A vicious, monstrous beast…and that’s just Connor!

[Corvus Raaf]

Corvus gave him a hard stare. "Do you know the last time I took a night off?" She glanced at the sky and appeared to be doing some mental calculations. "Never. It would be...I don't know...time wasted. I could be training or studying or teaching or...fighting Dragons." There was a smile on her lips but it was clear she was telling the truth.

"But I'll have a drink with you when we've finished. I know a lovely little place in Anchorhead. And I like your plan. Simple." And there was no mockery in her voice, she clearly found his suggestion sound.

As she prepared to move out she asked him, almost too casually to be coincidental, "What's your experience of Farseeing?"

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Arching his head back, he exhaled in part-amusement and part-frustration. He had so much to say to her, but chose not to. She was definitely not human.

”Mhm. Sounds good, but you know I wasn’t serious about that plan? It’s crazy. You’re crazy. This whole thing is one big crazy.”

He moved the mouth of the cave and lowered himself down the small drop onto the soft rock below and stretched his body out as high as he could without the cavernous ceiling above.

”Farseeing, I know of it but I’ve never touched upon it. Come on, show me how it’s done please Master Raaf.”

Connor mocked a low bow and dragged his hand out for her to jump down and lead the way.

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Corvus Raaf]

Corvus was only half-listening. “No, it was a sound plan. And I might have some allies for us.”

“But, well, far-seeing, I can’t do it to order but…” There was a sound in her voice that suggested she wasn't sure, now she’d opened the subject up, where to take it.

“When I crafted my saber I had a vision. I saw my former Master being murdered. I had always believed it was an accident. It turned out to be true and the Sith Lord responsible was…captured.” There were details she was clearly avoiding.

“And when I crafted my shoto a few days ago, I had another vision. It was on Corellia and it was simply of my tomb-stone. I mean, we’ll all die some day, right? I don’t fear death. But last time it was telling me something. What do you think it was saying this time around?”

And then as if to dismiss her own question she walked out of the cave. Licking a finger and holding it up to the wind as if this meant something she simply started walking, calling out over her shoulder, “Follow me, their camp shouldn’t be too far from here.”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Pulling the black cloth over his mouth and nose, but leaving his hood down – ever the Rogue – Connor listened to her speak about her visions. Watching her move back and forward in the cave, he simply stood and listened.

He was about to answer, but before he could she was down by him and walking away. He may not be the most qualified in psychology, but even he knew from the barrier she was putting up that she was avoiding something; damage to her pride or letting her emotions show?

”Lead on,” he said with a theatrical wave of his hand behind her back.

”Sorry to hear about your Master. That stinks. At least the one responsible was found. As for your other vision, it’s a little creepy. I mean…I don’t know, is the future set? Are we all on some pre-planned journey that the Force has mapped out for us, dripping us little teasers of what is to come?”

He shook his head.

”I didn’t glimpse anything about my glittery past, but would I have if I could? Maybe not. You just follow your head and heart, live like you were born to do and serve the Force like we swore we would. I think the tombstone may represent something you will hate.”

He felt her in the Force waiting for it, even if he was looking at the back of her head and couldn’t see her face.

”Maybe this Corvus Raaf will cease to be, and a new one emerge from her shell. One without a rod up her…”

Connor grinned.

“Well, look at this planet, isn’t it nice in the sunshine?”

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Corvus Raaf]

She strode purposefully forward. She listened to Connor as she walked. “Master Yoda said the future was always moving, uncertain. I mean, it’s not like I could see a date on the tombstone or anything.”

“But there was a woman at my grave. Like me but not me. And she had white lilies. I always remember white lilies in the house when I was little – when anyone died. Funny that, eh? And what was that about a rod?”

She was distracted now and suddenly threw a hand up. Pointing ahead, just around the next outcrop of rocks a camp could be seen. A Tusken Raider camp.

“Good, good. I thought they’d be here. It’s near the well you see.”

Clearly Connor was supposed to 'see.' But before he could speak she’d walked up to the sentry on the outskirts of the tents and bowed. The sentry waved his gaderffii stick and then stood along side Corvus pointing at one of the tents.

“Come on slowcoach, it seems A’Jork is expecting us.”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

A girl with lillies – Connor thought for a second. Maybe a family member or a friend who helps bury the past? He was about to speak, clawing up the sand dune with his boots sinking in the sand, before he felt her urgency in the Force spike and stop him.

