Private A Night in Nar Shaddaa

[Dreidi Xeraic]

Location: Nar Shaddaa, dive bar
Outfit: Casual
Companion: Grisial
Tag: Marigold

It was clear that Marigold was struggling with Dreidi's points. She was sure it would take more than a few drinks and a single conversation for Marigold to appreciate and understand what Dreidi was attempting to get across. "I am not expecting you to just jump to my ideology right away, but I think you should reflect on it, see if there is anything that resonates with you." Dreidi wasn't aiming to force the girl to change her ways, it had to come from within so Marigold had to want to change how she did things.

"A hero doesn't copy the actions of a monster," Dreidi pointed out, "slavers treat others how you treat them, most people won't see much of a difference between you and those you fight if your actions are the same." Dreidi knew it was a harsh comment and there would be many to see some difference but to call herself a hero was a step too far, that was not who Marigold was. She was an extremist and a vigilante, she was trying to do good but doing it in a way that didn't mean good consequences were guaranteed.

She looked over to Marigold, "my methods, my ways.... I put those restrictions in there. I act the way I do because I want to act that way. You say you can't help it, you can't stop yourself. That you need to kill them. That isn't freedom, that is letting them linger in your head, that's letting them control how you react. They are still controlling you, because you allow them to fuel your hatred."

"If they give you no choice but to defend yourself, and you had to kill them, that's different. That's understandable, but chasing after them, making sure you are killing without mercy. That's allowing them to win, to remain in your head and heart." Dreidi didn't mean to force Marigold to be upset, she was simply telling her how Dreidi saw the matter and saw how the consequences were.

 

[Marigold]

"When the only memories you can recall in your life are the ones of the people who hurt you the most, you want to make sure they're gone. Like, really gone." She explained. "I just- can't move on until I do." Marigold spoke with quieter tone, speaking up less and less while Dreidi spoke to her. She was stuck in the past and she very much knew it, she couldn't let go. The girl was hurting, hurt so much that the only thing she knew is how to hurt others, might as well do that. The girl looked down, despite the words were not meant to hurt or upset her, they were much did. They pointed out all her flaws, spoke of ideals that were ailen to her.

"Am I a monster, then?" She asked Dreidi, there was great deal of sadness she restrained, and a fair bit of anger. Though not exactly directed at Dreidi. Of course, her thoughts and ideals couldn't be changed throughout one sitting, but it's clear that she didn't want to have this conversation, or to continue the topic, not like it would go anywhere.

Dreidi Xeraic

 

[Dreidi Xeraic]

Location: Nar Shaddaa, dive bar
Outfit: Casual
Companion: Grisial
Tag: Marigold

Dreidi looked over to Marigold, "you are never going to kill all slavers. That is an impossible task. You are setting yourself for failure and it won't be living." She was attempting to stress that Marigold was not living a life, she was just mindless, a slave to a task that would never be completed, even if she lived another hundred years. She understood that Marigold hated slavers and the emotions were strong and difficult to move pass, but Dreidi knew that she would never feel content with life.

"Do you feel like a monster?" Dreidi asked simply, it didn't matter what Dreidi's thoughts were, she was a stranger who brought drinks.

 

[Marigold]

"I don't know, I don't feel a lot of things." She explained to Dreidi. "Save for when i cave that chitter's skull in, and save the kids." Really, the violence and murder is about the only things that were enough to conjure up at least an ounce of emotion in Marigold, as beneath that nearly insatiable bloodlust. There was only shame and emptiness. The girl didn't really know much else in life other than that.

She lowered her head and leaned onto the counter, Dreidi's words were thought provoking for sure, and a lot of things she herself, when speaking outloud, seemed like ramblings of a madman.

"I, uh, guess I am." Marigold mumbled quietly, it's about the only conclusion she could arrive at.

