You Were Always Welcome [Connor & Coci]

[Thurion Heavenshield]

It was a slow day in the City of Fridheim. For once.

With the recent arrival of [member="Valae Heavenshield"], having relinquished her seat as Grandmaster of the Silver Jedi not unlike he himself had so many years ago, Thurion thought it fitting that his old apprentice should follow further in his footsteps by putting her in charge of Eirin's Reach - a centre of healing founded by the Lord and Lady Heavenshield. Her healing skills would serve the people well, but there was a more selfish reason behind his decision; since the loss of his eye, he'd struggled to resume his duties at the Reach. Having Valae step in would allow him to properly recover and time to heal.

So in the meantime, while sat in his favourite rocking chair upon his porch, he'd instead taken up an old hobby of his long neglected. In one hand was a wooden block, in the other a carving knife. Thinking back, he had not had the pleasure since their youngest outgrew wooden toys. He was now of that age when he had other interests on his mind, it was only natural. No, it wasn't girls - it was wanderlust. Won't be long now until Thirdas decides to leave the nest.

An hour passed, with only little progress being made on his wooden sculpture. He smiled at the sudden and gentle nuzzling of their two Corellian kitties around his ankles, now all grown up. He entertained the thought of getting up and become more active, but his eyes grew heavy and instead he succumbed to what was intended as a brief nap.

When he awoke he found himself wrapped up in a warm blanket, his block and knife put aside and with the two kitties nestled in his lap. No doubt the work of [member="Coci Heavenshield"], having caught him asleep. He looked around him in bewilderment, believing he'd only nodded off but in truth it had been an entire hour. He found his wife stood watching him from the threshold with a loving gaze. He would have gotten up were he not being used as a live cushion.

He reached for her hand and pressed it to his lips. "Thank you," he said softly.

[member="Connor Harrison"]​

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

Before he woke, she stood leaning against the doorway watching her Thurion at rest. For as along as she has known him, he was full of life and always up doing something and greeted the day each morning already hard at work. Whether it was for the Order they once served or for the people of Midvinter, it mattered little for whom he did what he did but in every aspect it was for the betterment of them. Their years in retirement had been wonderful for the most part, but nothing is ever simple here, nothing is ever quiet or sustains a constant .. just like the rest of the galaxy and it's peoples. Midvinter was no different.

The last great battle had taken a large price of them all, and although Thurion had recovered well physically, it was his state of mind that worried Coci the most. To her, he was getting older before his time. It wasn't that he gave up on life, it was more that he was willing to let it slip by him now and he is not old not by a long stretch both of them only in the mid life years still with much to give. His brother much older was still around providing much dedication to his people, just like their father before them, even upon his dying day. It had been quite some time since the great battle yet he sits here idol like a man thirty years hence, resting on the porch whittling wood.

Coci leaned down and kissed the top of his head as he took her hand in his. "Your welcome", she uttered before crouching down to eye level and scratching the tops of the kitties heads that purred contently on his lap. "If you are not careful, you will become a permanent fixture in this chair. And I doubt these two would mind", her words held a more meaningful inference behind them. Had their retirement been for the better? In his present state she questioned it.

She knew her husband very well of course, he had always clung to the past and the people in it. It is good to remember those once so dear, but to continually mourn their passing or loss of connection, this was destructive, this was one of his weaknesses and sometimes not even she can pull him from it.

​

[member="Thurion Heavenshield"] | [member="Connor Harrison"]​

 

[Connor Harrison]

Where the once mighty temple of the Silver Jedi Order stood, a tall, imposing building that shone as a beacon of peace and justice on Voss in a dark universe, there was nothing but rubble and ruin now. The natural erosion of wind, rain and baking sun had been instrumental in breaking apart the materials that had built the temple bit by bit. Moss and vines snaked from the earth up around columns of stone and through preserved metal frames. If one looked closely, a few remnants of scorched material and chips of metal and steel could be seen scattered in the surrounding areas.

Black ash and loose embers signalled fires that had ravaged areas of the temple and brought it down. Looters, pirates, Sith, Imperials – anyone and anything out to scavenge what they could from the Silver Jedi had been here. While the Silver Council had moved all their resources and equipment out in a well-executed move to Kashyyyk, it didn’t stop those hunting secrets and relics that could be sold for profit or twisted with the Dark Side of the Force.

The waterfalls that the temple had been built both on and around had bled through the weakened foundations and structures, now pouring through the earth and across the ruins itself. Small, deep pools over water filled craters left by the collapse.

