A Slicer and A Socialite

[Alric Kuhn]

Before the girl could finish speaking her peace she would find that very quickly on the way to her face was another shoe.

Of course the blaster would have been a better idea, but Logan was neither a fighter, nor a kidnapper. So the shoe seemed like an easier and more accessible weapon than the blaster. Though of course, when the girl said the word blaster it finally occurred to Logan to grab the stupid thing and point it at her. In a mad scramble for the blaster pistol Logan jumped from his partial laying down position on the floor of his limousine.

He slid across the carpet, feeling the burn on his exposed belly as his shirt rose up slightly. He winced, but managed to grab the blaster pistol, turning the weapons safety off and pointing it immediately at Vivian, though not shooting it for obvious reasons.

“Now stop moving you stupid Schutta!” The words were practically hissed at her.

This entire thing had been a massive failure, and it was all her fault. Had she simply cooperated, he would have a million credits and she would be on her way back to wherever it was she could earn money she would no longer get from her parents, probably the nearest back alley.

Logan scowled.

 

[Evelynn]

Another heavy shoe bounced off of the cranium of the princess, leaving the woman to lay flat on her back and contemplate life.

How could she get a job? A job! It was so pedestrian, so beneath her, damn it! She had been born into privilege, she was the one percent and the one percent didn't work! This was wrong, the balance of the galaxy had been turned upon its head, this was an absolute outrage!

Wait, did she just remind him about the blaster?

Oh, bugger.

“Okay, okay,” the young woman said, tones completely irate as she ignored his request and rubbed the bump forming upon her temple, “you need to reign it in, greek-chic.”

She still didn't take him seriously. Welcome to the world of fame and fortune, where immortality protects against all blaster bolts. Watch out for overdoses though, and heart failures at around the age of forty-three. That's where celebrity gets you, right in the heart.

“This cannot be happening to me.”

 

[Alric Kuhn]

If he hadn't been before, Logan was now entirely sure that the woman who lay on the floor before him was completely and entirely brain dead. He frowned slightly, still pointing the blaster at her with a stiff arm.

“Pretty sure I know why your parents cut you off.” Logan said under his breath as he began to think about his next move.

He had the girl, clearly her parents had thought this was all part of some plot for her to get her money back, thought up by her drug addled little mind. All he needed to do was to convince them that this was in fact real. He pondered for a moment. Calling them back would simply look like desperation on Vivians part, and sending them a picture of her tied up would likely be much the same.

Suddenly an idea formed in her head.

Even if she was cut off, Vivian would still be on the news.

Terrible tabloids and awful papers would follow her around like she was a walking corpse. Ensuring that the public knew what was happening as Vivian slowly spiraled out of control in a desperate attempt to regain her former fortune. So, if suddenly these papers stopped writing about her and Vivian completely disappeared, her parents would know this was serious.

He frowned slightly. He was going to have to kidnap this ditz for real, and take her off Nar Shaddaa.

Oh god.

 

[Evelynn]

Thankfully Vivian did not hear what words Logan muttered under his breath, otherwise he would have received another face full of deadly feminine nails. Well, actually, in her mind plans were already beginning to formulate to slap this little geek square across the chops, but a little later, when he's not expecting.

Then it hit. Finally.

Behind oversized sunglasses pupils found themselves dilating as the 'stim finally hit. That's the thing about bombing your spice, takes a little time. Gotta let the paper dissolve before the contents are released. Not as swift as being a narcotic hoover but hey, as long as it still works, as long as there's still a high it's all gravy, baby.

The socialite still on the floor of the speeder visibly relaxed, her body gladly accepting the offering of sweet sweet glitterstim. It felt, it felt like having a cold and being able to breathe in properly for the first time. It's fine. It's fine. Get a job. Whatever. No money? Whatever. There's 'stim. All you need is a hit of the 'stim.

“So, what's the plan, Jeevsie?"

 

[Alric Kuhn]

The thought of shooting the girl more than passed through Logans mind, In fact the thought was downright tempting.

But then how would he get paid?

He pondered for a moment what exactly the plan was. He had no starship, no money for a starship, and certainly no intention of working on a starship in order to buy passage for the both of them. That of course left the option of stealing a ship, which by the second was growing more and more attractive. Logan nodded to himself slightly as he realized that was the only option he had.

They would have to steal a craft, something that was actually quite easy given the quality of craft usually found on Nar Shaddaa. Before he answered Vivian Logan looked down at the small computer on his wrist, touching a key.

