid?"

An annoyed sigh escaped her lips, "How's dinner coming along?" She asked impatiently.

Maeve Linahan​

 

[Maeve Linahan]

Before either child could begin smacking each other in the face, they were stopped shortly by Amani, whose sharp words and piercing gaze forced them to heel. At least for the time being, it worked.

Jacqueline paused and frowned. "N-no! I'm not a little kid." She pointed an accusing finger at Baptiste. "But he is! He threatened me, so I have a right to threaten him with my fist."

Sound thinking, Maeve thought, but it was not her place to decide. She was too busy trying to figure out what to do with all these sliced vegetables and mixed greens. Perhaps she was overthinking it. A salad was some romaine and other random nonsense tossed together into a bowl. Right?

"Uh," she told Amani, sweeping all the ingredients she'd diced into the large glass bowl of lettuce left on the counter. "Just about finished!"

Meanwhile, as Baptiste continued to use Amani as a human shield, Jacqueline crossed her arms over her chest. "It's not fair. I shouldn't have to share my collection with him. Last time I let him play alone with my Valery Noble POP! figurine, he broke her head off! She was limited edition! I had to save up my week's allowance to buy another one!"

Amani Serys​

​

 

[Amani Serys]

Amani gave the salad a side eye, but had little time to think about it. She returned her focus to the kids, and crouched down between them. Her stern expression softened as Jacqueline spoke, and she waited a moment before replying, "Did Baptiste apologize for breaking the toy?" She looked back at him now, for confirmation.

"Do you think you could have offered her a toy of your own to play with? Or used your own allowance to pay for her new one?" The healer remained nonjudgemental, but tried to coax them towards a more sensible approach in conflict. Was Lady Helga involving herself with these kids at all? It's a miracle these children hadn't killed each other already.

Maeve Linahan​