It was ghostly quiet.

Nothing around but nature and the Force itself.

Connor opened his eyes as a chill ran through his body, and so brought him back to the here and now outside of his daydream. He pulled the crimson cloak around his body and held it with a rested arm.

Midvinter was a quiet jewel to the East of the galaxy, and the next – and possible – final step tracing back from Kashyyyk to Voss and now here. The footsteps of the Order he nearly helped bring down, and that of people he hurt. Now he stood at a fork in the placed called Fridheim, where the Heavenshield name had brought him too. Thankfully, as much as he was now in the galaxy, Connor was an unknown here. A forgotten face to many and a name not spoken about any more than that of old foes and allies of the past.

Where did it all go wrong? What happened to pull the Silver Jedi away? Was he a factor and his leaks with the Sith Empire? Did the Heavenshield family lose their vision and leave a desperate Order to flee uncertain times? Connor knew he had to come here one day, and that day was now. And there were no dramatics, no secret plot or plan up his sleeve. No tricks. He just had to face whatever came of this day. Maybe nothing, maybe everything? He had given up trying to forsee his future a long time ago as it spiralled out of his control more and more.

Nobody knew he was here, but that wouldn’t take long to change no doubt. Who knew how good these warriors and hunters were are tracking and tracing and observing offworlders. Connor looked around now and then just to get a feel for the bustling, backwards city – no, Connor, be kind – and see if anything stuck out. It didn’t, apart from the chill. He bristled again; too much time spent on Tatooine and then coming here was a bit of a climate change.

He decided to walk through Fridheim and let the Force guide him. The signature of purity and honour that was the Heavenshield calling card was strong. Flags waved up high bearing coats of arms and mythical creatures. Pride. Family. Everything Connor once had that he had betrayed in search of glory.

There was peaceful resolve on Connor’s face; a small trace of irony and some amusement at the way the former Silver Jedi Grandmaster and his family had survived and evolved into what looked like royalty. It was a million miles away from their shared past, and it was clear who held the high ground as Connor looked up at the royal crest on the flag, flapping gently in the cold air.

[member="Thurion Heavenshield"] | [member="Coci Heavenshield"]

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

He smiled at her words, eyes falling upon the two balls of fluff napping away in his lap. His hand began to stroke their soft fur one at a time, and immediately they both began to purr. "I'm sorry I've been absent lately," his eyes met hers as his smile slowly faded. "My mind's been... I've been thinking about Dad, about what he told us." The palm of his hand now found her cheek, caressing her with the utmost care. There was a pause as he lost himself in her eyes again, as was so often the case for him even all these years later.

"I've been a Jedi since I was seven years old. All this time I've believed all are created equal, no matter where you're from or which species. Dreams, feelings, aspirations - all of us possess these things at one point or another. And we all die, in the end." As he said this he gazed off into the distance. "I've never cared for the concept of 'gods'. I don't believe some superior being should dictate how we act; what right to they have to impose their will upon us? I don't mind the notion of a higher power in a religious sense, but when they are proven to be actual beings..." He shook his head slightly. "I don't know. It doesn't sit right with me."

Again his eyes found hers. "All this talk of gods and demons... It all seems so much bigger than you and me. Impossibly so. The Sith are a threat I know well and can deal with, but this? It's not even of this world, this galaxy." It was a difficult thing for him to grasp. The fact that his own father had departed this world only to become something... greater, for lack of a better word. It was equal parts comforting and frightening, realising there truly is an afterlife. And as a Jedi, would the two of them join the Living Force, or ascend to the godly realm of Beornskald? Will they have to make a choice?

He felt himself caught in a ramble, and he smiled once more as his fingers now played in her raven hair. "I'll try and live in the present again, you have my word." He leaned forward and placed his lips upon hers. "I love you, Coci." In his lap the two felines squirmed from the shift and decided to abandon ship, lazily leaping down on the floor and strolling inside to find something to eat. Thurion's loving smile suddenly faded and eyes widened as something familiar long dormant now stirred in him, re-awakened by the Force.

Gripping the armrests he slowly rose to his full height as the blanket fell around his ankles. "You sense him too... don't you?"

[member="Coci Heavenshield"] | [member="Connor Harrison"]​

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

He was right of course, all that had happened over the last year had opened their eyes to something much greater than themselves .. everyone in fact and the events of the battle seemed to place things in perspective once more. Coci had not been one for gods or the like either but there was no denying them now, not after the battle and meeting them all face to face. Both Thurion and herself almost died at the hands of one and either she or him had the ability to defend themselves let alone others. But then again, even as strong as the two are when combined, they are not strong enough to defend against a legion of sith or anyone trying to destroy but all they can do, all they ever did .. was try.

