Private Within Reason

[Silas Westgard]

Location: Azbrian,Westgard homestead
Objective: Relax
Tag: Valery Noble

It was coming to that kind of year where the green plains of Azbrian were replaced by a white sheet that covered the planet in its cold embrace. The thought itself was an indication to prepare for the winter, one of which Silas was looking to be well prepared for. After all, he wasn't just doing it for himself but for the Jedi who used his homestead to heal. They needed warmth, not a bitter cold that could possibly freeze them to death. The last thing he wanted was the council to be on his back for negligence, especially with the Collete situation hanging over his head like an anvil ready to fall.

Crunching through the snow, he steadily shifted his way to the front porch lit by two lanterns. On his back was a backpack full of wood which he had picked up from the nearest settlement only an hour away. Silas still had some logs to cut but now and then he'd go to the nearest village to grab a surplus, which was more so used for emergencies if something went horribly wrong. Either way, he was home now and all the knight wanted to do was kick his feet up and have a sip of some nice whiskey.

Silas dumped the backpack on the porch and reached into his pocket to find his keys. However, when he finally lifted them to the lock something didn't seem right. The silence was common, but what he was sensing wasn't. The young knight couldn't put his finger on it, and with a possible trap in mind, he hesitantly opened the door and walked inside.

The house was dark and deadly silent other than the odd creaking of the floorboards "Hello?" he called out into the house, to which there was no answer. Looking at all the doors that were shut and keeping the silence in mind he finally seemed to loosen up.

Sighing deeply, he slowly shook his head and ran a hand down his face in annoyance at the fact he was making himself crazy. It was clear paranoia had gotten the better of him after thinking about it a little deeper. So, with no further doubt in his mind, Silas finally opened the door and turned on the light...​

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[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

"You look tired, Silas," Valery said as soon as the lights turned on, her voice soft to not startle him too much. She had arrived at the homestead unannounced, knowing he might not have shown up otherwise. From what she heard recently, he was going through a difficult time, and the fact he hadn't even reached out to her, was troubling. When he was still her Padawan, she always felt like he'd talk to her if something was up.

She hoped to bring that back, no matter what was going on.

"I'm sorry if I startled you, but I'd like to talk." She offered that warm smile he was used to seeing, and gestured for another seat in the room. If she wanted him to talk, she needed to show him that she was open to listening. Without immediate judgment and without her drawing conclusions before learning all the details.

As always, she wanted to help.

Silas Westgard ​

 

[Silas Westgard]

Location: Azbrian,Westgard homestead
Objective: Relax
Tag: Valery Noble

Visibly jumping back slightly, the knight almost jumped out of his skin in the first few moments. It took him a few moments, but after seeing it was just Valery sitting in the chair he sighed deeply "Valery? I didn't see a holo message of you planning to visit..." he said while at the same time dodging the tired comment. She was right after all, Silas on the other hand didn't want to admit how mentally drained he had felt lately.

Moving over further into the living room, he slowly began to take off his snowflake covered jacket. However, when Valery mentioned that she wanted him to sit down and speak with him it was pretty obvious what it was going to be for. The ever annoying Colette had probably spoken to Valery about his behavior in the last few assignments they had been together. To say the least, Silas wasn't in the mood to on the subject, something which was reflected by the sudden dumping of his jacket on top of the table.

"No, I'm afraid not." he said at first, his tone stern and authoritative compared to the warm tone she was using "I'd rather not speak of Jedi matters tonight..."

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[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

"I'm not giving you a choice," Valery said, her tone warm but she still spoke with authority, "I think you'll feel better to get some things off your chest and to actually address your problems. Running away or hiding from them is why you're so tired." She looked him up and down and couldn't help but frown. She had been so proud when she knighted him because he always acted like a true Jedi. He was calm, confident, kind, and compassionate. He had a good head on his shoulders and never shied away from helping anybody.

What had changed to make him so different?

"Please, sit down." Valery gestured to the seat in front of her. Between it and her own chair stood a small coffee table, where a can of hot tea was waiting. No matter how serious a conversation could be, she wanted him to feel welcome. To feel that he could be open with her and find a solution.

