We Are Not What We Were Raised to Be

[Cezar Alexandrescu]

How dare Alwine say that Cezar could not hunt the witches. She did not know the life that the Dathomirian went through. The friends that were in the same boat as her going out to fight for something they had no choice in doing. Dying for a clan that looked down at them, and trained through torture to hunt down other Dathomirian witches as spot. That's when it slipped, a masculine tone that was heavy with pain came out in her words. "These aren't random witches... these came from Dathomir, they are the enemy."

Taking time away from Knights Obsidian, the training, focus, missions to do something personal for once, Cezar did not like this at all. That was way most of the walk she was silent. Even when Alwine wanted to start over, there was nothing to be said yet.

Closer to her ship, the realization how far she had gone and how much her disorder had a hold on her snapped her out of the rage. She felt so awful that she failed to have control. It really became clear how deep in the rabbit hole she had gone down when passing a crowd of people trying to handle the dead person she had killed.

Instantly, Cezar turned around to walk away. Hoping she was not spotted by people, it was nice that Alwine was with her. So the silence was broken. In a more feminine tone, she spoke to Alwine. "Yeah soooo... You didn't answer my questions, so I had to awesome random thing about you, sorry... no clue what you are."

Turning down the adjacent street, she kept talking a little. "Also sorry about the attack... You were a rancor at first. The bite... though painful was helpful to get me out of there."

Cezar was looping around to get to the ship and to appear like everything was on the up and up. She had to do one thing that she did let many do. "Fine... you can touch my hair."

[member="Alwine Lechner"]

 

[Alwine Daye]

Alwine rolled her eyes. Everyone was the enemy when you were on top of the foodchain and they wanted you to remove from it. She had lived thinking she was an endangered species in need of hiding all of her life, and she then learned that while she was endangered, she was not the bottom feeder her mother had tried to mold her into being. And still, she would not kill randomly just because someone was a witch. There was exactly one witch that she hated with every fiber of her short body. The others could live until they'd directly act against her.

"I am a Lupine," she answered with pride at Cezar's question, "it basically means that I am a wolf, and sometimes I wear my human shape. Like when I need to talk, because writing with sticks in the mud takes too much time and most people cannot understand barks."

They were walking through streets. Alwine was still naked.

Well, Alwine still did not care about being naked. Nineteen years of being forced to cover up, being constantly told that she ought to be ashamed of the body she had grown into, were over. They were not on Stewjon. This was a big ol' galaxy with all the possibilities that could be, and she had every intention of grabbing all the options she could. She would never again be limited due to prejudices.

She merely nodded at the apology. There was no need to hash it over again. If worst came to worst, she would simply bite Cezar again.

And then Cezar said Alwine could touch her hair.

Alwine grinned and rose to the tips of her toes, her fingers feeling as though they were touching a pure form of magic. It was so... Purple! And soft! She howled and smiled, looking at Cezar with admiration, still touching that wonderful cascade of color.

Later, much later, she released Cezar's hair.

"Thank you," she said, "you may touch mine if you wish, though I'm afraid it's nothing as special as yours."

[member="Cezar Alexandrescu"]

 

[Cezar Alexandrescu]

Well, Cezar still did not know a species known as Lupine, but if Alwine was a wolf that changed to a human. If the person with her did not want to write and people could not understand barks, thoughts were swimming around her head. Thinking, it was fine thing to do for a reasonable person; however, Cezar focusing thoughts on memories was opening window for her to slip again into the past.

The walking to the ship was enough time for the witch to relive training sessions. They were quick bits because something was keeping her from slip entirely. The oddest of feelings that Cezar had ever felt. Someone was not pulling or wanking her hair. Such the sensation of Alwine playing with her hair came to be a new memory. Smiling big as she could, a better time than those from her past.

Then like a million rancors hitting her at once, Cezar shouted, “Idiot! I’m such an idiot.” Why did she not think of it back in the woods before Alwine changed? Did she hate herself that much to ignore the teachings? Hating witches was her life, but why did she ignore the spells. They were useful after all. There was one that could allow them to speak to each other.

Being excited about the idea, the last bit of what Alwine said when she stopped playing with Cezar’s hair was ignored. It was not done with malicious intent, but more a mistake since her inner voice was louder with the spell idea. So began to run to her ship, there was a lot to test out now. Shouting back at Alwine, “Come on... let’s go, this will be a great idea!”

