Private We Are Who We Are

[Rann Thress]

The harsh desert sun beat down on Rann as he stared across the small expanse of sand between him and Naneti Sso Jri Qorit, quietly lamenting his dark gray wardrobe.

"Kesh," he said quietly to himself. He had never heard of the planet before, nor had he ever heard of this...place his Sister apparently called home. If you were half-aquatic, the desert was...an odd choice to live. But if you were hiding? Nowhere better.

It had been years. Rann couldn't remember when the last time he saw Damsy was. But over those many years he grew to miss his sister immensely, recently beginning to search for signs of her, alive or dead. Rumors and hints were few and far between, but consistencies were prevalent enough that someone searching for her in particular would be able to piece her location together, though Rann still couldn't believe it.

Pulling his hood up over his head to keep out of the sun as much as he could; he trudged forward while cursing the sand that found its way into his boots, approaching Naneti Sso Jri Qorit. As he grew closer, his already slow walk slowed even further as he felt...unsure of how to proceed. This was her home and the last thing Rann wanted was to barge in if she WAS home...or break in if she wasn't. Her situation was...cloudy, to say the least. She remained a blind spot in the Force for him, but from what he had heard?

They were certainly both Darth Metus ' kids.

Stopping shy of the walls, Rann looked up at the structure and closed his eyes tight, focusing on his beloved sister. He searched for her presence through the Force...remaining clouded. Still, however, he focused on where she should be and thought of a single word.

Guppy?

Damsy Callat

 

[Damsy Callat]

"Uhhh..."

Damsy couldn't think of the last time she had named another being. Perhaps it was only once. Keziah had been given to her with a fitting name. She had christened her robotic companions herself, but that was the only way they would get named. Trinj, the seamouse that had become her first and only for a long while friend in the oceans of Kamino, was the only flesh and blood sentient she had named. Back then, she hadn't been able to connect with beasts like she had been able to since her transformation, so that, too, felt like a necessity, but no longer.

The Sith choked up on the Force-imbued leashes, wrapping them both further around her hands. She squatted down to look one lion, then the other, in the face. She glanced lastly up at Halmethe, the Keshiri priestess whom had prompted her in the first place. "Dunno. Let's ask 'em, ay?"

Damsy closed her eyes even before turning her head back to the felines. She reached out, much like Rann was, and heard a name she hadn't in a long time.

Rann would be able to feel where she was all at once: past the gates, through a neighborhood of earthen huts, into the main marketplace, in front of a large obelisk etched in ur-Kittât runes.

The lions, that had been calm previously, began to agitate. One bristled the fur along her spine; the other silently chattered, flashing her teeth.

"What is it?" asked Halmethe, her muscles instinctually tensing under her sweaty, purple skin.

"It's a'ight," Damsy said as she stood. "Someone's 'ere. They don't mean no 'arm."

At least, she really hoped that he didn't.

Rann Thress

 

[Rann Thress]

After only a brief moment, Rann felt a presence, her presence, emanating from the stronghold in front of him. With a relieved and partly nervous sigh he pushed forward, entering through the doors of his sisters new home. As he passed the huts and the marketplace, he wondered how much of a hand Damsy had in the running of this place. Was she hands on? As he had tried to be? Did she let them decide their own fate? As he should have done? Were they happy? Was she a tyrant?

He wanted to ask, to find someone and question them about how they lived, but he continued moving forward following the trail that guided him closer to where the feeling was strongest.

The marketplace seemed bustling, as much as could be expected in a place such as this, and in the center next to a large black obelisk that seemed the complete inverse of the pillar monument in the center of Point Besboi on Rannon was a figure holding two lions to heel.

As he approached, for a moment, he was speechless. He hadn’t seen her in so long, yet the figure that stood before him barely resembled the sister he had known. Her face hadn’t changed, sure, but her demeanor….her expression, her clothing. Nothing like he had remembered.

His sister, his older sister, had grown up.

“Damsy…” he said, coming to a stop close enough to speak somewhat privately, but far enough he had enough of a time to react if she had unexpectedly loosed her beasts.

“You look…good.” Rann complimented her with a small smile, and looked at the two Lions at her sides and continued, “not so much a Guppy anymore, though, are you?” He asked. He thought for a brief moment about letting a pause hang for a second, to let her respond, but his mind was going a mile a minute and he had so much he wanted to say. “It’s been too long. I’m sorry for not…I’m sorry for not being there. Being…anywhere. I don’t know if you needed me. And that kills me. Maybe you didn’t…but I don’t know. And that…I’m sorry.” His face shifted into one of sadness, regret. Rann had made many mistakes, many he could atone for or attempt to, and many he would hold himself accountable for for the rest of his life. Not being there for perhaps the only family member he had that he knew unequivocally would have been there for him?


