Private Wisdom & Experience [Thurion Heavenshield]

[Caedyn Arenais]

Listening to his Father's words, Caedyn stood there initially having to wrap his head around his success in calling forth his father's spirit to his and Thurion Heavenshield 's established environment, a place created through their meditation and connection to one another through the Force, a corporeal space between the physical and spiritual realms, a place where Caedyn had never stood before.

Spend your energy serving the people,
not the past nor seeking to impress those who do not understand you.​

It may have sounded a little blunt but his Father had never shied from telling Caedyn what he needed to hear, even when at times it might have hurt or frustrated him to be spoken to in such a way. In this case, however, Caedyn couldn't argue with the wisdom in the words, giving a hesitant nod in understanding while Thurion found them both and greeted his father as though catching up with an old friend. It sounded to be exactly how things were between them, which made Caedyn smile faintly for what might have been were Veiere still with them in life.

The trials of a Jedi Knight...

Perhaps it had been too soon, and he too young and inexperienced when he had taken on the mantle of Jedi Knight. It hadn't been bestowed upon him like other Jedi but rather he had taken to calling himself one of them following the disappearance of the Je'daii, and several years following in their absence, exploring other Jedi and Je'daii locales alike in search for experience and learning. Perhaps he had been too hasty in his wish to see himself move forward. It had been a trying time and he had felt so lost, much like he did these days.

"I'm not certain I know what I need to do, to help myself..." Caedyn responded, his tone somewhat withdrawn, quiet and uncertain. "Is it too much a selfish thing to wish for a clearly defined purpose, a direction I can follow? I have been hoping for some kind of sign from the Force...-To know where to turn next" he frowned as he spoke, not liking at all how juvenile he likely sounded. Speaking with his father always made him feel like a child, but he had not been able to find the answers on his own.

WolfMortum

 

[WolfMortum]

"Look around you Caedyn, the Galaxy is in a state of affliction".

Everywhere one would look, they would see the need for a compassionate and generous soul willing to help others, or to repair what's been broken with time. War and conflict were not the only means of serving the Galaxy, nor walking the Jedi Path, violence in fact forever led to further violence through retaliation or resentment from those having lost their loved ones amidst the collateral damage. There was always collateral.

"You have already received some good advice, the things you seek will come with time and patience, but most assuredly faith in the Force and in yourself. Don't try to rush your way through life, you may have expectations but everyone walks at their own pace. Accept what is, and allow it to be".

Veiere stood there looking upon the pair, the young Caedyn Arenais and the wise Thurion Heavenshield , a smile broaching his lips as he was gladdened for the reunion, however short it had to be. This was his Son's first time communicating with someone who had passed on and already Veiere could sense his strength was waning. Fortunately, the answers Caedyn sought had already been found, he merely needed to shake his insecurities and impatience to realize it.

"My time is up for now, but as I said before, these are your lessons and trials to overcome. I have no doubt you will find your stride once again. Remember that the Force is always with you, as is your Mother and I. Look after your Sister, Caedyn, and trust in yourself".

Veiere would then look to Thurion, and bow to the Jedi Master in respect and farewell, his form soon to dissipate back into the spiritual world.

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Thurion returned the bow to his old friend and fellow Jedi Master, knowing the time had come. One can only maintain connection in the spirit realm for so long before your mind and body gives in to the significant strain, and though they may be everlasting in the Netherworld of the Force, the spirits themselves likewise cannot maintain their physical appearance indefinitely.

"Farewell, my friend. I will give Coci your love. May the Force keep you."

Turning to the young Jedi Knight as his side, he took him by the arm, telling him "It's time," before walking past him and away until he too faded from view, leaving Caedyn Arenais to bid his departed father farewell. "When you are ready, simply close your eyes and think of home. Your spirit will know the way." He would await his return to the world of the living.

Back within his home on Midvinter, Thurion's body took a deep breath as he roused himself from his self-imposed trance, looking across to the still body of Caedyn. Though he could not know what last words the lad shared with his late father, he hoped they included "I love you". The dead require closure same as the living.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Thurion Heavenshield had been considerate enough to give Caedyn and WolfMortum a private moment to say farewell, at least for the time being in any case. With the Jedi Master having left the two of them, Caedyn looked back to Veiere and nodded appreciatively; "Thank you for answering my call, Father" he said gratefully, "And...-I never got the chance to tell you before...-Well, everything that happened back then, I forgive you".