This wasn't about scolding him — this was about helping him.

Silas Westgard ​

 

[Silas Westgard]

Location: Azbrian,Westgard homestead
Objective: Reason with Valery
Tag: Valery Noble

"Nothing is wrong with me!"

Silas responded directly, his head lowering slightly from the fact he had raised his voice to a person he respected so deeply "If I was so concerned with my well being, I would have consulted with you first Valery. I am fine, regardless of what anyone else says..." he continued, regarding what he suspected to be the source of this meeting.

Even through his hesitancy to comply with her orders, Valery still asked him to sit down. Silas stared silently at her for a few moments with no expression, untelling of what he was going to say or do. It was only when he started slowly moving to the seat beside her did she finally realized that he was still willing to talk on the issue. If it was anyone else he would have asked them to leave the house by now, but considering this was his former master Silas had no choice but to listen.

Sitting down, he leaned back in the chair and glared into the room in front of him in deep thought "If this is what I think this is about, nothing out of tone has been done"
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[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

"If nothing was wrong, you wouldn't respond with this much emotion." Her tone was still soft, calm, and composed. She knew Silas and nothing about this was anything like him. He never raised his voice, and he was one of the better Jedi when it came to emotional control. Whatever was happening, it was almost shocking to her, but she was careful not to show her feelings at all. The only thing she wanted him to know, was that she was here to listen.

To help.

"If this is what I think this is about, nothing out of tone has been done."

"Are you trying to convince me, or are you trying to convince yourself of that?" Valery asked, "If you feel a need to say that before I've even said a word, you already know that it's not true." She paused for a moment, giving him a chance to protest or hopefully agree with her, and feel more open to be honest.

He'd know that lying to his former Master would never be convincing.

"What happened is behind us, Silas. I just want to know why."

Silas Westgard ​

 

[Silas Westgard]

Location: Azbrian,Westgard homestead
Objective: Reason with Valery
Tag: Valery Noble

Being a padawan to a master for so long allowed them to understand even the smallest details about them. Valery knew well that Silas was not the kind of person to raise his voice, nor a Jedi who didn't have his feelings in check regarding the Jedi line of work. Even with that being known, Silas didn't believe anything was wrong with him. Colette had been overreacting, nothing he did in those missions was disputable. The pirates had to die, it was the least they deserved.

"No, because I could see this coming a mile away after my last assignment with Collete. I don't need to convince you or myself of something that I believe is right."

Finally looking back to Valery, his normally warm stare was replaced with something more colder. Silas was serious with every word and it didn't look like anyone was going to convince him otherwise right now "And you ask why?" he said with almost a bit of surprise in his stern tone "They are mindless vermin whose sole mission is to take away other peoples dreams to try and satisfy their fruitless life."

"If you think they are worth saving, then I don't know what to say to you, Valery."​

 

[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

"Do you even hear yourself? You refer to people as mindless vermin..." She hoped he hadn't already forgotten how sacred life was to a Jedi, and that taking a life was to be prevented whenever possible. But something told Valery that he wouldn't listen to basic reasoning — his lessons and upbringing both within and outside the Jedi.

Something was terribly wrong.

"What about Kahlil?" Valery asked after a moment, "Was he not worth saving either? Do you look at our children and think it was a mistake that he was given a chance to redeem himself?" If he already believed simple pirates to be mindless vermin in need of slaughter, how would he feel about Sith who committed far worse crimes?

In this case, she decided to play a more personal card.

"You've never thought like this before, Silas. What changed?"

Silas Westgard ​

 

[Silas Westgard]

Location: Azbrian,Westgard homestead
Objective: Reason with Valery
Tag: Valery Noble

"Because they are, Valery. They do not care about anyone, nor the pain they inflict on people's lives..." for these kinds of people, Silas made an exemption. He despised what they stood for to the core and had held onto this belief even before joining the Jedi. The way they tore his family apart and treated him like a maul for three made the hatred almost ingrain into his soul. All he wanted was to destroy every last one of them till there was no more.

