[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BprFgPCYiNw[/youtube]
Too late, this is not the answer
I need to pack in
I can't pull your heart together with just my voice alone
A thousand shards of glass I came to meet you in
You cut the peace out of me
His words echoed through her and she felt him take a step closer. Her hands clinched into fists, eyes slamming shut. She would fight it because she didn’t know any other way. From a very young age, the girl had learned that trust was something easily given and broken just as quickly. Time and time again she’d trusted, she’d hoped, and it had been torn away each time, one more scar, one more bridge burned. Eventually, she started burning the bridges herself before she was the one caught in the middle surrounded by flames.
All she knew was how to fight, how to run, and how to survive.
And as you ripped it all apart,
That's when I turned to watch you
And as the light went on you went dark
I saw you turn to shadow
If you would salvage some part of you that once new love
But I'm loosing this
And I'm loosing you
Walk away. Her eyes opened slowly, stopping with lids half closed, staring at the wall beyond her without seeing the stonework. He was still stuck on the karking issue of her birth name, the damnable identity she’d left behind even before joining the Ren. He seemed convinced that her name was her identity within the Ren, that, like Talon and himself, it was a title she’d taken when she joined the First Order months before.
”I took my name years ago, half a decade, when I left….”
She paused, biting her lip for a moment as she considered. The word
home was never right for the hovel she’d spent her early life struggling to survive in. The only person who lived in that darkness was long dead, long ago wiped from memory and thought.
No, that wasn’t correct either. Dagobah had shown her that. The woman who’s blood she shared was still there, still taunting her from deep within the recesses of her memory. A low growl trickled out, her eyes rolling with amber at a spectre not present.
”When I joined the street gangs.”
And oh I've gotta turn and run
The places that you never see
Oh I've gotta save my blood
From all you've broken
And pack up these pieces of me
It's too late now to stop the process
This was your choice you let it in
This double life you lead is eating you up from within
A thousand shards of glass you pushed beneath my skin
And left me lying here to bleed
Spinning on one heel, she met his gaze with her own, a fire burning behind the ruby irises.
”My duty as a Ren is to defend the Order and my brothers and sisters. That is all. Do you think I do any of this out of duty, truly?”
A few steps forward, her hips swaying as she approached, the hunter within coming out.
”My duty to the Ren in regards to you ended when I brought you to my master. If this was about duty I would have washed my hands of you then.”
Anger colored her tone, anger at herself, at him, at the position they found themselves in. Moving around him in a slow circle, her eyes never left his face, the internal war raging.
And as you showed my your scars
I only held you closer
But as the light in you went dark I saw you turn over
I wanted always to be there for you and close to you
But I'm loosing this
And I'm loosing you
And oh I've gotta turn and run
The places that you never see
Oh I've gotta save my blood
From all you've broken
And pack up these pieces of me
As she came full circle, her hand shot out, a thread of power accompanying the motion to wrap around his heart and lungs. Her fingers splayed across his chest, above the organs she applied a light pressure to. Her gaze dropped from his face to her hand, the beating of his pulse strong and steady under her palm.
Part of her wanted to pull that power, crush the heart until she watched the light die in his eyes, ridding herself of the pain and fear swirling within. It would be as easy as curling her fingers shut with a snap, his life and power gone in an instant.
”
So fragile…”
She wasn’t sure if her words were meant for him or for her, but they hung in the air between them, a whisper barely acknowledged.
”That day, in my room, I showed you who I was. Who I truly am. If you don’t believe in the trust of that, I can do no more.”
Her burning eyes flicked up to his once more, the darkness swirling within, her desire and bloodlust bare, a thread of fear hidden behind the baser, more powerful emotions.
These broken pieces
Pack up these pieces of me
These broken pieces
Pack up these pieces
Maybe without me
You'll return to all the beauty I once knew
But if I stay I know,
We will both be drowned by you holding onto me
And oh I've gotta turn and run
From the faces that you never see
Oh I've gotta save my blood
From all you've broken
Pack up these pieces of me
Stepping back, she let the power drop, turning away from him again. For a moment, she waited, the urge to turn and run at war with the fear and anxiety gripping her throat in invisible threads. Once upon a time, she’d have done anything to make him stay, but no longer.
She’d survive. She’d fight and grow stronger and survive. Whatever the outcome. He could be a part of it or not as he saw fit.
Her eyes narrowed, expression darkening as she stared at nothing.
”If a name is what you want, take it. I have no use of it anymore.”
Moving to the door with steps that she refused to let wobble, she placed a hand on the keypad, deftly typing in the combination to unlock the entry. As the door slid open, a thought whispered across their bond, quiet, hesitant, and tinged with anger.
Tessa. Tessaren Lightmist.
She didn’t have to say that if he ever uttered the name aloud, she’d destroy him where he stood. The darkness within said it all.
[member="Connor Harrison"]