Private Unstoppable

[Briana Sal-Soren]

Wearing: XoXo
Equipment: Lightsaber
Location: Jedi Temple, Coruscant
Tag: Valery Noble

Her breathing was heavy and focused, each mighty intake and exhale a testament to her determination as she pushed herself beyond her limits. It all felt so disjointed now, going through each practiced sweeping motion with her lightsaber, motions that once flowed from her like she was performing an effortless ballet.

Now, it felt like a slog, as if she were attempting to swim through thick mud.

Every now and then a loud ZAP would echo through the dojo, followed by a wince, and Briana sucking in a sharp breath between her teeth as the low-powered bolts from one of the training droids collided with her arm for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. Before her encounter with the Mandalorian, she would have dispatched multiple droids with ease, but now... Briana grit her teeth and tried to shake away the thought. Just because she was without the Force, that didn't mean she could start falling apart. She had responsibilities to pick back up, a war on the horizon, people who depended on her.

It was bad enough that training Lily had fallen by the wayside while she struggled to regain her strength, and though it'd been unanticipated, when Lossa Aureus stepped up to take the young woman out on an excursion, Briana was grateful for the intervention, allowing her to fully focus on her own recovery.

With her waist-length hair tied securely away from her face and a sensory-deprivation helmet obscuring her stern expression, she fixed her position and attempted a second round of trying to navigate the world around her without relying on external senses. It was an exercise in feeling for, and ultimately trusting in, the Force–yet each moment only served to heighten the growing frustration that'd been building inside her. Weeks—she had spent weeks doing this, and yet there was still such little progress. The healers had told her they couldn't be certain when the dust from the voidstone would entirely leave her system, but they'd assured her that she'd be back to normal once it did. But there was always that unsettling thought lingering in the back of her mind, questioning.

What if they were wrong? She couldn't even muster the mental strength to levitate a feather if she tried.

It was partly why she'd finally reached out to Valery Noble and asked for her help that day, to see if she could break through the barrier of whatever it was that was holding her back. Typically, she tried to handle things on her own and not bother Val, knowing the immense pressure she was already under and how busy her schedule was on a day-to-day basis, but Briana was scraping at the bottom of the barrel with this and she wasn't so prideful that she couldn't recognize the need to ask for help.

And who better to turn to than someone she trusted implicitly?

 

[Valery Noble]

Jedi Temple

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Ship: Link
Weapons: Blasters | Lightsaber
Tag: Briana Sal-Soren

"Started without me?" Valery teased after quietly slipping into the training room. Valery knew how serious this was, and could feel how much her former Padawan was struggling, but that's exactly why she joked around a little bit. The Void stone dust had a huge effect on her connection to the Force, but it wasn't going to last forever. So she didn't want to bring the mood down even more, and opted for a more positive approach.

One way or another, Briana was coming out of this training room today stronger.

"How are you feeling, Bri?" She then asked, and only if Briana wasn't swinging around her lightsaber, she'd make her way over to pull the woman into a warm embrace. Rodia had been difficult on them both for different reasons, so this hug was one Valery needed as much as Briana likely did.

After a moment, though, she pulled back and smiled at her former student, "Has the training here been helping a little? Or do you still feel stuck?"

 

[Briana Sal-Soren]

Wearing: XoXo
Equipment: Lightsaber
Location:
Tag: Valery Noble

"Started without me?"

A wry grin broke over her otherwise focused features, softening them momentarily as the unmistakably mellifluous voice that belonged to Valery echoed throughout the training dojo. Yet, the smile in itself was fleeting, giving way to a subtle frown.

Before, she would have easily been able to sense the woman's approach, long before her actual arrival. Annoyance flitted beneath the surface at this realization, but she quickly stifled it, extinguishing her lightsaber with a hiss and reattaching it to her belt. In one fluid movement she yanked off the deprivation helmet from her head, cradling it beneath her arm before moving to meet Valery halfway in a hug. "Nah, more like warming up." she assured her, giving one last tight squeeze before finally pulling back.

"How are you feeling, Bri?"

Briana hesitated for a split second in answering. Over their years of training together, Valery had been given a front row seat to witnessing Briana's infamous mood swings. And while she liked to think she'd come a long way since her days as an overly eager Padawan, there was no hiding it from someone so well attuned to her moods. "Frustration, annoyance... I guess you could say I'm experiencing the whole spectrum," Briana remarked with a wry grin.

"Has the training here been helping a little? Or do you still feel stuck?"

Briana glanced down at her heavily scorched training gear before looking back at Valery. "Well, as evident by the absence of burn marks on the surrounding walls," she casually gestured toward the untarnished practice area, "you could say it's been helpful." Despite her sarcastic quip and playful smile, her shoulders betrayed her true feelings as they slumped downwards. "It's just... I can't seem to break past this barrier that feels like it's holding me down. By this point, I thought things would have improved, that something would have finally clicked. You know?"

