We Need Medicine

[Sol Damerin]

Had Pamnis provided her thoughts Sol would have been mildly amused. There was no shame in not being able to fight, most everyone didn't know how to fight so relying on another for it wasn't something to beat herself up over. Just as Sol didn't beat himself up over not being particularly good at Force Healing, to the point he'd needed her help. Everyone had different skills and only a fool beat themselves up over not being able to do something they'd never practised. The caveat being if you never practised anything at all, in that case, you should feel great shame.

"I did nothing that he won't recover from shortly." Sol says helpfully, but enigmatically. The exact thing he'd done to get his revenge would not be shared but when he remembered it a slight upward quirk of the lips crosses his face. Sometimes the best revenge wasn't pain but something else. Still, if she wasn't going to ask for details he'd not volunteer them to her, where was the fun in that?

Pursing his lips he thinks for a moment. A week wasn't really all that long and depending on where she had to go it might even be that long at hyper speed. He wasn't sure this girl was thinking this all the way through but with a shrug of his shoulders. "Ord Mantell is the closest planet with the best prospects for a new job so I guess I'll see if anyone is heading there." The whole process takes about an hour but when it is done they have passage on a freighter heading to Ord Mantell the next morning. "Alright, be here bright and early then. I assume you have a place to stay for the night?" He didn't but he could figure something out pretty quick.

[member="Pamnis Hosk"]

 

[Pamnis Hosk]

The Doctor nodded with a small, pleased smile after Sol's claim that whoever was aboard that spaceship had not been injured...at least not enough to require her help and her amusement increased when she caught sight of the mercenary's momentary happy expression. Well, a stabbed foot was enough reason to seek revenge, wasn't it?

Pamnis could see that the man was spotting faults in her logic. A few moments ago, she was spotting them herself until again, that familiar feeling shook within her, as though inciting her to test it. That was the reason why she had let him choose so freely their next destination, and as soon as the name Ord Mantell left the man she found herself quite startled. The office where she would be taking on her next job was in Anobis, and that was pretty close to Ord Mantell. However, the surprised feeling that bubbled up within her did not reach her face, she'd rather keep that to herself for the time being.

"Sounds good to me," answered the human-Hapan hybrid and proceeded to walk by him as he managed to get them transport for the following day. Pamnis nodded when he then addressed her, "Yes, I rented an apartment not too far from here. Do you have somewhere to stay? I wouldn't mind having you over. Its small but seeing as how its just one night...plus the sofa is fairly decent." She offered with a smile and a happy glint in her eyes. She was indeed blessed with an almost annoyingly good mood...

[member="Sol Damerin"]

 

[Sol Damerin]

Well, she certainly is easy going. Sol thinks to himself when she agrees to his plan without the slightest hesitation. Was she always this trusting or was she like him, listening to the guidance of The Force. Probably a bit of both he was sure, she seemed like the friendly sort but even the most naive of those knew to be careful around mercenaries. However, then she went and even invited him into her home. Jeeze this girl needed to work on her survival instincts, who invites a known stranger with obvious skill at violence into their home when they barely knew them? Then again Sol supposed he hadn't given her any reason to distrust him and they were going to travel together.

"I don't." He finally says and then he shrugs. "Thanks for the offer, saves me a few credits." He finally decides and then gestures indicating she should lead the way to her abode. He gets the sense that they would be having an interesting chat once they got there.

[member="Pamnis Hosk"]

 

[Pamnis Hosk]

"No problem." she answered and turned around, walking away from the space station as Sol followed her. The sun was falling down and with it the amount of light diminished as day gave way to night. "Luckily for you we are near my apartment. I am half-Hapan so if it had been just a few moments later you'd have been left with a very nearsighted guide. Its no fun when you need to get somewhere and you can't almost see a thing," she said and gave a short laugh. A few moments later they had reached the building. It was simple, nice. Nothing extraordinary.

She opened the door to the small, quite empty room that served as a lobby and waited for Sol to walk in behind her. She then headed for the elevator and walked in. Usually Pamnis would have taken the stairs but her guess was that there was already too little light there to try it. Last thing she needed was to trip in front of the mercenary, even if she was sure that would make him laugh and at the though a small smiled stretched her lips.

It was just four floors up, and the elevator ride was quite a short one. Pamnis walked down two doors from the corridor and stood in front of the third one, getting the key from her backpack and opening the door. The first thing she did was turn on the light.