Looking up, first at Corvus and then ahead, he saw a Tusken Raider camp.

His eyes widened slightly, but looked up in confusion with her less than panic-stricken response.

”What…?”

But she was already on the way down to the outskirts. Connor stood and picked up the pace, skipping over the thick dunes that seemed to roll down with each of his steps, and he followed on behind until he was close enough to see the primitive tents and established camp of the Tatooine scavengers.

Their existence was feared on the planet, their identity a mystery behind rags, cloth and disfiguring armour and masks. Scanning the camp and watching the Tusken talk to Corvus, Connor was ready for action. However when she bowed, he was even more lost.

”Who’s A’Jork?”

Corvus walked forward to the tent that was being pointed at. With a shake of his head, Connor followed, with his cloth still up.

”A’Jork. Yes, Connor. It is a joke,” he muttered, passing the camp guard, eyeing his gaderffii with caution.

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Corvus Raaf]

Corvus walked through the camp as if she’d visited it many times before. Once was the exact measure and it was a matter of days ago.

Although they’d parted on good terms she wasn’t entirely sure she’d be welcomed back with a stranger in tow, but she believed in the adage of nothing ventured…

Finally they reached a tent larger than the rest and a mighty Tusken warrior pulled back the flap and emerged with a roar and a wave of his gaderffii stick.

“A’Jork,” Corvus said, smiling and bowing in quick succession.

“Smiling one,” the Tusken replied. There was almost a friendly tone to his voice. The Tusken turned to Connor. “She is great worrier.”

Corvus glanced at Connor and whispered, “Don’t correct him – he doesn’t like it.”

“I thank you for welcoming us into your camp again. And I know you will have heard what we heard last night. If we don’t deal with it, you’ll have to move away and I don’t know where you’ll find another well.”

The Tusken looked down at the gaderffii stick in his hands. He looked around the camp – there were barely twenty tents for a tribe that once boasted numbers in the hundreds. “Three warriors. And me.”

“You honour us A’Jork. I am sure between us we shall defeat this Dragon and your exploits can be spoken of for generations to come. Now Connor here, he’s the one with the plan. I remember the bit about bantha but I’ll let him fill in from there.” She smiled at her fellow Jedi and raised an eyebrow. It said – over to you then…

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor felt no immediate threat, but walking around a camp full of savages and stinking beasts un-nerved him. He knew enough about the good and bad of the planet, and these were bad. Standing outside the largest tent, they were greeted with another Tusken, but immediately his colours and stature spoke volumes above the rest.

Reaching up to pull down his cloth, Connor mirrored Corvus and smiled awkwardly as the Tusken talked to him.

”Oh, she is a great worrier indeed. A mighty worrier. One of the best worriers around.”

His tiny smirk said enough, but he doubt anyone was paying attention. As the two conversed, Connor stood and waited, and before he knew it, both were looking directly at him. Corvus had that look in her eye. Right now he didn’t know he hated her or beginning to like her.

Pausing for a moment, he smiled at them both and rubbed his hands down the side of his greatcoat.

”Yes. A plan. Our plan. Corvus, make sure anything I say doesn’t get confused or come across insulting ok?”

Kneeling down, he pointed to the warm dry sand below, covered more with rock and grit due to the camp surroundings. With each action he spoke of, he drew a very basic diagram in the sand to highlight his point.

”We need bantha, 4 or 5 at the most. A good meal, but not one that is going to give indigestion. Male banth, no female or young. We may have to sacrifice one or two during this regrettably, but not in vain. If we can herd them into the Jundland Wastes, in a convoy with not much room around for movement, it should entice the Krayt, as having food on your doorstep is going to be far more attractive than heading into the Dunes for it.”

He took some stones to continue the military style drawing, which he hoped wasn’t confusing.

”Corvus and I flank the bantha on either side, your warriors down on the ground. It will be dangerous, but I can say that their safety will be our top priority as it may prove more enticing for the Krayt. The less movement and confusion we make, the better. When we get sight of our Krayt who hopefully will go for the bantha, hence losing one or two, Corvus and I strike first with great strength and weaponry. Your warriors will be able to help disorientate and confuse it with your numbers. Our blades need to strike here - ” he tapped around his sinus cavity on his own face, ” – to stand any chance to slay the beast.”

Frowning at his own diagram and explanation, he eventually stood up and looked at them both, unsure of how he just came across.