The look Caedyn was offered in return came with no words from his Father, yet the love and appreciation were there between them both. Caedyn had held resentment for Veiere for many years during the Master's life. Veiere's fall to the Darkside had made victims of many people and their family had been among them, but now...-So much had changed and Veiere was no longer with them in life, only in spirit.

When Veiere returned to the Force, and the Nether swallowed him whole, Caedyn found himself left to his own. This place that he and Thurion had created together in the Force, was like nothing the Jedi Knight had experienced before, let alone speaking with the deceased as he had. This place lay somewhere between the living and the afterlife, a spiritual purgatory of sorts, darkness surrounding him and yet still free to leave when he wished, as Thurion had instructed how.

When Caedyn did eventually awaken from his meditation, his eyes opened and he had to take a moment to familiarize himself with the real world once again. The trace had been deeper than he had ever entered into before. "That was...-Most unusual" he remarked aloud, looking across to Thurion and smiling warily, not quite knowing how to put the experience to words.

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Sensing Caedyn's consciousness return even before the young man's body showed signs of it, Thurion let out a faint sigh; thankful that he'd not lost himself in the spirit realm as some are prone to do, their first time especially. If such had been the case, he would have had to delve back in to quickly pull him back into the material realm, else risk losing the son of Veiere to the Living Force and leaving behind only an empty husk of a body.

"Gently now," he reached across to steady Caedyn by his shoulders. "You're bound to feel a bit woozy the first time around. You've quite the strong mind to reach into the Netherworld and come out no worse for wear. Not many knights are able to boast of such feats."

His large palm cupped the lad's cheek, giving it a soft pat and a proud smile. "You did well, son. I knew you would."

Helping Caedyn Arenais to his feet, Thurion then stepped over towards the lone pedestal where the box sat, glancing down at it before turning to the young man. "You now know the basic steps to take in order to commune with the spirits of the fallen. The next time you attempt this, you'll be on your own without me to yank you back into reality should you lose yourself. Do not use this technique lightly, Caedyn."

He nodded, making sure he'd understood. Thurion then finally unveiled what lay inside the wooden box given such reverence within the meditation chambers. A yellow glow highlighted his features as he plucked the palm-sized cube from its resting place, holding it up for Caedyn to see for himself.

"This is the holocron of Jedi Master Asha Seren, the woman you saw me with. She was my master growing up as a young padawan in the waning days of the Republic. Years after her unfortunate passing, I received this holocron, and through it I was able to uncover the ability to speak with spirits past. To see her again..."

Caught on the warm glow of the holocron for a moment, Thurion frowned and put it back into its box, closing the lid shut.

"It is too easy to dwell on the past, comfortable and nostalgic as it is, but one mustn't forget to look to the future while enjoying the present. I have lived a long life; indeed longer than most Jedi do in these times of chaos. For so long I looked back at my youth with anger and sorrow, kicking myself for not being strong enough, not powerful enough. These days, I am only reminded of the good stuff. Many of these involved Master Asha."

A soft hand upon Caedyn's back, he motioned for them to exit the meditation chambers now that their task was completed.

"Now, I am well in my sixties. I have four children, five grandchildren, and I've been happily married for over 30 years. I have no more aspirations, whereas you, my boy..." He gave him a playful nudge, grinning as they reached the stairs to descend into the living room where the hearth was yet lit, implying he had his whole life ahead of him.

"Did your father's words grant you the wisdom you sought?"

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"It's difficult to know for certain...".

Caedyn spoke softly, his mind and body feeling fatigued, drained of its strength and it showed as he followed Thurion Heavenshield out into the living room, seeking the comfort of the nearest chair in order to take the weight off of his legs, his left hand rising to run his fingers through his hair and clear his fringe from his eyes.

"My father didn't exactly tell me anything I haven't heard before".

Veiere had sounded so sure of himself, that his words were true beyond a doubt. He had mentioned not allowing oneself to get so caught up in what others believed of him, and even went so far as to disregard the notion of legacy. Something that he had been proud of in life. Now in death, his Father must have seen things that Caedyn couldn't, something he could only attribute to the wisdom of the Force itself.

