Private What Could Have Been

[Rhia Kesyk]

"You make me nervous" she blabbed before she could really stop herself, an immediate knee-jerk response to his initial comment. Rhia proceeded to bite down hard on the inside of her lip, willing herself to turn back time and pry those words from existence; colour rose within her cheeks instead.​

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He'd taken the same stance she held, and seeing the mirror of it she noticed all the minute failings of her own. She began to make some adjustments, insofar as she could deduce from how he held himself, when his next instruction came. For a moment her expression looked both wary and guarded simultaneously, as though she was trying to figure out if he was toying with her. Waiting for her to shift her position and leave herself open.​

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Then she remembered this wasn't him trying to get one over on her. She'd approached him, she'd initiated this, and he was just accommodating that request. Remaining suspicious of him wasn't fair. They'd already aired everything from the past out.​

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So she took a slight step back and shifted her stance in doing so, adjusting her grip of the hilt as she lifted the blade up to mimic how he'd held it previously. Both hands, back over her head, primed for a downward swipe. She paused a moment, giving him time to critique her stance should he desire it, before she stepped off-center and tried to replicate the way in which he'd turned his body into the strike. The blade came down toward him.​

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Cotan Sar'andor ​

 

[Cotan Sar'andor]

"Relax your elbows," was the only comment he saw fit to give Rhia before she struck. As she started to move towards him, he adjusted the trainer in his grip slightly; normally, in the stance he'd taken, the edge was facing upwards, following perfectly with the movement of the hands up into it. Instead, he let the blade twist counter-clockwise in his grasp, thumb up along the side of the 'hilt,' so that now the edge faced to the left. Then she launched the strike; he stepped off-line to the right as well, the blade quickly whirling around as he shifted to the left-side version of the same guard.

The edge of his weapon now facing his outside line, not inside; Rhia's bokken was pushed aside, away from harming him, while now the tip of his weapon was facing square at her eyes. Moreover, she'd rapidly notice he'd pulled his arms back slightly; had he maintained them further outward, not only would her strike have been parried, but she'd have taken a cut to the side of the head. "See what I was saying? Defense and attack, all in the same movement. I could've cut your head, or I could've moved slightly earlier and taken out your hands, or cut through the hilt of your weapon if these were lightsabers."

Then he pushed forward with the blade, not enough to make it seem like an attack, but just to demonstrate. "Or, from this position, the one I'd automatically take if I had stepped backwards with my left foot rather than forward with my right to generate the body rotation, I can stab at you, or even fully lunge. Or—" He shifted his grip again, tip of the blade raising slightly to come down in a mock-cut at her forehead. "I can cut at you, in more ways than just that. Or I can move forward into grappling techniques, there are options open to me. Open to you, as well, but developing that sort of feeling in the bind to know what to do and when will take you a lot of time."

Rhia Kesyk

 

[Rhia Kesyk]

She slightly relaxed her elbows, as instructed, before mirroring his earlier strike back at him. As she had, he made to block it but rather than simply hold their blades in place or knock hers aside he took it a step further. Though in the heat of the moment she couldn't fully comprehend what he'd done to reach that point, she found her blade pushed aside while the tip of his was now set square in her face. He'd gone beyond mere defense, and put himself into a prime position to land a hit.​

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Had he seen fit to. Instead he held it there, for her viewing pleasure, and she tipped her head back just enough to feel as though she had room to breathe. He went on to explain other ways it might have ended, other options open to him, and as he did so he changed the angle of his blade, or pushed it forward, or-- well, you get the idea. He demonstrated as he went, and Rhia felt somewhat overwhelmed by all of the presented options.​

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It wasn't cut and dry at all, not that she'd ever presumed it was. It was just a lot to take in all at once.​

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"How do you know which way to go with it?" she asked, still staring at the tip of his blade which had stopped just short of her forehead. It really put into perspective how long Cotan had been training this way, because as she stood there before him she couldn't even imagine just how much time and effort she'd have to put in to coming even close to where he was. A long road ahead to be sure...​

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Yet rather than scare her off, she found only a determined resolve rising up within her. This was what she wanted, now she just had to figure out the best way to get it.​

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Cotan Sar'andor ​

 

[Cotan Sar'andor]

"Feeling," came the quick, truthful, and utterly unhelpful answer to her question. Just to demonstrate before elaborating, he pressed into her blade. "Once you actually cross blades, once they meet, then that's when you can tell where to go. Sometimes it's just a fleeting contact as you're moving on into the next cut or thrust. Other times, you're actually in the bind, and then it depends on how hard or soft the other person is. If they're soft in the bind, keep going through into them. If they're hard, then you go soft in a controlled way, wind around their blade, get yourself into the better position."

As he spoke, he drew back, falling naturally into the same middle guard position that Rhia would drop into without his blade holding her own up, turning his edge slightly inward towards hers. "Say I've just cut at you, and you counter-cut, not at me, but at my blade." He tilted his own slightly off the center line, no longer threatening Rhia directly. "If you're quick enough, and you feel that I don't respond fast enough, then you can easily thrust into me after claiming the center line that way. You're hard in the bind, I'm soft, and not in a controlled way. However, if you do that same counter-cut, and I feel you hard in the bind well enough to respond—"

And he twisted his blade up again with a small movement of his feet, right back to where it was over his left shoulder. "I wind around, bring myself up like this. Now the part of your blade where you have the weakest leverage is against where I have the strongest leverage with mine, and I've claimed the center line. I went soft by not directly pushing against your blade, a contest of straight strength, but I still kept control over where we went. Feeling me move like that, though, you could just disengage, or try to go over me as I'm winding up into the higher guard." He drew back again, training blade falling once more.