"It is bigger than us, and it always will be .. but isn't that the challenge? and at the end of the day when the sun finally sets on us both we can say we did our best and we lived to defend as best we could". Coci looked up into his precious face and cup it with her hand looking deep into his eyes. "There is no place I would rather be than by your side no matter what, no matter what we face".

Yet her brow furrowed, a whisper through the force calling the name of an old friend. "Yes", she simply said, and stood with her head turned in the direction of the main village. "Where is Thirdas?", her concern for her children will always be her first priority. The last time she faced this familiar presence, it was one of bitterness and loss and the man once friend had succumbed to the darkness allowing it to pull him under beyond her reach. The result of which had brought so much heart ache to so many, from the Jedi within the Order to those that had suffered because of the Fall. And Coci had blamed herself for it, hidden away in the deepest parts of her heart she believed she had failed him.

The signature of Connor Harrison was different from that day, to this moment. Something had changed and only event of facing him once more would unveil that. Why was he here? to torment them again or attempt to kill them? One thing she did know is that she did not trust him .. that died a long time ago.

Coci hurried back into the house and went straight to a box set aside in the corner of the main room and she opened to gather her lightsaber, it was her Shadow saber. Thurion was always the more trusting of the two, but she was very much on guard right now.

​

[member="Thurion Heavenshield"] | [member="Connor Harrison"]​

 

[Connor Harrison]

"You know how it is...well you probably don't, but still. Good people in all and a solid community."

Connor nodded slowly as the burly guard talked, holding what looked like a huge axe. The cold wind didn't phase him, and almost looked like he had been forged from the stone, iron and snow that surrounded the city.

"You have my respect, solider. I know the Heavenshields, so you being entrusted as a protector means they hold you in high esteem."

The two had made some small talk for the last few minutes. Connor had been spotted taking interest in the fortified building, and while he didn't look to pose a threat, the guard on patrol has done his duty. He had inquired, made contact and now stood between this robed man and the Midwinter family.

"Are the family willing to talk to outsiders, or do I need to make some special appointment? I traveled a long way to see this place, and to see them."

There was little expression on the guard's strong, weathered face.

"We don't welcome those just in off the street. I will take your name and your business, and all I will say is come back to the main gate 24 hours from now. Your name will be on a list, and if you are granted an audience you will be admitted. If not, then I'm afraid you will need to come back another day. And that also means no official business takes priority over your visit, as I am sure you understand, Mister..."

"Harrison." That would be enough. "I thank you. In 24 hours, then."

Connor lowered his head and stepped back. He trusted the guard would pass on his name, so all he could do was wait. But, rather than retire and find somewhere to stay, Connor decided to take a walk around the walled residence; he couldn't be sure if it was a castle, an estate or a military compound. It looked like all three, and had an imposing regality about it whilst also looking strong, secure and proud. A slow walk was good for the soul, and he was in no rush, so opted to take a stroll around the perimeter among the common folk going about their daily business such as market trading, forging metals and weapons for the armories, shoeing horses and socialising under the shadow of the Heavenshield flags flapping high above.

[member="Coci Heavenshield"] | [member="Thurion Heavenshield"]

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Thurion simply stood and stared straight ahead while Coci disappeared into their house, and slowly made his way down the couple steps of the porch. He knew full well her reasons for arming herself; Connor had been lost to the dark side, last they knew. That was a long time ago now, yet in all those years never once did he seek them out for any kind of revenge, and now that he apparently does show up out of nowhere his presence feels different than back when he last saw his old friend, incarcerated in a maximum security facility in Alliance space. It was near the end of his time as Grandmaster of the Silvers, and he'd managed to convince the Alliance leadership to hand him over into Silver custody. He never arrived.

When Coci re-emerged with her lightsaber Thurion seized the moment to take her by the hand. He knew it would be a difficult reunion for himself, but he also knew she had enough steel for the both of them. "Let's go, then," he took a deep breath before they wandered down the street towards where they both sensed his presence. While normally the Lord of Fridheim would happily interact with the people under his care, this time he simply passed them by in silence, solely focused on finding Connor. It was when they turned the corner that the two would lay eyes on their lost brother.