[member="Alwine Lechner"]

 

[Alwine Daye]

Her offer to touch her hair had been ignored. Well. Alwine did not like being ignored. She growled as Cezar suddenly broke into a run. With her human legs, she was not as fast as she was with the wolf's. Still, she ran after Cezar, wishing she had the ability to change faster. If she tried now, she could be stuck for several minutes, unable to follow, unable to do anything but that.

And yet, she had been invited to... join?

Alwine smiled now, picking her pace up. She would follow Cezar for now. And if Cezar tried anything funny...

Well, Alwine already knew her shoulder was injured. There was no reason not to injure the other soldier, the neck, kneecaps, and other body parts if things turned sour.

[member="Cezar Alexandrescu"]

 

[Cezar Alexandrescu]

Running up the ramp, there was a little wait time, but once Alwine was in the ship. Cezar could close it. Then they could have a little privacy for Cezar’s idea. Taking her shirt off and tossing it at some random spot, saying to Alwine, “Can you like change back to a wolf while I clean up? This idea is going to be awesome… just wish I thought of it before.”

The ship did not have rooms. There were three sections, and it was perfect for one person to call it their home on the go. Of course, she had to handle the wound she got. Looking into the mirror, it was a messy bite. At least the spell helped from it getting worse. The tank top was taken off and discarded it. She had to look around for the med packs. The mess of her ship was a clear sign no one ever came here but her. Finally finding them under clothes and wrappers, she focused on applying medical creams and wrapping over the bite area.

Once done, she looked for another shirt to wear. While on the search, boots were removed and pants. Weapons were the only thing that was put on shelves with care. She found a shirt that was large enough to hang from her shoulders so it would not bother her that much and pair fo shorts.

Cezar refocused on her guest to see if she put on an odd show or Alwine changed.

[member="Alwine Lechner"]

 

[Alwine Daye]

Can you change back into a wolf.

Alwine stared at Cezar in surprise. There were many things people had asked her for throughout her life; to clean the toilet, to clean the bed, to stand in the corner and listen as the wives were whipped for daring to speak out of turn. At home, she had been asked, no, demanded, to remember her place as a woman. Every ounce of her had undergone training in order to make sure she kept her head down.

Since her brother's attempt to make amends, she had been introduced into a life that had none of that. And still, some education ran deep, and no one aside for her brothers had ever asked her to shift into her wolf. Even her mother had tried to keep it to the necessary minimum.

And now, a complete stranger with purple locks wanted her to become a wolf again.

Alwine smiled. The fur began to sprout from her naked skin without a word on her part, the bones began to change their lengths, crack, shift. There was no purer feeling, nothing better than knowing that within minutes she would no longer be human. She cherished it. Changing into a wolf was the best feeling she had ever known, and would ever know.

Five minutes later, Alwine stood on four, and gave Cezar a bark.


[member="Cezar Alexandrescu"]

 

[Cezar Alexandrescu]

When Cezar focused on Alwine again, she gave the wolf a big smile. Then she approached slowly, “Okay… this won’t hurt.” Then she proceeded to hug Alwine. There was no clue how the wolf would react, but she had to do it. Then released so it was not a long hug.

It was now time to work. Awful things had to be done that she did not like but she knew it would. Part of her wished she knew the force another way than Dathomirian way. However, Alwine wanted her around than this had to be done. Grabbing a bowl, she sat in front of Alwine. “So… this is a spell that we learned on Dathomir. We talked to our Rancors this way… well a simpler way but I want this be more a perma level, like cast once and be done for good.”

Reaching up, Cezar pulled a single strand of hair from her own head. It was placed in the bowl. Before reaching over to Alwine because she was not crazy to be bitten again, she asked, “I need one… is that fine? Can bark once for yes and twice for no.”

[member="Alwine Lechner"]

 

[Alwine Daye]

Alwine took half a step back, but Cezar insisted on giving her a short hug. She was not sure how she felt about that. Her mother had taught her that physical contact was bad, but her mother had been wrong about pretty much everything. There were things Alwine was figuring out for herself; her ability to show her anger, her necessity to show her strength, no longer meek and hiding behind her gender.

And then Cezar mentioned spells. Alwine whimpered without meaning to. It had not been too long since she'd been released from her prison on Stewjon, where she had been imprisoned for months and accused of witchcraft. Her body and mind had both undergone so much abuse because of the accusation, and it didn't matter that witches really did exist and that she did not want to kill them just for being witches, the mere thought of having a spell cast on her made the wolf uncomfortable.

The only way the wolf knew how to deal with being uncomfortable was to show anger. Alwine growled lowly and barked twice.