Shaking his head, Silas was in disbelief that she'd make such a comment "Don't you dare make that assumption" he said at first with a hint of anger in his tone "Kahlil was always a good man at heart who repented for the actions he was forced into. Do you really think I'd look at your children and really consider that he deserved to die Valery?" Silas questioned, his body language looking more tense than before "Nothing has changed, or what I think of you or your family"

Pirates and Sith had many similarities that could almost put them in the same group. However, only one of them could be reasoned with. Siths could be rehabilitated and made to see the error of their ways. while pirates always had that burning greed inside that never went away, one that was desperate to reemerge and ruin another life at a moment's notice.

"Pirates on the other hand, I will never forgive them for what they've done..."​

 

[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

"What have they done, Silas?" Valery asked, choosing to ignore everything else to ask this question. The answer to it was the source of all this emotion and his lack of reason that led him to compare ordinary pirates to Sith Lords who raided and even destroyed entire planets. There had to be something there.

Something deeply personal.

"You were there during the Second Great Hyperspace War when Sith Lords destroyed entire planets. They killed billions, but you still believe there's redemption for them, but none for pirates? Most pirates just steal, loot, and manipulate people. They're terrible, but they're not mass murderers."

"What did they do to you?" she asked, her tone firm but also gentle — caring, as it always was for the people she loved. Silas, even now in his emotional state, was someone she'd always care deeply for.

Silas Westgard ​

 

[Silas Westgard]

Location: Azbrian,Westgard homestead
Objective: Reason with Valery
Tag: Valery Noble

Silas didn't answer at first, he instead chose to listen to Valery who was trying to find out why he held so much hatred for them. Sith did kill billions of people with no remorse to fuel their passion for destruction throughout the galaxy, barely anything else could top that. However, when a catastrophe so personal impacts your life you cannot stop your emotions from making that the worst thing to happen in your existence. Silas was no exception, and for the longest time, it had been burning him up inside.

"Everything, Valery."

He responded in a lowered voice, almost as if it took a lot just to mutter those words to her. Slowly getting up from the chair he took a few steps to the window and looked outside into the darkness beyond the homestead. Silas remembered what they did like it was yesterday, how they destroyed his family and took him into their world. Valery knew about what happened to his parents, but not what happened in the aftermath.

"In one day they destroyed everything I loved and left me nothing but a hollow shell. Even after the pain they had caused me, They thought a force sensitive kid like me shouldn't go to waste, so they took me in against my will to see if they could use my powers for their gain" Silas said solemnly in deep thought, his gaze not moving from the window "At first, it was simple things like carrying loot back from the raids they did on ships and villages. But, as more time went on they began to use for their more extreme methods."

"Ones that included violence an-" stopping himself in momentary disbelief, he finally spat out the words "And death..."
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[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

Valery's heart tightened as she listened to Silas' words, and she could see the weight of each painful memory reflected in his eyes. When he mentioned the word "death," she took a slow, calming breath and approached him cautiously, her expression filled with empathy.

"Silas… what do you mean by death?" she asked softly, her tone careful and deliberate. "Did this happen in the past? Or did they kill people recently?" she asked.

She paused then, giving him time to process and respond. "I ask because why are these memories coming up so strongly now? You've been through so much already, but I've never seen this struggle surface so intensely before." Something had to have happened recently, right? New attacks? Or did certain memories resurface?

"Did anything happen?"

Valery watched him intently, hoping that talking about it would help him confront whatever darkness these memories had dragged to the surface. She needed to understand to help him work through it.

"You don't have to carry this alone, Silas. I'm here to help."

Silas Westgard ​

 

[Silas Westgard]

Location: Azbrian,Westgard homestead
Objective: Reason with Valery
Tag: Valery Noble

The more Valery tried to get through to him, the more her former padawan seemed to get more tense about the whole thing. Since everything happened Silas refused to talk about it again in fear of this emotion, and now that things had come ahead things were bubbling out of control "Just shut up alright?!" Silas snapped again, his head turning to look at her with a cold glare that he had never done before. He had already gone deeper than he wanted, and now he just wanted to stop this situation altogether.