Dreidi Xeraic

 

[Dreidi Xeraic]

Location: Nar Shaddaa, dive bar
Outfit: Casual
Companion: Grisial
Tag: Marigold

"If you see yourself as a monster, and you don't like what you see when looking in the mirror," Dreidi paused then looked down at Grisial then at Marigold, "you can change that. Be someone you like more, a person, happy and content with life." Dreidi wanted to push that this wasn't about killing slavers, or that it was something morally wrong. It was the act itself tainted Marigold, turned her into something that she did not like. That was something Dreidi didn't want to see. Especially in someone seeking to be her friend.

Reaching out, Dreidi placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed reassuringly, "people change, monsters are defeated from within. It is never easy and doesn't mean once beaten it will be gone forever. We will forever carry our demons, what makes us better than slavers and the like, is we don't let those demons control us." Dreidi still saw a chance in Marigold to rise above it.

To be someone better than a senseless killer.

 

[Marigold]

"I don't see a person when I look in the mirror, or a monster, I see nothing." She spoke, with a dry tone. "Just... I don't know what I am anymore." It was hard for Marigold to properly voice out her concerns, fears, well. And be vulnerable, she liked to withdraw and hide behind a sassy facade, but deeply ingrained within her was still a fragment of her childhood, that fearful little kid, and yet. It was so hazy at the same time.

"Monster seems like a good way to describe me, I guess. But what am I?" She didn't know the answer, to either, what she was, or who she wanted to be. All she ever did was to kill, slay, and that's all, imagining anything else outside repetitive, stagnated task like that was ailen, and enermous struggle. A normal person would have no trouble doing that, but not her.

Was it because she wasn't normal? Or because she wasn't a person?

The words about change were noted, though, Marigold didn't speak anything about them, she simply held her head while sighing. It's clear that so many words, revelations, and mainly, conflict. Overwhelmed her, and she simply didn't know what to say, or to do for that matter, not at the moment, at least.

Dreidi Xeraic

 

[Dreidi Xeraic]

Location: Nar Shaddaa, dive bar
Outfit: Casual
Companion: Grisial
Tag: Marigold

Dreidi turned in her chair to face Marigold. "Perhaps the reason you see nothing in the mirror is because you aren't living a life. You are acting as a tool, a weapon that moves from one killing to the next. Perhaps that is why you see nothing because there is nothing to see." Dreidi pointed out, she was no therapist nor was she skilled in understanding people's emotions but she was trying to help Marigold since they were here and the bounty hunter was open to listening for now.

"This is why you might need other ways to vent your emotions, hobbies that appeal to you. They can help you figure out what defines you as a person, shape you into the being you wish to be so you see a person in the mirror." Dreidi was spit balling ideas and had no clue if it would actually help but it sounded better than just lingering around and doing nothing. Repeating the cycle of pain.

Finishing her drink and setting it aside, Dreidi looked at Marigold. There were plenty of ways she could describe the bounty hunter and she could use the Force or Magick to really analyse her. But Dreidi held back, "I can't tell you that. Only you know who you are and who you want to be. Only you can motivate yourself enough to achieve it. I can support you and help you through it as a friend but I cannot, and will not, force you to change."

 

[Marigold]

"Well, at least you're the first friend I had in the whiles." Marigold concluded with a tired smile, listening as Dreidi spoke. "I guess you're right. I just gotta hope I'll find it before it's too late, if it's not already."

She took another sip, downing her... Third? Fourth mug? She wasn't sure anymore. "Thanks, I guess I needed this talk, I live from my pay to pay so affording a therapist hasn't something I saved credits for." Marigold chuckled, looking up at the ceiling. "I'm not sure if I'm ready to change, not yet, at least... But, I'm sure that maybe, sometime, someday. I will, I just gotta try harder." She nodded, looking back at Dreidi, and chuckling.

"Thank you, it means a lot. Maybe we can hang out more, y'know? Not necessary missions, since uh, yeah, you know..." She lifted her empty mug. "There's more to the world than just going from point A to point B, from what you told me, might as well."