As the limousine suddenly twerked to the side Logan finally replied to Vivian. “Were gonna steal a ship.”

We?

The young man was clearly lost in the moment.

 

[Evelynn]

We.

“Steal a ship? That's a bit OTT, I-M-O.”

Princess Vivian Talina Octavia had degraded into the very lowest and laziest form of slang. Oh dear. She found herself on a cloud of drug-fuelled contentment. Like a Budd'hist'ika monk at the very peak of zen, here she was. Completely calm and carefree, happy. Almost deliriously so.

Rolling onto her stomach (and remaining outstretched on the floor) the girl almost erupted into a fit of the giggles but managed to shoot an almost stern face at her would-be kidnapper.

“We should go to Club Trop.”

A nod of affirmation as she moved laced her fingers together and rested her chin atop them, legs flicked up and found themselves crossed, like a teenage girl waiting by the phone for her heart throb to call.

“We can dance the night away, dance my problems away."

 

[Alric Kuhn]

Logan simply stared at the woman.

She was daft. Part of him wanted to hit her and get this whole thing over with, just simply leave her for dead in the Limousine and hide for the rest of this life. That was however no way to live, and he certainly wouldn't be living on some back water outer rim world for the rest of his life, no way in hell. He frowned slightly, and then shook his head.

“No, were getting off Nar Shaddaa.” Almost on cue the Limousine came to a grounding halt.

He had already figured out that Vivian was strong out on something or other, that much was more than obvious from her quick change in behavior, the question was, could she even walk? He frowned slightly, moving forward and poking her in the ribs with the blaster. “Come on. It'll be an adventure.”

Logan didn't like this.

She was a burden, and he never did well with burdens, but if he could get off world with her in tow and convince her parents that this actually was a kidnapping, well then it would be payday enough to keep him going for months, not to mention pay off the Hu-

His thought process cut off as suddenly the door to the Limousine swung open, revealing a Hutt, and several dozen mercenaries.

 

[Evelynn]

Getting off Nar Shaddaa? But she had just gotten here!

Although, given that in about an hour and a half she had lost all of her money, been near disowned by her parents and was now kidnapped (although terribly oblivious to that last fact) perhaps leaving the crudball of a moon was in fact a solid idea. Although anybody who was somebody in this galaxy had to visit the VIP lounge of Club Trop at least once on showing face here. It was the unspoken law of the privileged.

The blaster insisted, as did the geek. An adventure? Why not? The day couldn't get any worse.

“As long as we can squeeze in some dancing. I just wanna move, you know?”

She was about to shift herself from the floor of the speeder when the door was opened. Well, that looked ominous. Vivian blinked, opening her mouth for a second to say something and then thinking better of it. If Logan caught that moment he might have been relieved that she had held her tongue, but then...she changed her mind...again. Sigh.

“I did not know that you had your own chauffeur, nerdling,” she chirped, the spice causing a moment of involuntary pouting (gurning, but prettier), “are you like, one of those secret millionaires or something?”

 

[Alric Kuhn]

Logan sat in the Limousine stunned, he had absolutely no idea what to do.

The Mercenary who had opened the door simply stared at the man, his face slightly aggravated. He clearly had not intended on being here This afternoon and the acquisition of Logan and his little friend was taking up valuable time. The man signaled to Logan to step out of the vehicle, and the blonde man only nodded.

Slowly he slid out of the Limousine, erecting himself outside of the large speeder seconds before Vivian was grabbed by the hand and dragged out alongside him.

You owe me a Star Destroyer, and you're out partying with socialite degenerates?

Jerric the Hutts voice sounded like a cheese grater rubbing against a Durasteel plate. Logan cringed slightly as the slug spoke, Betty automatically translated.

“No no, Jerric you don't understand. I uhhh...well I found out I couldn't do that job.” Logan again cringed as the mercenaries all around him tensed, and the Hutts face twisted in absolute displeasure. He could see murder in those eyes. “But thats why I was on my way to you, to pay you back.”

One hundreds and fifty thousand credits.

Of course there would be interest, it was silly to think a Hutt wouldn't want more than he had paid. Hutts always wanted a profit. Logan just shook his head. “Well...uhhh no not exactly.”

His eyes darted around, not looking at anything until they feel on Vivian. He frowned slightly, and his heart sank. He only had the one option.

“Thats what the girl is for, her parents are rich as all hell. I took her...for you.” Oh my how he regretted those words. Logan wasn't a bad guy. He didn't like slavery or killing, or really anything bad at all, but he needed to survive, he needed to live, and there was no way he could do it now without pissing off the Hutts beyond all hell. "So you could ransom her...or whatever."