"I was made to kill and injure people while I was with those scum, is that what you wanted to hear?" Silas hissed as he made his way back to her. The real reason he was reacting like this stemmed from the missions with Colette who for sure told Valery how he had no hesitation in striking them down with no mercy. They killed families and used kids as hostages, in Silas's books they deserved to die with no second chance "If you think I'm going to let them put other people through the same pain, then you're wrong. Anyone in my shoes would do the same, including you Valery."

"What if they did the same to your family, how would you feel?"
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[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

Valery remained calm, even as Silas snapped at her. She could see the pain and anger boiling beneath the surface, but instead of recoiling, she took a steady breath and stood her ground, her expression soft but resolute.

"Silas," she began gently, her voice unwavering, "I know how much it hurts. And I know what it feels like to want revenge."

She hesitated for a moment, her gaze softening as memories flickered in her eyes. "I thought I lost my husband because of the Empire, remember? I watched as he stood his ground and believed for years that he was gone… murdered by Imperials for protecting me after I was shot down and badly wounded. It nearly consumed me, too — the anger, the hatred. It made me want to lash out… to hurt them the way they hurt me."

Valery took a step closer, holding his gaze firmly. "But I couldn't let those emotions control me. I had to remember who I am and what I stand for. I had to find a way to keep my promise to myself — to be better than the darkness they tried to push me into."

Her expression turned more serious, but still gentle. "What you did to stop them… I understand why you did it. You wanted to protect people from going through the same pain. But don't let it consume you. "

"Don't let them change you, Silas because this isn't you." He had never yelled at her like this or lashed out like this before. She hoped he'd realize as much.

Silas Westgard ​

 

[Silas Westgard]

Location: Azbrian,Westgard homestead
Objective: Reason with Valery
Tag: Valery Noble

Silas looked at Valery and through those seconds of her speaking, his expression seemed to soften up. Valery had gone through the same thing he did with Kahlil, who was probably the person she loved the most other than her own kids. However, there was something noticeably different compared to Silas's experience. Kahlil was able to be revived and returned to his family, Silas's parents on the other hand were still a pile of ash in a grave on Azbrian.

Valery got to experience the love she had again, but Silas never did.

The hands of Silas clenched as his face turned into one of distrust "No, you're only saying this because Kahlil is still with you now..." he muttered at first before switching back into a more direct tone. "I've had to hang onto the memory of my parents for almost ten years, hoping one day they'd just appear and embrace me like they did when I was a child. You on the other hand have only experienced a mere taste of what I've had to go through half of my life before it all went away, do you really think it's fair to tell me what should and not be feeling?!"

Leaning forward slightly, his voice lowered to make a point.

"I know who I am, Valery. You're the one who doesn't know me."

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[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

Valery's expression softened as she listened to Silas's words, his pain evident in every strained syllable. She allowed a moment of silence to pass between them, respecting the depth of his feelings. When she finally spoke, her voice was gentle but unwavering.

"You're right, Silas," she admitted softly. "I haven't lived your exact experiences, and I can't pretend to fully grasp the weight of your loss. It wasn't my intention to diminish your pain or tell you how to feel."

She took a cautious step closer, her gaze never leaving his. "But I do understand what it feels like to be consumed by grief and anger. I know how those emotions can twist inside you, making you feel isolated and misunderstood. That's why I'm concerned."

Valery's eyes searched his, earnest and filled with empathy. "I'm not here to judge you or dictate your emotions. I care about you, and I don't want to see you lose yourself to this darkness. You're stronger than you realize, and you don't have to carry this burden alone."

She hesitated for a moment before continuing. "Maybe I don't know you as well as I thought, but I want to. Let me help you, not as your Master telling you what to do, but as someone who cares deeply about your well-being."

Silas Westgard ​

 

[Silas Westgard]

Location: Azbrian,Westgard homestead
Objective: Reason with Valery
Tag: Valery Noble

Silas's eyes looked into Valery's as she expressed her concern, ones that were exhausted and stressed.

For a long time, he had let the frustration and anger inside of him grow without invention, now it had got to the point where it was changing him in ways that he'd never imagined. This was reflected in his desire to find the individuals who killed them, as well as punish those who were even related to them in the slightest. Leaving them to rot in a cell wouldn't serve them any justice, many deserved to die for the crimes they had committed and more of Silas had anything to say about it.