They saw him conversing with a guard, and upon approaching further they also overheard said conversation. At first Thurion had been hesitant, almost afraid, to see him again. Scared of seeing what he'd become, perhaps. But when he looked and found just the face of his old friend, his senses calmed and his stride turned confident. Once he and the guard finished talking, Thurion gave Coci a gentle squeeze of the hand before stepping forward.

"You don't actually think we'd live in a place like that," he referred to the keep, having to practically force the words from his mouth at first. "Too many empty, cold rooms."

Cautiously the two appeared before Connor, keeping a bit of distance for the time being. Thurion even managed a faint smile as his weathered gaze met Connor's. "Been a while, old friend..."

[member="Connor Harrison"] | [member="Coci Heavenshield"]​

 

[Connor Harrison]

Either the wind blew a colder chill than before, or a Force aura had swept over him. Not just one. Two. Connor shivered a little; it was a strong, sold aura compared to his now. The guard looked to the side and stood strong. He did his job well, and Connor hadn’t even felt them coming until it was too late.

He turned from the guard to see the Heavenshields; there they were again. Strong. United. A little older. Thurion; the man who helped him find the Force once more and introduced him to the Silver Jedi, and almost a big brother he never had. Coci; the woman who became a sister he never had and developed and pushed his skill and leadership until the end.

An awkward, near dangerous silence hung after Thurion spoke – still sounding like a smooth, grizzled lion. Connor didn’t know if he had to take a stand and show defiance, or laugh, or do nothing. He looked to the large build and nodded slowly in agreement, trying to buy time and think what to say.

He didn’t know what to say.

He looked back and Thurion came a little closer. And then Connor noticed.

”I see you took the old adage an eye for an eye literally."

And then instantly regretted it – what if was seen as insulting, rude, mocking? This was worse than his time standing before a Council during his trial to become a Knight.

”Nearly lost mine, actually."

The silence hung. He wanted to dig a hole and lie in the ground and not come back. He stepped forward, annoyed at the useless chat trying to break the thick ice between them. The gaze from Coci was colder than the chill of the planet.

”I’ve come here for one thing. Forgiveness. If we can go somewhere to talk, I owe you both an explanation, and an apology."

He knew the lightsaber at his side was on show, and he didn’t look away from Thurion as he pulled from the clasp and held it out.

”No tricks this time."

Part of him was confident talking to Thurion; there was something about the man what never allowed him to bear Connor much hate. He had always fate he was safe in his company, even though using up his chances many years ago. Coci, however…he knew she’d happily slit his throat here and now and let the blood freeze in the snow. It’s why he avoided looking at his former Shadow.

[member="Thurion Heavenshield"] | [member="Coci Heavenshield"]

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

So much had changed, too much had changed over the years and not just between the three of them standing in the cold facing each other. The day Connor Harrison turned to the darkness, the very place they both had strived to defend others from, was the day he had died to her. The man after that was an unknown, a person strange to her and now he stands in front of them both, who was he this time? He might bear the name of her brother, in more ways than one, but it was not him. How could it be? regardless of all that he went through, and the same was said of them as well, they were not the same people anymore.

But there was no trickery in is words, or actions and nothing in his presence through the force spoke of any other intention. Coci loosened her grip on her saber hilt, her hand had been resting there from the moment they walked toward him, and she was not even aware of it until now. He was asking for a chance to speak to them, apologise for all that had happened, and well he might but there was another that wanted to do the same .. herself. In Coci's heart she had come to the realisation that she had let him down. Many times she had gone over the events of the past, trying to find the point in which everything went wrong, why she had not seen his decline and tried to help. She had tried but it was all too late.

"Old friend", Thurion had called him, and everything in her heart wanted this to be him standing there.

Coci turned to Thurion, looked up into his face and saw the wanting for a return to his friend, a willing to forgive always there within her husband, it was one of his virtues she loved of him. But it was difficult for her to do the same, blood will not allow it, life experience would not allow it .. but her heart said different.

"We all wear the hallmarks of the past on our skin and in our being. And it is time to put some of them to rest", she finally spoke. This had to be for all of them, or they would go to their graves haunted by the past, it would be eternal sorrow which only happens when one suffers the loss of one you love and that nothing was done to change it.

​

[member="Thurion Heavenshield"] | [member="Connor Harrison"]​

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Thurion's gaze lowered as he quietly raised a hand to his scarred face, tracing them with his fingertips. It was still a painful experience he remembered very well. "Yes..." he replied, admittedly feeling uncomfortable with how he looked. "It's a long story." One he may feel ready revealing one day. Where would one begin to explain the events which led to the very gods walking the earth? He could scarcely believe it himself, even now with ample time to think it over.

