When Faith Fails Us(Kian Karr/Ask)

[Varus Shatterstar]

Varus didn't look away from his glass as Kian spoke, thinking about what he'd said last about the last the we do in the name of someone. That they shouldn't be meant for things like rage and vengeance, which he had to agree with. That was precisely the reason he'd made certain that it hadn't been the last thing he'd done in Jarrek's memory.

"I burned him to ash and spread those remains across a lake on Naboo as my final thanks to him.", he admitted, raising his glass and finally taking another sip of his drink before lowering it back down and resting his hands, clasping the glass, in his lap. "It was the least I could do, but I could only stand to be there just short of a week. It was too much to think about in a time where I didn't know what to think anyway. It was a simple gesture to leave him where he was born because I knew he didn't want to be on Crosucant for the rest of his life.", he said, looking as solemn as he had for the duration of the conversation.

"I killed that so call "Jedi" because he took the life of a good man... and in my rage I justified that by convincing myself that it was okay to take the life of a bad man. To balance the scales.", he said, glancing up and seeing for the first time in his life the planet Ossus, a pretty planet from afar that was a burned golden color he wouldn't soon forget. He knew, though, that it had been through dark times, well aware of the tales of destruction said to have been waged on that very planet long ago.

"I don't believe that I'm ever going to make a very good Jedi...", Varus finally said as he looked over to Kian with those almost hesitant blue eyes. "...but I'll be a better man than he ever was. I'll help people who truly need it. Those who deserve it. I just can't promise I'll be anything close to what you expect me to be."

[member="Kian Karr"]

 

[Kian Karr]

Kian stopped and listened as [member="Varus Shatterstar"] spoke and he bowed his head in contemplation of the story of what he had done. It was touching and it gave Kian further insight into the young man who would be his apprentice. Kian also took heart in the words that Varus had spoken....they showed signs of remorse and understanding of his actions. The young man continued to doubt his ability to become a Jedi....and yet he continued to show signs of true potential. Not only potential in his connection to the force, but potential in his way of thinking.

Kian stopped his thoughts and looked up when Varus said he doubted he would ever make a particularly good Jedi and Kian shook his head and laughed, the sound coming out in static bursts from his anti-ox mask.

"I don't want you to ever worry about my expectations." Kian said walking back over and standing before Varus, "I want you to worry about your own expectations. Whether or not you achieve vast greatness as a Jedi or you achieve little is not important....what is important is that you strive to do good and to follow the code. We remember all those great Jedi Masters who came and went because of their great deeds....but there were so many others whose names we will never remember. They did good, they helped others. That is at the heart of being a Jedi....fame fades. And expectations can be a dangerous thing because they sew the seeds of doubt." Kian said turning and walking toward the cockpit.

"Do good.....we'll figure the rest out as we go." Kian said smiling beneath his mask and he left the room, leaving Varus to think on things as he saw to their arrival.

~ ~ ~​

​

The ship touched down on the landing pad at the Ossus Jedi Academy and Kian stood in the cockpit looking out the viewport. He'd been gone from the Academy only a few days....but it seemed longer. This place had become his home and whenever he returned here it was with a deep breath of serenity.

"We've arrived at Ossus," Kian into the intercom of the ship, "gather your things and we'll head out." Kian said turning and leaving the cockpit.

[member="Varus Shatterstar"]​

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

---Complete---