He would never…could never forgive that.

Damsy Callat

 

[Damsy Callat]

Damsy had decided to say put as Rann came to find her.

She was mostly certain that he meant no harm to anyone within these walls. Even if he had been the same man that she had last known him as, she was confident that their special bond as not just fated half-siblings but as something more meaningful would be enough to ensure the safety of the people of Naneti.

By the time he came into the marketplace, she had turned from her humanoid companion and watched him as he came closer. At first, her smile was small. It grew as he spoke. She was happy to see him, yes, but their meeting was bittersweet. She felt increasingly bad for him as he stumbled over his words.

Finally, once a moment stretched into a full beat, she laughed. "For you," she replied as she handed both leashes over to Halmethe, "I'm anythin'." She opened her arms and closed the distance between herself and her brother in a few strides, an action perhaps reminiscent of the way she had carried herself as a Dauntless commando. New digs, new drip, but some old habits still died hard.

She pulled back after a long embrace that they both had needed. "Welcome," she said. "Ain't gonna ask ya 'ow ya found me, but I will ask you to come inside."

It was her turn to leave no space for response, except for following behind her, as she lead him across the square, under a worn and faded cloth awning, and into the open door of a cantina. The natural coolness would be an immediate physical and mental relief. "Two waters, Khoan," she told the darkness that swam in their field of vision as their eyes adjusted to the low light. Once they did, Damsy took a seat at an empty table and indicated to the chair opposite her for Rann to sit.

Just as he did, a male massassi approached them and set two mugs of water on the tabletop. He looked to Damsy. "Vina?*" he asked.

She nodded. "Tezn kais xisad.**"

The massassi laughed at that and slid one mug towards her. Before he moved away, he reached out to clasp her shoulder.

She covered his hand with her own, reaching with the other for the handle. He moved away to take the orders of other patrons and Damsy took a long drag of her drink.

Rann Thress

Spoiler: ur-Kittât translations

* Salted?
** Just like always.

 

[Rann Thress]

Rann opened his arms and met his sisters embrace with a small smile, inhaling deeply to fill the feeling of emptiness within his chest. He said nothing as he followed her into the dark shade of a cantina, said nothing as drinks were ordered, and said nothing as he took his seat opposite her. Too preoccupied thinking about what he should say, what someone in his situation even could say.

He took a drink of his water as the two cups were placed before them, and his eyes went wide as he tasted the salt within. His throat opened involuntarily and he accidentally pulled more in before pulling the drink away, coughing. He looked at the drink, then at his sister who had no problem drinking it, and laughed.

He remembered the first time they had met. How he had watched her pour packets of salt inside a glass of water after Rodia. It was strange then,

But if there was ever any doubt as to whether or not Rann was a fish, it was gone now.

He put the drink back down on the table, stared at it for a minute, and looked back to meet his sister.

“I don’t think I have the same palate as you.” He said, still smiling.

“But it’s really…really reassuring to see that something’s never change.”

“I have a million questions, Gup, but I’ll settle on just one for now: how have you been?”

Damsy Callat

 

[Damsy Callat]

Damsy screwed up her nose, imagining how it would be like to drink unexpectedly salt water when your body couldn't process it., and laughed, not at the experience, but at Rann's latter reactions.

"Matters what been covers," she said. "I'm aight right now, been for a bit, but I had a real 'ard patch a few years 'go." She pursed her lips to one side of her mouth. "Think I'm still comin' off it, honestly."

She straightened. "'Ow 'bout you?" Her smile exuded empathy. So much had happened to her since they last met—so much sadness now weighed upon her shoulders—that she could almost feel the same emotions on him without reaching out to the Force. "That's prolly a loaded question. You ain't gotta answer."

Rann Thress

 

[Rann Thress]

“No more loaded a question from you then from me,” he said with a chuckle at the end, flagging down the waiter and ordering a water with no salt, taking a long drink when it arrived a minute later.

“Hard patches have been…yeah. The norm. Seems like good patches is a more appropriate saying.” He shrugged, smiling. He wasn’t going to dwell on the past too much, there’s been time enough for that already.

“But it’s getting better. I’ve…I’ve come to the conclusion that…I…Rann…I’m a good person. Or at least I want to be. That’s what finally got me to find you. Be better, do better, be a brother I’d want-a sibling I’d want. Help people. Be Rann, not Not-Rann.” He said, reaching into one of his belt pouches and pulling out two blooded red crystals.