Dreidi Xeraic

 

[Dreidi Xeraic]

Location: Nar Shaddaa, dive bar
Outfit: Casual
Companion: Grisial
Tag: Marigold

"Having friends can really help, if you allow them in, they can keep you in check." Dreidi mentioned, her friend were always a light in the darkest of times for her. "So, if you want me to, I can be someone that can help make sure you don't fall victim to your anger, your rage." Dreidi offered a reassuring smile and a aura of supportive, positive energy.

Dreidi chuckled deeply, "therapy isn't for everyone. I went through it for a long time so I got a bit of understanding of how to help you guys." She knew that not everyone could afford it or wanted to approach therapy but having a friend to talk with and express their emotions, it was everything for people. And it seemed that Marigold needed someone to talk with.

"Sure, we can find some things to do that aren't mission based, and things that weren't drinking based either." Dreidi smirked, there were other things they could do for fun and she was sure that Marigold would have fun and figure out what she wanted to do in life.

 

[Marigold]

"You did say that you can't force me to change though, right? Why'd you try to keep me in check?" She inquired, seemingly curious. "...But hey, I wouldn't mind if you did that, I have problems doing that.." Marigold took a deep sigh.

"I know you aren't a fan of drinking, I do that a lot though, mmh. Maybe we could take walks together!" She suggested with a smile peeking from her otherwise hidden by the hood face. "But yeah, thank you. You're way too kind for someone I met just now." It was a rarity that she complimented people, that much one could guess.

"Besides, missions are lame for the most part, if they don't include beating someone up, or seeing new sights." Marigold murmured with a hum.

Dreidi Xeraic

 

[Dreidi Xeraic]

Location: Nar Shaddaa, dive bar
Outfit: Casual
Companion: Grisial
Tag: Marigold

"Forcing you to change and keeping you in check is two different things. Keeping you in check is something you are consenting to and wanting me to do, forcing you to change isn't." Dreidi explained, "I can help you be someone you like looking at in the mirror, but only if you want my help to do that. I can't twist your arm and make you adapt."

Chuckles, "it isn't that I am not a fan, just not something I am keen on making a habit. I already smoke often, I don't think I could afford to drink often as well." Dreidi smirked, "walks sound nice, Grisial loves running around grassy areas." Thinking about Marigold calling her too nice, "a Jedi is meant to extend a kind hand, offering to help someone in need no matter what they have done before. It isn't easy and there are times I don't want to offer the hand. But I need to, if I can make someone a better person then I should help them become their best selves."

"Seeing new sights and travelling the galaxy is always fun. Seeing wildlife that is so varied and unique is amazing too. Not sure I enjoy the beating people up part." Dreidi sipped her drink, "sparring can be fun and a good workout but not just randomly beating someone senseless."

 

[Marigold]

"Not randomly beating someone sensless, like, beating up bad guys senseless. That's what I mean, no killing, just uh, beating them up until they get knocked out, yeah. That's... Better than just murdering, right?" Marigold smiled awkwardly at Dreidi. "But, I understand what you mean. I have trouble controlling myself in all aspects sometimes, it seems, I don't eat a whole lot, I don't sleep a whole lot, I don't-... Well uh, yeah, I just, appreciate your help, that's all." She lifted her mug, nodding with appreciation.

"Wish that wasn't just a Jedi thing, y'know? We gotta have more people like that in the Galaxy than just you folk." She explained, sighing while looking into the distance, lowering her mug. It appeared she was dizzy enough from the rounds of drinking already. "But yeah, I like travelling, it's something I never really got time to explore- hah, get it?... Sorry." Marigold sheepishly covered her mouth with a hand. "But... Um, yeah, I guess seeing new places is something I wouldn't mind in the slightest, all the places we could go!" The young girl spoke, as if starstruck with the possibilities that it held.

Dreidi Xeraic

 

[Dreidi Xeraic]

Location: Nar Shaddaa, dive bar
Outfit: Casual
Companion: Grisial
Tag: Marigold

"I can help make sure you keep yourself healthy, I got some experience caring for others that way with boyo down there," nodding her head to Grisial who lazily looked up at them. "Yes, I do feed you enough. Just you are grumbling for more and that'll get you overweight." Dreidi commented back to Grisial as he sent her a message complaining about not getting enough food.