Where Connor felt awkwardness at this unceremonious reunion, Thurion could not help but feel hurt seeing his old friend's face again. He'd wounded him deeply the day he abandoned the Silver Jedi, and was the moment that would lead to Thurion and Coci stepping down as leaders of the Order. And yet, there was a part of him that felt hopeful - perhaps foolishly so - at the possibility of them finally resolving the deeply personal situation. It was Coci's to-the-point words that returned Thurion to the present.

As Connor then presented them with his lightsaber, the guard who had observed the three thus far reached for his sword only for his lord to wave him off. "No. It's alright, Yggve. You may leave us and resume your duties." The burly man bowed and wandered off, meanwhile Thurion locked eyes with his brother and stepped forward until within arm's reach. "I can see the man I loved behind those eyes," he told him as he grabbed hold of the lightsaber, carefully taking it off his person. "I wonder, is it truly he that stands before us here, today?" A question he did not expect an answer to, at least for the time being.

Stepping back to stand beside Coci he handed her Connor's saber for safekeeping. "Come on, let's get out of the cold. Our home is just over there," he nodded towards their humble abode sitting by the shore. "We'll talk inside." As they made their way back to the house a faint shriek rang out from above. "Oh, and don't mind the giant gryphons soaring overhead," he offered Coci a knowing smirk just between the two of them.

[member="Coci Heavenshield"] | [member="Connor Harrison"]​

 

[Connor Harrison]

It was just like Thurion to have protectors far beyond those you could see in the immediate vicinity. The sound of screeching winged beasts above – gryphons – came perfectly on cue and served a gentle reminder to Connor he was a small fish in a big, cold, icy pond. And there was always a bigger fish. Or gryphon.

He glanced up and forced an amused smile, though he was a little unnerved by these winged beasts unlike anything he had seen before.

Looking to the small home down by the shore, it was a place Connor hadn’t given a second glance before or even considered to be a place that would be taken by Thurion and Coci. Proved how much he knew. With a thankful nod to the guard who ignored him, and a quick glance to Coci, he acknowledged Thurion taking his saber and fell in beside him.

”Hopefully the man you knew is still here, just a little older. Wise. Pained. Tired. The usual."

It was comforting to be in the shadow of one he had always respected. Even when they had clashed as brothers and briefly as enemies, there was never a time Connor could, or would, have hurt Thurion. He was the peacekeeper, the one who strived to find good and just in everyone and everything for the better.

Sadly, it was Coci who was almost cut from the same strand as Connor. Both had difficult times in their early days, born into a world that made them see that fighting was a way to survive and having mercy wasn’t always beneficial. She had been hurt, and Connor had hurt her. Though in turn, he had seen venom when their eyes last met and they were seconds from killing each other in the bowels of the Silver Shadow compound on Voss.

He had lost his prized Skywalker lightsaber – but had he ever really earnt the honour to wield it?

”Are you all keeping well?"

He glanced over to Coci, trying to involve her, but still feeling a black cloud over them. The last time he talked about the Heavenshield family, he had promised to return to burn their home to the ground and take the life of each child. Was he here to do just that?

[member="Thurion Heavenshield"] | [member="Coci Heavenshield"]

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

An ever present shield of protection, the gryphons circled overhead and made their way toward the house as they all turned to walk the path leading around the lake to their home. Thurion handed Connor's saber to her, but she did not take it, not this time but gently pushed it back toward Thurion for him to keep. She did not wish to hold another of his sabers and passed experience taught her never to touch the saber of someone that had walked the path of the darkness.

Her brow furrowed with each step, although she knew they would get to the nitty gritty of this meeting, the small talk annoyed her, it was like nothing had happened between them all. In a way it was nice to think nothing had transgressed between them all but that is not how she works. "Keeping well enough thank you", she decided to break the ice some more.

As they approached the house, everything seemed to be in order there was no sense of any mischief within it, and Coci ever aware of the workings of the darksiders scanned the house for any trap. Thirdas was safe, sent away to a friends place for the day until she called for him. Coci opened the door and let it swing open, offering a gesture for them both to enter and it was not until they passed the threshold did she do the same, as Thurion passed her she reached for his hand and squeezed it firmly as a warning to be on guard around Connor. The last meeting was nothing but shrouded words and reassurances which he never intended to keep.