"Valery, I know you are trying to do what's best for me but I need to do this by myself..." he said with a small sigh, his emotional gaze still on hers "I will only get closure from all this when the scum who killed my parents face justice. They still breathe air they don't deserve, that in itself makes my blood boil" Silas explained with more venom in his tone than before "If I hear that they've done the same to someone else the guilt I feel will be far worse than what I'm feeling now. I can make things right Valery, no matter what it takes to get there."

If he asked Valery to help in this ordeal all she would do was slow him down. She has always been by the book, a shining example of what a Jedi should be. Silas on the other hand, wanted to make exemptions and bring his own judgment upon them like a rogue.

"Please, just don't get in my way."
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[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

Valery's expression shifted, the weight of Silas's words pressing down on her like a heavy burden. His tone was venomous, the anger bubbling beneath the surface, but it wasn't anger that cut through her — it was the deep pain that fueled it. She took a slow breath, steadying herself, but her eyes never left his. There was no judgment there, only concern and compassion.

"I understand wanting justice, Silas," she began quietly, stepping closer but still keeping her distance, "But the path you're on... it's dangerous. Not because of what you feel, but because of what you might become if you let this consume you." Her voice trembled slightly, her own memories of battles with darkness flooding her mind, but she pressed forward.

"You want to make things right — I respect that. But if you go down this path alone, letting anger fuel your decisions, the line between justice and revenge will blur." She paused, letting her words sink in. "And that's a line that, once crossed, changes you in ways you might not realize until it's too late."

Her voice softened, but her intensity remained. "I won't stand in your way, Silas. I care about you too much for that. But I won't let you walk into this blind either. If you push away those who care about you... you'll find yourself isolated in your fight, and that's exactly what the darkness wants."

Silas Westgard ​

 

[Silas Westgard]

Location: Azbrian,Westgard homestead
Objective: Reason with Valery
Tag: Valery Noble

Even through the anger he was showing, Valery still kept at his side. It was what a true master did, keeping with their padawans no matter the storm or consequences. Any other person probably would have left him by now to suffer in silence, especially after pushing them away. But admirably, she kept strong, only showing a hint of emotion in her words when it was needed to show that she cared.

Silas's face slowly changed from one of malice to empathy, He didn't want to push anyone away from his new family. They had been nothing but supportive of his new journey, if he chose to do what Valery predicted he'd just be worse off than he was before joining the Jedi. However, Silas couldn't remove the hatred that was still burning inside of him from that fact alone. All the young knight wanted was to end this cycle of anger, no matter how long it took.

"Tha- that is not my intention. You are my family, I wouldn't dream of casting any of you aside" Silas quietly muttered with a frown "I just want closure, Valery, my mind will not rest until it is fulfilled." he explained, sorrow plain to see in his expression "My ancestors have already made the mistake of following their emotions and abandoning the reasoning of their loved ones."

Silas said, a stark revelation coming to mind as he looked at his master in shame.

"A true Westgard isn't like that, we are meant to be brave and unwavering in what we believe in. Yet, I have proven to be neither of those things"
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[Valery Noble]

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Outfit: Factory Link | Wedding Ring
Weapons: Double-Bladed Lightsaber

Valery's heart ached as she watched Silas struggle with the storm of emotions roiling inside him, her gaze soft but unyielding. She understood the desire for closure, for justice, but the way he framed his own struggles — feeling like he wasn't living up to what it meant to be a Westgard — pierced her deeply.

"Silas," she said softly, stepping even closer now, her tone full of warmth, "You are brave, and you are unwavering in what you believe in." She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, meeting his gaze with unwavering support. "But being brave doesn't mean you can't feel. It doesn't mean you won't have moments of doubt, or that you won't hurt. You've faced so much already, and through it all, you've stayed true to your principles."

She paused, taking a deep breath. "The desire for closure is natural, and I won't tell you to bury those feelings. But you're not alone in this. We're your family, and we'll be with you every step of the way. It doesn't make you weak to lean on us — it makes you stronger."

She paused again and let out a soft breath, "For closure, I can help you confront your past. And we can do so without having to lose ourselves."

Silas Westgard ​