His heart beat once, then twice, and then suddenly the Hutt nodded.

Acceptable.

Logan let out a long regretful sigh as the Mercenaries moved towards Vivian.

 

[Evelynn]

Pushy chauffeurs, huh?

With eyes flitting around wildly behind her sunnies Vivian was granted an insight to her kidnapper's life, and problems. Large problems. Hutt shaped problems. Seems like Spazzy McGee owed a few credirinos to the large slug, the slug who had just called her a degenerate. Rude.

Wait, a hundred and fifty thousand credits? That was all?! The young woman made an audible pffff at the notion of such a small debt.

Then of course there was a small piece of outrage as Vivian Octavia was used to settle said small-fry debt. A hundred and fifty thousand? As bloody if! She was worth millions, damn it! At this slight the woman whipped off her sunglasses, revealing blue eyes dominated by very dilated pupils.

“Excuse me?!”

The mercenaries moved. Oh no.

“Do you know who I am?!”

Oh no.

“I am Princess Vivian Talina Octavia of Belleau-a-Lir and I refuse to be ransomed by petty karking criminals! I refuse! So you,” like Hulk Hogan she pointed at the Hutt, “can forget it. You lot,” now the mercenaries, “can back the feth up! AND YOU,” now poor selfish Logan, “CAN GET HIT BY A SPEEDER.”

Vivian the Fearless, and very high.

“CAN'T A GIRL JUST GO TO THE CLUB AND DANCE?! IS THAT SO DIFFICULT?!”

 

[Alric Kuhn]

Logan watched as Vivian had her little freak out, though this time he didn't judge her. He had just sold her into slavery, had just sold an innocent girl into a life of debauchery and humiliation. A frown settled on his face, no, not a frown, it was a look of complete and utter despair.

What had he done?

The deep look of regret did not stop the Hutt from ordering his men to seize Vivian. They moved on her and gripped her by the arms. One man on each of her sides so that she could not resist. The two mercenaries practically lifted Vivian off of the ground, beginning to carry her away. Logan watched the two men, twitching slightly as Vivian began to screech and scream.

This was wrong.

The Hutt would take her and twist her, turn her out and make her a shadow of the girl she was now. No, this wasn't right. Logan shook his head. He had made a mistake.

A huge mistake.

 

[Evelynn]

Looks like her furious spice-fuelled ranting had an effect of absolutely nothing upon the scene the unfolded before her very eyes. Before she could say, 'Club Trop' once more the mercenaries had her by the arms and were in the process of lifting and carrying her away to goodness knows what kind of filthy den.

She screamed. She flailed. She kicked. She said things that cannot be repeated here.

However it was all futile.

Her panicked glance went to her original kidnapper, he hadn't scared her. Beneath his permeating aura of the douche he wasn't a bad guy. The Hutt however, was a far different story. A ransom only gets you one big pay-out. You keep a girl like that for services and you can make more credits over a span of a few years. Call it the royal experience.

Just chain 'em up, keep 'em on death sticks and toss 'em away when the looks fade. Welcome to your fate.

“Damn it! Help me!”

 

[Alric Kuhn]

Logan looked on somewhat helplessly for a moment, watching as Vivian was taken away by the Mercenaries, and then finally he shook his head.

No, he couldn't let this happen. He couldn't allow this girl to completely disappear at the hands of the Hutts. He knew it would only lead to misery and despair, something the galaxy didn't really need more of. He scowled, and then tapped a key on the side of his arm. His computer was luckily still in control of the Limousine behind him, and the key he pressed sent the massive speeder immediately veering right.

Logan was not a brave man, he was not one to fight when he could avoid it, but in this very moment, there was no avoiding it. As the Limousine pulled to the right, crashing into Jerric and a large portion of the Mercenaries the Blonde Douchebag pulled out his blaster from its holster. He fired once, then twice.

The two men who had carried Vivian dropped to the floor, dead.

Before any of the other mercenaries could get up from the floor Logan dashed towards Vivian, his tall lanky form reached her in a heartbeat, his hand clasping around her arm and tearing her up to her feet. “Run!”

He practically screamed it in her ear, this was no time to standstill.

 

[Evelynn]

Action! Excitement! Adventure!

The renegade speeder burst into action once again, making a swerve for the no doubt villainous hutt and the hapless mercenaries who were likely just trying to do their job. Wait. Why am I defending them? Good! I hope the speeder breaks all of your legs!

