Yet Another Path

[Anora Vahn]

A sigh passed through Anora's lips, and she shook her head. Both of her hands lifted so that she could rake her fingers through her hair, and then they dropped limply back to her sides. "As I said, it would be no one's choice but Eenia's." she let out. "And knowing her the way that I did-" she was wise enough not to say 'do', all things between them considered. "She wouldn't go for it unless it could all be removed."

But honestly, Anora hadn't come here to talk about Eenia. Granted, she wasn't against the subject of her sister being brought up, but she had merely come here to make sure said sister's property was to go back to her. And yet here she was, given a place to stay again. It was almost as if she had never left - almost.

"I have no idea what I'm doing anymore." she finally admitted, changing the subject from her sister. There was never much beating around the bush from Anora, and clearly that hadn't changed. "Its as if everything finally falls into place, and as soon as I begin to settle? It all gets uprooted and I have to start all over again..."


[member="Josh Dragonsflame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

A sigh passed his own lips as well at that. “I figured” He admitted. “Most never do. They always ask for a full memory wipe… And after what happened the last time I did that, I’m never doing that again.”

To admit his own vulnerabilities, his own failures, his own fears, like that… It was rough, but somehow, someway, he felt he could trust her with that. Even if little reason had been given for why he did, or why he should. But as he had, Anora seemed to find it time to just be honest and speak her mind. He listened intently, nodding his head in turn. “Ditto on that” He admitted, running a hand through his hair a bit, roughly. It occurred to him that Anora probably knew as little about him, as he likely knew about her. He didn’t open up much anymore. But he did want to help her. Someway, somehow.

“I don’t know if we can help you, but we can certainly try” He spoke up softly. “You’re free to stay here with us until you’ve figured it out.”

[member="Anora Vahn"]

 

[Anora Vahn]

It was painstakingly difficult for the young woman who always had a plan to admit that she didn't have one now. But it was true. Anora had no idea what she was doing anymore. Her life had changed courses so many times over the last few years that she really just didn't have a clue. Admittedly, she had honestly felt as if she had found her place with Tyran, but clearly that hadn't been the case at all. If it had been, she wouldn't be standing here now, after all.

The brunette sighed, but she nodded her head and laid her hands against her hips with her gaze cast down somewhere between her feet and Josh's.

"Well," she started after a beat or two of silence. "At least here I can't get into any trouble." Which was entirely not true. If anyone could get into trouble here, it was Anora. But that was why the comment was meant to be humorous.


[member="Josh Dragonsflame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

Well, it wasn’t like she wasn’t alone in that respect. Many times over his lifetime he’d been forced to just wing it and hope for the best. He had plans, and those plans tended to go down the toilet. As was part of life. But when one plan was shot down, there was always an opportunity to start work anew, and find a new plan. Even if one had to wing it for a little while until they knew what to do.

He smirked lightly when she said at the least she couldn’t get into trouble. He doubted that, and he knew that she didn’t mean it either. Looking at his comms, he nodded his head as he looked to her.

“Your quarters are ready, let’s go” He spoke up, stretching out as he began to lead the way. “If you need me to help with any sort of re-training, you probably still have my contact. If not… Eh, I’m sure you can find me” He added with a shrug of his shoulders. He was a mountain, according to the Padawans. He probably wouldn’t be that hard to find.

[member="Anora Vahn"]

 

[Anora Vahn]

"That was fast..." Anora let out, and yet she honestly wasn't surprised. Its not like they didn't know who she was after all. She fell into step once again out of old habit, and didn't even need to look around as she did so. It had been a couple of years since she had been within these walls and yet she could remember her way around if told or asked to go somewhere, she was sure of it.

When Josh brought up training, the brunette made a noise in her throat. "Physically, I've kept up with my training. And then some." she stated with a shake of the head. Tyran had made sure to push her beyond her limits, and then push her some more from there constantly. She had learned things out there that she would have never learned here, but the opposite was true as well. "Force training however," her head shook again, "It was pretty much just physical training." She had most definitely slacked off and did the bare minimum when it came to using the Force. She had been tired of hearing how it was her crutch, and for a while had stopped consciously using it at all.