"Home, for tonight." she said, welcoming him in. As she had mentioned before, the apartment was quite modest in size. It was composed of one large room with walls dividing one small sector for the kitchen and a another one for the bathroom. The bed was in a corner of the larger space, next to a window, and somewhere in front of it were a table and the sofa she had told Sol about.

[member="Sol Damerin"]

 

[Sol Damerin]

Suppressing a sigh Sol follows the girl as they walk down the street. If she was half Hapan he was missing out on what could have been a very amusing show if she had to stumble about in the dark. Then again if she practised with The Force a bit more she wouldn't need to worry about that. Sol himself could have walked to her apartment with her eyes closed and not make a single misstep. Though to be fair he was very good at precognition and allowing the force to guide his actions, not every wielder had his skills. Though most force users that wound up blind figured out at least one way to cope, which suggested it could be learned even if it wasn't naturally in your skill set.

The apartment was small modest and ordinary, the kind of place Sol might have rented for himself was he so inclined. He didn't like attracting attention and this was the kind of building where one could quite easily blend in with the crowd so to speak. Her apartment matched the rest of the building unsurprising if she was staying there temporarily, he was betting it had come furnished.

Dropping his bag by the door he moves to the couch and checks it. It was comfortable enough to sleep on for the night. He was old but as a merc he'd learned how to sleep on any flat surface. Straightening he gives her a look, the look because he only had the one a flat stony stare. "Alright, I suppose we should talk about the Bantha in the room now that we are alone. The Force." That is all he says mostly because he isn't quite sure how to approach the subject beyond finally calling it out.

[member="Pamnis Hosk"]

 

[Pamnis Hosk]

Pamnis had went directly into the kitchen soon after entering the apartment. "Want anything to drink?" she asked, the apartment wasn't big and it was disposed in such a manner that, as long as you raised you voice just a litte, you might as well be talking in the same room. A few moments later she walked back into the main area of the apartment, a water glass in one hand and whatever he might have asked for in the other.

"Told you it wasn't that bad. At least as to what comfort concerns it might as well be the bed, not that much of a difference really" the doctor commented with a tiny relaxed smile. She took a seat in one of the two chairs that surrounded the small table, a slight turn of her head was enough to be able to look at her guest.

Once the words left his mouth she nodded and chuckled at his expression. It was true, she had also realized that it was sort of an unavoidable topic. At least for her, that was the very first time that she met and interacted with another Force-sensitive. Or the first one as far as she was concerned, for if there where many more with his ability to cloak it she probably hadn't realized. "Well...My father also had it. The connection, I mean. He used to be a Jedi but retired some time before meeting my mother. Since he was the one that raised me I knew what it was since moment zero, he taught me what I know but refused to teach anything else. He said it was not his place." Pamnis explained, with patience and complete honesty. "I'd lie if I say I never tried to learn by myself but time became a scarce thing and...I'd never properly met another Force-sensitive before you."

[member="Sol Damerin"]

 

[Sol Damerin]

"No thanks." Sol calls as he heads back to his bag. He strips off his vibroblade harness off, followed by his battle chest piece, and finally his gun belt. He packs it all neatly away in his bag rising up and stretching his hands above his head. Then he ambles back over to the couch this time taking the bag with him and placing it on the coffee table. Settling down he peels off his boots and then stretches out on the couch netting his fingers behind his head. Now in a comfortable position, he listens as he explains everything to him and by the time he is done his expression... is completely unchanged.

The story was a bit odd. Had her father received a force vision? That was the only reason Sol could think of for only half training his daughter. Actually half might be generous. "I was a Jedi Knight, formally trained since birth. Decided I didn't like their doctrine, they may try and tell you different but at their core, the Jedi, the Sith, even the Greys are basically religious organizations. All of them preaching a different way to understand a power greater than themselves and condemning those who don't think the same way to one degree or another. So I guess you could call me a non-denominational force wielder." With considerably more training than her, was this why they'd been thrown together? Could be but he wasn't sure he'd make a good teacher.

[member="Pamnis Hosk"]

 

[Pamnis Hosk]

Pamnis listened to his story. She had never met another Jedi, Schieben never talked much about the order in itself but the doctor couldn't avoid the smile that appeared on her lips as she heard Sol's theory. Her father had insisted on the very same thing for most of her life. That the Force did not have goods or bads, that like everything in life it was up to one to interpret it. That it was a highly personal issue and that neither groups were right in what they claimed and promoted. The Force was one with you, and you were one with the Force, each in his or her own individual manner.