It was not until Connor came to anger did he truly reveal his intentions to her. "I shall prepare something for us to drink", she continued through the main room to the kitchen. Although she set about preparing refreshments, her mind was on other things.

​

[member="Thurion Heavenshield"] | [member="Connor Harrison"]​

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Inviting Connor into their home was a gamble for sure, depending on how their meeting would turn out. If this would prove to be just another Sith ploy to gather information on him and Coci's whereabouts, knowing where they live on Midvinter would be invaluable indeed. On the other hand, Thurion hoped it would let Connor know that he was ready to put trust in him once more. That, and the fact that the Heavenshields were as much on their home turf as they could possibly be in case of a fight breaking out. He felt confident it would not come to that, however.

They got seated by the dinner table, lovingly fashioned by his own hand like so many other things in their home, and while Coci went to the kitchen for some light refreshments, Thurion clasped his hands together and leaned towards Connor, studying him closely. "Tell me, old friend," he spoke before leaning back in his seat once more. "Why come and see us now? You mentioned asking for forgiveness, but surely there must be more to it than that?"

One of the kitties lept onto the table to demand some attention, nuzzling his hands on the table and Thurion was quick to place it in his lap for a cuddle, all while his attention remained solely on Connor. "You are a known member of the Sith, be it the Empire or the Knights of Ren or whatever they style themselves as nowadays. You'll forgive us for being a bit on edge, however noble your intentions." When Coci returned with a tray of refreshments, he pulled out a seat for her next to him. "We may not have been active in the fight against the Sith these last years, but I can imagine our deaths would bring them no small amount of satisfaction."

Grabbing his glass of blue milk, he stared Connor down once more. "Tell us why we should put our trust in you, after all this time. A lot of old scars are making themselves known by your being here."

[member="Coci Heavenshield"] | [member="Connor Harrison"]​

 

[Connor Harrison]

Thurion had always been a gentle giant to those who knew him on the side of Light. Even in the Dark, the name conjured up a man who was compassionate, considerate and peaceful. Until the time for battle arrived and then he would fight until he could fight no more. A man with words and morals as sharp as any blade.

Not even the arrival of food or some kittens helped defuse the pit surrounding Connor’s gut right now. The words were not sharp just yet, but they were red-hot. A horrid crawl of the skin snaked up his back and his hairs tingled. What a macabre curriculum vitae this man had presented. For one who wanted to mean something to the galaxy, to do good and to be a figure of strength and leadership to others and, one way or another, be happy….he had his faults read straight back to him.

The Sith. The Empire. The First Order and their Ren.

What sort of being fell into so many crowds and so much darkness to still come out unsure and unwilling as to where he belonged? It was, quite frankly, nothing but embarrassing to hear. And the great former Silver Jedi Master stood before his former Grandmaster and former Shadow Sister, reaping just what he had sown.

Fear? Command? Power? Nothing but distrust and pity.

”I don’t ask for trust, just forgiveness. Only for the way I treated you both, the Order, your friends…family...." he offered a small shrug. ”I was never a known member of the Sith. Please, that’s insulting them almost. I wandered alone into a shadow that nearly swallowed me up, and what did I do? Became a pawn; a forgettable pawn. And then drifted along in a current I couldn’t tread, and eventually drowned."

He ran his finger on the edge of the table in contemplation.

”You know how much I wanted to be. To be someone. To be something. I ended up wanting more, and came away with nothing. I’m not a known member of anything. I’m not even known anymore. Mention my name and it’s another whisper in the wind of times gone by. No legacy. No impact. Nothing. Nothing but what you see before you. That’s all I have. That’s all I am."

With a small swallow, he looked to them both, unsure of how more blunt he could be.

”If I wanted to kill you…I would have already done it by now."

Did…did he Coci move slightly just then?

[member="Thurion Heavenshield"] | [member="Coci Heavenshield"]

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

The corners of her mouth twitched ever so slightly as if a smile was forming, there was still a part of the old Connor she knew, still present in him. His arrogance. In any other time she would have warned a force user of holding onto such a trait in their personality, but not this day, this day it actually pleased her greatly. Coci held her words though, instead she opted to hear him out all the while her thumb caressing the ignition button of her saber resting on her lap under the table out of sight. Although these words she had heard before, several times in fact from the same mouth, this time there was actual meaning behind them. There was a dullness in his eyes where once vengeance fired their light, it was hard to hide the truth from her, especially in the eyes for as long as time Coci had the gift of seeing more than most. It was the gift of her black eyes, and her son Thirdas had inherited this gift as well.