"Nightmares however made damn sure that I at least meditated and stretched that connection from time to time." she added as an after thought.


[member="Josh Dragonsflame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

"Well we work fast when we can actually sense the person" He joked in turn. He listened as she detailed that yes, she had kept up her physical training and then some, so he just shrugged his shoulders in turn. Her Force training though, it seemed like it was something that still left something to be desired. The fact was, anyone could train you physically. But to train in the Force was something that if you needed guidance, well... That pool was a little more narrow, and learning how to train yourself was a little harder. If anything, learning to train in the Force was more of an accomplishment than to learn to train physically.

"Like I said, if you want my help, then let me know. I suppose at the least I can help you get back on your feet in your use of it."

At least she hadn't entirely slacked, though it seemed her Force training had been relatively minor. He would have taught her better to train herself, but he hadn't been given the time. This was the sort of thing that took a lot of time and a lot of patience. But it was worth it.

[member="Anora Vahn"]

 

[Anora Vahn]

"It isn't that I didn't have the tools I needed," Anora admitted, "It was being accused of using the Force like some kind of crutch, being told that it was holding me back." Truth of the matter was, Nora had never really been one to rely on her Force abilities, unless they were enhancing her physical abilities. "That, and I didn't want Eenia trying to find me for whatever reason."

A sigh left her lips and she put her arms up behind her head as they continued to walk. "I imagine at this point, I could use all of the help I can get. I've had enough of destroying things in my sleep because I can't control what's going on with myself."

Well, at least she had matured enough now to admit her own problems. That was definitely a step in the right direction.


[member="Josh Dragonsflame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

"A crutch" He repeated. "Do you truly believe that?" He then asked her, with a curious glint in his eye. "Think about it for a minute. You've trained for years as a Jedi. And with me, especially. You know better than your accuser just how grueling training as a Jedi is, especially with the Force. It's not something you just naturally pick up just because you're Force Sensitive. It takes time, a lot of hard work and it is far harder to learn and to train than anything physical. The Force is not a gift, a handicap, or a crutch. It is a responsibility, and even the Sith know this. For the Force untrained can easily kill the user. It takes a great deal of skill to master and the benefits in combat are a result of that, not because of something you were handed" He lectured, though he didn't do so sternly, strictly or with anything that indicated he was scolding her. He was more reminding her than anything. "Something that it sounds like you've realized partly already, with your sleep issues."

He let out a resigned sigh. "Training physically is important, yes, as there are measures against the Force and having a backup plan is important. But your Force training and what you learn from it is yours and yours alone, and they are a part of you. Don't let anyone make you think otherwise. Whoever does is most likely envious of your abilities, and most likely wouldn't have the capability to put in the work that you do even if they had Force sensitivity. Only the toughest of individuals master the Force, after all. Force sensitivity means nothing without the training that's needed to make use of it. And that training, even if you're probably used to it by now, is in reality possibly the hardest training regiment that anyone can go through.

You have absolutely earned the right to use it."

[member="Anora Vahn"]

 

[Anora Vahn]

"Of course I don't believe it." Came the response almost before the Jedi Master had finished speaking. "However, I could only take so many times of being accused and berated for it before I just didn't want to hear it anymore. With where I was, it wasn't worth listening to. So, I just let it go until I legitimately couldn't anymore."

Anora's head shook and she lifted a hand to run her fingers through her hair roughly. "Not that I was ever really proficient with anything that didn't enhance my physical prowess, but still." That wasn't entirely true. While Anora was by no means highly gifted in the Force, but she could use it with enough concentration - or if she didn't think too hard, she wasn't afraid to try. She wasn't afraid to fail either, and she would get right back into trying again.

"Its going to take some work to get back to where I was, but if there's one thing we all know, I'm stubborn and dedicated enough to put the work in."


[member="Josh Dragonsflame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qecNZ3QQWUc​

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"I'm sure you are. But it sounds like working on your mental toughness might also need to be a priority" He half-joked with a lightly amused smile. That was his way of telling her that she had been too easily pushed around and controlled by words. That she had allowed herself to be weakened, to be more vulnerable, because of words. She needed to be stronger than that. More independent than that.