”What do you think?”

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Corvus Raaf]

A'Jork nodded and slapped Connor on the back. "Good plan. Tusken worriers find Banta. Not pleased they die but death of Krayt more important. We find five. Just bulls."

The Tusken leader moved away and after much discussion returned. "It is done. Many worriers want to fight but I choose three. Three and me and you is enough. We go to Jundland wastes now. Long walk. Go slow. Keep energy."

With this he moved away and appeared to be coordinating matters.

"A fine leader," Corvus mused. "Not afraid to die but saw the reasoning in not having to die given the choice. You see they had no water. I..negotiated them access to this well in return for not attacking the livestock on the farm we're situated on. They breed dewbacks primarily."

This all sounded very matter-of-fact from Corvus' perspective - as if striking deals with Tusken Raiders was something you did on a daily basis.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

With a slightly awkward but relieved smile, Connor jumped slightly at the slap from the Tusken, he never thought he’d experience that, and nodded in acknowledgement. With a satisfied smirk, he flashes his eyebrows up at Crovus and turned his attention to listen to the broken Basic he spoke.

With a nod, Connor agreed, ”I will protect your war…ah, your way in, and your men who fight. I assure you.”

Turning to Corvus, he held the cloth in his fingers, ready to pull it up and brace for another walk in the desert, surprised he actually had lasted this long.

”I’m impressed, Corvy. I can take some water right? I mean I’m not going to be trespassing on their territory am I?”

He turned, but quickly threw something else into the conversation before A’Jork took them out.

”I still think you’re crazy doing this by the way.”

He pulled the cloth up and indicated for her to come.

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Corvus Raaf]

Corvus noticed the Tusken give Connor a pat on the back. Fortunately he’d never laid a hand on Corvus. From the force of the ‘gentle’ blow she was pleased for the fact. And she nodded when Connor asked about the water. “They won’t mind at all. For the first time in a generation they’ve got their own water supply. I simply brokered the deal. The negotiations were...short.”

“And me, crazy?” She gave him a look of mock horror. “From your exploits on Rhen Var to drinking blue milk to manhandling holocrons, you have the audacity to call me crazy?”

She looked in the direction A’Jork was walking furiously – they needed to set off soon to catch him up. “Perhaps.”

Then she turned and looked Connor in the eye, “But you wouldn’t have me any other way.” And she set off, following A’Jork’s tracks. “Hurry up, slowcoach. And tell me, when you’re being Silver rather than following me, who do you hang with?”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

”There is NOTHING wrong with Blue Milk.”

Connor pulled up the cloth and started after Corvus, with the Tusken leader up ahead. Stopping and cursing, he turned back and hobbled over to the well beside the large tent and made sure to pull up enough to fill his flask. Fixing it to his belt, he ran past the curious Tuskens, giving a slight nod of the head to each as he did, before catching up to the convoy.

Behind the cloth, he grinned for a few seconds at her comment, looking down at the sand before them rather than talking.

”Hm,” he finally spoke, ”who do I hang with?”

Good question – sadly, a very simple and embarrassing answer.

”I could lie but you wouldn’t believe me. Just me. I don’t “hang” with anyone. Of course I get on with a good number of the Silvers, that’s a given, but…I don’t know, after everything, there’s no real chance to hang out with anyone, unless you’re on assignment.”

Frowning gently as he kicked some bones out of the way, he looked up across the bleak world in front of them.

”Bit embarrassing when you say it out loud. I don’t have anyone.”

Back that up QUICK or she’ll tear you to bits!

”You know, no-one who really gets me or likes me enough.”

Connor? THINK before you open your mouth, man!

Swallowing, he shook his head at himself. He looked over to Corvus.

”Well, what about you? Who do you “hang” with when you’re not trying to hang with me, which I don’t mind, of course.”

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Corvus Raaf]

Corvus smiled. "I wish I'd packed a little better, you looked like you needed a shovel just then." She smiled widely. "Listen, when I say hang, you know I don't have any free time. It's not like I go to any bars or shopping or anything like that. It's Jedi business or sleep."

She lifted her hood to help keep the sand off her face. "But of all the Jedi I chose to spend time with, it is [member="Kana Truden"]. She's just been made a Master you know. How good is that!" There was genuine warmth and affection in her voice. And perhaps pride? "She's the sister I never had..." Corvus' voice trailed off.