In a display of remarkable courage her nerdy kidnapper suddenly withdrew his blaster and this time actually used it for more than just posturing, sending the two men that held her to somewhere much more permanent than the Shadow Realms (I did just make the reference). Naturally, being that the pair had had her lifted off the ground she fell with them, thankfully still alive.

Time slowed to a stop, and if this moment were a romantic holo-movie he would have offered her his hand a la Ner'Aladdin. Do you trust me?

Well actually no. I don't, but he didn't offer. He took, and almost wrenched her arm out of its socket. Rude! However she would screech at him for saving her life after dooming her life later. If they survived. Which right now was lookin' like a solid fifty-fifty chance, but you know what would help, baby-doll? Look down, look at those shoes. You can't run in those shoes, not with that 'stim flowin' through your system.

Lose 'em. You can buy new ones with...ooh...yeah...well, you can't buy new ones if you're dead! So just do it!

Kicking off her ridiculous heels she began to flee with Prince Nerdling, off into the wicked streets of Nar Shadaa and away from debt collecting gangsters.

 

[Alric Kuhn]

Running without shoes was perhaps not the best idea on Nar Shaddaa, the planet was caked and flecked with more diseases than most galactic hospitals knew of, but at the moment Logan decided not to tell Vivian that, and instead he simply booked it, running as fast as he could with his hand still firmly gripping Vivian's arm.

There was no time to stop, no time to pause, no time catch their breath.

They had to get away from the Hutt and his mercenaries before they regained their footing. Neither of them however were cross country stars, and before they even passed the first corner, blaster shots rang out behind them. Streaking lines of red and blue flashed over Logans head, singing the air and biting at the wall's and ground ahead of them.

The Slicer ground his teeth, stopping suddenly in his tracks and practically pushing Vivian into a nearby ally. There she swept her off her feet, carrying her in his arms as he ran through a deep cesspool like puddle of muck.

A homeless man shouted at the two of them as his small fire was splashed out of existence.

Blaster shots rang out again, and the homeless man was quickly silenced as one of the blasts struck near his feet. Angry yelling from the mercenaries erupted, they screamed at Logan to stop and put down the girl, but he didn't.

He kept running, turning corner after corner and losing himself in the small alleys besides the startport, until finally they reached the landing pads through a small alcove.

There he finally put Vivian down, his breaths ragged and his heart racing. His head began to swim, and his hands fell onto his knee's as he bent over slightly. Breathing heavily Logan began to speak, knowing that the mercenaries wouldn't be fooled for long and would keep coming after them to exact their revenge.

“You...I...” Deep gasping breaths. “Starship...find...leave planet...go...somewhere safe.”

It was hard to speak when your lungs were struggling for air, but he hoped the ditz got the message, find a starship.

 

[Evelynn]

Hey now, would you rather she got a terrible foot-based wasting disease from running on the surface of Nar Shaddaa barefoot or perhaps you would like them both to get caught and executed on these mean streets instead?

Yeah, exactly.

Into the alleyway they went, where like a true princess she was swept off her feet. Not entirely necessary but hey, was Vivian Octavia going to complain when someone else was willing to carry her out of danger? Exactly. Don't complain, you're getting carried, best support NS.

Behind them sang the chorus of blaster fire, and she didn't even dare to look over his shoulder. The sight of merciless mercenaries chasing them down might have been a bit much, she might have screamed right in his ear and then what if that caused the nerd to lose balance? Then they'd both be in deep bantha poodoo.

Miraculously the pair managed to evade their pursuers but perhaps they had only stopped chasing on foot. That seemed to be the most likely scenario. Let's not say that out loud though, let them have this small victory.

He placed her down and the socialite observed as he withered away into an eighty year old asthmatic. He had been running at full tilt, while carrying another human being. Vivian understood his breathless request. About half an hour ago it was insane but now, now it made sense.

They needed a starship, but how? They had no credits to buy one. As if her perfectly manicured nails could help them Vivian looked down at her hands when an idea crept into her selfish skull. If she sold her jewellery, they...they could afford a nice little craft...but...I mean, that was her bling.

A difficult decision needed to be made.

“Can you steal one?”

 

[Alric Kuhn]

Logan began to nod his head furiously in confirmation of his question. Heavy breaths still entered his lungs and he grasped desperately for air in an attempt to actually normalize his breathing.

Yes he could steal a ship, he could steal most anything in fact. Modern day starcraft were all based on electronic systems, there were hardly any that functioned on mechanical locks anymore, thank god. Because of this Logan was more than capable of hacking into a ship systems and making it work. That part was easy. Maintaining the ship would be the difficult part, though they could worry about that later once they were gone from the Hutts.