"By the time you're ready to be a Knight-level Force User, I'm sure I'll have been able to help you with broadening your surroundings as well. The Force is a vast thing. Not being afraid to use it for all that the light side and the more base uses have to offer is all part of learning" He instructed. Perhaps that was his way of extending the olive branch? Offering his wing for her once more if she wanted it? He had missed having Anora as a student, he could admit to that. But he didn't want to say it aloud, he didn't want to pressure her. He wanted to keep it as subtle as possible and let Anora make her own decisions.

Soon enough, they arrived at where Anora's quarters had been. In a surprising move, he held out a hand and the door opened.

"Well, would you look at that? Guess this is where you're staying" He remarked with a small smile. It just happened to be vacant, so he'd made sure she got that particular one. In his eyes, the best way to help her settle back in was to make her feel as though she was simply picking back up where she left off, in any way he could.

[member="Anora Vahn"]

 

[Anora Vahn]

"It was a living situation thing," Anora defended. "Though I'm not against strengthening my mental defenses any either way." That was at least another thing that hadn't changed. Anora wasn't afraid to learn, or at least attempt to learn. There were just some things that she couldn't grasp, and while she didn't like it, she could accept it.

But she followed along still, and despite her time away she recognized the hallways, and knew the direction they were headed in before they even arrived. She was still listening though, and a half smirk took hold of her expression as she shook her head just slightly. "Old habits die hard, it seems." And yes, she was talking about the fact that he was lecturing her - in the way only an instructor could - as they made their way.

When they stopped, and the door was opened, a sigh rushed past Anora's lips. She stepped into the doorway and looked around for a moment before laying her hands against her hips. After a time, she turned so that she was facing him again, though her hands remained against her hips and her brow was pulled down some in the middle. "Alright, I'm willing to give this another shot." she stated. It wasn't like she had anywhere else to go,and honestly? She knew she still had plenty to learn, plenty of things to work on and develop.


[member="Josh Dragonsflame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

She seemed to take returning to her old quarters rather well, at least. Josh gave a gentle smile when she seemed to react well to the whole thing. He really did hope he could help Anora, one way or another. It seemed though, that she intended on "giving it another shot", whatever that meant. Did that mean she intended to be a Jedi again? Study under him again? Or was she referring to trying to live at the Rest again? He gave her a quizzical look, implying he was looking for a bit of context before he said much on the matter.

"Well, whatever you want to do, the offer's always there to help you get back on your feet training-wise" He spoke up. "Just let me know."

Normally he'd be dictating it, but he wasn't sure if she was talking about officially returning, or if she was just showing up for lessons here and there.

[member="Anora Vahn"]

 

[Anora Vahn]

"Whatever you wanna do," Anora scoffed and shook her head, "Honestly, it wasn't that vague considering the topic of conversation." she smirked at this, and then shrugged a shoulder. "I'll slip back into training, see how it goes. Hell, see if I'm still fit to be a student for that matter. Though I imagine if I have the patience to withstand a pigheaded Mando instructor, getting back into a real learning environment shouldn't be too awful hard."

Which was true enough. While Nora and Tyran had become good enough friends, he had still been a hard ass when it came to teaching and instructing her - not that she would have changed that fact. She learned a lot, after all. "So yeah, I'm in."


[member="Josh Dragonsflame"]

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

The Jedi smirked lightly in turn. "Didn't want to assume" He responded, knowing it was the easiest way to make clear he just wanted to be cautious and not be arrogant at all about the idea that she might want back in the fold. Her own agency was important. "I'm sure you'll do fine. We've had many here who've struggled in the past and have found their way back. Generally they come back and end up better off than they were before. Sometimes you just gotta step away to find out what you want to do - and why you do what you do."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I know I've had to."

With that, he would motion to her room. "For now, I'll let you get settled in and rest. We'll begin training in earnest later, but for now, I'd rather you take the time to get comfortable first."

He took a deep breath though, as he realized something. "Fair warning. It probably won't take much for your sister to figure out you're here, when I give this lightsaber back. There's really no point in my hiding it from her, either. She'll find you either way. I just hope you're ready for what comes of that."

[member="Anora Vahn"]