"I mean, I've got a family, or at least I think I have one, but I don't see them. Attachments and all that. But if I did see them, I'd want my sister to be just like Kana. Maybe..." She went quiet again for a few moments.

"Maybe that's a reason I don't go back. What if they're not as good as Kana? What would I do then?" She cleared her throat. "Ignore me, sand in my eye, sleep deprivation and all that. Dragon to kill and all that..."

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

For the first time since he'd known Corvus Raaf, which felt like forever but was actually less than 48 hours, she appeared to almost come over as...human. Looking over at her, down on the floor and ahead at the Tusken warriors, Corvus listened with great interest at the woman he didn't really know.

He nodded an approving nod about her friend - Kana. Kana. She'd mentioned her before, he was sure of it.

The more Corvus opened up, the more she closed up, and Connor could sense as she started to peer from behind that rock of a Jedi role she held, she just as quickly retreated. And again she started to retreat.

"Corvus..." Connor took a few steps forward over the sand and pulled her arm gently.

"You're allowed to be human, y'know. To think, and feel, just like all the rest of us. Don't hide yourself behind the robes of a duty you feel dictates your life. If something ever happens to you, it'll be sad if I didn't get to know the real Corvus Raaf, not the pre-programmed soldier of the Force...ok?"

With a half-assed smile behind the cloth thankfully covering his face, he patted her arm gently and moved off to the side to keep walking.

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Corvus Raaf]

Corvus listened to Connor. Like most Jedi he was honest. And like a few she took the time to listen to, he made sense. But it was difficult to explain how…complicated it was.

But it was bound to be a long walk to the oversized mouse-trap, so she decided not to fight the conversation. “I know a lot of Jedi come to the Order late. I’ve been a Jedi since I was four. It’s the only life I know. And being a Corellian Jedi initially, I chose to separate from my family. I didn’t have to, their rules are different. I could have lived at home – we were so close to the Academy in Coronet City. But I decided against it.”

She sighed. She’d told this story a few times now and the retelling didn’t get any easier. “I believed, I mean believe in no attachments. Absolutely. And I’m naturally gifted with Empathy, so to keen me sane, I have to filter out most emotions or, you know…” she mimicked a gun to her head. “It would overload my brain. So that’s why the cold-fish. I’m working on it and since I’ve been at Ossus I’ve been trained to control the flow – but of late it’s been easier to just keep it all out. And by definition in.”

“So when you say I’m allowed to be human, to me that’s just words. And I don’t mean I’m not listening or what you’re saying is wrong. I mean I simply don’t understand. I can be a Jedi. That I seem to be OK at. But that fills up my day. And even if I wanted to make time for me, I don’t know what to do.”

She looked Connor in the eyes, through the slit his scarf afforded. “Am I making any sense?”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Damn dunes.

Connor held his hand out right to keep balance as the sand drifted away from under him as he took a steep dune, sighing to himself and keeping up with Corvus who was traversing the planet like a pro. Stepping up beside her for an easier walk down with the Tuskens still leading and seeming to be casually admiring their ordinary surroundings, he listened intently.

So she’d taken herself out of a family environment – for what reason, to protect her family or just her? And from her evident feelings coming out, as small and precise as they were, it seemed that she now had a hint of regret.

One thing Connor did well was thinking on words and getting things right, or sometimes wrong. From what she was saying, he couldn’t help feel that so much was happening to her and the galaxy that she was effectively shutting herself away from it all and building an impenetrable shell of emotional steel around her mind and body.

A frown broke and his chewed his lips as she spoke, and then turned to him at the point she seemed to be asking for something – anything. Was he right or wrong, or was the sun playing tricks; more so, was the Sith Magic playing trick.

That was the annoying thing about those pesky Sith – they stripped away humanity to make you doubt even your basic right of free thinking and rationalisation. He sighed at the gamble he was going to take.

Reaching out, he took her fingers and gently cupped them in his hand. If there was a ever a crack in the shell, it was now.

”You make sense, but I’m afraid to be honest with you to the point I don’t know if it would either offend you or please you.”

His eyes went down and flicked between anything he could focus on as he swallowed.

”Trust in the Force – it will tell you what is right, Corvus.”

His hand fell away from her fingers and he met her eyes again with a small nod. Now wasn’t the time or place. Now, however, he could be the one to keep moving, and to know when words failed him.