“The last remnant of who I was, these.” He said, holding them up and placing them on the table. “Part of me wants to throw them away. Maybe bury them in the desert out there. But…I can’t. I don’t want to. Another part of me wants to purify them. Give them the respect they deserve. But…” he shrugged.

“I don’t know.” He looked at the crystals, then reached under his tunic and pulled free a necklace, an etched purple crystal dangling from the middle engraved in symbols Rann didn’t recognize.

“I was given this by the natives of Hurrikane. Big rock golems covered in the stuff. They gave me three. Two are in my lightsabers…one of which I lost quite recently. This is the third. They gave me this for helping them, saving them, from poachers. They asked that I never use specifically this one for war, or violence. That I keep it and remember.” He dropped it and let it dangle from his neck. “Remember what I dunno. Sometimes I think it’s to remember my promise to be better…but I don’t know.”

He took another drink from his glass, and signaled for a refill.

He took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly.

“That’s…that’s what I want for you too. I’ve heard…I’ve heard that you’ve been busy. Sithspawn freed from bondage…then some sithspawn causing…shall we say a ruckus.”

He shrugged, and looked at his dear sister, meeting and holding her eyes.

“I would never presume to judge you. Ever. I…I just want you to be safe. And to not be Dad.”

Damsy Callat

 

[Damsy Callat]

Damsy appraised the crystal, then her brother again as it dropped around his neck, and smiled. "Maybe you ain't gotta know what," she suggested. "Sometimes, bein' made ta think is 'nough, y'know?"

At his change of topic, she frowned. The animal is her was feeling a bit cornered, though the talking point had been somewhat inevitable, and she was doing her best to curb her fight reaction. Being confronted with facts and the various assumptions they bore, often negative, was something she was used to, but taking it from a family member, even one who said that he wasn't judging her, hit different.

She closed her eyes and took a sip of water, focused on the feel of the liquid spilling down her throat. When she met Rann's gaze again, she gave a sigh of her own. "Rann, I was in bondage." Hers hadn't been of the physical variety, but she had had them nonetheless: condemned to swim alone for her first twenty years of life, only walking on manufactured land long enough to get poked and prodded or told horror stories to keep her freedom in check. And, after that, not encouraged to explore the star seas but only serve the Confederacy. "What I s'pposed to do? Let 'em suffer a life they didn't ask for an' die for a master they prolly scared as sin of?

"We do cause trouble, but only as much as we need ta set 'em free. I feel bad when they defend themselves, or I have to, but I feel worse leavin' 'em to a fate that couldda been mine." After all, if Darth Metus hadn't been her sire, or else hadn't kept hold of her for as long as he did, another Dark Master might well have made or found and enslaved her.

"I ain't Dad. Don't you say that 'gain.

"If ya only came for assurance o' that, you can go now."

Rann Thress

 

[Rann Thress]

“No-I…no.” Rann said, looking down at the fresh glass on his table.

“That’s not what I meant.” He razed his gaze back towards hers. “I only meant… I…” he stopped himself, collecting his thoughts before continuing.

“You’re not me, either. You’re my big sister I shouldn’t think you’re gonna go down the same path I did but…I was becoming Dad. Maybe worse, because I wanted to be him. I wanted to follow in his footsteps completely. I wanted to be the next Dreadlord. More than that, I wanted everything. I wanted to not be Rann, and that meant killing everyone who loved me. I did things I didn’t need to, killed people I didn’t have to. I destroyed lives. Families.” He looked down at the crystals and pointed at them, “I earned those. And it didn’t take much.” He exhaled shakily, closing his eyes, then shook his head as if clearing the thoughts and raised his head again.

“I believe in my heart of hearts you do what you feel is right. And I also believe in what you’re doing, I just…” he paused again and took a drink, leaning forward on the table on his arms,

“No, you’re not him, and okay. I won’t ever compare you to him again. Free your people. Defend your people. I trust you to do what’s right. I have every faith in you.”

“But I don’t judge you, and I mean that. You’re a saint compared to most in our family. I didn’t come here to…I didn’t come here to condemn you or your actions. And I didn’t come here to patronize you. You have a solid mission I don’t think the Council could even question, if their opinion mattered much outside GA space.” He chuckled then added “or in it, for that matter.”

“Like I said… I think the only thing I said that I want to matter… I just want you to be safe. As safe as you can be.” He gestured between them, back and forth, “we don’t have much, but we have each other, I just want to keep it that way.”