Logan held his breath for a second, trying to normalize his lungs. His eyes bulged for a moment, and he let out a long exasperated sigh.

“Something un....assuming.” He still found breathing hard, but at least he could talk without his lungs being on fire. Something flashy and big would likely get them caught, same with some hot rod ship. All they needed was a transport freighter, something unassuming and easy to overlook, a smugglers ship would have been perfect, though he doubted stealing one of those would be a good idea.

Frantically Logan pointed towards the landing pads, begging Vivian to choose a ship.

 

[Evelynn]

Talk about your out of shape slicers.

While Wheezy McGasp struggled to regain his breath Vivian was given the task of sourcing their new mode of transport. Legs were so last season, but unassuming? Now you're barking up the tree of crazy ideas. Yeah, let the Princess of sin and decadence pick out your new craft. I mean what does she assume is unassuming? The one with the gold trim? Yeah, it's gold, it's not platinum and therefore it's not as good.

No, no. Contrary to the slicer's opinion Vivian was not that stupid. Call her an airhead, call her a bimbo but you'd be wrong.

With no shoes the woman sauntered over to the landing pad, heart still pounding, pupils still engulfing her iris. Probably not the best idea to go ship hunting with your brain set to warp speed five thousand, but whatevs. There were a few ordinary vessels that likely would have been perfect for the task, and a couple of luxury yachts that really weren't.

But no, Viv had something else in mind. A rust bucket. A crud dumper. It stood before her in all of its scorch-marked dented glory. The Princess was no mechanic and therefore had no idea of the make and model but she knew that this hunk of crap would be the one.

A weedy looking Rodian stood by the vessel, concern laced throughout his features (well, at least she thought it was concern, it's hard to tell when you've got a mouthsnout.) Like the predator she approached her prey.

<Hey, baby.>

Bilingual bonus, girlfriend. Knowing Huttese on Nar Shaddaa is a handy thing to have.

<Y-yes, can...can I help you, ma'am?>

<Wanna have a good time?>

Oh Force...

 

[Alric Kuhn]

Logan didn't watch here Vivian went. He didn't pay attention to her attempts at the game known as Rodian seduction, instead he simply tried to regain his breath. Over and over he filled his lungs to capacity, then released. Over and over again until finally the wheezing breaths stopped, and he regained his composure somewhat, only to immediately lose it as his head swiveled to the right.

There he saw the Hutt Mercenaries.

“Frak.” Logan simply said as panic once again gripped his heart. In almost and instant Logan booked it. His feet stamped on the ground and he rushed as fast as he could into the starport. Is head swiveled around, eyes frantically searching for Vivian and her gigantic sunglasses. It took him only a few moments, and then he finally noticed her...leading a Rodian away from a starship.

Logan rolled his eyes.

“What a-” He cut off slightly as he heard yelling in Huttese behind him, the Mercenaries had spotted him. “VIVIAN!”

Logan yelled at her, gaining her attention and hopefully distracting the pair. The Slicer rushed forward, dashing across the spaceport and rushing towards Vivian and her new friend. He reached them in no time, and used his momentum to deliver a solid punch to the aliens face. He knocked out the creature in one hit, sending the alien to the floor with a loud thump. “WHERE'S HIS SHIP!?”

He assumed that Vivian had actually had a plan and wasn't just slutting it up.

 

[Evelynn]

Of course, Vivian was not planning to have sexual relations with that Rodian. Oh god no. Do they even have the right parts? I mean we make all these assumptions that everything has human genitalia, how do you know that they don't have, like gnomes down there? Exactly. No, damn it, don't Google it! What? It looks like that? Huh. Didn't think it would be that color.

Unfortunately, her plan of seduction was to fall through. There were two factors to this, the first was the mercenaries, who had caught up and were still keen on taking what was theirs and the second, was that her slicer companion had not paid attention and did not understand what Vivian's game plan was.

So he came in, like a one-girl wrecking crew knocking out the hapless Rodian with one swift punch.

For a moment she froze, disregarding the seriousness of the moment and looked to him. “You have absolutely no eye for subtlety.”

Then a hand shot out, those fingers with the bling-bling pointed so sharply at the rust-heap starship she had been leading the alien away from. Vivian had never had to concoct schemes or plans, paying her way out of all of life's problems and for the first time she had come up with a non-bribing solution and this ninny had crushed in and ruined it.

“IT'S RIGHT THERE, FUNGAL BRAIN!”