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Corvus Raaf]

She might be good at walking over these dunes after what felt like months of doing so but was more like a couple of weeks. But that didn’t mean she enjoyed it. But her morning and evening runs meant she didn’t need to call on the force to keep up the pace.

She was shocked out of her thoughts by Connor taking her hand and cupping it in his own. I mean, it was one thing to be cuddled for the first time in fifteen years on this planet but this was a genuine first. And not sure what to do, she simply held a frozen expression on her face and waited to see what would transpire.

She was relieved when Connor spoke. In part because it was advice. She could cope with that. And it made sense. For goodness sake, how many times had she told her own Padawans the same thing.

And the words of one of her first teachers came to her lips, a phrase she’d used over and over. “Trust in the Force. People will let you down. Governments will let you down. Even you will let you down, but the Force will never let you down.”

“Funny how things come back at the opportune time, eh? I know how to be a Jedi and I know how to listen to the Force. Kind words. Honest words and helpful words. Thanks.” And she smiled and swung her arms forwards and backwards in unison as she walked.

“As a species, would you say women are complicated Connor?”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

With a soft roll of his eyes, Connor had to feel like sometimes the slightest bit of advice given could be blown way out of line – this was one time.

Blowing out his cheeks as he thought, he had a head full of responses. A few hms and ahhs aside, he finally found one.

”Not complicated. Just…um…complex. I think once you understand them, they’re not so bad. I can’t say I understand many however.”

Turning his head, he smiled and pointed a finger directly at her smile.

”You, on the hand, Miss Raaf, now YOU are complicated. God knows I can’t work you out, but I will try.”

After a second –

”Oh, and about trusting the Force? That’s good, but don’t put that over people. Not everyone will let you down. I won’t let you down.”

Fire something back, quick.

”Do men complicate you then, Corvus?”

[member="Corvus Raaf"]

 

[Corvus Raaf]

Corvus looked at Connor. “Complex but not complicated? In which galaxy dos that make sense? And we’re not so bad?” She couldn’t hep herself from laughing and had to put her hand over her mouth.

“I think of myself as an enigma.” She smiled freely now, the previous self-doubts blown away by the desert wind. “Unfathomable. Deep and mysterious.” She laughed again.

“But I like to place my faith in the Force. And if you do too, I can trust you.”

And then she considered his final question, her face twisting as she thought. “Men…confuse me. I’m a Jedi. That’s it. A Jedi. And I want to be a decent Jedi. And boys – and men – should respect that. So why do so many try to hit on me. I mean, I think they do. People tell me they do. I just don’t see it. There was this one time a Padawan blew up a classroom because he thought I‘d rebuffed him. I didn’t even know he was interested. I mean, every piece of furniture reduced to matchsticks, honestly!”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

With a shake of his head, he dismissed her little juvenile giggle, glaringly obvious behind her hand. But when she spoke again, he turned the shake into a nod. An enigma indeed.

”Complex ISN’T the same as complicated,” he muttered under his breath.

And he looked over when she placed trust down to the Force. That surprised him. She really was a born again servant of the midicholorian generation. Generation M. He placed his faith in two things – the Force and his mind. If he lied to himself, he wouldn’t be Connor and so would never doubt the mind he was born with that shaped him. As a defender of the Light serving the Force, which would also carry his faith that what he did and how he controlled it, that also was the right way.

Moving past a skeleton of what looked like a decayed Dewback, Connor again was subject to more evidence of Corvus the Enigma.

”Corvus,” he began, trying to find the words, ” you’re a Jedi, but you’re also human, and you have emotions. You can’t keep turning them off at the sake of serving the Force, that’s not…healthy!”

He raised his hands to stop any snappy comeback. He really was trying to think what he said.

”I mean, I know emotions can be a dangerous thing, but they can also save you, and if you become do detached from them…what does that make you to everyone and everything else? You’re a fascinating specimen, and clearly that Padawan had some emotional issues, yes, but don’t blind yourself to those who genuinely like you for who and what you are. And what about your family? How will you ever feel able to connect with them if the chance arise when you’ve turned everything off to become Corvus The Almighty?”

Nothing came back – that was either good or bad. Good job his face mask was up to hide any embarrassment.

”You’re an inspirational Jedi, Corvy, truly. If you trust me, one day I will show you how much you can be both respected and admired equally without turning the room into matchsticks. Enigma’s can always be cracked.”

[member="Corvus Raaf"]