[member="Cezar Alexandrescu"]

 

[Cezar Alexandrescu]

Of course, Cezar got a no from Alwine. The energic idiot forgot to important steps in all this. The spell got her so excited that casting the first part needed to happen. Putting the bowl to the side, she pretended to roll up her sleeves. Big smile as she looked Alwine, so cheery in voice. “Alright no spell for you right now… but this is for me and you can see what I want to do, ok? Ok!”

Focusing on herself, she held her palms out and facing up. She visualized what she wanted to see. In her mind there were two green glowing balls of ichor, they only appeared when Cezar began to speak in Peacaen. They flickered in her hand like someone trying to use a lighter and it was not igniting. There was a need to focus a little better, saying the words again. The focus deepened with a spark. Then a flash happened, Cezar’s hands had two small balls of ichor.

Bringing them up to her temples, she rubbed them against her head. Her eyes changed and glowed eye. Then she exhaled like she had just took a drag from a cig. Green smoked rolled out passed her lips. Her eyes returned to normal and there was no more green smoke being exhaled. Happy about it, she knew it worked and could test it. Resting her hands in her lap, she was going to hear Alwine speak basic to her as all sounds would be changed to words in her head by the force.

“Okay… one thing you got to know. I’m sorry, I jumped to step fifteen and did not show what I was going to do on myself. I didn’t want to make it weird. I just sometimes get excited and ahead of myself. Are we okay?”

[member=Alwine Lechner]

 

[Alwine Daye]

Alwine stared in near horror as Cezar was doing her thing, her wolf eyes wide and full of fear. All the warnings of Stewjon flashed in her memories, all the words of witches and consorting with demons, doing unspeakable things. The balls of whatever it was freaked her out and she took a few steps back, knees lowering to the ground, her tail between her legs, a low growl slowly rolling out of her. If Cezar was truly a witch of the kind Alwine had been told about in Stewjon, she could kill her before she could snap her soul and sell it to a devil.

And suddenly it all stopped.

Alwine stood straight again, her tail slowly releasing. She barked unhappily.

You call that not making it weird?! What is wrong with you! Why are you consorting with demons?!


[member="Cezar Alexandrescu"]

 

[Cezar Alexandrescu]

That was new to Cezar. Consorting with demons and something wrong with her, it sent her over the edge of being polite. Her eyes squinted, and mouth flew open; however, nothing in anger came from her. She burst in laughter. Leaning back as she laughed so hard, that she almost fell over. This hit her funny bone hard.

She should have been more compassionate with how it could look. Green ichor and glowing eyes could frighten people. On a normal day, she would be that compassionate and explain it all. Even before she started, but it was clear she was excited before the spell and now she was being rude.

Before she started to lose air, she pushed her words between the laughing. If the laughter was taken out between her words, there was a full reply back to Alwine that would be like this, “Demons? Oh my… and there so much wrong with me but this isn’t one of the times… It is the force… I used ichor that’s the physical form of the force and now I can understand your wolfie talk, Alwine.”

Cezar wiped a tear from her eye and whooed to help stop her laughter. Smiling big, she added, “We use this spell to talk to rancors… but I want to mod it so we don’t have to do the spell all the time. The over and over will wear thin in my eyes.”

[member=Alwine Lechner]

 

[Alwine Daye]

She... Cezar was laughing? What is the way Alwine had barked? The wolf growled again, ready to bite the other woman's neck apart, when she began to talk. If Alwine had been spooked and threatened before, now she was out right scared, running away to the other corner of the room. Cezar was talking as if she knew each and every word Alwine had barked. It was most unbecoming!

But... It was... A spell?

The wolf blinked.

What is ichor? she asked, Why does it look like demons? What are rancors? If you have magic why don't you just turn into a wolf yourself?

 

[Cezar Alexandrescu]

Oh, Cezar snapped to when she saw Alwine back away. That was not her intent. Dealing with people who were not Jensaarai bookworms and Dathomirian witches, it was odd and a skill she did not know so well. It never dawned on her that what she did or was would scare someone. Being around force users, all of it was so normal.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh… I never had anyone call what I did weird and consorting with demons.” There was concern and worry in her voice, she was getting worked up because she overlooked such details like everyone is not her or been in same situation.

Same concern carried on, “Let’s start easy, I can’t change like you cuz I don’t know those abilities… wait, I don’t think there is anything out there that does what you do. Hmmm?” Cezar stopped to actually think about because it was good question. One that she never heard of or seen. She was not even sure how Alwine did it. Boy, she kept forgetting things. “Yeah, I don’t think there is a force ability to do what you do.” Adding to reinsure herself more than Alwine.