Looking to Marigold, "it isn't necessarily a Jedi thing. Anyone can do what I am doing here, now with you. The fighting, using the Force and all that. That's perhaps less available to everyone but the basics of checking in and caring for others. Anyone can do that."

Chuckling at the poor joke that Marigold made, "it's okay, bad jokes are always fun on occasion." Dreidi mentioned as she then noticed that the bounty hunter was getting hit by the alcohol. Paying the tab for both of them, she place an arm around Marigold. "The possibilities are endless, and does mean there are plenty of areas we can go walking together if you wanted." She offered a warm smile.

"So, you got somewhere comfortable to sleep for the night or need to sleep on a bed at my ship?" Dreidi asked as she guided Marigold out of the bar.

 

[Marigold]

"You can speak to him, huh?" She looked down at Grisial and chuckled. "Yeah, anyone can do that. Maybe I'm just unlucky enough to not meet enough of these people in my life." Marigold took a deep sigh, but giggled in response to otherwise saddening fact, reality she lived in. She responded positively as an arm wrapped around her, she wasn't drunk enough to the point where she couldn't walk on her own, but didn't mind Dreidi guiding her either. What little affection was given, she craved. "Yeah, we can travel anywhere!.. Like um... I don't actually know, but we could go places for sure." The girl beamed a bright smile, clearly a rare occassion.

"I got myself a cozy cabin in the ship, it's kinda like a house, but in a ship, I was thinking of flying it all the way to Corellia so that it could get some modifications and refitting to it's design, it's not entirely mine... But, the previous owner, a slaver. Did end up getting blowed up so... It's mine, but yeah, it's gonna' need some work." She nodded. "But hey, it's bearable to sleep there,"

Dreidi Xeraic

 

[Dreidi Xeraic]

Location: Nar Shaddaa, dive bar
Outfit: Casual
Companion: Grisial
Tag: Marigold

Dreidi nodded her head, "we're bonded so he knows me better than most people. And we can communicate to one another no matter the distance between us." She commented as she smiled to Marigold, "well, when you spend all your time hunting slavers and killing them, hard to see the people who are doing good. That's why we find other things to do like hobbies and adventures that don't involve fighting." She pointed out in a gentle tone, reminding Marigold that living a life fighting people means that she misses out so much.

"I'm sure we can figure out places we want to go to. There are plenty of worlds that are chill and very fun to just walk around and explore. Maybe some historic sites to visit as well. I have a bit of love for other cultural historic sites." Dreidi mentioned, since learning more about Dathomir and the history of that world, she was keen on learning more on others.

Continuing to guide Marigold, she walked towards Marigold's ship, letting the bounty hunter inform her the direction she needed to take. "Well, I'm sure you aren't the first to do that. Repossess a ship from someone deceased. But getting it sorted to suit you and your personality is a big thing. Heard many who live on their ships really crave to make the ship feel like their own." Dreidi commented, she was not that way herself, the ship was just a ship to her but she was not that keen of a pilot either so she hadn't forged bonds like that.

 

[Marigold]

Marigold chuckles. "So you like, can talk to him?" She waved her off, seemingly not entirely beliving it. "Yeah, sure." The young girl giggles, listening as Dreidi spoke. "I dunno' Drei, all I know is how to fight, really. It's going to be hard to get into other hobbies, but I'll promise that I'll at least try." She mused while they walked through the busy streets.

"I know a place we could visit- but I'm reserving that for when we'll visit all the others, it has heh, some importance to me. Gotta' build up that confidence, you know?" She explained to Dreidi. "Something where we can do sightseeing would be my favorite."

As they honed in on the ship, she looks over to her friend. "Well, all in all. I enjoy the ship, maybe when I'll modify it to my specifications, I'll like it more, but ehh, it'll do for time being." She cants her head to the side. "Thanks for the drinks, next time is on me, eh? So that I don't leave you without creds with how much emptiness I gotta fill with beer." Marigold muses, with sarcastic tone. "I'll see ye' on the flipside."

Dreidi Xeraic