"This was always going to be the road on which you traveled when you choose to take the path of darkness, you knew that", she almost shrugged at him, the force knows how many years the two of them had trained against such temptations. "Yet you still chose it".

She was surprised at him for speaking about it as if it was an unknown. "I am not going to sit here lecturing you on that, I think you know well enough, have learned the hard lesson without me continuing it".

"You may have lost much, many friends and those that would call you family but do you really believe you have nothing to show for it?". Was this all he had come with? still this sense of pity or a need to have from others? "You speak of legacy, having one or in a position to leave one. That time is not over yet for you .. if that is what you truly want".

"Only nothing comes from nothing, but from where I sit .. there is something sitting across this table from me". He has his life left, Connor has regained his identity that the darkness would take from him and that .. is something. If he truly believe in a new start, truly believed in finding forgiveness and purpose once more, it was time for Connor to stop wanting which had always been his downfall and take up what he has.

​

[member="Thurion Heavenshield"] | [member="Connor Harrison"]​

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

He let Coci say her piece on the matter as his eyes fell upon the small feline resting in his lap without a care in the world. If he were to reincarnate into any other form of life, it would be some sort of cat. Which was more than a little fitting considering the sigil of his house. He only paused his petting of the kitty to sip from his glass, and by the time he'd emptied it of blue milk his wife had likewise finished speaking her mind. Looking across at Connor, he seemed content sitting in silence and contemplate their words. He allowed a small pause before he spoke next.

"Connor," he leaned forward just slightly. "You are my brother. You never stopped being my brother, never once this whole time. That makes us family, and in a family you forgive one another. Accept their flaws and faults." Thurion reached across the table to touch his hand. "I don't think it's me you need to ask forgiveness, nor Coci or anybody else. You need to find a way to forgive yourselves for the things you've done, to set your soul at ease. It has been in constant turmoil since long before our falling out. Like Coci said, you need to accept yourself for who you are. Not who you think you should be. Or this whole cycle will begin anew."

He gave him a soft smile and reassuring squeeze of the hand before leaning back in his seat, eyes pleading with him. "What say you, old friend? Will you let us help you find your way back?"

[member="Coci Heavenshield"] | [member="Connor Harrison"]​

 

[Connor Harrison]

It was almost like being back on the frozen tundra of Rhen Var again. The reassuring words that offered a glimmer of hope if one took them on board. The reassuring squeeze of the hand. That was Thurion’s way; gentle comfort rather than a blunt, barrage of questions.

He looked to Coci and nodded slightly in agreement.

”You know, at one point, I truly did believe my fate was on that dark path. The poison I was fed, the justice I didn’t see…it all just blended into one and nothing was clear to me except that. At one point I did see myself becoming something beyond what I ever thought." How wrong he was. Stood back before his former allies within his tail tucked between his legs. ”Yet, here I am. Proof that some people are just too good to lose to the Dark Side forever."

He couldn’t help share a wide grin. There was almost no recollection of the anger and hate – and jealousy – he once felt to this pair who had done nothing but try to help.

”It will be a bumpy road, I know. But I am here. Connor. Your friend, is here. I want to be that person again and be somebody. I miss being me. So yes, I am here asking for your help. There is no motive for me being here bar that."

[member="Coci Heavenshield"] | [member="Thurion Heavenshield"]

 

[Coci Heavenshield]

She watched everything, heard everything and she sat in silence, looking for anything that might portent he was telling them lies once more. Every movement of his body, inflection of his words and the force swirled around him which she 'read'. Yet, there was no malice or ill intent, it seemed that he spoke of the truth of which he wanted to be free from the darkness and all that had happened from the time in which he turned against them. Not just her and Thurion but the Jedi.

Still that was something that she wanted to know. Gaining forgiveness from her and Thurion is the easy part, it is what they were breed to do as Jedi, but there was still a burning question that needed an answer and she wanted the truth.

"The last time you where on Midvinter you had not come alone", she spoke in a quiet voice which was calm and held no venom. "You stood watching as the Sith bared down on Thainbroek, attacking the capital without mercy. But they did not stop there, a Sith knight and his apprentice along with a his troops came to a village north of here called Húsavik and razed it to the ground, killing children, men and women, the elderly very few escaped. I was one of the first to arrive there along with some of the Silver Jedi and [member="Joza Perl"] who had come to help. We were to late and overwhelmed with the Valkyri that had suffered not only injuries but the lose of loved ones". She paused for a moment, to allow him to take in what she was saying and also because the memory of it was still very vivid in her mind.