Damsy Callat

 

[Damsy Callat]

Damsy's smile, slowly, returned.

"It will," was her second promise to him, "if I have anythin' to say 'bout it, which I reckon I do."

She took another draw of saltwater. "I 'preciate that you're with me on this. If you know, then the Council prolly does too, though they don't know why. I haven't even though 'bout petitionin' 'em. The Jedi I've talked to don't get it. Why would their leadership?"

The smile morphed into a shy semblance of itself. She shrugged. "If you're finna say Anakin Skywalker, I've thought 'bout that too. I dunno. If I had to make our case to Grandmaster Noble right now, I'd say that the existence of some Spawn that just wanna chill on a Wild Space backwater is a hell of a lot of a better balance to the Force than your run-of-the-mill, power-hungry an' geocidal Sith Acolyte or Lord." She pouted. "No, uh, offense. And, yeah, Imma Lord too, but I take pride in not being as fethed up as most of 'em. Like ya said yourself: saintly or whatev'.

"Though the Jedi I know have a different perspective than you."

Rann Thress

 

[Rann Thress]

"None taken," he said, brushing the comment off, "I've renounced my title entirely. Far as I'm concerned that guy is dead and buried. I'd consider myself....a lot more gray now...not just in my hair. Though I wouldn't dare call myself a Jedi in any respect." He smiled, "I put too much stock in it, I'm happy to see you don't. So many Sith Lords think they're the Sith'ari. Bane come again. I just...." He slumped back "I'm too tired for that nonsense. Light, Dark, it's all too much. The dogma is bothersome."
"My history is a little....spotty. Skywalker?" He asked, cocking his head to the side, "The one who destroyed the real Sith--No offense." He said, gesturing a hand, "I mean Bane's Sith. Or--ah whatever. That's like a thousand years ago. Y'know I do wonder what the Jedi back then would think of the Jedi now, but. Noble? Valery Noble ? I met her once. Didn't know she was Grandmaster. She's good people. Definitely a proper Jedi, I think."


He stopped and pondered for a minute. "Freeing people from bondage. I can't imagine the Council, or Grandmaster Noble, would object, no matter who it was. I can't imagine them reading in the news about a Sith being in slave and going 'a-ha!' ....Well I mean, maybe they would, but they shouldn't."

He stopped and pondered for a moment, furrowing his brow in thought, “Anakin?” He asked, then continued, “I thought Luke was the guy? Grandmaster Luke Skywalker? Founder of the New Jedi Order? Who’s Anakin?”

Damsy Callat

 

[Damsy Callat]

She kept any further doubts to herself; there was no need to dwell on them in Rann's presence.

Instead, she decided to fill in the blanks of his historical knowledge. "Luke was that guy, yeah," she confirmed, agreeing that he had founded the New Jedi Order. "Anakin was before. Fathered Luke when marriage an' child rearin' was a no-no for Jedi. For a few reasons, that one 'cluded, he fell to the Dark side, 'came Darth Vader, who Luke later killed."

Damsy took her own pregnant pause, but to allow her brother, not herself, to process. Once it looked like he had, she continued, "Some believe Anakin was a Sithspawn created by the then-Emperor. Everyone, at least Lightsided or open-minded, knows that Anakin brought balance to the Force, just in a long-winded an' hella ironic way."

Rann Thress

 

[Rann Thress]

Rann listened to his sister as she spoke, nodding along to show he was following and understood, and again furrowed his brow as he contemplated what he was told.

So the legendary Darth Vader was Anakin Skywalker? And then was killed by his own son? he thought to himself, making the not so far fetched comparison to his own troubled relationship with his own father.

“Well…if you look up to him, it makes sense to do so. I heard about the prophecy of the chosen one when I was with the SJO after I first left Onderon but… well. I always thought…and I still do think it’s impossible. But man. What an ideal to strive towards.” He sat back again and crossed him arms, tossing his gaze towards the ceiling in thought.

“So Darth Vader brought balance to the Force? How? He killed the Jedi, right? Him and the Emperor. Not all of them, apparently, else there wouldn’t be any today, a Jedi turned Sith Lord isn’t rare, right? I kinda technically did that. What made him so special? That his son killed him? If he killed the Jedi, then his son killed him and the Emperor, wouldn’t his son be the one who brought balance?” He asked, lowering his gaze back towards his sister.