"You know, my father would applaud you for that." she said, thinking about that man she loved so much with a bright shimmering light in her eyes. Soon her attention came back to Sol and she extended on her previous comment, "I don't remember a day in my life in which he did not mention at least once that every person that claimed to understand the Force or the way to use it was speaking nonsense. That's the reason he left, he just realized no one had it right. That there isn't really a way, to get it right. Just...your own way." She explained, looking at him and took a sip of water.

"Growing up a Jedi must have been hard right?"

[member="Sol Damerin"]

 

[Sol Damerin]

"I think I might have liked your father." The man's opinions on The Force, at least the ones Pamnis voiced aloud matched Sol's philosophy almost exactly. However, he didn't believe that those who claimed to understand The Force were speaking nonsense. He did think both The Sith and The Jedi understood a part of it just not the whole thing. He was about to elucidate on this point for Pamnis when she asked her follow up question which distracted him.

"Hard? No, not really not in the way you are thinking of. If I compare it to one person's childhood as the scion of a corporation it could be seen as hard. If I compare it to someone who grew up in a mining colony, I am sure it'd be easy. Pain is relative. I didn't grow up in the lap of luxury but I was never hungry, I was never afraid, and I learned how to defend myself. I had friends, I made fond memories, and lived through it. So really I can't complain so about it." Throughout the entire response, he didn't open his eyes, he just lay there looking comfortable as a rock that had settled down long enough to grow moss.

[member="Pamnis Hosk"]

 

[Pamnis Hosk]

He certainly had won a little of Pamnis' admiration with that answer. She could tell he was being completely honest and he was a thoughtful, relaxed mercenary. A strange thing to see, really. At least according to the opinion she had built thanks to what she had heard of him, he appeared to be wise beyond his years. Pamnis had always had a natural love for learning and discovering, not just in the conventional meanings given to those words. One could learn a lot from observing and listening to others, like she was doing now, just as much as from reading a book or assisting a class. She believed there was a meaning behind most things, the rest was just a matter of patience and interest.

The thought of learning triggered an interesting question into the conscious portions of her mind. "Did you ever take on a padawan during your time as a knight?" she asked, out of curiosity mostly. She remembered having her father mention the way in which Jedi were trained, a system of mentors and apprentices. She didn't know how long Sol had remained in the Order after knighthood, but maybe he did have an apprentice of his own. She had a feeling he would've made a good teacher...as long as he kept his swearing in check in front of the poor kids.

[member="Sol Damerin"]

 

[Sol Damerin]

"My tenure as a knight was brief." Sol says with a sigh as he considers how much detail to go into. "Since I was raised by the order I was allowed to take my trails as soon as I turned eighteen. I passed and was raised to a full knight. I stayed with the order for almost a year after that. However, something happened near the end of the year and it coupled with the doubts I was already having shook my faith in the order enough to get me to leave." Something in his tone shifts during this last part that makes it clear he would not answer a question about what said event was.

Sol had long ago made his peace with his master's death but that didn't mean he'd talk about one of the more traumatic moments in his life with a near stranger. "Why do you ask?" He finally cracks an eye and looks at her. He has a feeling he knows what she is thinking but it pays to ask.

[member="Pamnis Hosk"]

 

[Pamnis Hosk]

The doctor nodded in understanding and did not, nor would not, press on with any more questions as regards that matter. She knew when it was enough and had a decent ability to identify when others were getting close to boundaries they wouldn't cross. Pamnis had hers herself, as everyone. They had only known themselves for a very short while, which meant they probably had more to hide than to show. Even if being of an inherently trusting nature, Pamnis had learn the hard way that the galaxy was not a safe place for people like her, and she needed to either change or show herself very differently to others in order to protect herself.

She looked at him with the same, curious eyes she had held when listening to his story now that he had asked her the reason for her previous question. "Out of curiosity, mainly." she answered, but felt like expanding a little bit more. "My father did mention the manner in which Jedi were trained, an apprentice and a master. He had had a padawan during his time with the Order." She looked at Sol with a small smile, "I get the feeling you would have been a great teacher, though." Pamnis added.

[member="Sol Damerin"]

 

[Sol Damerin]

"That makes one of us." Sol says dryly from his place on the couch. With his inscrutable face and mild tone it was hard to tell if he was joking or not and the answer was partially. It wasn't that Sol thought he was without skill or experience that could be potentially beneficial to someone. He was just unsure if he'd be any good at teaching them. Teaching tended to be a very social thing, you had to get to know your student trust them and have them trust you in turn. Sol had spent most of his life alone and he did not trust easily... Under normal circumstances.