Remembering other questions, she added, “Rancors are just big five or so meter tall, massive beasts that can smash walkers and people with ease. They are friends to the witch clans on Dathomir. Like, we hunt and fight together type of thing.”

Quickly thinking about it, Cezar waved Alwine over. She was feeling bad about scaring the wolf. “Please relax… so like you can come here and chill with me. We can talk about the force, ichor and how things work in the galaxy. Like I haven’t change, I am me and you are you.” Cezar was concern that it was too much. Some type of culture shock occouring in front of her. She felt awful. “Please, I feel bad you are in that corner. Everything is super okay. There is so much to talk about that I don’t need you all like this.”

 

[Alwine Daye]

No one had ever called Cezar weird and consorting with demons? Normally, Alwine would have thought about what that meant about Cezar. Now, however, her mind was elsewhere. Cezar had traveled around the galaxy. Could that mean that places like Stewjon were rare? Could it mean that the planet she hailed from was a sore thumb? It was a comforting thumb. If there were no other places like it, it meant there were less places she had to completely destroy.

But the wolf listened to every word, about force abilities and changing, about rancors and chilling. When the girl finished talking, the wolf walked forward and sat down on her back legs.

"Force abilities?" she asked, "is that what I did when I burned the food storage of my village?"

A paw went up to scratch her neck.
"Do you expect me and you to hunt and fight together like you with the... Rancors?"

[member="Cezar Alexandrescu"]

 

[Cezar Alexandrescu]

The light bulb in Cezar slowly faded on. The getting clue light needed time to warm up so much that hamsters in the wheels maybe were taking a smoke break or something. Well now that she knew what it all meant. She got a little over excited.

The clue in, Stewjon was where Cezar got her recent broken leg, ribs, shoulder, jaw. That was just speeder and crashing into the building with an explosion. She had taken shots and punches while killing the elites on that world for burning witches. The second was Awline’s reactions to the magic and force used. Demons and witchcraft add in fear and it was what sent some Mandragora and Knights to Stewjon.

Everything else was lost for the moment. The light from getting a clue was so bright for Cezar. “Oh chit!!! Stewjon… I’m such an idiot. You said that… Stupid me… That’s why you were afraid of what I did. It was about you on that mission.”

Cezar could not hold it back. She was already up from her spot and hugging Alwine again. “Glad they got you out and you'll better now… and because of you, I had the fun of killing your elites that wanted to burn you and other witches.”

[member="Alwine Lechner"]

 

[Alwine Daye]

The wolf did not seem happy about the mention of Stewjon, nor the connections Cezar was making about it.

"Stewjon was not about me," she answered, "if it was, my brother would have never left me there in the first place, or returned to free me much earlier. Stewjon was just another attempt of a queen trying to get her claws into my brother. She broke our pack and then thought that waiting several months before coming would somehow fix anything. You were all manipulated into her little plan.

But yes, I am out, and yes, I am better now. Many places outside of Stewjon are better. Are safer, for me. On Stewjon I had to hide the fact that I am a Lupine. I will never take on my human shape again unless absolutely necessary."

Cezar was hugging her. The wolf wasn't sure how she felt about being hugged by the woman. Her initial instinct was to bite straight into her jugular vein. Instead... She chose another approach.

"Stop hugging me," she said, "but if you have a brush, you may brush my fur out. It's been a while since I've had it done. Especially the part behind the ear, it's hard to reach properly with my paw."

[member="Cezar Alexandrescu"]

 

[Cezar Alexandrescu]

Outside of talking to herself, Cezar really did not interact with people. On Dathomir, she was part of the slaves in the clan before made to portray a woman. Even after, it was known what she was. So, the clan women never spoke to in a social context. Training or battle when she got another to speak directly’ish to her. The other slaves did not talk to each other out of their shame. The outsiders that she freed to escape with were going to sell her on the slave market; however, learned many people out of Dathomir were weaker. That did end well for the hunters. This did not change for Cezar even when with the Jensaarai. She kept to herself because of social fears and shame. She did get out of that behavior, but she was still socially awkward with the others.

Releasing her hug, Cezar moved back. The hugging was what she remembered seeing witches do for a lot of different. It was awkward time. A short lived one because Alwine suggested something. A brush was easy to find. There were tons all over the ship. Someone had a habit of losing them and finding them after a new one was brought. Grabbing one from a pile of clothes, she scooted back over to Alwine. She started to gently brush down Alwine’s back. “I’m sorry… I won’t bring up that mission anymore and for hugging. I was doing what I remember seeing others do in the Clan I was part of. No really spoke to me so I thought I was doing it right.”

[member="Alwine Lechner"]