Damsy Callat

 

[Damsy Callat]

"A reasonable person might think that, right?" she asked rhetorically, then shook her head. "But it ain't the whole story. See, most everyone these days seems to think that Luke killed Vader anyway. The truth is that Vader protected his son from Sideous, both killin' his own master an' dyin' in the process."

Damsy smacked her lips. "Now, did that make up for all the chit he did? That's the question. He killed prolly tens of thousands o' people, not countin' the inhabitants of the planet he destroyed. Some would say not, but, really, I know it did. No one else couldda killed that ol' hooded prune but the one he least 'xpected."

She took another pause. "That idea powers this place now. Spawn are only evil 'cause of who and what they made by. Even still, there's always potential for somethin' evil to drive good fortune for all."

The Siren leaned over the table, hand seeking out one of his over the hardwood. "Errbody 'serves a reason to feel good 'bout 'emselves, Rann. I think I've found ours."

Rann Thress

 

[Rann Thress]

Rann took another drink of his water and let what his sister said hang for a minute, losing himself in thought.

“So at the end of his life, Vader became Anakin again, and did one good thing. The best thing he could do. He killed himself and Sidious, ending the Sith order that could trace itself back to Bane and the old Empire.” He was fascinated. Rann was far and away not the Chosen One, but he couldn’t help but marvel at the similar paths he and Vader had taken. Both Jedi-ish people who fell to the dark side for their respective reasons, both trying to redeem their terrible actions. Vader was-is villified and for good reason. He didn’t do what he did out of the goodness of his heart, but out of fatherly love. Was that enough?

For Rann, yes, it was. What matters is he did it. He made that call. Did he bring balance? …Maybe not. So maybe the Chosen One was still out there, or not yet born.

But he was balance. A Jedi and a Sith. Light and dark, like Rann.

“A figure worthy of reverence.” He said, nodding. “If that’s the example to strive for, I get it. I support that whole heartedly. It reinforces what I think about you, Gup. You’re doing good work, and I’m very proud of you.”

He smiled brightly at his sister, his chest full of pride, he didn’t know what to expect but he cursed his inner thoughts for even entertaining a single bad thought about Damsy.

“if there is any way I can help, please tell me.”

Damsy Callat

 

[Damsy Callat]

Damsy thought that over. As she did, she straightened in her chair and withdrew her hand. She realized that wholehearted support and brotherly pride didn't necessarily equate to desire to join her in belief and action, but, she might as well say what she had to.

"Not that we can't stand our own 'lone, but you could help us," she began, "if you wanted to join up."

She shrugged, suddenly a bit sheepish. The emotion reflected in her voice. "Look, I heard ya: you ain't tryna be like Dad. If hangin' 'round Spawn's too Sithy for ya, I get it..." She flashed a mischievous smirk. "But you asked."

Rann Thress

 

[Rann Thress]

Rann let out a loud, singular laugh. “I’m not some paladin of righteousness. I care a lot more about what someone does then I do about what someone is. A helluva lot more. You have tyrannical Jedi, benevolent Sith. Praise the deserving, condemn the deserving.”

He smiled and continued, “I’m going to have matters that pull me elsewhere, but if something comes up that you need, or like, me for, give me a call. I’ll come runnin’.”

Damsy Callat

 

[Damsy Callat]

Damsy gave her own laugh. "Course." It was nice to feel supported by a non-Spawn for once. She did think momentarily to ask for him to drop Valery Noble her name, interest, and handle, but the Siren dismissed the thought as soon as it had come. There was always another day, or not always but often later opportunities aplenty. Plus, even if there wasn't, most of the Spawn of Naneti Sso Jri Qorit had only started to feel like they deserved their freedom; they were in no way ready to entertain mutual tolerance with the Jedi.

No: if that's what was on the table, the Jedi would want it first, or, alternatively, more badly than Damsy. There was enough instilled stigma and trauma stuffed into this stronghold to fill a whole star system. It couldn't be the Spawns' responsibility to grovel at the feet of the Light—and it wouldn't be on her watch.

"I won't keep ya much longer then. How 'bout a tour then a teleport outta dodge? I think Imma better interior decorator than Dad, but I'd 'preciate your 'pinion on as much."

Rann Thress

 

[Rann Thress]

Rann smiled and finished his drink, slapping his hand on the table softly,

“Sounds perfect. I don’t think you’d have quite as many meat hooks as dear old dad,” he said with a chuckle.

Not that their father was that overtly evil, but still it was a silly joke.

“Yeah let’s take a look at this place of yours. I’m excited to see where my dear sister has been spending her days. Then… then I imagine we have some work to do.”

Damsy Callat

The End.