Lately after more than a decade of keeping his secrets and keeping to himself he'd found that he was being drawn into more and more peoples lives. Not unusual for a mercenary but when he was events seemed to conspire so that for one reason or another his ability with the force came out into the open. Pamnis was just one of many recent people to learn what he tried to keep secret and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. He kept to himself because he didn't want to be a target be it for hostilities, recruitment, teaching, or whatever else. Yet if that is what the force wanted from him now...

"But thank you for the endorsement. So your father taught you to heal and then I assume you decided to pursue formal training and now what? You are a wondering surgeon?"

[member="Pamnis Hosk"]

 

[Pamnis Hosk]

She took notice of his lack of agreement with her previous statement about him. She respected it, it was often that one did not agree with the image others adjudicated to some of one's traits or characteristics. Indeed, it was impossible to be seen by others in the exact same way one perceived themselves, the attainable levels of abstraction were just at a too steep difference to make it really possible. Of course, years of getting to know and interacting with the same person allowed for a better interpretation of them, but as far as stranger or acquaintances go, building an opinion of a them was an easier yet far more figurative line of work, one that often committed mistakes and was prey to misunderstandings.


A short laugh was elicited from her chest at his last question. 'Wondering surgeon', she had never thought of it that way even if it fit her profile quite accurately. "Something like that though it was not just my father's doing. I was born and raised aboard a medical frigate so I was bound to become interested in medicine at some point in my life." she said though she did not expand much on it. "So, seeing as how I knew nothing from the galaxy but stories I decided it was time to leave the nest and yes, now I'm a wondering surgeon. Work and travel lifestyle, I guess mercenaries do that too come to think of it."

[member="Sol Damerin"]

 

[Sol Damerin]

That response gets a short laugh from Sol. "Just like how being born and raised on Coruscant gave me a keen interest in city planning." He was fairly certain that her interest had more to do with her father's influence than where she was born or raised. If her father was a healer and wass eager to share that with her then it was no wonder she'd become a surgeon. At the end of the day though it mattered little why she did it, just that she did and Sol respected it. It was an easy thing to end a life, it was far harder to save one. She'd chosen a path of hardship that required both empathy and the ability to shut off her empathy, it was no easy thing.

"I settled on mercenary after leaving the order to travel, you are right it involves a lot of it. For me, it was less about seeing the galaxy and more about staying mobile. I have no desire to explain to the order at large why I left. I also enjoy learning and that is easier to do when you are travelling. I spend a lot of time in libraries reading local works on philosophy and religion. Easier to get those texts on their home planet than it is by staying in one place." That was perhaps a bit more candid than he'd usually be but for whatever reason, they seemed to be sharing and ultimately what he'd shared was harmless.

[member="Pamnis Hosk"]

 

[Pamnis Hosk]

She chuckled a bit. "It does kind of stick with you when your first toys are gauze-made figures and an old, broken stethoscope." Pamnis would never go as far as saying she'd chosen another career had she not been raised aboard the frigate, but at least to her it remained one of the big reasons why she had been so eager to learn the arts of that trade.

"Being on the move often is a good thing. I believe places have the power of changing people, so one shouldn't remain for too long on the same place. At least not until you've found the place where you want to be the most, you place in the galaxy" Of course it was much more easier said than done. Not only because of the fact that the galaxy was immense and even the thought of such an enterprise seemed impossible, but also because she also believed people were often blind to those places where they belong.

"And have you never considered returning to the Order?"

[member="Sol Damerin"]

 

[Sol Damerin]

Sol doesn't give any comment to her statement about finding a place that was for you. It wasn't that he disagreed with it, he did think that people who went out searching for a place they belonged would eventually find one. Most people could offer something that while not unique was helpful and if searched long enough in the galaxy, you'd find a place that needed what you could offer. However, he wasn't looking for such a place. He did not think he'd ever stop travelling because it was when he was exploring the galaxy, seeing new sites, and learning new things that he felt most at home.

"No." He says simply when asked if he ever considered rejoining the order. "Everyone's path on the force is different. For some people the order is where they belong, it is not where I belong. I don't have it in me to practice what they preach. Detachment from the world, rejecting our darker natures, all of that stuff just doesn't make sense to me. A state of harmony is not necessarily a state of peace. To me, it is accepting everything that you are, good and bad. Light and dark. The order doesn't see it that way." His eyes have closed again but a faint smile crosses his features, he loved talking philosophy.

[member="Pamnis Hosk"]