"It sounded as though he believes I need to pace myself and stop concerning myself with the mindset of others so much. Perhaps he was implying the state of the Jedi, something that's been on my mind a lot of late".

Caedyn held a Holocron similar to Thurion's back home on Mnemosyne, that of his Father's. He had looked into some of what it contained yet hadn't been able to concentrate for long as the appearance of the Gatekeeper had only reminded him of his Father's passing. That was some time ago now, time that had passed and perhaps changed how Caedyn felt of things, now that he had spoken with his Father. It was an option he would consider if he failed to meet the needs of his own accord and with the support of Jedi like Thurion and Jend-Ro Quill .

"What do you call that state, that place that we entered within meditation...-I don't think I've ever been able to establish an entire environment and state of being...-If that's even what we just achieved. I'm not sure I can describe how that felt...".

Looking back to Thurion, Caedyn's gaze held an intrigued glance before turning back to the unlit hearth thoughtfully. As the Jedi Master hadn't lit the mantle, Caedyn decided it was only the considerate act to do so for them both.

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

"There is name in the native tongue of my people for when fallen warriors are in the process of being delivered to the golden halls of the Allfather. That state-of-being, between the realm of the living and the great beyond, we call the rangárvellir. In Basic, it translates into the Crossing. An apt name for it, I think."

As in crossing a vast ocean, leaving behind all worldly possessions and struggles to reach the other side. The Valkyri were great seafarers, after all.

Evident that Caedyn Arenais had been given a lot to ponder, Thurion stepped forward one foot at a time.

"You know, your parents' fates... any decisions they made right until the end... none of it was your fault. Not yours, nor Loreena's."

Closing the gap between them, the towering elder clasped Caedyn's cheeks, recognising the blue eyes that once belonged to his father.

"It's easy to blame yourself for the death of a parent. I certainly did. But they'll always be a part of you; you need only find your reflection and there they are, staring right back at you. I just want you to know... If there is anything you or your sister need, I want to be there for you. Your father was as a brother to me. That makes you family, and nothing is more important to me than taking care of my family."

Whether Caedyn liked it or not, Thurion was going in for that fatherly embrace. One does not simply refuse the Heavenshield Hug.

"You're going to be alright, kid. You'll be okay." Words any lost young man need to hear from time to time.

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"The Crossing" Caedyn repeated to himself, nodding lightly and looking back to Thurion Heavenshield with a small smile, "Thank you, Master, for all your help and inviting me into your home like this," he said appreciatively.

For Caedyn Arenais this wasn't something he was accustomed to, unlike the relationship between Thurion and his father, Veiere. Caedyn had approached Thurion for what he knew of the Jedi Master, and the little experience they'd shared together in the past. He knew Thurion to be a truly gifted Jedi and a good man, but the strength between their families hadn't been revealed until now.

"I held a lot against my Father for the longest time while he was alive" Caedyn admitted, the subject of blame surrounding his parents' death causing the Jedi Knight to disclose what was arguably his biggest regret in life; "Veiere's fall to the Darkside wounded a lot of people, resulting in an attack on Commenor's Capital City as well as the fall of the Deneba Enclave. I couldn't find it in myself to forgive him, despite calling myself a Jedi".

Caedyn and Veiere had thankfully had the opportunity to set things at ease with the recent experience of entering the crossing as Thurion referred to it. He had been able to tell his Father that he had forgiven him for the past, those few words taking a weight off of his shoulders that he'd been carrying for far too long. "Thanks to you I was able to tell him that I was sorry," Caedyn said, a grateful smile once more being offered to the Jedi Master for his help in the matter.

"I realize there are far worse fates than being uncertain of your direction in life or the future ahead. I don't mean to be melodramatic" Caedyn added, explaining himself a little after Thurion having told him that he'd be fine. It wasn't as though Caedyn was dying or anything, he knew that well and true, he had just wanted for some sense of guidance and indication that he was on the right track as a Jedi. That and what the next steps were from there.

"I need to stop expecting more of myself, to learn to be patient and to let each day pass naturally" Caedyn concluded, though it sounded as though he was more reminding himself than expressing the fact to Thurion; "Whatever comes next will find me when it's time, as the Force wills".