"It all depends on who is faster and who has the greater skill, both of which generally go hand in hand. And part of that skill is in the feeling, knowing what to do based on sensing your opponent's intention through how they handle their blade, through your sense of touch. Your eyes can deceive you, especially so close in, but your tactile sense won't."

Rhia Kesyk

 

[Rhia Kesyk]

As Cotan began to explain and demonstrate with their blades in a bind, Rhia tried to follow along and get a feel for the pressure he placed here and there against hers. Tilts and twists, softening here and hardening there, she didn't try to push back at all just... observe. Feel.​

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It was a lot to take in.​

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"What if you misjudge?" she inquired softly, "If you both go hard, or soft..?" She felt like she was misunderstanding something. If only she had a written version of what he'd just said to pick apart and make further sense of. Would he laugh at the idea of her wanting to accompany the more hands on lessons with academic theories and the like?​

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And why did she care if he would? Everyone learned differently, after all.​

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"Do you uh, have like, any holobooks on this? I think I understand what you said, but it was a lot and all at once and I worry I'm just as likely to forget it as retain it."​

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Lowering one hand she wiped at her forehead with the back of her wrist before taking a two-handed grip once more. "Can I try putting some of this into practice? Get a proper feel for it..?"​

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Cotan Sar'andor ​

 

[Cotan Sar'andor]

"If both go into it hard, that's just locking up. If both go soft, then they disengage. Otherwise? Well, if you misjudge, you get hurt." Cotan shrugged. It was a bit of a fatalistic outlook, but there really wasn't any other possibility. In any fight, if you make the wrong choice, then you get hurt, or killed. "I've got a ton of holobooks on swordplay in my library, and there's always my holocron. Take your pick of which you want to use." He retreated a couple steps, putting space back between himself and Rhia.

"Unfortunately, there's not much I can do to help you develop that feeling. You already have it, you'll be able to recognize it well enough, it's just a matter of how quickly you recognize it and how well you can train yourself to make the right choice and seize the advantage."

Rhia Kesyk

 

[Rhia Kesyk]

"Oh..."​

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Yeah, that made sense. Truth be told Rhia wasn't even sure why she'd asked it, because it all seemed too obvious now. Still she had a clear answer so that was something, right? The notion that messing up meant death was more than a bit disconcerting, but if nothing else surely it would simply push her to try a little harder.​

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That or avoid battlegrounds...​

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Rhia hadn't ever stepped foot on one, but if the right cause came along would she really stay away? Would Cotan expect her to?​

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"Uh, thank you. I'll take a look and borrow one at a time..." Knowing the theory would be helpful, surely? But then she'd also have to figure out how to put it all into practice. A lot of work, especially for someone who was about to begin their trials, but it was better than heading out there into the Galaxy without a clue what to do.​

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It wasn't exactly peaceful out there, after all.​

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"I understand" she replied, "I'll make sure I keep practicing."​

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There was space between them now, and by this point she'd obviously lowered her arm from the higher guard. She didn't stop the sword though, nor did she entirely drop her guard, instead she held it in a loose ready stance as she pondered everything over.​

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His earlier conditions rang through her mind, a refusal to train her unless she somehow managed to land a hit. Was he trying to wind down the session now? She was all too aware of the fact that she had not, in fact, struck him.​

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Was she willing to let it end like that? To walk out of here having squandered the opportunity to learn from him for the second time in her life? Well, she had learned plenty in the short time they'd been training, but beyond that, even so?​

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With a soft intake of breath and no further words she adjusted her grip of the bokken and stepped into an horizontal slash directed at his right arm, immediately looking to follow it up with a second swipe directed lower toward his knee. Truth be told she knew she probably wasn't playing by the rules, but there wasn't any way she'd manage to land a hit on him without taking him by surprise. Not in just one session, at least.​

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Cotan Sar'andor ​

 

[Cotan Sar'andor]

When Rhia lowered her guard, Cotan lowered his as well, although less into a different guard and more just with the bokken hanging loosely in one hand. He'd already been training before she came in, it was time for him to start thinking of dinner, what little remained to do during the day, all that sort of stuff. He almost sighed when she narrowed her eyes, stepping in and slashing at him again. Rhia's blade stopped a centimeter away from his upper arm, held in place against her attempt either to continue swinging or to pull back.

"Oh no," he said softly. "I cheated!"

The silence stretched for another moment afterwards, before his blank face widened into a grin. "Kid, go get something to eat, take the books you want from my library. You know where my and Asha's apartment is. You can come try to hit me again tomorrow."

Rhia Kesyk

 

[Rhia Kesyk]

For a moment a dejected look flashed across the girl's expression, but that was before Cotan's final statement made its way into the air between them. Tomorrow... He'd let her try again tomorrow? Okay... That she could work with. A soft sigh of relief escaped her before she could hold it back, and then she dipped her head into a low bow after retrieving the blade and returning it to her side.​

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"Tomorrow" she breathed, before collecting up the bokken she'd brought here in order to return them to where they had come from. She made to turn, faltering at the finish line. A gaze was cast over her shoulder. "Thank you..." Words where whispered and fleeting, and then she was gone. Off to find somewhere to chow down.​

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Cotan Sar'andor ​