 

[Valery Noble]

Jedi Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Ship: Link
Weapons: Blasters | Lightsaber
Tag: Briana Sal-Soren

"That's understandable, you're not going through something easy," Valery assured her, mostly because people like Briana, and even Valery herself, often felt they never had the time and luxury to struggle and not be available to solve everybody else's problems. It was simply in Bri's nature to stand tall and strong, so others can find comfort in her strength.

Luckily, she was at least taking this situation seriously and not shrugging it off the way Valery had shrugged off many of her issues in the past.

Valery then listened to Briana talk about the progress she was making and nodded, "Sometimes when you feel like you hit a wall, it helps to take a step back and revisit your options." She smiled faintly and reached out to her former student through the Force. She could still that familiar, bright presence within, but it was clouded.

"Maybe we can find a way through what's blocking you together."

 

[Briana Sal-Soren]

Wearing: XoXo
Equipment: Lightsaber
Location:
Tag: Valery Noble

"I'm open to whatever you have in mind." she wearily sighed, her voice wavering with thinly veiled desperation as she brushed a rebellious strand of hair from her eyes. "So far, everything I've tried just feels like I'm patching symptoms rather than addressing the actual problem..." Her voice trailed off, hesitant to articulate the fear festering in her gut—a fear that wasn't necessarily based in reason but gripped her nonetheless: the possibility that her fractured connection to the Force might prove irreparable. To open up about this anxiety, even with Valery, demanded a certain vulnerability she was not yet ready to embrace.

A mere few years prior, she had ridiculed Brandyn for his grandiose ambition of becoming a Jedi – a dream she'd never once envisioned for herself. Her desires resided solely on Naboo, centered on the role their aunt Alora Ee'everwest meticulously trained her to one day assume. Yet as her training progressed within the Jedi, she'd discovered an unanticipated kinship with her brother's path, and within it, an unmatched sense of purpose and fulfillment eclipsing every other endeavor in her life. That was when the realization struck: being a Jedi was indeed her true calling.

Stripped of that identity, what remained of her? The title 'Duchess Sal-Soren' no longer carried its former charm; in fact, the more time spent apart from Naboo, the more foreign it became. Of course, she'd always do her duty and what was expected of her, what her family needed of her, but the pageantry mattered less and less. "However," she conceded with a flicker of hope in her voice, trying to push the thoughts out of her mind. "you may have a point about reconsidering the approach. A change in strategy could be what I need."

 

[Valery Noble]

Jedi Temple

​

Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Appearance: Link
Ship: Link
Weapons: Blasters | Lightsaber
Tag: Briana Sal-Soren

"Come, sit down with me."

Briana didn't need to open up and make herself vulnerable for Valery to realize how seriously frightening all of this was to her. She was the exact same way — someone who helped others confront their deepest fears whilst keeping her own hidden away. But as Briana's former Master, she could feel through their bond just how deeply this affected her. The three pillars of the Jedi — The Force, Knowledge, and Self-discipline — were all crucial, and now that one of these pillars seemed to be crumbling down around her, she was worried about her future.

Without the Force, could one truly be a Jedi after all?

"You aren't the first one to come to me about a weakening or complete loss of connection to the Force," Valery began, not to brag about herself, but to give Briana hope that she wasn't fighting against something she couldn't possibly defeat. "Their situations were different from yours, but they regained their connection as well. It was something you were born with, and destined to use to protect others. So as dark as things seem now, the Force won't abandon you," Valery said, as she thought about the journey she had with Kahlil and Amani.

Both severed from the Force, both whole again.

"I want to help you find it, and allow it to help you wash away what's disturbing this connection. To do that, we'll have to dive deep and this can... expose you in ways that might not be comfortable," Valery said to be open with her former student. She then reached out with her hand, the palm facing upwards, and looked Briana in the eyes with a warm, comforting smile.

"Do you trust me, Briana?"

 

[Briana Sal-Soren]

Wearing: XoXo
Equipment: Lightsaber
Location: Coruscant, Jedi Temple
Tag: Valery Noble

Briana refused to let the tears form.

They were there, of course, just at the back of her eyes and trying to squeeze out through the potent mixture of emotions bubbling at the base of her heart. It was almost too much, that tangle of fear and fragile hope that'd stemmed from Valery's comforting words about possible restoration.

A younger version of herself would have let those feelings flow unrestrained, but not anymore. With a soft sniff she dipped her head in understanding, silently leaning on the discipline that'd been instilled in her through the years of Valery's teachings to temper herself.

"Of course I trust you." Was Briana's only answer, her voice growing steadily more confident as she crossed the creaking floorboards of the dojo, lowering herself to sit across from Valery. "Just...tell me what I need to do." It was time to confront her fears — and hopefully, within that, regain that which she'd lost.