"In the months that followed, Thurion and myself began the hard road to re-establishing the displaced Valkyri here in Fridheim building it from nothing. It is not something that they will forget, in fact for generations they will suffer but they go on and have rebuilt their lives here". Coci stopped once more and leaned in, placing her arms on the table and pushed the saber away to the side. "You see .. it is not just Thurion and myself you need to ask forgiveness of".

There were several things in her mind, and if he answers the next question with honesty, she will continue to propose the start of his redemption. "But what I want to know is .. did you bring the Sith, did you tell them we were here?". The consequences of that had taken a large toll on Midvinter and on the families of Hearthfire and Heavenshield.

​

[member="Thurion Heavenshield"] | [member="Connor Harrison"]​

 

[Connor Harrison]

After the relatively easy choice of words from Thurion, now came down the gauntlet from Coci who had been holding things together rather well so far. Connor stayed still as she said her part, and the more she delved into the consequences of his actions – his “debut” siding with Sith Lords – it had become rather uncomfortable hearing the reality of things.

One of Connor’s defences throughout his many years of serving both sides of the Force was his ability to cut off reality from what he did. No matter whom his enemy was and the casualties that could some with his actions, Connor saw them as nothing. To remove the humanity and the severity of things, he was able to do the best job he could and not let his emotion and conscious take over.

But when he arrived on Midvinter, his emotions HAD taken over. He had no barrier or filter, even though he thought he did as he stood on the icy plateau looking over the city below. He knew just what he had done, but felt nothing for it. He felt nothing for those he saw slain, or the buildings burnt down. He was acting out of a promise he had made to her; a dark, deadly promise that was still unfulfilled.

He raised his head a little in mild defiance and trying to find a sliver of pride in facing his demons. It was ghostly quiet after she had finished speaking, bar a faint whistle of cold breeze outside.

Connor swallowed slightly.

”I told the Empire where you were. I landed, and they followed. They launched the attack, and I waited for you, but our paths didn’t meet."

Saying it out loud, he didn’t know if he was brave of foolish. But it certainly was awkward.

”I am responsible for their attack on Thainbroek."

He wanted to say sorry…but he couldn’t. It was a weight pulling him down inside, but the words just wouldn’t form as a final admission of his failure. Either way, he would take what came from the people of the planet – and family – he sold out.

[member="Coci Heavenshield"] | [member="Thurion Heavenshield"]

 

[Thurion Heavenshield]

Thurion felt pleased with the apparent outcome thus far. It truly seemed it was his old friend and Jedi brother that was sitting across from him; he sensed no taint of the dark side in him, just the same insecurities and slight touch of arrogance that was Connor. While his wife spoke next he leaned back and resumed petting the kitten in his lap, now awake and stretching his four limbs. When she asked her question regarding the Sith invasion from years back, he fully expected Connor to tell her he had nothing to do with it.

But then Connor responded by saying the unthinkable.

Slowly Thurion looked up, and just as he made eye contact with him the tiny feline decided to make himself scarce, having noted the change in mood and Thurion's body tensing up. His very first reaction was sheer fury at what he'd just been told, staring down Connor with fire in his eyes. It only took a brief moment for it to pass however, with his gaze not so much looking at Connor but rather past him, through him. He took a long, deep breath as his shoulders slumped, looking over at Coci at his side.

He got out of his chair and began to slowly pace in the background, raising a trembling hand to stroke his beard as a thousand thoughts raced through his mind while the other rested at his hip. How should he respond to this? "You..." he began, trying to find the right words. "A lot of people died that day, Connor. Innocent people. Children." Suddenly he lashed out, grabbing his empty wooden mug off the table and throwing it against the wall. "Children, Connor! All because you led the Sith here where they could commence their slaughter!"

Now he closed the gap between them, leaning over the kitchen table with white knuckles pressed towards its surface. "Their blood is on your hands, old friend." Again he backed off, desperately trying to get a hold of himself. Another deep breath, and his composure won the day. "Tell me this," he got behind Coci where she sat, resting both hands on her shoulders. "Did you hope to kill us, that day? To take vengeance for all the things we 'took from you'? Did you hate us that much?" There was no more fury in his voice. All he wanted now was a truthful answer.

[member="Coci Heavenshield"] | [member="Connor Harrison"]​