A favour returned

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Adele Adonai"]

As the wind howled around them he stood unmoving. Inside his mind was as tempestuous as the air. The swirling vortex picked out by the dark lines of Bafforr pollen it carried. For all his observations, he hadn't even noticed the wind. He'd heard the Bafforr trees dancing to its influence. He'd even watching the glass beneath his feet, so still in the artificial air. A warning he had ignored.

A sad expression crossed his face. No fear, no anger. It slowly transitioned to concern as his eyebrows came together. In that dreamscape he'd seen the signs of the taint, but had never imagined they could run so deep. What had she been? A terrible Sith Lord seeking a place to hide, a place to try and find some peace and redemption? His hand paused his thumb along the line of her jaw.

In that dreamscape she had been alone and frightened.

The wind brought with it that familiar bitter scent; the one that wove together so many key memories into the tapestry of the last year.

Slowly, he leaned closer. He held no notion she would lash out. Were she to do so he would be caught entirely off guard. Whatever she might have done, in his mind this could not possibly be a switch and he would turn on him so suddenly. A bold assumption given the sudden change in appearance.

His voice barely a whispered in the howling wind, he spoke.

“Bafforr trees and honey bees.”

 

[Adele Adonai]

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

I'll use you as a warning sign, ​

that if you talk enough sense then you'll use your mind. ​

A voice in the back of her mind would cajole, whispering temptation with the silvery tongue it always used.

It would be so easy, it said. So very easy. You could reach out and touch. You could take his mind. You could make him forget. You could wipe away every trace he had of what he’s witnessed.

That is what A’dele could do. She could wipe away his memories, implant others. She could dig deep into his psyche, comb through his thoughts and strain them through a sieve of her making. As the Fifth Daughter, she could revert to a dozen ways of protecting her status, in ensuring no one else would know.

While the Iridonian had submitted herself to the Circle of Healers, that was not her true skillset. No, that lay within the mind. In extracting and manipulating information, one way or another. Battle meditation had its roots in sith battle coordination, an area she had excelled in. It was the only area she had dared even attempted to use from her past. Anything else…

A constant temptation.

Did she want to harm him? No. Was the temptation there to make sure she could leave here without him revealing her nature? Yes.

Yet, it was his kindness that cut the deepest.

In her mind, he should have stepped back. He should have recoiled in alarm, retracted the warmth of his hand. Instead, the brush of his calloused thumb ran lightly along length of her jaw. It was the tenor of his voice that cut through the wind. His words that soothed like a balm to a raw wound.

The Bafforr trees sway calmed under the waning wind. Their pollen a faint green cloud encircling them both, and all of a sudden, it felt as if nature itself gave a shuddered sigh.

The woman immediately shut her eyes. As if the mere act would prevent him from seeing her at her weakest. From bearing witness to her shame.

He was close. Close enough for her to touch. That salacious rasp would scream at her to do it. To keep them both safe. To do what must be done. What had to be done.

Shoulders shuddered, the trembling growing enough to be visible at just how tense she was. Breathing heavily, she made a choice.

“...It’s not safe.” she told him hoarsely, her voice cracking. He should go. He should leave. For his own safety.

Could she take the easy route? Yes.

Would she?

No.

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Adele Adonai"]

A’dele?

Don’t look.​

What can I do to help? You're not alone.

Change it. Bafforr trees. And the drone of honeybees.​

This time Jacen couldn't fathom the complex string of signals that played out across Adele's body. Perhaps so attuned to the subtle changes he was simple drowned in noise. Pulse quickened as he looked into those amber eyes. Such intensity in that gaze. He had never imagined. Never imagined she fought such a deep corruption. She had fought this alone and in silence. When he had been alone in his cell he must have seemed such a child to her, to wail about his troubles and latch onto her. But back then it had been the disappointment he had seen in those around him that had caused his grief. The look in Aela's eyes. He vividly recalled the sensation of those trembling fingers trying to cover his own.

“It often seems that doing the right thing isn't, these days,” he whispered. The hand on against her jaw slid back, fingers walking between her slender neck and hair. There it reached up to cradle the back of her head as he had done before. Seeing her tremble was too much for him. The space between them evaporated and, if she would let him, he gently pulled her against chest placing her head underneath his.

Jacen said no more at first. The bee did not judge those who had become lost, it simply helped them find their way again. But then, the bee was a simple creature. Jacen was not. For a long time he had simple drone with a narrow focus. Unwilling to expand his gaze or look to the past because each fall had been more painful than the last. The bee did not find itself having this depth of affection for another without even realising it.

Whatever you need.

Whether it was just Bafforr trees and honey bees or…

His free hand snaked between them and firmly held her fingers around the box. It was hers.

 

[Adele Adonai]

[member="Jacen Voidstalker"]

​

​

And I'll use you as a makeshift gauge,​

Of how much to give and how much to take.​

​

"It isn't---"

Safe. Her plea of protest was silenced as Jacen's broad hand went cupping the nape of her neck. There was no hesitation. No concern over life and limb. Nothing other than silent support; drawing her in, drawing her close. Before she knew it, his entire being seemed to envelop her. Her forehead met this rise and fall of his chest. Her ears discerned the rapid beat of his heart. Her body registered the heat that he permeated as he held her to him.

All offered freely.

It was too much. Shivers racked her whole body. She felt shaken loose and thin-skinned. Why? Why wouldn't he listen? Couldn't he see that it wasn't safe? That --

His hand went sliding over her own, and with it he simply pressed the wooden box that contained the circlet to her. A reminder of what he had commissioned to help her find a little bit more peace. Offer protection. To feel safe.

Safe.

Like the lulling drone of honey bee's wings and the bitter tang of Bafforr tree pollen, as he had done before.

Just like that, what little thin shred of control she had was lost.

Not to bring him harm. But to find solace in the strength he offered to lend her, just like in the dreamscape before. There, feeling utterly naked and exposed A'dele wept.

 

[Jacen Voidstalker]

[member="Adele Adonai"]

The tips of her vestigial horns lightly scraped under his chin as she started to cry. Yet he still turned his head aside and leaned his cheek against the top of her head. His hand pulled her hand and the box it held out from between them before he relaxed the grip on her fingers and wrapped that around her, just beneath the shoulder blades. His right still cradled the back of her head, thumb gently rubbing up and down. Now he had her entirely enclosed. It was just the two of them now, closed off from the world. And the audience of the Bafforr trees, he supposed, hearing their fronds shift in the now still air once more.

No layer of control could entirely supress the tumultuous mix of emotions he felt swell within him. Those cogs that had been turning on instinct to unravel the mystery before him ground to a halt. There was only A’dele, her pain and her vulnerability. That glimpse at Omwat had not revealed the true extent of what troubled her. He had never imagined, seeking her out with wooden box in hand, that everything would have led to this. Seeing and feeling her raw emotion, how terrified she was of being exposed, all coming into crystal clarity deeply moved him. Every racking sob saw the crest of a new wave of emotion. In that dream state he had held her, given him her strength, but it had not been a true physical act like this. Both were a level of intimacy that he had never expected her to permit.

Awareness so focussed on the moment, his mind fixated on the sensation of her warmth against him and the contrast of the cold against his chest where her tears were being soaked up by his robe. The smell of her hair and how fine it felt against his thumb. Her own robes were not the heavy fabrics of most Jedi, but delicate layers of sheer white silk.

“A’dele,” he whispered, barely above his breath. Nothing else came to him to say. He didn’t know what would help her. Right now, perhaps, she dimply needed to know that he would neither leave her nor judge her. So he simply held her. Not so tight that she couldn’t move, but encircling her against the outside world.